A/N: The sequel to Ode to Marching Band.this one's for concert band! One
pep season gets more underway I plan to do one for pep band too. Also, a
disclaimer, I was a little bit angry at my ex when I wrote this so.I killed
him. In the fic, I mean. Just so you don't wonder why some random person is
dead. He's dead for a good reason. Also, my friend's ex is dead, too,
because I wanted to help her out. I don't go around killing random band
people. Anyway.enjoy! And review!
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Ode to Concert Band
It is yet another day at Cathedral High. We re-join our students in the band room, an hour and many days later than our previous story.
Band: Yay! Another hour of sleep!
Shut up! I'm not done yet!
(Band students go back to sleep)
Ahem. As I was saying, marching season is now over.
(There are sounds of crying from some of the band members)
Shut up! Babies!
Band: But we miss marching season!
Jessie: Band, atten-hut!
Band (snapping to attention): One!
Drumline & Guard, including 0 hour guard who somehow manage to escape their first period classes just to say this one line: BOOMCOCK!
ENOUGH!!! Are you people done yet? Can we please get on with the story?
Band: Yes.
Good. As I was TRYING to tell the audience, we're in concert band, and we're trying to practice our music. We focus, as always, on the percussion section, which is currently way too crowded due to the lack of funding for band, which results in a very small band room, which results in a very small percussion area. That, and there are too many percussionists. And the fact that half the section is supposed to be in the practice room, working on their ensemble, but by some unholy act of the devil, they're not.
Anna: Ow! What was that?
Madden Oh, that was me. I did it on purpose.
Anna: Oh, okay then.
AJ, Eric, and Parker, hereafter known as the Frosh Boys: Hey! Let's mess around with random stuff, even if we don't know what the hell we're doing!
(They do.)
Aaron & Jesse, hereafter known as The Odd Couple: We'll just sit here and do nothing, since we're way too cool and mature for you people anyway.
(They do.)
Mrs. McC: Okay, guys, we have to actually do useful stuff, now. Like playing music.
Percussion: Aw, do we have to?
Mrs. McC: YES.
(Everyone gets up and frantically tries to decide parts, get music, etc. All except for Z-wad, hereafter known as Z, who just sits on the floor pounding pennies with a brake hammer)
Parker: Should we move him? Or something?
Peter: Nah, he's fine. Besides, he's a senior, he can do whatever he wants.
Parker: Okay then.
Jackman: Wait a minute.Parker, what are you doing down here? You're supposed to play tuba during concert season!
Parker: I hate the tuba.
Tuba and PJ: TOOOOOBA!
Thaya: That's not funny anymore. Really. And you people hut my ears.
Tuba and PJ: TOOOOOBA!
Thaya: Alright. I warned you.
(Thaya grabs her electric bass and proceeds to beat the snot out of them.)
Parker: Mmm! Blood!
(He slithers/glides in that creepy way that movie ghosts do, over to the tuba section, and starts to drink their blood.)
AJ: I told you he was a vampire.
Jackman: Whatever. At least he's where he should be.
(Everyone is called to order by Mrs. McC, who hits the podium with her cool new gavel.)
Danielle: That's not a gavel. It's a chime mallet.
Mrs. McC: Really? Oh well.
Sarah Smart: YELLOW HAMMER!
(She runs down to the percussion section, grabs the yellow plastic chime mallet out of Aaron's hands, and runs back to her section)
Eric: Darn. Now we only have one chime mallet left!
(Suddenly, from within the trees outside, our friend Godzilla appears. Once again, the band takes no notice of him, except for the brass players, who cower in fear. Godzilla reaches through the window, grabs the last chime mallet, and goes of to beat all the remaining Chatard people with it.)
Aaron: Hey! Come back here, you big lizard! I have seniority over you!
(Godzilla ignores him and keeps walking)
Aaron: Yeah, I kinda figured that wouldn't work.
Mrs. McC: Enough of this. Everyone get out Dixieland. We're going to play now.
(The band does so, with slight confusion from the percussion over exactly which letters they're supposed to play at, but they figure it out, and things are going along quite nicely.until the rimshots show up.)
Anna: TAP.
Rest of percussion: That's wrong. It's like THIS.
(They all try to show her at the same time)
Mrs. McC: Try it again, this time so the whole band can hear you and laugh at your stupidity.
Anna: BONK-TAP.
Rest of percussion: NO.
Jackman: Like THIS.
Peter: Hit the rim AND the head.
AJ: No, that's wrong.
Jesse, hereafter known as The Ex, or merely X: Hit closer to the rim.
Anna: AAARGH! That's it! I can't do it! I'm quitting percussion!
Rest of percussion: Yay! Um.we mean.darn.
Danielle: Wait! Don't leave me here alone! These guys are scary!
