Disclaimer: I don't own Daria or anything else I mention. Know what I own nada, expect the story basically, and Katie. Muhahahahahahahahaha!
Katie: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WARNING: It is a soap opera. Humorous purposes only.
centerDaria: The 7th Season
Episode 5
"Secrets Revealed"
Opening Theme
It Wasn't Me
Sung by. Shaggy
Honey came in and she caught me re-handed
Creeping with the girl next door
Picture this we were both butt-naked
Banging on the bathroom floor
How can I forget
That I had given her an extra key
All this time she standing there
She never took her eye off me/center
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Scene One
Mr. Barch's Kindergarten Class
(Mr. Barch is sitting at his desk. Then, the bell rings and about 16 kindergartens run in and takes their seats. Katie is one of the kids. Katie is sitting at a table with 3 other people. Across from her is a shy boy with blonde hair named Ashley Barch, next to her a mini Upchuck named Charles Ruttherimer, and across from Charles, a girl with brown hair that is wearing the in thing named Jenny Richardson.)
Mr. Barch: Okay class, today we learn about the letter Z. Do any body knows what starts with Z?
(Charles raises his hand.)
Mr. Barch: Charles, do you have a word that starts with Z?
Charles: No, I need to go the bathroom.
Mr. Barch: You should have gone before class starts.
Charles: But I didn't need to go then, but I need to go now.
Mr. Barch: Okay, you can go to the bathroom.
(Charles gets up and runs out of the class room.)
Mr. Barch: Does anybody has a word that starts with Z? Katie?
Katie: Zebra.
Jenny: (whispers) Teacher pet.
Katie: What did you call me?
Jenny: You heard me.
Katie: I'm not a teacher pet.
Jenny: Yes, you are.
Mr. Barch: Please stop fighting, you're disrupting the class.
Jenny: We finish this at lunch.
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Scene Two
The Lawndale Elementary Playground
(Katie is sitting on a swing. A group of girls, led by Jenny, walks by)
Girls: Teacher Pet, Teacher Pet.
Katie: At least I'm not the Class Brat.
Jenny: You're such a loser.
Katie: It takes one to know one.
Jenny: Whatever. Let go girls.
(Ashley walks up)
Ashley: Hey, Katie.
Katie: What do you want?
Ashley: Nothing. Is this swinger taken?
Katie: No.
(Ashley sits down on the swinger next to her.)
Jenny and Her Friends: Look Katie has a boyfriend. Katie and Ashley sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First come love, then marriage, then comes the baby in a baby carriage.
(Katie jumps off the swing, runs to Jenny and punches her in the right eye.)
Jenny: You're in so much trouble.
Katie: Why?
Jenny: Because you are. Wait until my brother finds out.
Katie: Why? Is he going to beat me up? Ha! He can't. I'm the ruler of the universe and if he hurt me, my three-headed dog will eat him.
Jenny: You're the ruler of the universe, yeah right.
Katie: You're just jealous.
Jenny: Me jealous of you. (starts to laugh)
(Then her friends starts to laugh to.)
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Scene Three
Wind's Room
(Katie in there setting up the time machine. Then, Ray comes in.)
Ray: What are you doing?
Katie: None of your business.
Ray: This is Wind's room and Wind is not here so you are not allow to be in here.
Katie: So? I got a year-round pass. (takes a card from her pocket and then shows it to Ray) Where's yours?
Ray: Whatever. So, what's that?
Katie: A time machine happy, so leave.
Ray: Cool! So where are you going?
Katie: Future. Bye.
Ray: Can I come?
Katie: No!
Ray: Then, I going to tell your mother.
Katie: Okay.
(They walks in the time machine, and shuts the door. Then the door opens and they walk out. They are in front of a club. There is a Mystic Spiral poster on the door and over a big Sold-Out sign.)
Katie: Cool! Mystic Spiral is back. Let see if we can get in.
Ray: Okay.
