I've thought a lot about Maurice these past few days. I even went back to the store once to see if he was there. He wasn't of course, and I felt ridiculous for even looking. I can't seem to get him out of my head. Sometimes I wonder if Maurice and my dream are connected somehow. Bosco. My name is Boscorelli. When I was given my identity, they told me that I was the only surviving Boscorelli.

I'm taking Jamie over to the park today, he needs to get out of our small apartment and run around. He's wearing his new pants again. I've had to wash them every night because he insists on wearing them. "I look like Maurice mama!" he tells me repeatedly.

"Jamie? Are you ready to go?" I ask my son. He looks up at me, his blue eyes wide.

"We going to the park now?"

I nod and ruffle his hair. "Put on your shoes sweetie and we'll go."

Jamie hurries off and grabs his shoes which are set by the door. He puts his feet into them and walks over, barely managing not to trip over the laces, to get me to tie them up for him. "We're going to have to teach you how to tie your own shoes soon." I tell him and Jamie frowns.

"But I want you to do it mama." Jamie says.

"I can't tie your laces for you forever."

Jamie ponders that and then slowly nods. "Nope." he says finally and looks at me. "Let's go!"

I take Jamie's hand and we leave the apartment. As we pass by our neighbour's place, Fred pokes his head out and grins at me. "Good morning Faith." he says, looking me up and down.

Fred once invited Jamie and I over for dinner under the pretence of him wanting a playmate for Charlie and Emily. He sent the kids off to another room and then put his hand under my shirt. I slapped him and Jamie and I never set foot in that place again. When Emily babysits, she comes over to my house.

"Fred." I say, by way of a greeting, and nod.

"You two going out?" Fred directs that question more towards Jamie than me. He knows that I won't tell him where we're going.

"We're going to the park!" Jamie says excitedly. A small dark head appears from around Fred. "Charlie!" Jamie exclaims.

"Hi Jamie." Charlie says and I feel a slight flutter in my chest. The same feeling that I got from Maurice and Jamie's toy car. I've decided it's because, despite the fact that they have a terrible father, Charlie and Emily are both wonderful kids. I love them.

"Mama and I are going to the park." Jamie informs Charlie then he looks up at me. "Can Charlie come too?"

I look at Fred and see that he's staring at my chest. "Charlie's welcome to join us if he wants to." I tell him and Fred doesn't even look up as he mumbles something and nods his head.

"Put your shoes and jacket on Charlie. Jamie and I will be waiting outside." I need to get away from Fred.

Charlie nods, his cheeks flushed with excitement. His head disappears and I take Jamie's hand and we walk to the stairwell. "Don't let Charlie get into the water this time!" Fred calls after me and I sigh. Fred is convinced that I have no idea how to take care of his precious son.

_______________

"Do you guys want to play on the bars or look at the ducks first?"

"The ducks!" Both boys yell at me and we head towards the small pond with the ducks. Animals are very rare and we're lucky to have these ducks living in our city. I've heard that in Paris, they have swans. Beautiful white birds with long, graceful necks.

We reach the pond and Charlie and Jamie run towards the water's edge. "Be careful with him Charlie! Don't let him fall in!" I yell and Charlie grabs Jamie's hand and pulls him back from the edge.

"I see he's recovered from his ordeal." says a voice behind me. My chest tightens and I swallow hard. I know the voice. Turning around I see that it's Maurice.

"Hi." I manage to say.

"I'm Maurice, we met at the store the other day. I um, returned your son to you." Maurice says with a smile. He obviously thinks that I don't remember him.

"Yes, I remember." I say and wring my hands nervously. "It's nice to see you again."

"You too." Maurice says and gestures towards a small wooden bench. "Let's sit down." he says and seats himself. I also sit down, as far away from him as possible.

Charlie throws something at the ducks which excites them, they think it's food. "Don't tease them you two!" I yell at them and two faces look at me, suitably chagrined expressions on them.

"Is that your son as well?" Maurice asks, looking at Charlie.

"No, he's my neighbour's son. I take him to the park with us occasionally."

"Oh, he just kind of resembles you. I thought that..."

I shake my head. "No, Jamie's my only child."