Anna: Sorry, no longer my problem. I'm joining the guard!
Danielle: There is no guard. Marching season's over.
Anna: Oh yeah. Well, then, I'll play trumpet.
Mike, Sarah Snyder, and Grant: We're evil!
(Mike pats Anna on the head)
Anna: GAH!!
(Sarah Snyder does the same)
Sarah Snyder: You're short. Ha ha. Slut.
Anna: GAH!!!
(Grant pulls out a knife)
Anna: GAAAH!!!!
Jesse/X: Ha ha. Little girl.
(Anna turns around and gives him a Very. Evil. Look. After a few seconds, X falls to the ground, unconscious)
Anna: Cool! I thought that only worked with Torr!
(Torr enters)
Torr: Did someone say my name?
Band: Hey! He's not in band!
(Anna glares at him, too, and he falls on the ground)
Sarah Smart: Hey! I wanna try that!
(She glares at Jackman the same way, and he falls on the floor on top of X)
Sarah Smart: Cool!
(She and Anna give high-fives)
Anna: Enough of my evil woman-powers. I still need to find a section.
Saxes: Uh-uh. There are already too many of us.
Clarinets: Don't even think about it.
Torvik: Besides, I hate you.
Flutes: We don't need any more hyper people. We have Katie.
Katie (singing): Comet! It makes your mouth turn green.
Anna: Gotta love Katie.
Jessie (pointing at Anna): Besides, she called me fat.
Anna: Um.okay.what's left? Tuba?
P.J.: No.
(He gives her a very scary evil glance)
Anna: Okay, okay, not tuba.
(She looks over at the last section.the trombones. Her eyes fall on Kuhn, sitting with his trombone)
Anna: AAAAAH! It's hideous!
Kuhn: Oh, come on, it's just a trombone.
Anna (sighing): Fine. I'll stay with percussion, then.
(She runs back down and hugs them all, except for Jackman and X, who are both still on the floor)
Z: By the way.there's an easier way to play rim shots.
Anna: You could've told me that earlier!
And so ends this tale.
Shawn: Wait! I'm not in this story yet!
Elizabeth: Me either!
Kari: Or me!
Itty-bitty: Or me!
Wa-wa: Don't forget me!
Sarah Smart: I want a bigger part!
Coire: I'm not with the trumpets!
Jessie: I should be more important! I'm the drum major!
Jesse/X: What about me? Do I ever get to wake up?
Anna, Sarah, and Sarah: NO!
Jesse: Darn.
Anna: Too bad. It's my story, so I win.
Sarah Snyder: Wait! No, you d-
THE END
Ode to Concert Band
It is yet another day at Cathedral High. We re-join our students in the band room, an hour and many days later than our previous story.
Band: Yay! Another hour of sleep!
Shut up! I'm not done yet!
(Band students go back to sleep)
Ahem. As I was saying, marching season is now over.
(There are sounds of crying from some of the band members)
Shut up! Babies!
Band: But we miss marching season!
Jessie: Band, atten-hut!
Band (snapping to attention): One!
Drumline & Guard, including 0 hour guard who somehow manage to escape their first period classes just to say this one line: BOOMCOCK!
ENOUGH!!! Are you people done yet? Can we please get on with the story?
Band: Yes.
Good. As I was TRYING to tell the audience, we're in concert band, and we're trying to practice our music. We focus, as always, on the percussion section, which is currently way too crowded due to the lack of funding for band, which results in a very small band room, which results in a very small percussion area. That, and there are too many percussionists. And the fact that half the section is supposed to be in the practice room, working on their ensemble, but by some unholy act of the devil, they're not.
Anna: Ow! What was that?
Madden Oh, that was me. I did it on purpose.
Anna: Oh, okay then.
AJ, Eric, and Parker, hereafter known as the Frosh Boys: Hey! Let's mess around with random stuff, even if we don't know what the hell we're doing!
(They do.)
Aaron & Jesse, hereafter known as The Odd Couple: We'll just sit here and do nothing, since we're way too cool and mature for you people anyway.
(They do.)
Mrs. McC: Okay, guys, we have to actually do useful stuff, now. Like playing music.
Percussion: Aw, do we have to?
Mrs. McC: YES.
(Everyone gets up and frantically tries to decide parts, get music, etc. All except for Z-wad, hereafter known as Z, who just sits on the floor pounding pennies with a brake hammer)
Parker: Should we move him? Or something?
Peter: Nah, he's fine. Besides, he's a senior, he can do whatever he wants.
Parker: Okay then.
Jackman: Wait a minute.Parker, what are you doing down here? You're supposed to play tuba during concert season!
Parker: I hate the tuba.
Tuba and PJ: TOOOOOBA!
