Dear Diary,

Guess who? ha ha! Well its Rae again, as always. Wish I weren't though wish I were some one else. I hate my life and I don't know if there is anything good going on it right now. Sometimes i can be a plain out BITCH. Maybe I should apologize to that Craig guy about what a jackass I was. Though, you know me!!! That will never happen! Have I ever, EVER been known to be the first one to apologize. but as my (CRAZY) mother used to say "There's always a time for everything" and maybe this is the time for this. But sorry if I sound like a freak by saying this. But I'll stay RAE- THANK YOU very much.

BYES dude, (may be my only friend!)

Rae

Rae Areostall sat in her new room, and stayed silent. She didn't really know who she was anymore- let a lone ever. She thought she used to know who she was, but that wasn't her... it just wasn't. Who am I? Rae wondered. I mean, who am I really? She'd always been too concerned with problems with her mother to focus on herself. Now her mother was gone and she was left... all alone... in the world. What is a girl to do? Rae joked in her mind. Maybe she'd ask Joey if she could possibly borrow his laptop and write an email to one of her friends to make her feel more at home. But, then who will it be? She wondered again.

Rae had friends that wouldn't understand her situation now- they just wouldn't. They would never have understood her. She just PRETENDED to be one of them, Craig Manning would have never guessed what she PRETENDED to be like back then. Rich... snob... that's what. She could never take anyone to her house- while it was big, and should have been very fancy- it was a shit whole. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? She thought. I mean how COULD it be kept clean when my mom went almost homicidal every evening?

Rae couldn't stand it, she just couldn't. She didn't even try to deal with all the shit her mom put her through, and that was the problem. She never dealt. She locked herself up in her room for days, and stayed home from school because she was too afraid of dealing with everything, and frightened of what might happen if she came out. There was more to her story, more she didn't even want to think about. And that's what Craig would never understand- still, maybe there was more to his as well.

Then she remembered there was one person she could talk to, the only one who really knew Rae for Rae. This was because he didn't go to her school, where she put on her every day act. Mika, how could she forget him? Let's IM Mika. She thought to herself. Oh, no! I'm not becoming schizophrenic, am I?

She passed Craig in the hallway of the Jeremiah house, trying to find Joey. He gave her a rude look as she passed him. After all, she sort of deserved it. Maybe I should ask him where Joey is. He's probably still pissed off, though. Oh well. "Umm..." She began hesitantly. "Hey," He gave her a question mark look. "Do you know where Joey is?"

"Umm, yeah. He's at the supermarket, and then he has to run another whole bunch of earns. He just left, so he won't be back for a while." This disappointed Rae. She really, really needed a pick-me-up. "Why?" he asked.

Rae simply answered " Well, I was hoping to email my friend, haven't spoken to any of them in a while. I wanted something to remind me of home."

"Poor Baby!" Craig said jokingly, but not meanly at all, laughing. "You can use mine... in the den." What, was this possible. Craig not being a jack-ass after what she did to him. Maybe this guy could be nice after.

This aroused a smile on Rae's face. She hadn't seen one in a while. "Thanks." She said running with joy into to den to email her friend. She quickly opened up the lap-top and pressed the starter button. Mika, Mika, Mika. She sung to herself in her mind. Old Buddy, old pal. She just couldn't wait to email him. "Yes!" She shouted when she typed in her email address and password quickly and hit new. She typed rapidly:

Dear Mika,

What's up boy? Heee heee heee. Stuff has been real tough lately. What's a girl to do when her mother's puffing the magic dragon? It's great how I can joke about these things with you Mike. I'm really gonna miss egging peoples houses with you on Halloween. You know me! Heee heee heee. This is the first time I've laughed in a long time. BOY! You gotta come visit your girl here in.... What's this place called? That's right DEGRASSI. School's tomorrow and I'm dredding it. I have SO MUCH to tell you. I have no Idea where on earth to begin! YOU better not have gotten any new friends as good as i am over the time I've been gone. I gotta go- reluctantly i'm getting off. Cuz I had to borrow this other guys computer- tell you bout him and the rest of this family i'm livin wit later. He and I got off with a rough start. Well cya lata. You'll always be my boy. Chow.

%$#***RAE***#$%

ps. don't be a freak while I'm gone. Sorry i won't be there to horde off the millions of girls who are after you (LOL) byes once again.

pss. maybe this Craig guy isn't so bad after all.

Rae quickly closed down the lap-top and waltzed to her room in joy. She couldn't wait to hear from Mika!