It had been another long day for Rohr; she was still cleaning out stalls for Iris Sedai and working in the library to help Kitana Sedai until her twins were born. Add to that her normal daily chores and classes. It was late and most other novices had already made their way to their beds. As Rohr reached her room she looked at the younger novice in the bottom bed. Even as the girl slept Rohr could still notice that she had cried herself to sleep again. Wishing she had more time to herself so she could befriend the girl Rohr sighed remembering her first year in the tower. She too had cried herself to sleep nearly every night. The girl had arrived only a month ago and was from Falme, if Rohr's memory served her correctly. The girl had arrived on her fifteenth name day and had not even met Rohr until nearly a week later. Having been in the tower nearly four years herself, Rohr had many responsibilities and chores that pulled her out of bed before the younger girl and did not let her return until after the other was long asleep.
Readying herself for bed Rohr suddenly remembered her own name day was less than two weeks away and she would be seventeen. Smiling she wondered if her best friend had bought her something extravagant again this year. Shaking her head she hoped not. His gift last year had been a beautiful gray four-year-old mare with a white tale and main. al'Dell had vowed to teach her to ride and that he did, in the past year Rohr had grown comfortable and skilled enough to stay on her horse even at a full gallop. Something she never thought she would do being raised on the sea. But she had learned the horse just like the sea had a rhythm all she had to do was learn to go with it.
Climbing into bed it only seemed a few brief moments before the weariness over came her and she fell asleep. What only appeared to be a brief moment after falling asleep, Rohr was awakened by Sasha Sedai. Opening her eyes it took Rohr a few minutes to realize who had brought her out of her sleep. Upon realization of who had woken her Rohr quickly got out of bed and curtsied what was still an awkward yet not a stumbling curtsy.
"I am shocked to see that after nearly four years child you still have yet to accomplish mastery of a curtsy. But that is for another time. You have been summoned child, please come with me." Sasha Sedai said in a tone indicating Rohr should be quick. As the Mistress of Novices quickly left her room Rohr didn't bother changing out of her nightclothes and followed the woman down the hallway. Curiosity plagued Rohr's mind, she could not figure out what trouble she could be in. She had not taken leave of the tower with out permission for her riding lessons, nor had she had al'Dell meet her in the novices' quarters. She had been on time to all her classes and completed her chores in a timely matter. Worry creased her forehead as her steps slowed with out her realizing it. What could I have possibly done that could not wait until morning? What trouble have I caused? Panic suddenly hitting her she realized something; I am not good enough to go any further in my training. They are going to ask me to leave the tower. Stopping as the shame overwhelmed her Sasha Sedai turned and said, "Child do quicken your steps. The hour waits on no woman."
"Sasha Sedai, I am sorry I do not want to be put out of the tower. I swear I will work harder and study more. Please, I have worked so hard and over come so much..."
"Child what are you talking about? You are being summoned for raising to Accepted this morning."
Confused Rohr said, "Raised? This morning? Is it morning already, it seems I just went to bed."
Smiling Sasha said, "The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills, when the Wheel wills. Now I do not know why you would think we were putting you out of the tower. Come along the others wait."
