== 3: Pathway To A Smile ==

"Goku! GOKU!"

He rushed into the thick clusters of tall yellow flowers, desperately searching for the youth. He was completely surrounded by the plants and butterflies, and the crisp scent of the flora was invading his senses. The search seemed fruitless – the field was wide and no one would be able to see too far.

"Go – YAAAAAH!"

He tripped over, and almost thought he felt the earth in his face, when he was pulled up but strong hands, and balanced against the other's shoulder. A warm feeling of security washed over him, and he realized that his search was then already over.

"Where have you been?" cried he, stepping back. "We were really so worried about you!"

"Sorry…" he replied sheepishly. "I got carried away. I wanted to really, really, REALLY enjoy the break you gave us."

Hakkai nodded. "Well, let's get going. Sanzo and Gojyo are probably already back."

He started to walk off, expecting Goku to fall into step with him, but the youth stood still, looking at the ground miserably. Twined around his neck was the little white dragon. The dark haired man stared at them in confusion. "Don't you want to go back to camp?"

"You can go first, with Hakuryu, maybe…" The dragon unlatched itself and perched on the man's shoulder. Goku looked up at them. "I'll come later. Don't worry."

"…Is something bothering you?"

Goku took a deep breath. He didn't like to tell Hakkai that he felt jealous, when he saw he and Gojyo basking together in the sun, chatting gaily. He didn't like to admit that he thought that they looked very nice together, and though he felt bad about it, he'd never break them up. He didn't like to say that he didn't feel or think very much like the child he was before, and that he wanted to get what Hakkai may think he shouldn't. And so he said those three everything, in ten words.

"I jealously wanted to look blissful with you like Gojyo."

Blissful?

Jealous?

He was no longer a child.

The dark haired man took Goku into his arms and stroked his auburn locks quietly. "We're not in love, Goku."

"No?"

"No." Hakkai bent a little to face the youth, pushing his hair away from his eyes. "I never could. Someone else took my heart away, and refused to hand it back to me."

"Who did?" Goku was bewildered.

"You did, of course."

"Me?" he bit his lip. "Here, you can take it back."

He held out an empty palm, as if visualizing a beating heart in it, and he held it out towards Hakkai. But to his astonishment, the dark haired man pushed it back, gently against his heaving chest.

"Maybe I want it there."

He slowly clasped the youth's hands in his, and inched in closer. Beyond, the sunflowers towered over them, and the butterflies danced in the gentle breeze.

It hurt a lot to see them suffering in silence. It hurt a lot to see them paining inside. And it hurt too, to feel his own heart racing, a course against the celestial matchmaker's will. But in the end, only one thing remains, and always will. It was sacrifice.

Gojyo walked back quietly towards the camp, a lit cigarette in his lips.

Perhaps one day, he too, shall find his pathway to a smile, in a sunflower field, somewhere in China.

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The End

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Note: AUGH! Crappy, huh? XD