Summary: Xander watches Anya sleep and comes to a decision. Xander's POV.
Parings: Xander/ Anya all the way:)
Rating: PG little bit of sex talk
Disclaimer: I own none: (wish I did though
A/N: ok I'm not the best writer but I try so please review I would like to here negative and positive and I'll try to do better next time. I don't know if this will be a continue story it just depends on if I can make one out of this .Any ideas for this if it is continued please tell me and I might put them in.
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It was around six or so in the morning when I decided to head for her spot. I have no idea why but she really likes the early mornings. She says it's a new day to begin and she has to get to the money first. Who knows. I've tried for three or four years now to try and understand her and believe me it isn't easy.
I drive my car down to the place. It's about an hour drive but it's worth it. I play a lot of romantic love songs on my way there don't ask why but I'm trying to get inspired for this. I'm really nervous about this I don't know why it's just this is my last chance I fret to set things right with the love of my life.
I open the car door and step out a blanket it my hand. It's freezing outside how can she even stand it out here? I see her sitting there her feet dug into the sand and her legs hugged up against her chest. She's just sitting there watching the sunrise. I guess she's been here all night because she's wearing the same clothes. I walk over to her and drape the blanket over her shoulders and she's tense for a second but then calms down. I guess I should say something?
XANDER: Hey. Can I join you?
She doesn't respond to me at first so I get kind of embarrassed. I feel my cheeks redden. Maybe I shouldn't have came here.
ANYA: It's public property you know... you don't have to ask.
XANDER: Ya I know but it's polite to ask when someone's in deep thinking mode.
ANYA: H..How did you know to find me here?
XANDER: The British will do anything if someone knows a secret.
She sighs and I figure that at least I have her talking. Giles? He's a bad fellow I can tell you that right now.
ANYA: Never tell someone English something socially if he's old. Got it.
She smiles a bit and if I can recall this is the first time she's smiled in awhile since the Halfreck thing. Maybe it was a good idea to come after all.
XANDER: It's beautiful here. I understand why you come here.
ANYA: Yes it is. But there's more to the beauty I like. I can relate to it. The ocean I mean not the sun or sand the ocean and its waves that crush against each other.
That's the first time I've ever heard those words come out of her mouth. Gosh she sure can make her words flow.
XANDER: Ahn.. is this leading to anything or are you just rambling?
ANYA: If you would keep your mouth shut maybe I can get to my point. Now hold on you made me loose the moment.
She gives me that look that I can't stand and shuts her eyes. I guess she's trying to get back into the gentle mood.
ANYA: You know how the the ocean is beautiful on the outside but disasters and tragedies come with the beauty and you feel as if you can't breath or move. That's me I'm dangerous I shouldn't be allowed anyone. I hurt to many people.
XANDER: Ok first off you're being silly. Yes your beautiful but your not dangerous.
She looks up at me with those eyes of hers. I'm shocked to see tears brimming around her eyes.
ANYA: Then why? Why do I feel like this why do I cause pain and sorrow?
XANDER: Because that's what us mortals do.
I stoke her cheek and brush a piece of hair behind her ear.
XANDER: Baby. The love of my life. My everything. It's all right to feel like this just don't go do anything stupid. Ok?
ANYA: Xander?
I nod.
ANYA: Do you love me?
Oh god. How could she not know I love her with all my life? Have I treated her right. Is she going to get into the wedding thing. I didn't mean to leave her. I guess this is my chance.
XANDER: Of course I do. Look I didn't mean to leave you there. I was scared and ..
ANYA: A jackass?
I laugh.
XANDER: yes... I didn't want to hurt you.
ANYA: you couldn't have hurt me more then you did right there.
I'm shocked to here that, but I control my emotions and proceed I deserve whatever I get.
XANDER: The visions...
ANYA: Were fake!
She yells at me and stretches out her legs playing with the sand in her hands her mind racing.
ANYA: They were all fake.
She says it so soft I can barely make it out.
XANDER: They showed me killing you and being lazy and not giving any attention to our kids. I wanted you to have better.
ANYA: All I wanted to do is be with you.
XANDER: I know and I was such an idiot.
ANYA: you got that right.
XANDER: Can we try again?
ANYA: You mean have a decent relationship?
XANDER: Yes a perfect normal or as close to normal as it comes relationship.
She doesn't respond for awhile and I begin to worry. I can't go on without her knowing I hurt the one person I loved the most.
ANYA: Yes only one condition.
I'm shocked honestly. Everything is going to be all right. Once I here that one condition thing I become a little scared. Anya has a weird imagination.
XANDER: Anything.
ANYA: You always on my side on fights and argues and stick up for me. And I get the TV Saturday's.
No not the TV. Anything else I can handle. But the shows she watches are insane! A wedding story what the heck is that about? But I have a way for her to watch cartoons you'll see.
XANDER: ok I promise.
I lean over and kiss her. Anya guesses what comes next? You guessed it Wild monkey sex.