Disclaimer: Katie: Neo-Queen Terra of Crystal Tokyo doesn't own Daria, Dragonball Z, and MTV which means she doesn't write for any of them.
Terra: That's why MTV keeps kicking me out.
Katie: Did someone hit you with a stupid stick when you were born?
Terra: Do not talk to me like that! I made you and I can break you.
Katie: You can't do that, I'm one of the main characters.
Terra: Do I have to remind you that this is a soap opera and I can kill you off if I wanted to?
Katie: Oh yeah! (sucking up) You are the best fan-fic writer ever.
Terra: I know I am.
center"Daria: The 7th Season"
Episode Three
"Pranks"
The opening theme
"It Wasn't Me"
Sung by. Shaggy
Honey came in and she caught me red-handed
Creeping with the girl next door
Picture this we were both butt-naked
Banging on the bathroom floor
How could I forget
That I had given her an extra key
All this time she was standing there
She never took her eyes off me/center
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene One
Sloane's Bedroom
(Daria and Tom are sleeping in the bed. Then, Wind and Katie walks in wearing all black. Wind is holding a big bag.)
Katie: (whispering) Go to the bathroom and take Tom's mouthwash and put this in it. (Takes a plastic bag with some pills in it) Got it?
Wind: (whispering) Yeah.
(Wind leaves and Katie goes to Tom's side of the bed and goes to the alarm clock and unplugs it and then, plugs it back in. Sets it to 1:00. Wind comes back.)
Katie: (still whispering) Get the shaving cream from the bag and the feather.
(Wind digs through the bag and get the shaving cream and the feather and hands it to Katie)
Katie: (still whispering) Now get the cup and fill it with warm water.
Wind: (a little above whispering) Okay.
(Wind leaves and Katie put the shaving cream in Tom's hands and tickles his face with the feather. Then, Tom slap the place the feather is and soon there was shaving cream all over his face. Wind comes back with the water. Katie puts it in on the night stand and put Tom's hand in it.)
Katie: (whispering) We're done here, lets go.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene Two
MTV's Conference Room
(Trent is sleeping in his chair with his feet on the table. Two other people are in the room.)
Napalm: Trent, wake up.
Trent: What?
Terra: Trent, that is the fifth time you fallen asleep, it's like you don't think this is important.
Trent: What's important?
Napalm: Flossing. But that's a different story.
Terra: (slowly, pronouncing each symbol slowly) We are deciding to move the show to a different place.
Trent: What place?
Terra: (getting annoyed) Your hometown.
Trent: I have a hometown.
Terra: (mad) Lawndale. Your hometown is Lawndale. Lawndale. Can you get that through your little head? (walks out mad)
Trent: Is she like that all the time.
Napalm: Its worst. Try living near her.
Trent: You near her?
Napalm: She is my sister.
Terra: (yelling for another room) You're my cousin's uncle's niece's mother's brother's roommate.
Trent: She sounds like my wife.
Napalm: If I had feelings, I feel sorry for you, but I don't.
(David Sorenson walks in) (Watch Daria: Is It Fall Yet? to find out who he is)
David: Napalm, The Schedule Monkey want to see you in his office.
Napalm: He decide to tell me before he replace my show with Real World?
David: I don't know, why. Trent, you're wanted at on line 2.
Trent: Thanks. You remind me of somebody.
David: People say I look like Carson.
Trent: No. You remind me of the that producer, David.
David: That's me.
Trent: Oh yeah!
David: Are you on something?
Trent: On what?
David: Never mind. Got to go.
(David leaves. Trent picks up the phone)
Trent: Trent here.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene Three
Lane's Kitchen
(Katie is sitting on the chair and Quinn is walking back and forth)
Katie: It wasn't me. Honest.
Quinn: (stops and look at Katie) Like I'll believe that.
Katie: Why would I want to waste my time to do pranks on my dear Uncle Tom?
Quinn: This is the 4th time this month.
Katie: But this time it wasn't me.
Quinn: And it wasn't you the last three times either.
Katie: Yeah!
Quinn: Katie.
Katie: But Mom!
Quinn: Katie Lane, you're grounded. No going out, no playing with Wind, no computer, and no Dragonball Z for a week.
Katie: NNNNNNNNNNoooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (on her knees begging) Please I beg of you please don't take Dragonball Z away from me. I will do anything. I will clean the mess I made at Uncle Tom's, I will do the dishes, I will clean your room, organize everything, but please don't take away Dragonball Z. PPPPPPPllllllllleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaasssssssseeeeeeeeee.
Quinn: It's only a cartoon.