Nodding her head Rohr followed the Aes Sedai down the hallways and corridors to the lowest chamber in the Tower. Rohr noticed that when the reached the hall it was plain and undecorated. The pale rock was smooth and untouched with only one set of very tall, wide doors like a fortress gate made from dark wood. Sasha Sedai easily opened the door with a simple push and motioned for Rohr to follow behind her into the large domed chamber. Looking around Rohr noticed tall stands with lamps that light up the chamber. In the center of the dome three rounded silver arches, just tall enough to walk under. They sat on a thick silver ring with their ends touching where they joined the ring. An Aes Sedai sitting crossed legged at each of the spots where the arches joined the ring and each other. The Aes Sedai closest to Rohr and the one she recognized immediately was Mariah Sedai, Sitter for the blue Ajah. One of two she was considering to study for her own. The next sister Rohr could see was Dejir Sedai, a yellow sister and on the far side sat a sister that Rohr had to really think about before remembering her name Philomina Sedai of the gray Ajah. None of the three seemed to notice Rohr and Sasha Sedai enter the room; instead their attention was completely on the arches in front of them. Iris Sedai stood to the side next to a table that had three silver chalices filled with clean clear water. Rohr glanced quickly and nervously at Iris Sedai and back at the arches. She knew she was going to have to face her fears through those arches. Taking her attention off the arches Sasha Sedai spoke to her, " Novices are given three chances at this. You may refuse to enter twice, but at the third refusal, you are sent away from the Tower forever. That is how it is done; you have the right to refuse. I will now tell you two things no woman hears until she stands where you do now. Once you begin, you must go on to the end. Refuse at any point and you will be put out of the Tower just as if you had refused to begin for the third time." Glancing at the Arches, the white light with in them no longer flickered but filled the arches making them opaque, then back at Sasha Sedai she said, "I will not refuse I will go on."
"The second. To seek, to strive, is to know danger. Some women have entered, and never come out. When the ter'angreal was allowed to grow quiet, they ... they just were not there. They were not seen again. If you will survive, you must be steadfast. This is you last chance to refuse and it will only count as the first. You will have two more chances. If you accept there is no turning back. It is not a shame to refuse the first time many have done so. Choose."
Looking at the arches again Rohr thought to herself, Some have not come out? They would prefer their fears over returning? She stood there for what seemed to her a very long time, taking a deep breath she replied, "I will continue Aes Sedai."
"Then ready yourself child."
Suddenly realizing she was to strip down, being in view of land removing her top was hard for her. Years of tradition warred with her desire to continue. Once she removed her nightdress she folded it carefully and set it aside. Doing the same with her underclothes. Looking up at Iris's voice, "Whom do you bring with you, Sister?"
Continuing in a ritual rhythm Sasha Sedai replied, "One who comes as candidate for Acceptance, Sister."
"Is she ready?" Iris asked formally.
"She is ready to leave behind what she was, and, passing through her fears, gain Acceptance."
"Does she know her fears?" came Iris's next question.
"She has never faced them, but now is willing."
"Then let her face what she fears." Was Iris's final statement.
"The first time is for what was. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast." Sasha Sedai said as she led Rohr to the first arch.
Taking a deep breath Rohr stepped through into the light, as it seemed to swallow her and fill her all at once.
"Evening Wind? Are you not feeling well?"
Slightly confused Rohr looked at the woman speaking to her, the WaveMistress of her clan of Somarin and SailMistress of the Raker she was Windfinder for. Her closest friend Sariar din Boraill Night Waves. "No Sariar I am fine." Taking a sip of the honeyed wine Rohr wondered how she came to be a Windfinder.
The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.
It was a voice she could not place. But yet felt she should know it somehow. The words ... Shaking her head she looked at Sariar and smiled. "I can not believe all of this. It seems so unreal to me."
"Rohr? What does?"
"This," Rohr's reply came as she motioned to the ship around her. "Being Windfinder to you my friend and the WaveMistress of Somarin."
"We have been working together for years Evening Wind. This still all amazes you? Are you sure you are not ill? We have been on Wind-dancer this Raker for many years."
Suddenly the Raker shifted unexpectedly. Looking up Rohr considered going up on deck to see if the deck girl who she was training in the ways of Windfinding needed help. "I should go up on deck Sariar, to see all is well."
"Sit friend, all is well or they would have sent for us." Changing the subject Sariar said, "I have noticed Dariom, our Swordmaster watching closely and protectively Rohr. I do believe he loves you. He will make Master of Blades for Somarin one day Rohr. He would be a good match for you."
Shaking her head she smiled, "I do not wish family and love Sariar. I love what I do I love being on the seas and finding the winds for our sails. The sea and Wind-dancer are my love and family...." her words were cut off as the ship shifted and lurched again. "Sariar, I feel no storm with in miles of us. We should not be lurching about so."
