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SWEETER THAN A NIGHTINGALE
by Tyde

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Chapter Three

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Ron started to like some parts of Muggle hospital practices and started to despise others. For instance the checking of his vital signs.

Every hour a nurse would come in and take his temperature with a weird little machine they'd put into his ear. It wasn't at all painful (he was very grateful for that) but it did interrupt whatever he was doing at the time, for instance sleeping.

The taking of his blood pressure he found very odd. The sensation of having that thing wrapped around his arm and it being squeezed tightly felt just like when he'd eaten one of Fred and George's Pixie Pops prototypes and found himself shrinking to the size of your average garden pixie. Later on, Fred had devised a charm to stop the pressure sensation during the shrinking process and they were one of their most popular items, especially on those hot summer days.

The only machine he was still hooked up to was the IV and he didn't mind that so much, although lately it had taken to beeping loudly with a silly little tune at 3 in the morning when the bag ran out and needed to be changed.

Of course he muttered to himself it didn't really matter at 3 in the morning cause I'm already awake from the bloody vitals check.

Ron proved to be a difficult patient, complaining about things left and right, and Hermione started to wonder what she'd gotten herself into when she'd told Ron's doctor that she'd take over his nursing care, therapy and all. His favourite complaint for the first month had been the bed pan bottle.

"I'd prefer to pee in a toilet, not a bloody bottle!" he'd said when she'd handed it to him.

"But Ron you're not allowed to get out of bed yet! Just be lucky that it's a bed pan you're using and you're not hooked up with a catheter tube."

"A what?" She explained it to him and that familiar look of horror flushed into his features. "They put a tube in your...bloody hell!"

"Be thankful you're a bed pan man Ron."

Her hands were rested on her hips in a look of disapproval. "Have you even read that material I left with you yesterday? It explains everything about what's happened to you and how the treatments will be implemented."

"Geez Mione this isn't school. Don't go setting me homework! Next you'll be telling me I can't Apparate to the loo cause you've read in Bethnal Green Hospital, A History that it's impossible!"

"Don't be silly Ron, there is no such book. It's actually mentioned in The History of London Hospitals but that's beside the point. You can't Apparate anyway"

"Why not? Too much electrical interference?"

"No, in case you haven't noticed you are still hooked up to a machine. You can't Apparate while holding, or in your case are attached to, a Muggle object. It muddles things up, mixes all the elements around, and you could end up with your nose being replaced by a metal pole or a tube or something. Plus if you Apparate to the toilet how am I going to explain to the orderly why your bed pan never seems to be full? Honestly Ron, you're in the Muggle world now, you've got to think of these things!"

"That's what I've got you for Mione. You're looking after me"

His ready grin wanted to make her burst out with laughter. Even with horrific injuries and the like he was still quite the charmer. She pursed her lips as if in disapproval but they soon parted to form a small smile.

"What am I going to do with you Ron Weasley? I'm surprised the Ministry haven't busted down that door yet to charge you with breaking every law associated with keeping the wizard world a secret from Muggles. Although I imagine your father is probably getting them to bend a few rules for you"

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She stood nervously at the door with the cart beside her. It was a part of nursing she'd done before, quite a few times actually, but she'd forgotten all about it when she'd agreed to care for Ron.

"How could I have forgotten this?" she said aloud to herself. "I can't do it".

Hermione thought it would be best to just turn around, find Gemma and get her to do it instead. She was halfway down the hall towards the nurse's station before she decided that she didn't want her friend to do this either. Charging into the room with the cart in tow she met a startled looking Ron. His surprise soon turned to pleasantries.

"Morning Mione! This tellyvision thing is quite interesting. Muggle pleasemen are quite funny aren't they?"

She looked at the screen to see that he was watching re-runs of The Bill. Hermione had meant to say something in agreement, or some sort of "Hello, how are you feeling?" but instead she just blurted out why she was there.

"RonIhavetogiveyouaspongebath"

"What's that? You have to what?"

"I have to give you a...um a sponge bath"

Her face matched the colour of the blood sample she'd taken from Mr Harrington that morning and she felt like someone had turned up the thermostat in the room.

Ron's eyebrows raised themselves up so high they almost blended into his hairline. "A sponge bath? Naked and everything? You're joking right?"

"Um no. You've got to keep clean otherwise you'll leave yourself open to infections"

"I'm not letting you wash me Hermione. Bloke's gotta have some privacy. The bed pan thing is bad enough, it is, and you want to add getting me nicky nude to the list, I don't think so!" He crossed his arms over his chest and put on his stubborn face.

"If I don't do it Ron, Matron Sloane will and we all know how much you like her"

He looked like an unpleasant taste had suddenly invaded his mouth. He gulped. "Right then, get on with it. And no peeking!"

As Hermione stepped closer to the bed and dragging the cart with the basin of water and sponges on it a thought out of the blue hit her and she voiced it loudly. "A cleansing spell"

"Pardon?" he was looking with trepidation at the sponge dripping with warm water that she had clutched in her hand.

"Why didn't I think of it before? A cleansing spell. If I lock the door and just use a spell to wash you no one will know and you won't have to take off your clothes. It cleans just as well if you have clothes on". The tension in the room immediately dissipated and they were smiling at each other again like old times.

"Thank Merlin that big brain of yours never shrank Mione or we'd be in a bit of a pickle"

They both guffawed.

"Right then," he said recovering "clean me already".

Hermione plucked her wand from the inside of her coat and pointed it at the hospital bed containing the red head. She didn't even get the chance to recite the incantation because suddenly Ron's eyes rolled back in his head and Hermione did the first time that came to mind.

She screamed.

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Author's note:  wn_law – thanks for that. It's really hard to put original elements into HP fanfiction cause there are only so many ideas out there!