Katie: Only a cartoon, only a cartoon! It's not only a cartoon, it's the greatest show ever.
Quinn: It's not.
Katie: Why don't you just ripe out my heart and serve it to me on a golden platter?
Quinn: Are you being little over dramatic?
Katie: I will die if I don't see Dragonball Z for a week. Just die. (grabs her chest and falls to the ground)
(Jane walks in)
Jane: She can't watch DBZ for a week. Right.
Katie: (still on the ground with her left hand up) Elizabeth, I'm coming to see you. (stops moving and acts dead)
Quinn: Katie get off the floor.
Katie: Not until I get to watch DBZ.
Jane: I taped them for you.
Katie: It's not the same. I got to watch it everyday I can, besides I saw these episodes already.
Quinn: So, what's the problem?
Katie: I need to help Wind. He is not ready to watch it all alone yet. He needs help. He is like a baby in the world of Dragonball Z. He's not ready to go out in the world alone, yet.
Quinn: Yeah right.
Katie: I'm not lying.
Jane: Give it up you will never win, Katie.
Katie: All right, I give up DBZ but only for a week.
Jane: I bet you can't last a day.
Katie: Why don't put your money where your mouth is?
Jane: I think I will. I will give you 10 bucks for a week.
Katie: 20.
Jane: You're that sure about yourself, lets make it 50.
Katie: Fine with me.
Quinn: Katie, you can't bet on this.
Katie: Great! Now I can't bet on stuff. Why don't make me live with Uncle Tom or your parents?
Jane: Don't give her ideas.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene Four
Sloane's Living Room
(Daria is on the couch looking out a letter. Tom walks in)
Tom: Hi, honey. Anything new?
Daria: I got big news.
Tom: What?
Daria: I don't know how to say this.
Tom: You didn't break the law or anything like that.
Daria: No, but...
Tom: Just tell me.
Daria: I'm pregnant.
Tom: (excited) You're pregnant. I'm going to be a father. This is great.
Daria: (shocked) You are excited!
Tom: Yeah!
Daria: I don't know what to say.
Tom: I need to call everyone.
Daria: I don't what nobody to know just yet. I want to wait a month or so.
Tom: Okay.
Daria: You're going to be late for work.
Tom: Yeah! I need to go. (kiss Daria on the cheek)
Daria: Bye, honey.
Tom: Bye.
(Tom leaves. Daria pick up the phone and dial a number)
Upchuck on the other end: Upchuck's House of Love.
Daria: Hey, Upchuck. It's me, Daria.
Upchuck: Hello, my love goddess.
Daria: I got some news I need to tell you.
Upchuck: Yes, my most feistiest lady. (grrrr)
Daria: I'm pregnant.
Upchuck: So. It's Tom's, right.
Daria: I don't know. It maybe yours.
Upchuck: What do you mean?
Daria: I mean this baby could be yours.
Upchuck: That's not good.
Daria: I can't see you anymore. I think this baby can help my marriage.
Upchuck: It's fine with me, but hear this. You will find nobody like me.
Daria: I know that. I got to go. Bye (Daria hangs up)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene Five
Katie's Bedroom
(Katie is on the bed. Wind walks in)
Wind: What's wrong?
Katie: I'm in trouble for what we did this morning and now I can't watch DBZ.
Wind: I feel sorry for you.
Katie: I wish I can be with my dad. Wait I can. Oh Wind do you have a credit card?
Wind: Yeah. Why?
Katie: I need to borrow it.
Wind: For what?
Katie: A one way trip to New York.
Wind: Why are you going there?
Katie: My daddy called me and ask me to go there to see him and I need you to take me to the airport and buy the ticket because he is too busy to do it and my mommy is busy to.
Wind: Okay.
Katie: Let go now, I'm all packed.
Wind: Okay!
(Katie picks up a little suitcase and a backpack and she and Wind go to the Wind's car and gets in)
Katie: Can I turn on some music?
Wind: Sure.
(Katie turn on the radio and N'Sync is playing)
Katie: How can you listen to this stuff? It's too cheery.
(Katie turn the dial and rock music begin to play)
Katie: This is what I'm talking about.
Wind: I prefer Britany Spears.
Katie: Don't say that name. It's evil.
Wind: What Britany...
Katie: (holds her ear) Lalalalalalalalalala. I not hearing you.
Wind: Okay.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene Six
MTV's Lobby
(Katie walks in and goes to the counter where a woman is sitting behind.)
Katie: Excuse me. I'm here to see Trent Lane.
Woman: Where're your parents little girl?
