Disclaimer: Characters all belong to me…ummm put that in the negative hmmm?
A.N.: Suspend disbelief it's Snape and Malfoy, somewhere, somewhere in a field in Hampshire, alright…
Tails
The mop in his hands slapped wetly against the floor. He twisted it quickly and slid it sawing backwards and forwards across the tiles, pushing it roughly under the tables. As it began to dry he plonked it back in the bucket, wringing it out easily against the side as he began the sequence over again.
The café was dark, it was almost twelve and he had turned out all the lights apart from the one at the back. He had almost finished the floor when he heard a tapping on the window, he didn't turn around; he simply pointed past his shoulder at the closed sign. The knocking continued. Sighing he dropped the broom and walked over to the glass. It was only when he could make out the pale hair and features of the man behind the window that he stopped, and suddenly, unexpectedly his face broke into a quick small smile. He pulled back the bolt and opened the door.
Lucius Malfoy, robes swirling walked in and sat down on one of the slightly stained tables. To anyone passing he would have looked completely incongruous in his fine clothes in the grubby café, but nobody passed. Malfoy looked the man who had let him in up and down for a long moment before speaking.
"Hello Severus." His voice was soft.
"Lucius." Severus Snape stood before him, hands in the pockets of his black jeans. He looked slightly thinner than Lucius had remembered, and for a moment they both seemed uncomfortable until Lucius slowly stood up, extended his hand and felt Snape's cool grip in return.
A quick smile flashed across Malfoy's features. "Severus Snape, you know I almost missed you."
"If I didn't know better Malfoy I'd say old age has made you soft."
"If I didn't know better so would I." He closed his eyes for a few seconds and Snape could tell that he had been strained, that the four years they had spent apart hadn't changed his friend, and he felt suddenly happier than he had in a long while.
"Well, I have to say when I came back to England I didn't think I would find you in a place like this." Malfoy was looking around the dingy café; he couldn't keep a wave of distaste, or possibly sadness, from his face. "Oh Snape, what on earth are you doing?"
Snape looked at him for a moment, he weighed up a flippant and a serious answer in his mind, but he was unable to decide which he should use, so he sat down carefully on one of the cracked plastic chairs by the table and shrugged.
"Does it matter?" Lucius didn't look at him as he spoke - his eyes were on the tiles and the pools of water - which were drying slowly.
"Yeah, it matters." He flicked his wand from his sleeve and pointed it at Snape's face. "Where's yours?"
Snape's eyes were on the tip of the wand but his voice was expressionless. "It's at home."
He watched as Malfoy placed his wand on the table, his pale face was hard to read but Snape could tell that he was unable to comprehend the scene before his eyes. He could emphasise with that feeling, he could remember when he had first seen the place, but that was two years ago and now it had almost become part of him, now the years at Hogwarts seemed further away and less real to him than the chipped and cracking tables, the coffee stains and the smell of soap and water.
"Listen Severus. I know I haven't been around for the past few years, but honestly when you wrote and told me you were living like a, well like a muggle, I uh, I didn't think it was quite like this. I mean damn it Severus, you were the best in your year, you could have gotten a great job, every potion brewer in the country would have wanted to hire you, I thought at least you'd be working for a ummm," He paused, "You know one of those muggle things, I don't know, a company. Chemicals or whatever it is they do, but here? This place is terrible Severus, what the hell do you want to work here for? I don't understand." He wiped his hand across his face, his features were slightly puzzled, almost concerned.
"Well this was my choice Lucius. You made your choice. I made mine."
"There were a hundred other choices that would have been better than this."
"If you recall Lucius, we didn't exactly have the same options, you and I." Snape seemed to be choosing his words carefully.
"I would have given you the money."
"It's not about money Lucius, if I'd wanted what you had I'd have worked for it, I didn't want it though, bloody magic, I said goodbye to all that."
"You're a wizard, you can't just leave it all behind."
"Why not? That's what I want."
"Why would you want to?"
"Why?" Snape looked at him his eyes darkened, Lucius was surprised to remember exactly how cool and black they were, without thinking he reached out and touched Snape's shoulder for a moment. He drew back his hand as suddenly as he had put it out, and Snape's eyes flicked away, but his voice when he spoke again was slightly more open. "I just was tired, the way things were. I mean school and everything, we always hated it, but it was worse at the end. After, well I wanted to get as far away as I could, and this, this is pretty far. I know that not one of them would ever walk in here, not unless they came looking for me, and nobody has. Until now."
They were both silent for a moment. Snape drummed his fingers on the tabletop; it had been easy enough to condition himself against thinking of the school and the past but now, faced with Malfoy it all came flooding back. He picked up Malfoy's wand and spun it round his fingers.
"It wasn't the same when you left. Don't get me wrong, the others were okay, Lestrange, de Mandeville, Rosier, nice but not the same."
"So what was it?"
"Shit, it was everything... I don't know why. All I know is I don't ever want to see them again."
"Who?"