(They open the door and walk in. A bouncer is on the other end.)
Katie: We like to see Mystic Spiral.
Bouncer: Yeah and everybody else. Do you have a ticket?
Katie: I don't need one. I'm the daughter of the lead singer.
Bouncer: Yeah right. I grow-up with the lead singer and I know for a fact she doesn't have a daughter.
Katie: I demand to see them.
Bouncer: How old are you? You must be 21 to get in.
A 20 year old Katie: Oh, she is with me. She's my cousin.
Bouncer: This is Wind's daughter.
Katie: What are you talking about?
Future Katie: Come on, let's go backstage.
Bouncer: What about this guy?
Future Katie: Kick him out.
Ray: But I'm with her.
Katie: Who are you?
Ray: You're in trouble, Katie.
Katie: Whatever.
(The bouncer throws Ray out of the club. Both Katies walks to the backstage into her dressing room.)
Katie: Who are you?
Future Katie: I'm you in the future.
Katie: Cool. Who dressing room is this?
Future Katie: Mine. I'm the leader singer for Mystic Spiral.
Katie: You are, I mean me. Cool.
(Someone knocks on the door.)
Future Katie: Who is it?
Guy: Flowers for a Miss Katie Lane.
(Future Katie opens the door and a guy is standing there with a dozen roses.)
Future Katie: That will be me.
(Guy hands her the flowers.)
Guy: Here you go.
Future Katie: Thanks.
(Shuts the door and puts the flowers in a vase.)
Katie: Who are they from?
Future Katie: Do you remember Ashley Barch?
Katie: Yeah, why?
Future Katie: He's in a boy band now called Boys 'R Us.
Katie: What does that have to do with the flowers?
Future Katie: He send them to me. We're engaged.
Katie: What!
Future Katie: We dated in Jr. High then in High School I dated Kevin Jr. until Senior Year then he dump me and went to college. After that I got back together with Ashley.
Katie: I dated Kevin Jr. Gross!
Future Katie: I just did that to make Jenny mad.
Katie: That's okay. How about Wind?
Future Katie: When we were 14, he got married to lucky number 10, Aunt Amber, had a daughter and still married to her to this day.
Katie: Whoa. How about Jenny?
Future Katie: Fashion Model.
Katie: Figures. Charles?
Future Katie: Gay.
Katie: You lying.
Future Katie: I kid you not.
Katie: Okay. My parents.
Future Katie: Still together.
Katie: Aunt Janey?
Future Katie: I think she's in Rome.
Katie: Aunt Daria?
Future Katie: Divorce Tom when I were 10. Some pictures somehow got send to her.
Katie: I wonder how. Uncle Tom, how about him?
Future Katie: I don't know how to tell you this.
Katie: What?
Future Katie: He's our father.
Katie: What? (faints)
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Commercial
Just what? Your favorite 5 year old has her own e-mail. Yes, Katie Lane has an e-mail. E-mail your fan-mail to katielane_rulerofuniverse@go.com.
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Scene Four
(Katie's Dressing Room)
Future Katie: Are you okay?
Katie: It can't be true.
Future Katie: It is.
Katie: NNNNNooooo!!!!!
Future Katie: At least something good came out it.
Katie: Nothing good can come out of it.
Future Katie: What about the sound of a thousand dollars per month?
Katie: What do you mean?
Future Katie: Let me just say that a certain somebody didn't want it to leak out.
Katie: I can buy lot of junk with a thousand dollars.
Future Katie: Yeah. You know how much a guitar is?
(Somebody knocks on her door)
Guy: Katie, you have 5 minutes before going on stage.
Future Katie: Thanks. Come on, Katie. We need to find you a place to watch the concert.
(They left the room. Walks in the club to the bar.)
Future Katie: Hey, Bob watch her please.
Bob: Anything for you.
Future Katie: Thanks.
(Future Katie leaves)
Bob: What's your name?
Katie: Katie.