Katie: Trent is my father.
Woman: And I'm the Queen of England.
Katie: (sarcasm) You are. I always wanted to meet you. If you just let me through.
Woman: Nice try.
(David walks in from the elevator)
David: Those two girls are coming in, Carson invited up.
Katie: My dad is waiting for me.
Woman: If Trent was your dad, you would know that he is going home.
Katie: He's in Lawndale?
David: How did you know Trent lives in Lawndale?
Katie: I'm his daughter, Katie.
David: You are Katie, then why are you doing here?
Katie: I came to surprise my daddy.
David: Let me take you upstairs so we can talk in private and you can call your mother.
Katie: Okay.
(David leads Katie upstairs. Then a guy runs up)
The Guy: David, you are wanted on the set.
David: Okay. Be there in a minute.
The Guy: Okay.
(The guy leaves)
David: You can stay in here.
(Takes Katie in the green room. And Britany Spears is sitting on the couch.)
Katie: (turns her head and makes a x with her fingers over Britany) Evil. Evil.
David: You have to stay here until I come back.
Katie: Please don't make me stay here with her.
David: It will be okay.
(David leaves)
Britany: Hi, I'm Britany Spears.
Katie: NNNNNNNNNooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Starring (In alphabetical order)
Jane-------------------------------------------------------------------Jane Lane
Katie-------------------------Katie Lane (We finally found out what her name is)
Trent-----------------------------------------------------------------Trent Lane
Wind------------------------------------------------------------------ Wind Lane
Daria-------------------------------------------------------Jennifer Love-Hewitt
Quinn--------------------------------------------------------Quinn Morgendorffer
Upchuck--------------------------------------------------Charles Ruttherimer III
Tom-------------------------------------------------------------------Tom Sloane
Guest Starring (In alphabetical order)
Napalm Krigbaum--------------------------------------------------Napalm Krigbaum
David Sorenson----------------------------------------------------David Sorenson
Britany Spears----------------------------------------------------Britany Spears
Neo-Queen Terra of Crystal Tokyo----------------Neo-Queen Terra of Crystal Tokyo
The Guy----------------------------------------------------------Some Guy at MTV
Woman----------------------------------------------------------Some Woman at MTV
Writer------------------------------------------Neo-Queen Terra of Crystal Tokyo
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Schedule Monkey is Napalm Krigbaum's character, so you can't use him with out his permission.
Terra: That's why MTV keeps kicking me out.
Katie: Did someone hit you with a stupid stick when you were born?
Terra: Do not talk to me like that! I made you and I can break you.
Katie: You can't do that, I'm one of the main characters.
Terra: Do I have to remind you that this is a soap opera and I can kill you off if I wanted to?
Katie: Oh yeah! (sucking up) You are the best fan-fic writer ever.
Terra: I know I am.
center"Daria: The 7th Season"
Episode Three
"Pranks"
The opening theme
"It Wasn't Me"
Sung by. Shaggy
Honey came in and she caught me red-handed
Creeping with the girl next door
Picture this we were both butt-naked
Banging on the bathroom floor
How could I forget
That I had given her an extra key
All this time she was standing there
She never took her eyes off me/center
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene One
Sloane's Bedroom
(Daria and Tom are sleeping in the bed. Then, Wind and Katie walks in wearing all black. Wind is holding a big bag.)
Katie: (whispering) Go to the bathroom and take Tom's mouthwash and put this in it. (Takes a plastic bag with some pills in it) Got it?
Wind: (whispering) Yeah.
(Wind leaves and Katie goes to Tom's side of the bed and goes to the alarm clock and unplugs it and then, plugs it back in. Sets it to 1:00. Wind comes back.)
Katie: (still whispering) Get the shaving cream from the bag and the feather.
(Wind digs through the bag and get the shaving cream and the feather and hands it to Katie)
Katie: (still whispering) Now get the cup and fill it with warm water.
Wind: (a little above whispering) Okay.
(Wind leaves and Katie put the shaving cream in Tom's hands and tickles his face with the feather. Then, Tom slap the place the feather is and soon there was shaving cream all over his face. Wind comes back with the water. Katie puts it in on the night stand and put Tom's hand in it.)
Katie: (whispering) We're done here, lets go.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene Two
MTV's Conference Room
(Trent is sleeping in his chair with his feet on the table. Two other people are in the room.)
Napalm: Trent, wake up.
Trent: What?
Terra: Trent, that is the fifth time you fallen asleep, it's like you don't think this is important.
Trent: What's important?
Napalm: Flossing. But that's a different story.