"I will go up and see to things. You stay here and rest I do not believe you are well."
Watching her friend leave to go up deck Rohr stood and paced her quarters. Something felt completely wrong about this. Maybe it was the night...
The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.
Ignoring the words again Rohr caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror on the cabin wall. Five earrings in each ear with her nose chain and a chain connecting the earrings on each of her ears. Awe struck Rohr looked at herself. I do not recall earning all of this. Something pulled at Rohr's memory but she could not quite place it. Of course you remember earning all of this. You studied hard and worked hard to earn you way to be Windfinder. From the day you became deck girl you worked for all of this.
The boat lurched harder this time. Sariar had not come down to let her know all is well. Going up on deck Rohr found nothing amiss. Sariar was talking to the Cargomaster, most likely about where they would be going to port next. Going to the front of the Raker Rohr let the wind go through her long dark locks brushing her hair away from her breasts. It felt odd being with out her top after so many years. Shaking that though out of her head again, You do this every night Rohr. It is the way you feel one with the sea and wind.
Not knowing what was causing her to feel this way Rohr walked over to Sariar who had finished her conversation. "Sariar, you may be right, I am not quite feeling myself tonight. I am going below decks. If you need me for anything I will be in my cabin."
Sariar nodded at her and Rohr returned to her cabin. Everything seemed in place and as it should be but still felt like she was just out of place. She could not put a finger on it. Readying herself for bed... Now this seems oddly familiar as if I had done this already today. Shaking her head again she knew she had not, once in bed Rohr feel easily asleep.
Thwump!
A loud noise woke Rohr suddenly. According to the position of the stars outside her cabin's small window she had been asleep only about three candlemarks. She could hear commotion up on the deck and at first did not hear anything to concern her. After all they would come down to get her when she was needed. Frowning she could feel something amiss still. Suddenly she smelled fire and the commotion up deck grew louder. Putting breeches on Rohr quickly went up on deck. What she found there nearly caused her to panic. Seanchan. Her people were fighting the Seanchan trying to prevent them from coming on deck. It had been to late though they had boarded. Some of the deck crew were fighting the Seanchan that had come on deck while others tried to put the fire our in the main sail. Frowning Rohr quickly went to find Sariar. Finding her on the port side, opposite to the side the Seanchan ship attacked, cornered by two men who had boarded their decks. Not another crewmember was near her. "How dare you not ask permission or bargain for passage upon Wind-dancer. You threaten the wrong woman on this ship." Rohr said angrily. Both men turned to her at the same time, swords drawn. A woman's sharp voice, coming from behind Rohr halted them from attacking her, "Not that one, she will be damane." Turning towards the woman Rohr noticed that she wore a long gray robe with lightening bolts down the sides. She was carrying an a'dam. Rohr knew what that would do to her. Stepping back so that she could look at Sariar and back at the Seanchan woman Rohr was torn between helping her friend and near sister. Sariar was as close to her as a sister of the blood, if not closer. She could not, would not leave her to be killed.
"Rohr go, now! Save yourself, my friend what this woman holds can bring you to your worse fears. "
Shaking her head at her friend she said, "I will not leave you to this fate alone Sariar." Before she realized what she was doing Rohr was bringing on a storm from the seas, a violent one causing the Raker to lurch and shudder at the winds. She would not allow Wind-dancer or any of her crew to be lost to these Seanchan. The Raker lurched again causing the woman in the gray dress to stumble.
The way back comes but once...
Suddenly remembering what that meant Rohr looked behind her and between her and the railing of the ship she saw a shimmering archway. No, she cried out in her mind. I must not abandon my people, my honor.
Looking back at Sariar she could see one of the Seanchan men starting towards her throat with a knife.
"Nooooo!" Tears forming in her eyes Rohr could hear Sariar struggle against her attacker. Torn between returning and helping her friend she took a step to help her Sailmistress. The arch behind her flickering slightly...
Be steadfast.
Wanting to help her friend as she cried out, Rohr turned and forced herself to go through the arch, tears falling down her face in shame for abandoning her honor and friend.