Bob: You're her cousin, right.
Katie: Yeah.
Bob: Want something to drink?
Katie: Do you have a Cherry Coke?
Bob: Would a Shirley Temple do?
Katie: I guess.
(The lights go down and the opening of Ow! My face starts to play. Then spotlight goes on Future Katie and the guitarist who looks identical to Jesse, but it actually his son. They are back to back. Then a spotlight goes on the bass, Future Katie's kid sister who's fifteen. Another spotlight goes on Max the drummer, the only original member of the Spiral left. Then the lights go up on the stage, and Trent starts to sing Ow! My Face center stage.)
Katie: I thought I'm, I mean Katie is the lead singer.
Bob: She is, but she lets her dad open for them.
(The song ended and Future Katie walks center stage. She puts her arm around Trent and kisses him on the cheek.)
Future Katie: He still has it after all this years. My dad everyone.
(Trent walks off the stage, but not before his other daughter kisses him on the cheek. He goes to the side of the stage next to Quinn.)
Katie: Refresh my memory, who's playing the bass?
Bob: That's your cousin, Roxanne, Katie's sister.
Katie: (whisper) I have a sister.
Bob: What?
Katie: Oh, thanks. Sometimes my memory just go. I think I getting Alzheimer or something like that.
Bob: You're one strange kid.
Katie: Thanks!
(Mystik Spiral rocks out for two hours, then at the end Future Katie's guitar sets on fire and then she smashes it on the stage facing Max. Then she does the rock symbol on both hand facing backwards from the crowd and on the back of her jacket is Ruler of the Universe. The crowd goes wild.)
Katie: I am the ruler of the universe. I'm so cool.
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Scene Five
Lawndale Elementary Playground
(Katie on the swing. Then Jenny comes up with her brother Kevin Jr. and her 'friends'.)
Jenny: There she is. She gave me the black eye.
Kevin Jr.: Prepare for a beating.
Katie: Sorry I don't fight with commoners. I'm the ruler of the universe, I have to set an example for the rest of the kids and I think knocking the lights out of you won't be a good one.
Kevin Jr.: What?
Katie: (smacks herself and whisper)I can't believe I will date him. I hope he gets some kind of a brain in high school.
Jenny: What are you mumbling about?
Katie: Nothing.
Kevin Jr.: So are we going to fight or what?
Katie: Did your mommy or daddy ever told you not to fight a girl?
Kevin Jr.: My daddy did. Sorry Jenny I can't fight her. I'll be in big trouble if I did.
(Kevin Jr. walks off)
Jenny: (mad) I will get you Katie. So watch your back.
(Jenny and her friends walks off)
Katie: (yelling) Watch yours.
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Scene Six
Lane's Living Room
(Katie and Trent are asleep on the couch. Then Jane walks in)
Jane: Like father, like daughter.
(Then the doorbell rings and Jane answers it. It's the deliver guy with a huge box)
Deliverer Guy: Here's your package. So can you sign here.
(Jane signs for the box and closes the door with it in her hands)
Jane: (reads the label) Katie, you got a box from Amazon I see.
(Katie wakes up and runs to Jane. Then she took the box from her. She sets it on the living room floor and opens it)
Jane: What is it?
Katie: Hendrix and Meatloaf, the coolest DVDs, and some little reading. (pulls out The Lords of the Rings books, all of the Dune books, Sun Tzu's Art of War, and The Prince)
Jane: Yeah, some little reading. Where's Harry Potter?
Katie: Harry Potter are for kids. I read them when I was three.
Jane: Sure you did.
Katie: Oh yeah I forget, How to speak Japanese books, tapes, and videos. Just for the reason I can what anime without the subtitle or the sucking dubs.
Jane: You're one strange kid, you know.
Katie: Thanks, Aunt Janey.
Jane: And you take it as a compliment, you're strange indeed. Hey do you know where Ray is?
Katie: Nope. Haven't seen him since yesterday.
