A/N: So, I lied. This isn't going to be the last part. I've decided to
split the last part into two. It's right where it shifts gears anyway. At
least that's the plan. I may go on more after when I planned to have it
finished, but I'm not sure.
Part 6-And Into the Abyss.
Collins turned the corner and found Mark playing with some wiring.
"Fuck," Mark mumbled to himself.
"Mark Cohen," Collins exclaimed in fake shock. "Wherever did you learn that word? It's not like we say it that much around here." He laughed.
Mark looked up at him and rolled his eyes. He shivered and his breath was visible in the freezing air. "Very funny. You ever consider comedy instead of philosophy?" He cracked a smile.
Collins shook his head. "What are you doing?" he asked.
"I'm fixing this for Maureen," Mark stated simply.
Collins sighed. "You're not her slave, you know."
"I know," Mark replied. "Sometimes I feel like it," he whispered under his breath.
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
Truth be told, many times Mark felt like pulling out all of his hair, Maureen was so frustrating. Any sensible person would have dumped her, but apparently Mark didn't have much common sense.
At least he wasn't alone.
That was basically what he feared most. To end up all alone. He had spent most of his life that way, and he didn't want to go back to that. Now he had friends, and even a girlfriend. He couldn't imagine what life would be like if he lost anything now.
"I'm okay," he said. He rubbed his hands together.
"Well, I'm not so sure," Collins told him.
"What do you mean by that?"
Collins put a hand on Mark's shoulder. "I just don't want you getting hurt. Sometimes it's smarter to just back away."
Mark was silent and he looked down at the ground. Collins waited a minute, and then left.
"I love her," Mark whispered. He thought dimly that it was really more to convince himself than. He looked up. .the air.
He shivered and went back to work.
------------------
Collins walked in the loft door noisily.
"What's that?" Roger immediately asked, and pointed at a large box in Collins' hands.
"Christmas decorations," Collins answered. "Anyone wanna help?" He looked around the room.
Mark shrugged. "I'll help."
Roger looked at him. "I thought you were Jewish."
Mark paused for a second. "Liberal."
April snorted. "The last time I checked, that didn't mean that you celebrate Christmas," she commented.
"True. But." Mark turned to the people in the loft as a whole. "The holidays is this time of year when people can just come together and celebrate as a community. It's a time where we can look at ourselves and forget about all of our angers.and.and.our judgments and.whatever else we might hold against each other. It's a time to just be ourselves and rejoice in the fact that we are who we are. We are us." Mark stood in silence for a while as everyone just stared at him. He laughed a bit uncomfortably. "As long as you don't get all religious on me." He blushed.
Suddenly, Collins broke out singing, "Oh holy night."
Everyone started laughing.
---------------
Roger opened his eyes. He looked at April beside him, still fast asleep.
There was something jabbing at his subconscious. Something tearing him away from his sleep.
He got up and rubbed his eyes, which cleared his vision, but not his head.
He looked down at April, and abstract thoughts began forming in his mind. He often wondered if he really loved her. Roger didn't think that he actually knew what love was. But most of these questioning thoughts where interrupted by sex or drugs. And there was also a thought; one thought that drowned out all of the rest. The strange, yet constant thought that April would lead him to his destiny. This made no sense, of course, because Roger didn't really believe that he had a destiny.
Roger quickly got dressed and exited the small room. Without stopping to put on his coat, he left the loft.
When he was outside, he ignored the bitter cold December air and started walking.
A strange sense came over him. He'd done this before, in another time, another place.
He came to a short stop in front of a cheery sign about Christmas. As if Christmas '93 was going to be better than any other crappy year that had come before. That was when he lost complete focus.
Roger vaguely thought that he'd lost something. Something that was vital in order for him to keep walking the way that he was. However, nothing was processing. No sense was getting its message all the way to his brain. Not sight, not sound, not anything.
He stopped once more, and for a brief moment, his senses returned to him. He suddenly heard the screeching of tires and felt something hitting him straight on.
Then, he went unconscious.