Maurice nods. "Jamie. Is his name James then?"

I can tell that Maurice isn't sure what to say to me and I've never been good at small talk. "Did you really want to discuss my son Maurice?"

Maurice looks a bit shocked at my forwardness. It's something about me that tends to shock a lot of people. "No, I guess not." he replies. "I was hoping to run into you again Faith. This is probably going to sound really stupid, but after I met you the other day, I couldn't stop thinking about you."

That fluttery feeling is back again. I close my eyes and try to control my racing pulse. "Do you remember anything from Before?" I ask and then immediately wonder why I asked him that.

Maurice looks slightly taken aback. "No, no I don't remember anything. I haven't met anyone that does."

Before isn't something that most people like to talk about, most of them consider it taboo. The past is the past, they say, this is now. Why dwell on something that we don't remember?

"I don't either." I say, looking into his blue eyes. "I was just wondering."

"Is that how your normally start a conversation?" Maurice asks. "Asking someone if they remember Before?"

I chuckle slightly. "That would probably explain why I don't have many friends."

Maurice grins. "I wish I could meet more people like you." he says. "People that aren't afraid to talk of Before."

"I want to remember."

"Sometimes I think that I must have been someone important Before." Maurice says. "Someone that helped other people."

I nod and bite my bottom lip. "That sounds about right. You helped Jamie."

As if on cue Jamie appears in front of Maurice and I. "Maurice?" Jamie looks up at the two of us with uncertainty.

"Yeah buddy, it's me." Jamie's eyes widen and he pulls himself up onto Maurice's lap. "How are you doing?" Maurice asks my son, not caring that his lap has been taken over by a mass of wiggling four year old.

"I'm fine." Jamie says and pats his legs. "I have pants like yours."

Charlie is still by the water. He's kneeling down, trying to reach out and grab one of the ducks. That's how he fell in last time. "Charlie," I call over to him. "You'd better stand up before you fall in again!" Charlie turns his head to look at me and before he can react, the rock he's on tips over and neatly deposits him into the pond.

"Charlie fell in again!" Jamie squeals with delight. I stand up and run over to the boy. Fred is going to kill me this time.

I haul him out of the mucky water and Charlie looks up at me. "Sorry." he mutters and stalks off across the grass, his feet squishing in his shoes.

Maurice appears, with Jamie on his back. "I guess you're leaving now?" he says.

I nod. "Better get Charlie back home so he can change his clothes. His father is not going to be happy."

Jamie slaps his hands on Maurice's head. "Run!" Jamie commands and Maurice looks at me.

"You're welcome to come with us. If you don't have anything to do." I say. Having Maurice with me would certainly be a good deterrent for Fred, if he wants to try anything. And besides, Jamie looks as though he's on top of the world.

"Run!" Jamie yells again and this time nudges Maurice with his feet. Maurice puts his hands under my son's legs and they take off across the park. I run after them, laughing right along with Jamie.

_______________

"Nice place." Maurice looks around my small apartment. He sounds sincere but I think he's probably just being polite.

"It's not much." I say, "But for just Jamie and I, it's fine. He has his own bedroom, I sleep on the couch."

"You don't have a husband?" Maurice looks at me with surprise.

I shake my head. "No, I was found alone."

"Jamie was born After?"

"Yes, I was pregnant with it happened."

"You don't know who his father is?" Maurice looks down at Jamie who's studiously attempting to untie his own shoelaces.

"No." I don't want to say anything more.

"That must be hard." Maurice says. "For both you and him."

"It's the only life we've ever known." I reply and kneel down beside Jamie. "Sweetie, you're just tying the laces in knots. You have to pull the loose end and it will just come undone." Jamie ignores the shoe with the knots and moves onto the other one. He gives the lace a tug while I start working on the knots he created.

"I was found alone too." Maurice says. "I have no family."

"I only have Jamie."

"I only have mama!" Jamie says and with his shoes off, he stands up and grabs Maurice's hand. "Come see my room! I have some toys!"

"Toys? Wow, let's see them!" Maurice lets Jamie drag him down the hall and into his room.

I put Jamie's shoes away and hang up his jacket. Next door I can hear Fred yelling at Charlie for falling into the pond again. Jamie's excited voice floats down the hall and I smile. He obviously needed a father figure in his life.