(Back in the future)
Ray: Katie where are you?
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Katie: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WARNING: It is a soap opera. Humorous purposes only.
centerDaria: The 7th Season
Episode 5
"Secrets Revealed"
Opening Theme
It Wasn't Me
Sung by. Shaggy
Honey came in and she caught me re-handed
Creeping with the girl next door
Picture this we were both butt-naked
Banging on the bathroom floor
How can I forget
That I had given her an extra key
All this time she standing there
She never took her eye off me/center
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene One
Mr. Barch's Kindergarten Class
(Mr. Barch is sitting at his desk. Then, the bell rings and about 16 kindergartens run in and takes their seats. Katie is one of the kids. Katie is sitting at a table with 3 other people. Across from her is a shy boy with blonde hair named Ashley Barch, next to her a mini Upchuck named Charles Ruttherimer, and across from Charles, a girl with brown hair that is wearing the in thing named Jenny Richardson.)
Mr. Barch: Okay class, today we learn about the letter Z. Do any body knows what starts with Z?
(Charles raises his hand.)
Mr. Barch: Charles, do you have a word that starts with Z?
Charles: No, I need to go the bathroom.
Mr. Barch: You should have gone before class starts.
Charles: But I didn't need to go then, but I need to go now.
Mr. Barch: Okay, you can go to the bathroom.
(Charles gets up and runs out of the class room.)
Mr. Barch: Does anybody has a word that starts with Z? Katie?
Katie: Zebra.
Jenny: (whispers) Teacher pet.
Katie: What did you call me?
Jenny: You heard me.
Katie: I'm not a teacher pet.
Jenny: Yes, you are.
Mr. Barch: Please stop fighting, you're disrupting the class.
Jenny: We finish this at lunch.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene Two
The Lawndale Elementary Playground
(Katie is sitting on a swing. A group of girls, led by Jenny, walks by)
Girls: Teacher Pet, Teacher Pet.
Katie: At least I'm not the Class Brat.
Jenny: You're such a loser.
Katie: It takes one to know one.
Jenny: Whatever. Let go girls.
(Ashley walks up)
Ashley: Hey, Katie.
Katie: What do you want?
Ashley: Nothing. Is this swinger taken?
Katie: No.
(Ashley sits down on the swinger next to her.)
Jenny and Her Friends: Look Katie has a boyfriend. Katie and Ashley sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First come love, then marriage, then comes the baby in a baby carriage.
(Katie jumps off the swing, runs to Jenny and punches her in the right eye.)
Jenny: You're in so much trouble.
Katie: Why?
Jenny: Because you are. Wait until my brother finds out.
Katie: Why? Is he going to beat me up? Ha! He can't. I'm the ruler of the universe and if he hurt me, my three-headed dog will eat him.
Jenny: You're the ruler of the universe, yeah right.
Katie: You're just jealous.
Jenny: Me jealous of you. (starts to laugh)
(Then her friends starts to laugh to.)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene Three
Wind's Room
(Katie in there setting up the time machine. Then, Ray comes in.)
Ray: What are you doing?
Katie: None of your business.
Ray: This is Wind's room and Wind is not here so you are not allow to be in here.
Katie: So? I got a year-round pass. (takes a card from her pocket and then shows it to Ray) Where's yours?
Ray: Whatever. So, what's that?
Katie: A time machine happy, so leave.
Ray: Cool! So where are you going?
Katie: Future. Bye.
Ray: Can I come?
Katie: No!
Ray: Then, I going to tell your mother.
Katie: Okay.
(They walks in the time machine, and shuts the door. Then the door opens and they walk out. They are in front of a club. There is a Mystic Spiral poster on the door and over a big Sold-Out sign.)
Katie: Cool! Mystic Spiral is back. Let see if we can get in.
Ray: Okay.
(They open the door and walk in. A bouncer is on the other end.)