---------------
Maureen stood in front of the mirror gazing at herself.
She'd been thinking. Almost thinking too much. It was making her head hurt. It had been a month since Roger was hit by that car and he'd since returned home. But something.changed during that space in time. Something colossally important had changed. She somehow got the feeling that if things hadn't gone out exactly as they did, everything would be completely different right now.
Before Roger had gotten himself hit, everything had been going just fine. But once Mark found out that Roger was in the hospital it was like she didn't even exist. She wasn't used to being ignored and for the first time in her life she'd felt dejected. And just because Mark was concerned about his best friend. A little voice in her head chided her for being so vain. A louder voice in her head yelled at the little voice to shut up.
Maureen looked down at the object she was holding and tapped her foot on the ground. She'd never been this nervous before in her life. Or felt this guilty. In fact, she couldn't remember the last time she'd felt guilty at all. Damn, that boy was getting to her.
She heard the door start to open behind her. She swiveled around quickly and shoved her hand behind her back.
"Mark."
"Um.I'm sorry I just barged in on you like this." he looked embarrassed. A larger wave of guilt washed over her. For as long as she remembered she had always believed she could have anyone that she wanted. But now she realized that she didn't deserve Mark. He was too good, too loyal for someone like her. And when he leaves her alone even when his best friend's life is in danger she goes and cheats on him.
"It's okay," she told him and carefully stuffed the object in a drawer. She took a breath. "Too bad you didn't walk in on me naked." She gave him a playful smile.
He smiled back at her. Well.at least he didn't blush anymore.
She took his hand. "You've been in here awhile," Mark commented.
"Yeah." for once she couldn't think of anything else to say.
They stood there for a while, just looking at each other. Not sure what to say, not sure what to do, not sure of anything.
"So.I'll just finish up in here and I'll be right out," Maureen finally said.
"Sure."
They kissed. "I love you," Mark whispered in her ear and as he did, Maureen died inside. "I do too, Pookie."
Mark pulled away from her. "You've never called me that before."
"I know," Maureen said thoughtfully.
Mark left, at which point Maureen turned around, quickly pulled the object out of the drawer and looked at it.an early pregnancy test.negative. She breathed a sigh of relief. At least this trial was over.
But something else was changing inside of her. The guy she'd cheated on Mark with was her usual type, extremely hot with plenty of muscles, but she hadn't felt anything. She'd observed his hotness as a kind of scientific measure, not actual attraction. She hadn't actually felt anything at all.
She didn't know what was happening to her and this fact disturbed her more than anything else.
-------------
"Hey Collins," Mark greeted as he entered the loft.
Collins smiled at him warmly. "Alone?"
Mark looked around him as if such an action would change the status of his company. He finally answered, "Yeah."
Collins went back to something he was writing.
"Collins?" Mark asked timidly.
"Yes?" Collins looked up as if this was exactly what he'd been expecting.
"Do." Mark took a breath. "Do you ever wish you had.someone?"
Collins had the look of someone whose entire expectations had just been flushed down the drain. "Well, I don't consider that the only important thing in my life. I have my friends," he smiled, "that's what really matters."
"I suppose." Mark paused. "But don't you ever get lonely?"
"Sometimes. But it never gets the chance to overcome me. Loneliness is something that should never swallow someone whole. There's always something else to consider. No one should stay with someone just because they're afraid to sleep alone at night."
"Was that a pointed comment?" Mark questioned.
Collins raised an eyebrow. "I don't know. Is it?"
Mark sighed. "I don't know what to do. I think Maureen's cheating on me. But I don't want to accuse her if.well.I mean." he closed his eyes in frustration and then opened them again. "I don't know what I mean."
Collins nodded. "What do you know?" he asked.
"I know that she spends nights away without explanation," Mark stated. "And then she tends to call me Pookie afterwards.I'm not sure what that's about."
"So what are you going to do about it?" Collins asked him, finally trying to get out of Mark what he'd been trying to for months.
