PROLOGUE
Rae Areostall sat alone, by herself, at the edge of her cold, hard bed. She wasn't going to cry, she couldn't let herself do that, she wouldn't give in. Her parents didn't mean that much to her, yet she didn't know why she was so defeated. Rae's father had died when she was just three, and now her mother had just been arrested for possession of heroine.
Rae was always unsafe in the midst of her thoughts, because she was unsure of where they would take her. She hadn't really had to think much about who she was before, because she hid behind the image of that fourteen year old girl with bundles of friends and self-esteem. Yet, she couldn't help wondering if this had happened to her mother, it could very well happen to her. Her face was now a stream, and she wanted to stay strong, but she hadn't. Where will they take me now? She wondered. She hoped wherever it was they would be simply nice. Although she was torn apart by this, deep down inside she couldn't help feeling a tad of relief. It had always been hard hiding her mother's obsessions from her friends. She never wanted to be different than anyone else, but she always was. Now, that satisfaction was melting away when she started to realize all her friends would know about this. It's going to be in the papers and on TV. She'll have to leave her old school where all her friends are, and start somewhere new, where no one will know who she is, but they'll all know about her mother. The miserable tension of anxiety swept over her along with depression, crawling upon her like a spider, with a tingling feeling.
Suddenly Rae heard a knock on her bedroom door. It was a light, sympathetic knock, with a feeling of pity coming from the other side of the door. She didn't get up to open it though; she was unprepared for what it might mean. Then a coarse voice of a male spoke, "Rae, open up. We know how you must feel, but you can't stay locked up in this house forever. We will take you to a nice foster family, Don't worry,"
Rae tried to remain silent, and she covered her mouth to tame her cries. In one big gasp, the bind of her fingers opened up into holes, letting her wallowing fly into the air. The echo of her moans could be heard through the house. The man spoke again. "Rae. Please. Don't cry. We need to take you out of here. I'm with the police. Don't be afraid." His sentences came out short, and abruptly as if he were afraid to say them. Rae thought that he should have been used to breaking the news by now.
With a gasp of whines, she trembled to the door. "Hi," he said in a casual manner, as if this had happened to all children.
Rae picked up her two, packed duffle bags, and a blanket she had since she was born, then strode out her bedroom door, looking out the window. She could practically see herself and her mother playing on the jungle gym through the window, with the next door neighbors. Then the voice of the kind policeman suddenly shattered that image. "Sorry that we must leave so quickly, Miss Areostall, but its time, now."
The Rae did something she never expected herself to do, she simply said "Okay," and left behind her past. She left behind the little memories of her father, the times when she locked herself in her room for days when her mother's addiction was at its climax, the times she pretended she didn't even know her mother, and the times in spite of her mother's many problems she still loved her more than the world itself. "Let's go." She muttered to herself in reassurance, "Let's go."
Then the policeman patted her on the shoulder, which helped Rae. She knew she was by herself in the world. In her life she would meet many people who would help her with the troubles she faced at this time, and maybe one of the foster homes she went to would be nice, just maybe. She'd try to remember never to get her hopes up high again, after what happened to her mother. Maybe after awhile Rae would have enough courage to visit her mother, but now she was going to live life as it came, and for herself, not for her mother, as she had in the past. She realized she had grown up through this difficult time. She wasn't going to be like her mother. No, she was going to be her own person. Maybe she had to grow up earlier than everyone else, but she would remember this day forever, and the moment she said, "Okay."