As she stepped through the archway her memories of being a novice came crashing back overwhelming her. Sobbing Rohr did not even notice Iris Sedai emptying the first chalice over her head, "You are washed clean, of what sin you may have done, and of those done against you. You are washed clean of what crime you may have committed, and of those committed against you. You come to us washed clean and pure, in heart and soul."
Sasha walked up to Rohr and began leading her towards the second arch. Sobbing Rohr asked, "Please, is it real? Did I really go through...." Tears from her crying cut off anything Rohr finished saying.
"Every woman who has come out of these arches has asked the same thing Rohr. There is no answer, no one knows. It has been speculated that it may be real and that those who stay found a happier place to be. But no one knows for sure."
Coming to the second arch Sasha said, "The second time is for what is. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast."
Calming herself with a deep breath to stop the tears Rohr thought, It cannot be worse than abandoning my dream and honor of being windfinder. She stepped into the opaque light letting it consume her once again.
Glancing down at the dress Rohr smiled at her reflection. She looked beautiful in a white and silver laced dress. She could not believe she had finally agreed to settle down and leave the tower after years of service. al'Dell Brandstone had been after her for years to return with him to his estates in the borderland of Shienar. As her bonded Warder Rohr had only ever considered him her friend and companion. Little did she realize how much he meant to her. Today they would finally be married. Smiling she still could not believe nor understand how the man had stole away into her heart and taken it for his own. She had not been an easily won love. Years Dell had been telling her he loved her and she always laughed it off or simply smiled at him. He had persisted though and finally won her heart.
A soft knock on the door and Ariadne entered smiling. Her closest friend had traveled here from the tower leaving her current duties as Aes Sedai on hold to be here with her. Smiling at her friend in return Rohr could not help but remember the first thing the two of them ever did together. Giggling Rohr remembered the horse and Iris Sedai's reaction. "Ari, do you remember Iris's horse?"
Laughing Ariadne Sedai nodded, " I do, it was the both of us, Ceb, and Araya. We must have shocked Iris so. For she set us to cleaning the stable from top to bottom."
Smiling at Ariadne she remembered all that the four of them had gone through. They were a close foursome, even though they were not all of the same Ajah. They had pursued many pranks after the horse prank together, but the first one was the one that brought them together as friends. Smiling she wish all four of them could be here for her wedding. She was glad Ariadne was able to make it to the borderlands. Memories that Rohr felt were hers yet weren't quite hers overwhelmed her. Many years of working and spreading knowledge to the people in the land. In a way as a Blue she had done something a Brown would do. Smiling she had done so much to help the people and now here she was about to become a Lord's wife. She would never be able to accept the title of Lady, Aes Sedai was what she preferred and always would.
The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.
Looking around she asked Ariadne, "Did you hear that Ari? As if I was a novice again."
"Hear what Rohr? It is only you and me here and I have not heard anything other than what we have spoken."
"Must be nothing." Smiling again Rohr looked at her friend nervously. "So do you think you can do something with my long hair?"
Smiling Ariadne said, "Of course. We didn't spend hours as Accepted talking the night away over what we were going to go when we became Aes Sedai, doing each other's hair for me not to know what I can do with your hair."
Hugging her friend then sitting in front of the elegant maple vanity with reflective glass Rohr watched as Ariadne twisted her hair in to soft ringlet curls and piled them on top of her head. A second knock tapped her chamber door and Rohr turned to see her personal lady in waiting entered. All these things Rohr was still trying to get used to, servants and people to wait on your every whim. "Yes, Meleni. Is everything ready?"
"Yes m'lady."
Frowning Rohr repeated what she had told the girl probably about two dozen times that day, "Meleni, if you must use a title Aes Sedai is the one to use. Please call me Rohr."
"Yes Aes Sedai. Everyone awaits you." Came the reply from Meleni. Rohr knew it would be m'lady again the next time the girl addressed her and she would only go to Aes Sedai if Rohr said something. Rohr found it rather tiresome. She was used to doing things for herself and working for everything you have and honor in life. Looking at Ariadne she waited for her friend to lead the way....