"I don't know." Mark said cautiously before, "No, I can't-I can't!" And with that he swiftly left the loft.
-----------
"Why do I feel like the holidays is the only time we're all in the same place at the same time?" Mark randomly asked the group.
"Because that is absolutely true, my man," Roger pointed out.
"Well, it shouldn't be," Mark commented as stubbornly as a five-year-old.
Roger shrugged. Everyone looked at each other.
"Why the sudden interest?" Maureen asked him.
"No reason," Mark responded. "It's just.I wish." And a million words were left unspoken.
-------------------
Benny whistled to himself as he got a glass of milk. He had an interview today. An actual interview with a big company. Interviews always made him optimistic, mainly because they were so few and far between that one of them sometime had to be The One. First he just had to stay in the loft long enough to give the landlord their rent payment. Everyone else was conveniently elsewhere. He smiled to himself. They all hated playing business.
There was a knock at the door. He looked at the clock. "A bit early.." He thought aloud.
When he opened the door he took a double take, for standing just outside the loft was not the old man that he had expected, but rather a beautiful blonde woman.
"Uh.hi," he said, taken aback. He paused for a moment, then realized he was gaping. "I'm sorry, I was expecting the landlord. And you are?"
"His daughter." She smiled and held out her hand, which Benny shook. "Alison Grey. And you're Mr.-?"
"Coffin. Benny."
"Nice to meet you." She smiled warmly, and Benny suddenly felt as if the sun was shining just for him.
He blushed. "Nice to meet you too."
"So, my father sent me down here because he was caught up in a business deal. Therefore, unfortunately, I'm going to have to ask you for the rent." She sat down and crossed her legs.
Benny tried not to stare at her and he crossed the room to get the money off the counter. "That's okay. It's all right here," he told her.
"Great." She smiled again as she took the money from him. "So I guess I should be going."
"Yeah."
"Yeah."
She left and Benny sighed wistfully. It was just too bad she was so far out of his league. He could still dream. And speaking of which.all those thoughts about Alison and he almost forgot about his interview. It was a good thing she'd been early. Benny went out the door in a slightly different mood than he'd been in earlier.
Part 6-And Into the Abyss.
Collins turned the corner and found Mark playing with some wiring.
"Fuck," Mark mumbled to himself.
"Mark Cohen," Collins exclaimed in fake shock. "Wherever did you learn that word? It's not like we say it that much around here." He laughed.
Mark looked up at him and rolled his eyes. He shivered and his breath was visible in the freezing air. "Very funny. You ever consider comedy instead of philosophy?" He cracked a smile.
Collins shook his head. "What are you doing?" he asked.
"I'm fixing this for Maureen," Mark stated simply.
Collins sighed. "You're not her slave, you know."
"I know," Mark replied. "Sometimes I feel like it," he whispered under his breath.
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
Truth be told, many times Mark felt like pulling out all of his hair, Maureen was so frustrating. Any sensible person would have dumped her, but apparently Mark didn't have much common sense.
At least he wasn't alone.
That was basically what he feared most. To end up all alone. He had spent most of his life that way, and he didn't want to go back to that. Now he had friends, and even a girlfriend. He couldn't imagine what life would be like if he lost anything now.
"I'm okay," he said. He rubbed his hands together.
"Well, I'm not so sure," Collins told him.
"What do you mean by that?"
Collins put a hand on Mark's shoulder. "I just don't want you getting hurt. Sometimes it's smarter to just back away."
Mark was silent and he looked down at the ground. Collins waited a minute, and then left.
"I love her," Mark whispered. He thought dimly that it was really more to convince himself than. He looked up. .the air.
He shivered and went back to work.
------------------
Collins walked in the loft door noisily.
"What's that?" Roger immediately asked, and pointed at a large box in Collins' hands.
"Christmas decorations," Collins answered. "Anyone wanna help?" He looked around the room.
Mark shrugged. "I'll help."
Roger looked at him. "I thought you were Jewish."
Mark paused for a second. "Liberal."