Thaya: That's not funny anymore. Really. And you people hut my ears.
Tuba and PJ: TOOOOOBA!
Thaya: Alright. I warned you.
(Thaya grabs her electric bass and proceeds to beat the snot out of them.)
Parker: Mmm! Blood!
(He slithers/glides in that creepy way that movie ghosts do, over to the tuba section, and starts to drink their blood.)
AJ: I told you he was a vampire.
Jackman: Whatever. At least he's where he should be.
(Everyone is called to order by Mrs. McC, who hits the podium with her cool new gavel.)
Danielle: That's not a gavel. It's a chime mallet.
Mrs. McC: Really? Oh well.
Sarah Smart: YELLOW HAMMER!
(She runs down to the percussion section, grabs the yellow plastic chime mallet out of Aaron's hands, and runs back to her section)
Eric: Darn. Now we only have one chime mallet left!
(Suddenly, from within the trees outside, our friend Godzilla appears. Once again, the band takes no notice of him, except for the brass players, who cower in fear. Godzilla reaches through the window, grabs the last chime mallet, and goes of to beat all the remaining Chatard people with it.)
Aaron: Hey! Come back here, you big lizard! I have seniority over you!
(Godzilla ignores him and keeps walking)
Aaron: Yeah, I kinda figured that wouldn't work.
Mrs. McC: Enough of this. Everyone get out Dixieland. We're going to play now.
(The band does so, with slight confusion from the percussion over exactly which letters they're supposed to play at, but they figure it out, and things are going along quite nicely.until the rimshots show up.)
Anna: TAP.
Rest of percussion: That's wrong. It's like THIS.
(They all try to show her at the same time)
Mrs. McC: Try it again, this time so the whole band can hear you and laugh at your stupidity.
Anna: BONK-TAP.
Rest of percussion: NO.
Jackman: Like THIS.
Peter: Hit the rim AND the head.
AJ: No, that's wrong.
Jesse, hereafter known as The Ex, or merely X: Hit closer to the rim.
Anna: AAARGH! That's it! I can't do it! I'm quitting percussion!
Rest of percussion: Yay! Um.we mean.darn.
Danielle: Wait! Don't leave me here alone! These guys are scary!
Anna: Sorry, no longer my problem. I'm joining the guard!
Danielle: There is no guard. Marching season's over.
Anna: Oh yeah. Well, then, I'll play trumpet.
Mike, Sarah Snyder, and Grant: We're evil!
(Mike pats Anna on the head)
Anna: GAH!!
(Sarah Snyder does the same)
Sarah Snyder: You're short. Ha ha. Slut.
Anna: GAH!!!
(Grant pulls out a knife)
Anna: GAAAH!!!!
Jesse/X: Ha ha. Little girl.
(Anna turns around and gives him a Very. Evil. Look. After a few seconds, X falls to the ground, unconscious)
Anna: Cool! I thought that only worked with Torr!
(Torr enters)
Torr: Did someone say my name?
Band: Hey! He's not in band!
(Anna glares at him, too, and he falls on the ground)
Sarah Smart: Hey! I wanna try that!
(She glares at Jackman the same way, and he falls on the floor on top of X)
Sarah Smart: Cool!
(She and Anna give high-fives)
Anna: Enough of my evil woman-powers. I still need to find a section.
Saxes: Uh-uh. There are already too many of us.
Clarinets: Don't even think about it.
Torvik: Besides, I hate you.
Flutes: We don't need any more hyper people. We have Katie.
Katie (singing): Comet! It makes your mouth turn green.
Anna: Gotta love Katie.
Jessie (pointing at Anna): Besides, she called me fat.
Anna: Um.okay.what's left? Tuba?
P.J.: No.
(He gives her a very scary evil glance)
Anna: Okay, okay, not tuba.
(She looks over at the last section.the trombones. Her eyes fall on Kuhn, sitting with his trombone)
Anna: AAAAAH! It's hideous!
Kuhn: Oh, come on, it's just a trombone.
Anna (sighing): Fine. I'll stay with percussion, then.
(She runs back down and hugs them all, except for Jackman and X, who are both still on the floor)
Z: By the way.there's an easier way to play rim shots.
Anna: You could've told me that earlier!
And so ends this tale.
Shawn: Wait! I'm not in this story yet!
Elizabeth: Me either!
Kari: Or me!
Itty-bitty: Or me!
Wa-wa: Don't forget me!
Sarah Smart: I want a bigger part!
Coire: I'm not with the trumpets!
Jessie: I should be more important! I'm the drum major!
Jesse/X: What about me? Do I ever get to wake up?
Anna, Sarah, and Sarah: NO!
Jesse: Darn.
Anna: Too bad. It's my story, so I win.
Sarah Snyder: Wait! No, you d-
THE END