"Any of them." He spat the words out. "The teachers, the students, even the Slytherins, I don't give a damn what happens to them, I don't care if they all rot."
Lucius looked at him, he opened and shut his mouth. "I don't remember it being that bad. What about house loyalty?"
"Oh the house was alright, just ours though, not the others. Well you weren't there for the last two years. You were off studying whatever the hell it was in Prague. You'd graduated. Of course it was alright for you." His voice was still quiet but it had taken on a bitter angry edge. "It wasn't that much fun though."
Snape stood up; he walked over to the mop and picked it up. He emptied the bucket in a sink behind the counter, and he got a cloth and began wiping down the counter; only the violent motions of his arms expressed his disquiet.
"You never told me what happened, I mean I know you had some trouble with Potter and his gang... but it's more than that."
"Yeah, well I always hated them. Potter and Black, Pettigrew and Lupin." He spat out the last name and Lucius looked surprised.
"Lupin? I thought he was the inoffensive one."
"Inoffensive?" Snape gave a hollow laugh, "He almost killed me. He's a..." but he stopped suddenly, he bent down to empty the bin behind the counter and Lucius couldn't see his face.
"What do you mean he almost killed you? What is he?"
"Nothing, it was Black really, but he was in on it, they all were, anyway, I'm still alive. They barely even got punished." He wrung the cloth out and came back round to face Lucius. "Ironic really. I almost die and Potter was still made head boy, Lupin was still a prefect. I wasn't anything. You know why? Because I'm a bloody Slytherin, simple isn't it? When they get in fights it's because they're honourable courageous little twats, but I'm a sly duplicitous bastard. I came top of the school and all they cared about was the fucking quidditch team." Snape's face did not disclose any emotion. "I worked Lucius, I mean I wanted to be the best, it wasn't always easy but nobody ever noticed, all they saw was Potter catching the snitch."
"You should have written to me."
"Why? I didn't have anything to tell you, it wasn't like I ever achieved anything, they were so damn popular and I wasn't anything."
"You were still top though, that counts for something."
"Yeah? Well it wasn't enough for me." He wiped his hair from his eyes, Lucius was watching him intently, he seemed to be calculating something.
"I'm sorry Severus. I should have come back. I would have if I'd known. I wish you'd told me."
"There would have been no point, you couldn't have done anything. You know how it is."
"I would have come back though. You're my best friend. I never cared about any of the others, not really. You were different. I will make it up to you Severus, I have big plans, you'll see. I promise I'll make up for it." Snape was staring at him now.
"It doesn't mater Lucius, it's all in the past."
"I hate that school too, I know you hated Potter, there were people I hated as well, you can't really avoid that in school. But I hate the teachers the most. I can't understand why they'd let someone like you suffer. I mean just because of Slytherin? We weren't bad - not that bad, I can't believe they turned you into this." His voice was so sad that Snape looked at him surprised. "You know there are other things in the world Snape. I don't want you to get stuck here. You're too intelligent for that. I wanted to see you; it's been so damn long. I have stuff to tell you. Lots of stuff."
"Really? Well why don't you walk back with me, and you can tell me all this stuff."
The night was dark. Snape had locked the door and pocketed the key while Lucius looked on curiously. It was cool outside, the night smelt musty and the streets were quiet. Bits of litter got caught up in the breeze and drifted across their path.
"If I didn't know, I'd think you were a muggle for sure." It was impossible to tell whether Lucius admired this or was distressed by it. Snape nodded
"That's the idea."
He walked fast and Lucius had to struggle to keep up, his hands were shoved in his pockets, and it was hard for Lucius not to stare at him, not to try and remember Snape the way he had been at school.
They had reached a large apartment block, Lucius had no idea where it was, he was unfamiliar with this part of London, or indeed with any part that did not revolve around Diagon alley. He was however aware that it wasn't somewhere where he would like to live. The outside walls were grimy, a couple of the downstairs windows had cardboard over them where the glass had been smashed, and a dull yellow glow came from the glass panel in the side door which Snape approached and opened. He turned round to look at Lucius, a slight sneer played around his features. "Not up to sir's usual standards?" Lucius looked at him, gave a short laugh and followed him down the corridor. They climbed three flights of stairs and walked down another corridor before Snape stopped outside a door. He muttered something quietly and the door swung open revealing a narrow long room. A faint orange glow permeated from the streetlight outside, it was barely visible in the hazy light.
"Sit down." Snape pointed at the bed. He snapped a switch on the wall and the room was suddenly lit up, it seemed very bare, almost barren to Lucius, the bed was stretched beneath the window, there was a small set of shelves beside the bed, they were stacked with paperback novels and bottles, at the other end of the room was a cupboard, next to the cupboard was a chipped white sink. There were no chairs, not even a table. Snape seemed to be enjoying Lucius' reaction.
"Drink?" Lucius took the offered bottle and unscrewed the lid, he swallowed, the liquid caught in his throat and he coughed. Snape looked at him and shook his head - he tipped the bottle back and gulped. Lucius wiped his eyes.