April snorted. "The last time I checked, that didn't mean that you celebrate Christmas," she commented.
"True. But." Mark turned to the people in the loft as a whole. "The holidays is this time of year when people can just come together and celebrate as a community. It's a time where we can look at ourselves and forget about all of our angers.and.and.our judgments and.whatever else we might hold against each other. It's a time to just be ourselves and rejoice in the fact that we are who we are. We are us." Mark stood in silence for a while as everyone just stared at him. He laughed a bit uncomfortably. "As long as you don't get all religious on me." He blushed.
Suddenly, Collins broke out singing, "Oh holy night."
Everyone started laughing.
---------------
Roger opened his eyes. He looked at April beside him, still fast asleep.
There was something jabbing at his subconscious. Something tearing him away from his sleep.
He got up and rubbed his eyes, which cleared his vision, but not his head.
He looked down at April, and abstract thoughts began forming in his mind. He often wondered if he really loved her. Roger didn't think that he actually knew what love was. But most of these questioning thoughts where interrupted by sex or drugs. And there was also a thought; one thought that drowned out all of the rest. The strange, yet constant thought that April would lead him to his destiny. This made no sense, of course, because Roger didn't really believe that he had a destiny.
Roger quickly got dressed and exited the small room. Without stopping to put on his coat, he left the loft.
When he was outside, he ignored the bitter cold December air and started walking.
A strange sense came over him. He'd done this before, in another time, another place.
He came to a short stop in front of a cheery sign about Christmas. As if Christmas '93 was going to be better than any other crappy year that had come before. That was when he lost complete focus.
Roger vaguely thought that he'd lost something. Something that was vital in order for him to keep walking the way that he was. However, nothing was processing. No sense was getting its message all the way to his brain. Not sight, not sound, not anything.
He stopped once more, and for a brief moment, his senses returned to him. He suddenly heard the screeching of tires and felt something hitting him straight on.
Then, he went unconscious.
---------------
Maureen stood in front of the mirror gazing at herself.
She'd been thinking. Almost thinking too much. It was making her head hurt. It had been a month since Roger was hit by that car and he'd since returned home. But something.changed during that space in time. Something colossally important had changed. She somehow got the feeling that if things hadn't gone out exactly as they did, everything would be completely different right now.
Before Roger had gotten himself hit, everything had been going just fine. But once Mark found out that Roger was in the hospital it was like she didn't even exist. She wasn't used to being ignored and for the first time in her life she'd felt dejected. And just because Mark was concerned about his best friend. A little voice in her head chided her for being so vain. A louder voice in her head yelled at the little voice to shut up.
Maureen looked down at the object she was holding and tapped her foot on the ground. She'd never been this nervous before in her life. Or felt this guilty. In fact, she couldn't remember the last time she'd felt guilty at all. Damn, that boy was getting to her.
She heard the door start to open behind her. She swiveled around quickly and shoved her hand behind her back.
"Mark."
"Um.I'm sorry I just barged in on you like this." he looked embarrassed. A larger wave of guilt washed over her. For as long as she remembered she had always believed she could have anyone that she wanted. But now she realized that she didn't deserve Mark. He was too good, too loyal for someone like her. And when he leaves her alone even when his best friend's life is in danger she goes and cheats on him.
"It's okay," she told him and carefully stuffed the object in a drawer. She took a breath. "Too bad you didn't walk in on me naked." She gave him a playful smile.
He smiled back at her. Well.at least he didn't blush anymore.
She took his hand. "You've been in here awhile," Mark commented.
"Yeah." for once she couldn't think of anything else to say.
They stood there for a while, just looking at each other. Not sure what to say, not sure what to do, not sure of anything.
"So.I'll just finish up in here and I'll be right out," Maureen finally said.
"Sure."
They kissed. "I love you," Mark whispered in her ear and as he did, Maureen died inside. "I do too, Pookie."
Mark pulled away from her. "You've never called me that before."
"I know," Maureen said thoughtfully.