The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.
Ignoring the voice in her head Rohr followed Ariadne to the top of the stairs. She could feel every eye in the manor on her. Taking a deep breath she smiled looking down at Dell waiting to meet her at the bottom of the stairs....
The ceremony went by faster than Rohr could realize. The day seemed to be speeding up as it continued. Sitting at her husband side Rohr looked at Dell and smiled. You could see the happiness on his face and in every move he made. Listening to toast after toast Rohr picked at her meal. She was never that comfortable being the center of attention and this was exactly what she was that day. Looking to her left she spoke softly to Ariadne, "I can not wait for this evening to be over with Sister."
Knowing Rohr's shyness Ariadne smiled, "The meal is almost over and once the dancing begins you can slip away for some quiet time. After the first dance slip away from Dell and I will send him to meet you upstairs."
Smiling at her friend she nodded and whispered, "Thank you."
Finishing her meal and enjoying the rest of the festivities around the table Rohr gladly took Dell's hand when he offered it to her for a dance. Following him into the ballroom Rohr let him lead her in the first dance of the night. Smiling up to him she whispered, "Do you realize this is the first time we have been alone to talk since we became husband and wife?"
Chuckling he kissed her softly before saying, "I do my love. But once tonight is over we will have many moments to spend together without our company."
Leaning her head against his chest she closed her eyes and let him lead her around the dance floor. She remembered back to the first time they met. She was only thirteen, a girl and novice. She had gone into the town to sit at the Inn where many from the tower go to relax and join each other's company. He had introduced himself and from that point they had been friends ever since. It began more like him watching over the young girl. Once she had become Accepted they had run off together to visit their homes. They had been gone nearly three months before an Aes Sedai hauled Rohr back off to the tower. Then as an Aes Sedai Rohr had asked if he would become her Warder and allow her to bond him. To this day she can still sense where he is with out having to see him. As the music ended so did their dance. Many of their friends wanted to dance with Rohr and Dell reluctantly allowed them to. After about two songs Rohr caught Ari's eye and nodded that she would be upstairs.
Pleading off other offers to dance Rohr finally retreated up the stairs unnoticed. She knew he would know to find her in the library. Compared to the Tower library theirs was smaller, but it was her favorite room from the entire estate. She remembered the day Dell approached her with plans to build the home. He included the library for her to be able to continue pursuing her cause for knowledge for the people. Leaning against her desk Rohr waited for her husband to come to her. She could hear the festivities below the music the laughter the screaming?
The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.
Screaming? Confused Rohr quickly went to the top of the stairs and found chaos. There were Trollocs and Myddraal fighting with guards and warders. Looking around quickly for her husband Rohr found him fighting a Trolloc. Watching him cut the creature down he turned towards the stairwell in her direction. She knew he could fend for himself. Trying to embrace the source Rohr found she could not do so. Panic raced through her as she watched as her friends fought the Trollocs and she could not do anything to help. She rushed back to her chambers and grabbed her fighting knives. She was glad she had learned to use these properly.
Hurrying back to the chaos below Rohr suddenly saw an arch flicker just outside of her vision. Looking in its direction she frowned and rushed down the stairs to join in the fighting. She could hear the fighting and could sense the use of saidar. It frustrated her she could not embrace the source. It was if she could sense it but could not embrace it. Not like a block or a shield of any kind.
The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.
Frowning again at the arch that seemed to appear over her left shoulder, suddenly she could sense Dell's frustration. Looking around for him she rested her eyes on him in the corner fighting off two Myddraal. She knew from his past that he could kill one as long as it was the only thing he was fighting but two? Watching as he backed away from their blows Rohr realized he was not going to be able to get away unless he killed them. Trying with all her might to embrace saidar Rohr cried out angrily. "Just let me save him curse you!"
Be steadfast.
Tears falling in anger Rohr glanced at the arch and watched it flicker. "No, not yet I need to help here. Please a few moments and an allowance to channel."
