Disclaimer: I do not own Lizzie McGuire, or anything to do with Disney and
the top I am wearing (it's a friend's).
Gordo's Point of View
I think I'm in love with this girl. No. I am in love with this girl. Congratulations, good for you and you're so lucky would all be nice to hear, but this girl I'm in love with - she doesn't know. No one knows. I didn't even know until a few months ago, I'm in love and it's the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I'm so stupid to even be thinking it. And, if.if she knew, God, if she knew she would never forgive me. I have a girlfriend she is beautiful and kind and great; I admit at one point I did love her too, deeply for the longest time. But as soon as I got her I started falling all over again. I don't feel that love as much anymore because it's not love, it's anything but love. My girlfriend if she knew, I don't know what would happen. I loathe the thought and despite thinking about it. I would lose her as well; I'll lose everything that ever mattered to me. If Lizzie found out I was in love with someone else, she would cry until her heart was too sad to ever cry a second longer. I would break her heart and she would be more hurt than anyone else in the world could hurt her. And just as a bonus knowing whom this new girl was, she would want to die. I pictured the scene, trying to decide which would be less painful; but do I really expect to lie to her after happily ever after? Do I leave Lizzie for someone I really love, or do I sacrifice my happiness for Lizzie's?
She kissed my cheek. "Happy birthday. Eighteen years! Hm, I don't believe it Gordo, one year older and six months of being together." "Yeah, it doesn't seem real." Lizzie's happiness made my guilt seem so selfish "And don't worry I have a very, very special gift for you." She said extremely seductively.
Oh shit. Maybe I should add Lizzie and I hadn't had sex before. I had kept putting off, finding clever excuses in leaving our dates and even setting my pager to beep in the middle of a date, so I could get way. Plenty of making out, but I couldn't sleep with Lizzie, It wouldn't have been right, and I couldn't do that to her. She had always wanted to be with a guy that loved her and she loved in return. I would never been as cruel as to take that away from her. If I did sleep with Lizzie I wouldn't enjoy it and I would feel guilty taking her virginity away, well actually I wasn't really sure if she was a virgin, she had dated a lot and it wasn't really a question or subject I wanted to bring up, because than I know she would wonder why after so long we hadn't yet done it. I wished I could have been honest.
"A gift?" I said nervously gulping at the same time, trying to back away. She got up from the sofa and stood directly in front of me. She grabbed my shirt and straddled me. "Gordo we have been together for six months, why haven't we. you know?" "Sexual intercourse!!!!!!!!!" "Chill Gordo." "Sex! Is that what you really want?" " I've wanted that from day one. I love you Gordo, I want this."
Oh shit. She was on top of me so I couldn't hit my pager or play my cell phones' ring. I couldn't think straight to think of some excuse to leave and praying was to no avail. But coincidence was on my side. BANG! "Hey birthday boy!" Miranda belted out. My poor front door had been so forcefully flung back that I feared it was no longer attached to the wall.
"Oh look Miranda is here. Here is Miranda. Lets stop what we are doing and greet Miranda." I said very relieved and with a hint of sarcasm.
Lizzie dismounted me and I hurried to Miranda and gave her a very over jested hug, Miranda was taken a back and gave me a shocked look as I squeezed her tightly her. She resisted at first but gave in, and returned my hug by wrapping her arms around me and putting her head on my shoulder.
"Has Lizzie been giving you a happy Gordo?" She asked me jokingly as we the hug ceased. A noticeable action caught my attention in the mirror behind Miranda, I saw Lizzie throw her hands in the air looking very pissed off at Miranda. She mouthed silently 'Miranda! What are you doing?' Thinking that I hadn't seen Miranda try to hide her comment.
"I mean, happy birthday Gordo! I got you a present." She pulled out a gift from her bag. "Thanks Miranda." I said gratefully and gladly. I observed the crinkled paper, bits of re-used paper clung to it and flimsy corners were left unfolded. Christmas, birthday and happy New Year greeting were darted around on some of the wrapping. It didn't matter what was inside, it was adorable just to look at it, and know that Miranda Sanchez was happy I was born. "Aren't you gonna open it?" She asked curiously. "You just being here is a gift."