Terra: (slowly, pronouncing each symbol slowly) We are deciding to move the show to a different place.
Trent: What place?
Terra: (getting annoyed) Your hometown.
Trent: I have a hometown.
Terra: (mad) Lawndale. Your hometown is Lawndale. Lawndale. Can you get that through your little head? (walks out mad)
Trent: Is she like that all the time.
Napalm: Its worst. Try living near her.
Trent: You near her?
Napalm: She is my sister.
Terra: (yelling for another room) You're my cousin's uncle's niece's mother's brother's roommate.
Trent: She sounds like my wife.
Napalm: If I had feelings, I feel sorry for you, but I don't.
(David Sorenson walks in) (Watch Daria: Is It Fall Yet? to find out who he is)
David: Napalm, The Schedule Monkey want to see you in his office.
Napalm: He decide to tell me before he replace my show with Real World?
David: I don't know, why. Trent, you're wanted at on line 2.
Trent: Thanks. You remind me of somebody.
David: People say I look like Carson.
Trent: No. You remind me of the that producer, David.
David: That's me.
Trent: Oh yeah!
David: Are you on something?
Trent: On what?
David: Never mind. Got to go.
(David leaves. Trent picks up the phone)
Trent: Trent here.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene Three
Lane's Kitchen
(Katie is sitting on the chair and Quinn is walking back and forth)
Katie: It wasn't me. Honest.
Quinn: (stops and look at Katie) Like I'll believe that.
Katie: Why would I want to waste my time to do pranks on my dear Uncle Tom?
Quinn: This is the 4th time this month.
Katie: But this time it wasn't me.
Quinn: And it wasn't you the last three times either.
Katie: Yeah!
Quinn: Katie.
Katie: But Mom!
Quinn: Katie Lane, you're grounded. No going out, no playing with Wind, no computer, and no Dragonball Z for a week.
Katie: NNNNNNNNNNoooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (on her knees begging) Please I beg of you please don't take Dragonball Z away from me. I will do anything. I will clean the mess I made at Uncle Tom's, I will do the dishes, I will clean your room, organize everything, but please don't take away Dragonball Z. PPPPPPPllllllllleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaasssssssseeeeeeeeee.
Quinn: It's only a cartoon.
Katie: Only a cartoon, only a cartoon! It's not only a cartoon, it's the greatest show ever.
Quinn: It's not.
Katie: Why don't you just ripe out my heart and serve it to me on a golden platter?
Quinn: Are you being little over dramatic?
Katie: I will die if I don't see Dragonball Z for a week. Just die. (grabs her chest and falls to the ground)
(Jane walks in)
Jane: She can't watch DBZ for a week. Right.
Katie: (still on the ground with her left hand up) Elizabeth, I'm coming to see you. (stops moving and acts dead)
Quinn: Katie get off the floor.
Katie: Not until I get to watch DBZ.
Jane: I taped them for you.
Katie: It's not the same. I got to watch it everyday I can, besides I saw these episodes already.
Quinn: So, what's the problem?
Katie: I need to help Wind. He is not ready to watch it all alone yet. He needs help. He is like a baby in the world of Dragonball Z. He's not ready to go out in the world alone, yet.
Quinn: Yeah right.
Katie: I'm not lying.
Jane: Give it up you will never win, Katie.
Katie: All right, I give up DBZ but only for a week.
Jane: I bet you can't last a day.
Katie: Why don't put your money where your mouth is?
Jane: I think I will. I will give you 10 bucks for a week.
Katie: 20.
Jane: You're that sure about yourself, lets make it 50.
Katie: Fine with me.
Quinn: Katie, you can't bet on this.
Katie: Great! Now I can't bet on stuff. Why don't make me live with Uncle Tom or your parents?
Jane: Don't give her ideas.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene Four
Sloane's Living Room
(Daria is on the couch looking out a letter. Tom walks in)
Tom: Hi, honey. Anything new?
Daria: I got big news.
Tom: What?
Daria: I don't know how to say this.
Tom: You didn't break the law or anything like that.
Daria: No, but...
Tom: Just tell me.
Daria: I'm pregnant.
Tom: (excited) You're pregnant. I'm going to be a father. This is great.
Daria: (shocked) You are excited!
Tom: Yeah!
Daria: I don't know what to say.
Tom: I need to call everyone.
Daria: I don't what nobody to know just yet. I want to wait a month or so.
Tom: Okay.
Daria: You're going to be late for work.
Tom: Yeah! I need to go. (kiss Daria on the cheek)
Daria: Bye, honey.
Tom: Bye.