As a trolloc lunged at her Rohr took her eye's off her Warder for just long enough to take her fighting knife, thrust it at the beast and twist it as she pushed it deeper and upward in the creature. It howled in pain and ran from her. One thing she never understood about trollocs was their cowardice and unless pushed to fight they would run.
She waited a brief moment and tried to channel again, but to no avail she could not. Turning in the direction of her warder and husband Rohr watched Dell fall to one knee as a Myddraal's sword caught his calf. "No, please..." she begged. Looking at the arch she forced herself to walk in its direction. Before she stepped through she turned to look at Dell and saw the second Myddraal cut his throat. "Noooooooo...." she screamed as she stepped through the archway not knowing if he would survive the attack.
"This can not be. I could have saved him..." Looking at the woman before her angrily Rohr suddenly broke into tears sobbing. "It so unfair."
Cold water washed the still falling tears from her eyes. "You are washed clean of false pride, you are washed clean of false ambition. You come to us washed clean, in heart and soul." Iris looked at her with sympathy showing in her eyes. Rohr sobbed as Sasha led her around to the third arch.
This one is the last one and the worst one. For the light what could be worse than abandoning my honor, my friends, my love?
Sasha waited a few brief moments and allowed Rohr to calm her sobbing and to stop the flow of tears. Taking a few deep breaths as Sasha Sedai said, "The third time is for what will be. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast."
Swallowing her crying Rohr stepped through the last and final arch.
Looking down at the ground Rohr wondered where she was. It was dark and late. Looking down at the parchment in her hand she suddenly remembered what she had come to do. Hurrying she rushed away from the tower and the island of Tar Valon. Once she was across the bridge Rohr embraced saidar allowing her senses to guide her careful along the water's edge away from the town of Luagde. Going north away from where anyone could see her. Once she had walked far enough that she could not see the lights of Luagde nor of the island city. She knew she was alone and channeled fire towards the parchment. Sitting down she waited. She may be alone but she knew they would find her. Not matters of moments they arrived by gateway. Cloaked in black as Rohr herself was.
"You wished to speak to me Night Wind."
Confusion Rohr wondered why this person addressed her as Night Wind when she was Evening Wind, "I am called Evening Wind by only my closest friends."
Deep mocking laughter came from the woman in front of her. "If you wish to still cling to pretenses because you are close to the Tower girl you may. But come two nights from now you will be sealed to us.
"Sealed to who?" Rohr demanded.
The laughter spread from the woman in front of her to the others in the group. Anger crossed Rohr's face as they mocked her. Her memory was not hers, did they mean... She was willingly going to become a darkfriend? A member of the Black Ajah. Giving up the Ajah and the work she did for the tower? Suddenly she remembered. She was going to forsake the light. Backing away from the group Rohr realized this and that she would go by Night Wind when she swore her new oaths and embraced channeling the True Power. Panic suddenly overwhelmed her she could not do this. Fear at the woman in front of her.
"Did you suddenly change your mind Rohr?" Laughing mockingly again the woman continued, "You can not change your mind, you are known to him now girl. We will come for you whether you come to us willingly or we force you. It will be easier for you to come with us on your own accord."
The woman opened a gateway and the group, thirteen at Rohr's count returned from where they came. Falling to her knee's Rohr cried. How could I do this, this is not real. I would never... Suddenly Rohr knew what she could do. Standing and running back towards the Tower and the bridge leading from Luagde to return to the city. Running as fast as she could she raced through the town causing the town folks who were still up and about to whisper. She abandoned all Aes Sedai calm and serenity. She had to get herself out of this and the one person she knew could help her, the Amyrlin, Clara Sedai.