Katie: We like to see Mystic Spiral.
Bouncer: Yeah and everybody else. Do you have a ticket?
Katie: I don't need one. I'm the daughter of the lead singer.
Bouncer: Yeah right. I grow-up with the lead singer and I know for a fact she doesn't have a daughter.
Katie: I demand to see them.
Bouncer: How old are you? You must be 21 to get in.
A 20 year old Katie: Oh, she is with me. She's my cousin.
Bouncer: This is Wind's daughter.
Katie: What are you talking about?
Future Katie: Come on, let's go backstage.
Bouncer: What about this guy?
Future Katie: Kick him out.
Ray: But I'm with her.
Katie: Who are you?
Ray: You're in trouble, Katie.
Katie: Whatever.
(The bouncer throws Ray out of the club. Both Katies walks to the backstage into her dressing room.)
Katie: Who are you?
Future Katie: I'm you in the future.
Katie: Cool. Who dressing room is this?
Future Katie: Mine. I'm the leader singer for Mystic Spiral.
Katie: You are, I mean me. Cool.
(Someone knocks on the door.)
Future Katie: Who is it?
Guy: Flowers for a Miss Katie Lane.
(Future Katie opens the door and a guy is standing there with a dozen roses.)
Future Katie: That will be me.
(Guy hands her the flowers.)
Guy: Here you go.
Future Katie: Thanks.
(Shuts the door and puts the flowers in a vase.)
Katie: Who are they from?
Future Katie: Do you remember Ashley Barch?
Katie: Yeah, why?
Future Katie: He's in a boy band now called Boys 'R Us.
Katie: What does that have to do with the flowers?
Future Katie: He send them to me. We're engaged.
Katie: What!
Future Katie: We dated in Jr. High then in High School I dated Kevin Jr. until Senior Year then he dump me and went to college. After that I got back together with Ashley.
Katie: I dated Kevin Jr. Gross!
Future Katie: I just did that to make Jenny mad.
Katie: That's okay. How about Wind?
Future Katie: When we were 14, he got married to lucky number 10, Aunt Amber, had a daughter and still married to her to this day.
Katie: Whoa. How about Jenny?
Future Katie: Fashion Model.
Katie: Figures. Charles?
Future Katie: Gay.
Katie: You lying.
Future Katie: I kid you not.
Katie: Okay. My parents.
Future Katie: Still together.
Katie: Aunt Janey?
Future Katie: I think she's in Rome.
Katie: Aunt Daria?
Future Katie: Divorce Tom when I were 10. Some pictures somehow got send to her.
Katie: I wonder how. Uncle Tom, how about him?
Future Katie: I don't know how to tell you this.
Katie: What?
Future Katie: He's our father.
Katie: What? (faints)
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Commercial
Just what? Your favorite 5 year old has her own e-mail. Yes, Katie Lane has an e-mail. E-mail your fan-mail to katielane_rulerofuniverse@go.com.
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Scene Four
(Katie's Dressing Room)
Future Katie: Are you okay?
Katie: It can't be true.
Future Katie: It is.
Katie: NNNNNooooo!!!!!
Future Katie: At least something good came out it.
Katie: Nothing good can come out of it.
Future Katie: What about the sound of a thousand dollars per month?
Katie: What do you mean?
Future Katie: Let me just say that a certain somebody didn't want it to leak out.
Katie: I can buy lot of junk with a thousand dollars.
Future Katie: Yeah. You know how much a guitar is?
(Somebody knocks on her door)
Guy: Katie, you have 5 minutes before going on stage.
Future Katie: Thanks. Come on, Katie. We need to find you a place to watch the concert.
(They left the room. Walks in the club to the bar.)
Future Katie: Hey, Bob watch her please.
Bob: Anything for you.
Future Katie: Thanks.
(Future Katie leaves)
Bob: What's your name?
Katie: Katie.
Bob: You're her cousin, right.
Katie: Yeah.