(Tom leaves. Daria pick up the phone and dial a number)
Upchuck on the other end: Upchuck's House of Love.
Daria: Hey, Upchuck. It's me, Daria.
Upchuck: Hello, my love goddess.
Daria: I got some news I need to tell you.
Upchuck: Yes, my most feistiest lady. (grrrr)
Daria: I'm pregnant.
Upchuck: So. It's Tom's, right.
Daria: I don't know. It maybe yours.
Upchuck: What do you mean?
Daria: I mean this baby could be yours.
Upchuck: That's not good.
Daria: I can't see you anymore. I think this baby can help my marriage.
Upchuck: It's fine with me, but hear this. You will find nobody like me.
Daria: I know that. I got to go. Bye (Daria hangs up)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene Five
Katie's Bedroom
(Katie is on the bed. Wind walks in)
Wind: What's wrong?
Katie: I'm in trouble for what we did this morning and now I can't watch DBZ.
Wind: I feel sorry for you.
Katie: I wish I can be with my dad. Wait I can. Oh Wind do you have a credit card?
Wind: Yeah. Why?
Katie: I need to borrow it.
Wind: For what?
Katie: A one way trip to New York.
Wind: Why are you going there?
Katie: My daddy called me and ask me to go there to see him and I need you to take me to the airport and buy the ticket because he is too busy to do it and my mommy is busy to.
Wind: Okay.
Katie: Let go now, I'm all packed.
Wind: Okay!
(Katie picks up a little suitcase and a backpack and she and Wind go to the Wind's car and gets in)
Katie: Can I turn on some music?
Wind: Sure.
(Katie turn on the radio and N'Sync is playing)
Katie: How can you listen to this stuff? It's too cheery.
(Katie turn the dial and rock music begin to play)
Katie: This is what I'm talking about.
Wind: I prefer Britany Spears.
Katie: Don't say that name. It's evil.
Wind: What Britany...
Katie: (holds her ear) Lalalalalalalalalala. I not hearing you.
Wind: Okay.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene Six
MTV's Lobby
(Katie walks in and goes to the counter where a woman is sitting behind.)
Katie: Excuse me. I'm here to see Trent Lane.
Woman: Where're your parents little girl?
Katie: Trent is my father.
Woman: And I'm the Queen of England.
Katie: (sarcasm) You are. I always wanted to meet you. If you just let me through.
Woman: Nice try.
(David walks in from the elevator)
David: Those two girls are coming in, Carson invited up.
Katie: My dad is waiting for me.
Woman: If Trent was your dad, you would know that he is going home.
Katie: He's in Lawndale?
David: How did you know Trent lives in Lawndale?
Katie: I'm his daughter, Katie.
David: You are Katie, then why are you doing here?
Katie: I came to surprise my daddy.
David: Let me take you upstairs so we can talk in private and you can call your mother.
Katie: Okay.
(David leads Katie upstairs. Then a guy runs up)
The Guy: David, you are wanted on the set.
David: Okay. Be there in a minute.
The Guy: Okay.
(The guy leaves)
David: You can stay in here.
(Takes Katie in the green room. And Britany Spears is sitting on the couch.)
Katie: (turns her head and makes a x with her fingers over Britany) Evil. Evil.
David: You have to stay here until I come back.
Katie: Please don't make me stay here with her.
David: It will be okay.
(David leaves)
Britany: Hi, I'm Britany Spears.
Katie: NNNNNNNNNooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Starring (In alphabetical order)
Jane-------------------------------------------------------------------Jane Lane
Katie-------------------------Katie Lane (We finally found out what her name is)
Trent-----------------------------------------------------------------Trent Lane
Wind------------------------------------------------------------------ Wind Lane
Daria-------------------------------------------------------Jennifer Love-Hewitt
Quinn--------------------------------------------------------Quinn Morgendorffer
Upchuck--------------------------------------------------Charles Ruttherimer III
Tom-------------------------------------------------------------------Tom Sloane
Guest Starring (In alphabetical order)
Napalm Krigbaum--------------------------------------------------Napalm Krigbaum
David Sorenson----------------------------------------------------David Sorenson
Britany Spears----------------------------------------------------Britany Spears
Neo-Queen Terra of Crystal Tokyo----------------Neo-Queen Terra of Crystal Tokyo
The Guy----------------------------------------------------------Some Guy at MTV
Woman----------------------------------------------------------Some Woman at MTV
Writer------------------------------------------Neo-Queen Terra of Crystal Tokyo
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Schedule Monkey is Napalm Krigbaum's character, so you can't use him with out his permission.