Rohr raced through Tar Valon desperately as if the Black Ajah was chasing her already. Thankfully it was late and though there were still dwellers up in the gate city of Luagde Rohr found most of the streets in Tar Valon empty. And those that appeared to have people walking in them Rohr went around through the gates of the White Tower and up the stairs. Knocking on the outer door of the Amyrlin's office Rohr did not wait to see if the Keeper was still in her office. Relieved to find Brevalin Sedai not around Rohr knocked on Clara Sedai's office door. Hearing a tired voice call for her to enter Rohr took a deep breath and entered. Curtsying slightly Rohr waited for Clara to finish what she was working on. Once she was finished she looked up and said, "Rohr Sedai, how can I help you tonight. It is late."
"Mother, I'm in trouble. Forgive me please, I have done a terrible thing."
"Daughter what is it?" Clara asked her concern showing only slightly on her perfect Aes Sedai calm.
"In two days from now thirteen sisters will come for me. Thirteen, to change my oaths to the Dark One." Swallowing Rohr could not look the woman across from her in the eyes.
"How did you come to learn this Rohr?" The question still did not reveal the Amyrlin's thoughts or emotions on the subject.
"I asked them to do so."
Silence, Rohr did not look up but felt the shame go through her. Suddenly out of the top of her vision Rohr noticed the glow of saidar surround Clara. Shock Rohr reached for saidar to protect what ever might be done to her and found herself blocked from the source. That surprised her even more.
"I came to you because I do not wish it Mother. I have changed my mind." Rohr pleaded hoping the woman would believe her.
Clara just looked at her eyes full of hatred, accusing hatred. Rohr knew she would not be believed. She suddenly felt bonds of air tighten around her and gag her so she could not speak any further. "You may not address me as Mother any longer Dark Friend." Feeling the bonds of Air push her to her feet Rohr simply nodded. If Clara Sedai wished to accuse her and have her sentenced to death because of what she did, Rohr deserved it. It may be the only way to avoid being turned to the Dark One anyhow. Tears falling down her face in shame and anger Rohr walked in the direction the bonds of Air pushed her. It was late and Rohr was glad she and Clara were the only ones walking through the halls. The shame from the accusing looks in her eyes tore at Rohr's heart. How did I get myself into this mess? I would never decide to choose this path, how could this have happened.
Reaching the bottom lowest part of the tower Rohr was lead into the cell where she would be kept until she was put to face the Hall. Rohr stood there watching as Clara closed the door leaving her alone. The bonds of air were not released and Rohr knew they would not be until another sister came to stand guard on her. It seemed hours before she felt the bonds loosen and she could sit again. A voice came down the stairwell, one she did not know well. "Turned yourself in Rohr? A noble, honorable gesture." It mocked her sarcastically.
Rohr did not attempt to reach for saidar or ask to be let go. She was accepting her fate as it was given to her. Sleeping for a few unrestful hours Rohr woke to a figure cloaked in black. It was the same woman who had caused her to tell the Amyrlin. "Foolish girl. If they still you before you are sentenced to death the Dark One will not bring you to him. If they are not smart they will just sentence you to death. This way your soul will be His."
Whispering Rohr said angrily, "How did you get in here, in the tower? Leave me. I do not wish to belong to the Lord of the Dark. I will choose death over him."
The deep mocking laughter came from her, "Do you think death will keep him from you Night Wind. You have already given him your soul. You forsake the light, even now as you desperately wish it not so. It is to late, much to late."
The next day Rohr was dragged from her cell and taken to the Hall of the Tower, to face her accusations of being a dark friend. When she arrived she could not look at a single person in the hall. She was shamed beyond belief. She did not know if she was going to have a chance to say anything in her defense. Nor did she really have anything to say. Rohr had done the only thing in her life she vowed never to do. She gave up hope, gave up fighting for what was right, she gave up believing in anything. Head down defeated Rohr stood before the Hall as Brevlain announced Clara's arrival as Amyrlin, and as Clara went through the motions of her conviction. The only time Rohr's head looked up was when she was asked if she had anything to say in her defense. Looking up in surprise at Clara Rohr said, "I only wish this to be over. No matter your decision I can not stop them from coming for me either in life nor in death." Tears caused by her despondency Rohr looked down. She did not have to hear what came next. Rohr knew she would be sentence to death on the following morning.