"So what did you have to tell me?"
"I want you to get out of this place. I can get you a job; I can get you a good job with my father. This isn't any kind of life Snape, this isn't even living."
"Muggles manage."
"That isn't the point, you could do better."
"Well I don't think your father would want to give me a job, wasn't that why he packed you off to university? To get you as far away as possible, so you wouldn't see me? I seem to recall he had some theory about history repeating itself or something."
"Yeah, well maybe I don't care what my father says now. I should have come back years ago. He'll give you a job all right. There are things I've learnt about my father while I've been away." Snape gave him a questioning look but said nothing for a long moment.
"I don't think you understand Lucius. I don't want to go back, I like it here, and I don't suppose I'll ever really belong anywhere else. I am this way, I was born like this."
"Maybe it doesn't matter where you were born, it's what you make of yourself that counts. If you let people like Potter decide your destiny then they've won." He suddenly grabbed the bottle from Snape's hand and took a long draught. "You were my best friend, I won't let you give up like this. You can still be better than them."
"You know Lucius, you know who I am. All that effort, that was just stupid, that was for nothing. I didn't know anything. You've been away too long, sure I liked to think that things would change, but they don't."
"There are other things out there." Lucius looked at him, his voice was very low, almost dangerous sounding and he and Snape looked at each other, neither moving.
"Listen Severus, while I was in Prague I joined this club, well it was more like a secret society, the leader was a professor at the university, and the club was dedicated to the dark arts. Not defence, practise. This guy knows everything - he's the genuine article. I know one when I see one. I learnt a lot. More than we ever did at Hogwarts, that was like kids playing around, anyway this professor, he's called Duligal, well he asked me to join," Lucius suddenly lowered his voice even further, "he asked me to join the death eaters."
Snape was watching him carefully. "What did you say?"
"I said I'd think about it, he asked me if I knew anyone else who might be interested. I thought of you."
Snape shut his eyes. It had been impossible even for him to ignore the rise of the death eaters, even while he'd been at Hogwarts there had been whispers and rumours, nothing concrete had really started happening until recently though, there had been a few attacks when the ministry of magic refused to grant Voldemort certain concessions. 'Action, not words' was the header in the back lane rag that covered this kind of thing. Some of the articles were very persuasive. He looked at Lucius,
"Do you want to join then?" Lucius exhaled slowly.
"Well I know I'm bloody sick of things the way they are. I'm tired of going nowhere, living like this – always the same. At least Voldemort has some ideas - at least he has a bloody direction. The ministry they sit around and they talk and they bloody talk but they never achieve anything."
"He's not exactly rational though is he, our Mr Voldemort?"
"Who is? You think Dumbledore's rational with his bloody jellybeans and barley sugars? I'll tell you what's bloody irrational, you wasting your whole bloody life away because of other people. You might not be able to change the past, but at least we could do something about the future. I wasn't sure about it until I saw you, but now I am."
"I've inspired you to terrorism." Snape gave a quick smile.
"Yeah well if it wasn't for the hierarchy in the damn ministry maybe things would be different, maybe I don't understand all the issues at stake, but one thing I know is they've treated Slytherin as second class for years, at least now we have a chance."
"Yes, but his policies are all over the place, he says pure blood families should have more rights with one breath then claims that werewolves are equal citizens."
"Isn't that as ridiculous as the ministry making all these laws to protect half bloods and then saying that werewolves should be shot?" Lucius gave him a triumphant look. "Besides he's taking on the ministry of course you want to get people on your side, everyone says a lot of things, doesn't mean they actually believe them all."
"Perhaps." Snape took another sip of the whisky and looked down at his hands. "Of course then you don't know which ones he does mean do you Malfoy?"
"Maybe, but what else are we going to do? We'll be bloody old and going nowhere like them soon enough. There's plenty of time for a nice safe ministry career in a few years time, but you sure as hell won't change anything there."
"Well, well, I don't know what your father would say about all this, appears his little plan for keeping you safe has backfired somewhat."
"Ha, I know, he'd be bloody livid. Why would I listen to him though, he never achieved anything, all he does is moan about the bloody past."
"Yeah, that's all they ever do. 'Not a witch or a wizard who ever went bad that wasn't in Slytherin…'" They both smiled.
"So shall we join?"
"Perhaps Mr Malfoy your eloquent arguments have persuaded me. I would after all hate to say that I lost out to a bunch of Gryffindors."
"Yeah, well you better be sure. I don't want you getting all bitter and blaming me if this Voldemort guy turns out to be a nut."
"Oh I don't think he's a nut, I think he knows exactly what he wants, he's just not showing his hand. I've never known what I wanted, so why not this?"
"Well my friend, I'll set the wheels in motion. Hey Snape?"
"What?"
"I'm glad I came back, it's good to see you." He smiled like a small child, and Snape shook his head slightly.
"Whatever."