Mark left, at which point Maureen turned around, quickly pulled the object out of the drawer and looked at it.an early pregnancy test.negative. She breathed a sigh of relief. At least this trial was over.
But something else was changing inside of her. The guy she'd cheated on Mark with was her usual type, extremely hot with plenty of muscles, but she hadn't felt anything. She'd observed his hotness as a kind of scientific measure, not actual attraction. She hadn't actually felt anything at all.
She didn't know what was happening to her and this fact disturbed her more than anything else.
-------------
"Hey Collins," Mark greeted as he entered the loft.
Collins smiled at him warmly. "Alone?"
Mark looked around him as if such an action would change the status of his company. He finally answered, "Yeah."
Collins went back to something he was writing.
"Collins?" Mark asked timidly.
"Yes?" Collins looked up as if this was exactly what he'd been expecting.
"Do." Mark took a breath. "Do you ever wish you had.someone?"
Collins had the look of someone whose entire expectations had just been flushed down the drain. "Well, I don't consider that the only important thing in my life. I have my friends," he smiled, "that's what really matters."
"I suppose." Mark paused. "But don't you ever get lonely?"
"Sometimes. But it never gets the chance to overcome me. Loneliness is something that should never swallow someone whole. There's always something else to consider. No one should stay with someone just because they're afraid to sleep alone at night."
"Was that a pointed comment?" Mark questioned.
Collins raised an eyebrow. "I don't know. Is it?"
Mark sighed. "I don't know what to do. I think Maureen's cheating on me. But I don't want to accuse her if.well.I mean." he closed his eyes in frustration and then opened them again. "I don't know what I mean."
Collins nodded. "What do you know?" he asked.
"I know that she spends nights away without explanation," Mark stated. "And then she tends to call me Pookie afterwards.I'm not sure what that's about."
"So what are you going to do about it?" Collins asked him, finally trying to get out of Mark what he'd been trying to for months.
"I don't know." Mark said cautiously before, "No, I can't-I can't!" And with that he swiftly left the loft.
-----------
"Why do I feel like the holidays is the only time we're all in the same place at the same time?" Mark randomly asked the group.
"Because that is absolutely true, my man," Roger pointed out.
"Well, it shouldn't be," Mark commented as stubbornly as a five-year-old.
Roger shrugged. Everyone looked at each other.
"Why the sudden interest?" Maureen asked him.
"No reason," Mark responded. "It's just.I wish." And a million words were left unspoken.
-------------------
Benny whistled to himself as he got a glass of milk. He had an interview today. An actual interview with a big company. Interviews always made him optimistic, mainly because they were so few and far between that one of them sometime had to be The One. First he just had to stay in the loft long enough to give the landlord their rent payment. Everyone else was conveniently elsewhere. He smiled to himself. They all hated playing business.
There was a knock at the door. He looked at the clock. "A bit early.." He thought aloud.
When he opened the door he took a double take, for standing just outside the loft was not the old man that he had expected, but rather a beautiful blonde woman.
"Uh.hi," he said, taken aback. He paused for a moment, then realized he was gaping. "I'm sorry, I was expecting the landlord. And you are?"
"His daughter." She smiled and held out her hand, which Benny shook. "Alison Grey. And you're Mr.-?"
"Coffin. Benny."
"Nice to meet you." She smiled warmly, and Benny suddenly felt as if the sun was shining just for him.
He blushed. "Nice to meet you too."
"So, my father sent me down here because he was caught up in a business deal. Therefore, unfortunately, I'm going to have to ask you for the rent." She sat down and crossed her legs.
Benny tried not to stare at her and he crossed the room to get the money off the counter. "That's okay. It's all right here," he told her.
"Great." She smiled again as she took the money from him. "So I guess I should be going."
"Yeah."
"Yeah."
She left and Benny sighed wistfully. It was just too bad she was so far out of his league. He could still dream. And speaking of which.all those thoughts about Alison and he almost forgot about his interview. It was a good thing she'd been early. Benny went out the door in a slightly different mood than he'd been in earlier.