Rohr did not fight as the led her away back to the cell where she would spend her last night. It was a restless night and she could not sleep. Nightmares of being turned to the dark haunted her along with the hatred in the Amrylin's eyes. She had been stripped of shawl, ring and title and would be put to death. As day broke the sky Rohr sat up and stretched, she wondered if her Warder had been told of the day's events yet and what they were doing to restrain him.
The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.
Her head came up at once hearing those words. She knew them, remembered them. Looking around frantically Rohr searched for the arch that should appear with them. She knew that this was all not real. She knew she would never become a dark friend willingly or turn her back on her friends and the Tower. A guard of Sitters came down the stairwell to move Rohr to the courtyard where she would be publicly executed. Panic filled Rohr, The arch where is the arch.
Pleading Rohr cried tears of frustration, "Please a few moments. I need just a few moments."
"You had your chance Rohr din Quirra. You chose the dark now you pay the price. The Tower does not allow dark friends in our midst. There is no time now, you will come with us."
Sobbing Rohr looked around for the arch. This could not be happening, if they killed her she would never return. "No please, I am not a dark friend, I would never. Please, someone believe me."
No one listened to her instead they bound her and gagged her with Air and carried her up to the courtyard where a hanging noose was already set up. Trying to fight with in the weaves of Air Rohr desperately tried to get away. The harder she fought the harder the flows tightened. Sobbing so that her whole body was racked with dreadful shaking Rohr had to find away to the arch. It had to appear.
They stood her on a stool and wrapped the noose around her neck. Fear raced through Rohr as time seemed to slow down. This could not be happening. The denouncement of her being a dark friend seemed to go on forever. She could not even focus on the words.
The way back will come but once. Be steadfast
Screaming on the inside Rohr looked frantic as the words appeared in her head again. Suddenly the arches appeared. Directly in front of her they flickered. The unfairness of it all, if I don't step through they will kick the stool out from under me and I die. If I step through it I step off the stool and risk hanging myself. Torn between the decision Rohr looked around desperately.
Be steadfast.
Willing to risk it all Rohr did the unthinkable and stepped off the stool towards the arch. Feeling the tightness of the noose begin to stop her breathing Rohr blacked out.
Stumbling out of the arch gasping for air Rohr fell to her knees coughing and gulping the air. Iris Sedai helped her to her feet and led her to stand in front of Clara Sedai. Remember, Rohr kneeled in front of the woman down on her knees again. The Amrylin stood there with the last chalice in her hands. A sitter from each Ajah to each side of her each wearing their shawls formally.
Sobbing at the realization of where she was Rohr looked at Clara and in a barely audible whisper said, "I am sorry. I promise that I would never..."
"Shhh now. It is over and you do not need to talk of it. Each woman's fears are their own."
In a formal voice Clara continued while pouring the last chalice over Rohr's head, "You are washed clean of Rohr din Quirra of the Atha'an Miere. You are washed clean of all ties that bind you to the world. You come to us washed clean, in heart and soul. You are Rohr din Quirra, Accepted of the White Tower. You are sealed to us, now."
Clara handed the chalice to Iris Sedai and took a gold ring in the shape of a serpent biting its own tail. Slipping it on Rohr's third finger on her left hand indicating Acceptance. Once Rohr was raised Aes Sedai she would be allowed to wear it on any finger she chose. Clara helped her to her feet. "Welcome Daughter." Kissing her cheek then the other, "Welcome."
Tears still falling from her face Rohr took the Accepted dress that was handed to her and slipped it over her head. Then being allowed to return to her room Rohr quickly and quietly returned gathered her things and moved them to her new room. As soon as she was finished Rohr climbed the ramps to the upper levels of the tower and found the empty and unused office she went to often. Walking through the dimly lit room Rohr let herself out on the balcony that over looked the city towards the west and south. This place had come to be her favorite thinking spot.
Rohr stood there letting the tears fall allowing herself to feel everything she had just faced. She vowed that she would never be any of the three things she saw...