Bakura's Guide to Fighting...Dirty

By: Neko-chan



A/N: BAKURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Bakura: What do you _want_, onna?!

*glares and points to her youngest sister* Go. Kill. Send to the Shadow Realm. NOW! *stabs finger repeatedly in Channing's general direction* Kill. Now.

Bakura: *raises eyebrow* And why would I want to do that?

...x.x;;... Because every single time I'm at the computer, she plays Britney Spears ALL THE TIME. CJ is blasting it right now.

Bakura: ...B-Britney Spears?! *passes out from terror*

... *sighs* *plugs her ears and hopes the music will end soon*



Disclaimer: Neko-chan does not own Yu-Gi-Oh!. If she did, then Weevil would be dying a seriously bloody death early on in the first season. (Gomen nasai for any Weevil fans. I just _seriously_ dislike him. HE THREW AWAY EXODIA!!! *growls angrily*)



Have you ever noticed that teachers just never seem to _shut up_? They just go on and on and on and on, never seeming to end. They're like that Energizer Bunny that aibou thinks is so adorable! _Teachers_ are not adorable. _Teachers_ are not evil. _I_ am evil. ME! But _teachers_ are plagues. They are!

You know the whole plagues that Moses sends upon the pharaoh (too bad it wasn't that n Pharaoh...) in the Christain Bible? The water turning to blood was cool, though. The grasshoppers were _not_. Teachers are like those grasshoppers. They gobble up everything in sight and have no mercy. Sound familiar, kiddies?

Anyway, back to the subject. Have you noticed that the teachers that usually go on and on and on usually have a bottle of water with them? Ah, yes. _Now_ you can see where I'm going with this.

Have you ever gone to the beach, play in the ocean, and come out of the water with a raging thirst? It's the salt water that does that. Did you know that you can die of thirst at the ocean? (Everyone thinks that I'm stupid. Yes, I didn't go to school while I was alive, but I _do_ pay attention in Ryou's class. Knowledge is power, or so I've been told. And I like power.) It's the salt in the water that makes you so thirsty.

So, when the teacher isn't looking, you dump salt in their water bottle. As they talk, they'll get thirsty, and drink some of the water. And since you added the salt to their water, they'll become even thirstier. This, of course, becomes a cycle until finally they notice that something is wrong. Or, if you're lucky, the teacher _won't_ notice and they'll keel over and die from dehydration. Brilliant, if I do say so myself. Ne?

Another thing that I just can't stand about some teachers---their voices. Have you ever had a teacher that had the most nasal voice you've ever heard? Ryou's got one this year. And let me tell you, he's _very_ nasal. To top it off, he's also loud so the nasal pitch can get _very_ high...and piercing...and grating. Nothing could give me more pleasure than to rip out his voice box.

Eh. But, then again, he'd still be loud and annoying SOMEHOW.

The thing that you have to do with these types of teachers is to give them something to be loud and nasal _about_. A tack or nail on the floor that they "accidently" step on is a good one. A tack or nail on his or her chair is even _better_. (Their yelps of pain are music to my ears... D) And---

Hey, you! Yeah, I'm talking to _you_. Why aren't you taking notes on this, you stupid mortal?! I thought I told you to take notes on this!!! Stupid humans...

Another thing that seriously pisses me off--- Have you ever _seen_ some of their writing? It's unbelievably sloppy!!! You can barely even _read_ it!!! And then they have the nerve to complain about _our_ writing?! Hypocritical bastards...

When they start complaining about _your_ handwriting in a note home, you should send back the note saying this: F. Penmanship needs to be worked upon.

Next lesson, I'll be showing you what to DO against these stupid teachers. And--- DAMN YOU! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO WRITE F*CKING NOTES! WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME, YOU STUPID HUMAN?!

*clears throat* Anyway, starting next lesson, we'll be going over what to do against these plagues upon the earth. And you BETTER BE TAKING NOTES!!



A/N: *coughs* Um, yeah, Bakura.

Bakura: *glares* NANI?

I think that the next chapter is going to be very sadistic. Am I right?

Bakura: ^___________________^

... *sweatdrops* I think that's yes. So, read, review, and the next chapter you'll be instructed in what to do against those *coughs*damn*coughs* teachers. So, see ya next time! ^_~

Bakura: *snorts* I do all the work and you get all the damn reviews. You parasite.

... *BONKS* ...