A few minutes later, Maurice emerges from Jamie's room, carrying his small toy car in his hand. "This is a car." Maurice says to me. "What kind of car, do you know?"

I shake my head. "I don't know."

"NYPD." Maurice says, reading the letters from the side. "New York something. I feel as though I should know."

I look at him, my hands are trembling. "I do too." I say, my voice is barely above a whisper.

Maurice sets the car down and pushes it across the table. "Jamie's tired. I think he put himself to bed for a nap."

"He does that sometimes. Going to the park always tires him out a lot. Thank you for letting him ride on your back by the way, I used to let him do that, but he tends to kick me too much when he does that!"

Maurice sits down on the couch. "He kicked me too, but he's just a kid. I've been hurt much worse than a few bruises!"

"I have too. I have some scars." I tell him and think of the various scars that I have on my arms and legs. None of them look as though they were from a serious wound, but they have made me wonder what exactly I had done Before.

"I do too. A lot of scars actually." Maurice begins to unbutton his shirt.

"Oh, you don't have to do that." I say quickly, but Maurice continues with the buttons. He finishes and pulls his shirt open slightly. I look at his chest and feel my heartbeat quicken.

"Right here." Maurice says, running a finger over a puckered scar just below his right nipple. "This must have hurt when it happened."

I reach out and touch the scar lightly with the tip of my finger. "Does it hurt?"

"Sometimes I think it does, but I don't think it ever really hurts. It happened Before, so the memory of the pain is gone."

Maurice's chest is dusted with a light sprinkling of hair. I want to run my hands over it and my finger begins to wander. He's watching me and I yank my hand back and shove it under my thigh. He buttons his shirt up again and smiles. Jamie's smile. "I must have lived a dangerous life."

"A dangerous life helping other people." I say.

Maurice nods. "Where are your scars? Do they look like mine?"

I feel my face begin to redden and curse my pale complexion. "On my arms and legs mostly. They don't look like yours, they're mostly just straight lines, not puckered. They were probably just from cuts and scrapes. I don't know what could have caused yours."

"I don't know either, but I've often wondered." Maurice says and then clears his throat. "I'd better get going." he says. "I've taken up enough of your time."

"You're not a bother." I say, hoping that he will get the hint and stay.

"I have things that I want to do today." Maurice says. "But I know where you live now, so maybe I'll drop by some other time. To see Jamie."

"That would be nice, Jamie would love to see you again I'm sure. He'll be disappointed when he wakes up and you're gone."

Maurice stands up and walks over to the door where his shoes and jacket are. "I'll see you again Faith."

I nod and smile. "Soon, I hope."

"Soon." Maurice says and pulls open the door. He doesn't look back as he leaves.

________________

"Oh God, he's been shot! They shot him!" I cry out and fall to my knees.

The other men rush ahead of me, leaving me on the cold, black pavement. "We need a bus on the rush!" one of them calls out.

My tears continue to fall, running down my cheeks, splashing onto the ground. I want to get up and go to him, but my legs refuse to work.

"Faith?" I can feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up and through my tears, I can see a big man standing in front of me. His face is sad.

"Is he dead?" I ask, my voice cracking.

"No, but he's been shot in the chest. It doesn't look good."

"No." I whisper. "He's okay. He has to be." The hand on my shoulder begins to move, gently rubbing me. I try to shrug it off, but the hand refuses to leave me alone.

"Faith, he's strong."

"Bosco..."

My eyes snap open and I realize that I've been crying in my sleep. My face is wet with tears. "Bosco." I whisper. "Bosco was shot. In the chest."

I don't know what exactly it means to be shot, but Bosco was. In the chest. Maurice has a scar on his chest. I wipe the tears from my face and stand up. My heart is pounding, echoing in my ears. "Who are you Bosco?" I whisper and conjure up the image of Maurice in my head.

What if...no, that can't be possible. Maurice isn't Bosco because Bosco isn't real. Bosco is a figment of my imagination, he only exists in my dreams. But what if Maurice is Bosco and these dreams aren't just dreams. What if these dreams are memories from Before?