Bob: Want something to drink?
Katie: Do you have a Cherry Coke?
Bob: Would a Shirley Temple do?
Katie: I guess.
(The lights go down and the opening of Ow! My face starts to play. Then spotlight goes on Future Katie and the guitarist who looks identical to Jesse, but it actually his son. They are back to back. Then a spotlight goes on the bass, Future Katie's kid sister who's fifteen. Another spotlight goes on Max the drummer, the only original member of the Spiral left. Then the lights go up on the stage, and Trent starts to sing Ow! My Face center stage.)
Katie: I thought I'm, I mean Katie is the lead singer.
Bob: She is, but she lets her dad open for them.
(The song ended and Future Katie walks center stage. She puts her arm around Trent and kisses him on the cheek.)
Future Katie: He still has it after all this years. My dad everyone.
(Trent walks off the stage, but not before his other daughter kisses him on the cheek. He goes to the side of the stage next to Quinn.)
Katie: Refresh my memory, who's playing the bass?
Bob: That's your cousin, Roxanne, Katie's sister.
Katie: (whisper) I have a sister.
Bob: What?
Katie: Oh, thanks. Sometimes my memory just go. I think I getting Alzheimer or something like that.
Bob: You're one strange kid.
Katie: Thanks!
(Mystik Spiral rocks out for two hours, then at the end Future Katie's guitar sets on fire and then she smashes it on the stage facing Max. Then she does the rock symbol on both hand facing backwards from the crowd and on the back of her jacket is Ruler of the Universe. The crowd goes wild.)
Katie: I am the ruler of the universe. I'm so cool.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene Five
Lawndale Elementary Playground
(Katie on the swing. Then Jenny comes up with her brother Kevin Jr. and her 'friends'.)
Jenny: There she is. She gave me the black eye.
Kevin Jr.: Prepare for a beating.
Katie: Sorry I don't fight with commoners. I'm the ruler of the universe, I have to set an example for the rest of the kids and I think knocking the lights out of you won't be a good one.
Kevin Jr.: What?
Katie: (smacks herself and whisper)I can't believe I will date him. I hope he gets some kind of a brain in high school.
Jenny: What are you mumbling about?
Katie: Nothing.
Kevin Jr.: So are we going to fight or what?
Katie: Did your mommy or daddy ever told you not to fight a girl?
Kevin Jr.: My daddy did. Sorry Jenny I can't fight her. I'll be in big trouble if I did.
(Kevin Jr. walks off)
Jenny: (mad) I will get you Katie. So watch your back.
(Jenny and her friends walks off)
Katie: (yelling) Watch yours.
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Scene Six
Lane's Living Room
(Katie and Trent are asleep on the couch. Then Jane walks in)
Jane: Like father, like daughter.
(Then the doorbell rings and Jane answers it. It's the deliver guy with a huge box)
Deliverer Guy: Here's your package. So can you sign here.
(Jane signs for the box and closes the door with it in her hands)
Jane: (reads the label) Katie, you got a box from Amazon I see.
(Katie wakes up and runs to Jane. Then she took the box from her. She sets it on the living room floor and opens it)
Jane: What is it?
Katie: Hendrix and Meatloaf, the coolest DVDs, and some little reading. (pulls out The Lords of the Rings books, all of the Dune books, Sun Tzu's Art of War, and The Prince)
Jane: Yeah, some little reading. Where's Harry Potter?
Katie: Harry Potter are for kids. I read them when I was three.
Jane: Sure you did.
Katie: Oh yeah I forget, How to speak Japanese books, tapes, and videos. Just for the reason I can what anime without the subtitle or the sucking dubs.
Jane: You're one strange kid, you know.
Katie: Thanks, Aunt Janey.
Jane: And you take it as a compliment, you're strange indeed. Hey do you know where Ray is?
Katie: Nope. Haven't seen him since yesterday.
(Back in the future)
Ray: Katie where are you?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------