Yes if it obvious yet, I'm in love with Miranda. Someone I never thought I could be in love with. She's too free, too unafraid. I don't know but sometimes her courage was intimidating, it wasn't like I was scare, I was just unsure. When I had fell for Lizzie it had been so different, almost more predictable, but you see Miranda was the opposite, she wasn't predictable and I couldn't have guessed her reaction. It was something I was nearly ashamed of; I had hidden it for so long I thought it might, maybe, just go away. Maybe it was a little phase I was going through, but I knew it wasn't when I couldn't kiss Lizzie anymore; well not unless I was thinking about Miranda. I felt I was betraying Lizzie and all along, she didn't even have the slightly clue, not even the slightest.
"Aw, you're so sweet Gordo, and you're a great friend."
Friends. Forever friends. Friends forever. I felt like screaming at her to not remind me that we were just friends and that we would only ever be friends. That word circling in my head, and the thin line that divided two strong emotions. All circling in my head making me feel dizzy and noxious.
Lizzie came up behind me and put her hand on my shoulder and I could feel her breathe on my neck. But I was hard to notice Lizzie when Miranda stood only inches away from me. Miranda drew her eyes to the floor and her dark hair stroked her cheek. I could see her eyes flutter open and shut. I was studying every part of her face. It all became slow motion. She smiled a little and ran straight pass me to sit her self on the sofa. Leaving me there with images dancing around me. Lizzie was still behind and she asked in a whisper if I was okay. Hm. What a stupid question. I wasn't okay I was conflicted, I was driving myself insane and Miranda was intoxicating. She was filling the hole inside. Now, I hadn't deserted Lizzie, I loved her very much, but it all had become so old so fast, she didn't excite me anymore. It was prefect when we had started out; there was nothing more I wanted to do than spent time with Lizzie, we couldn't keep our hands off each other. But whenever Miranda was near I would ignore Lizzie and I had been completely infatuated with Miranda, I wanted to know everything I could possibly learn from her, about her. It was like I loved Lizzie, but I loved Miranda more. When you develop an infatuation with someone you always find your self searching for a reason to be with that person, that this was the person you were meant to be with, now this reason doesn't have to be a good one, but in the haze of infatuation it makes so much sense, you think you were blind not to have since it before. Now in the long run it would probably be the stupid reason you would break up, but that wasn't important, after it nothing would be solved, but nothing mattered, because unrequited love makes it seem that much more wroth it.
Lizzie took my hand in hers and led me to the sofa. Lizzie sat on the edge of the sofa, forcing me to sit in the middle between them.
"Alright guys, in honour of Gordo's birthday we are watching a movie, going to a restaurant and than hitting the clubs. The movie is an old classic in my opinion, and it is.Aladdin!" Miranda announced "Aladdin?" Lizzie and I replied together. "Yes, in remembrance, of the good old days." Miranda said playfully.
She pushed the video in the VCR, and picked the remote to play. Miranda has aspects about her that were unique. Lizzie would never have wanted to watch Aladdin; she would have cared too much what people thought. Even when it was just Miranda and I she always seemed to feel she had to act older than she was. It pissed me off sometimes, but Lizzie had done some great things, we had learnt a lot together.
Sitting so close to Miranda was awkward, I cursed to myself, why could this have just have been simple, why couldn't this have never happen, Lizzie and I would have been happy, if anything was right with the world then falling for Miranda would never have happened and then something would have turned out the way we planned. I just wanted to forget these feelings. I just wanted my best friend to be happy; it's all I've wanted for her. The movie had just got to the part where Jasmine and Aladdin met for the first time, when it occurred to me that love goes as quickly as it comes, I mean I always knew that but it never made any real or useful sense, but it just takes an animated love story to change everything. Turning to Lizzie I remembered that first wonderful moment when she told me she loved me. She was beautiful, her lip-gloss sparkled and I gazed directly in her eyes, I could see Aladdin in the refection, I leaned down and kissed her, praying that I would feel that feeling once again.
"Oi, you guys no lip smacking." Miranda said without her eyes ever leaving the screen.
My eyes were completely open as Lizzie wrapped her arms around my neck and pushed me closer to her. Her eyes were closed and she couldn't see me watching her. She opened her mouth and I didn't give in. I froze. It just didn't feel right anymore, it was like I was faking it with her. But I remembered what it used to feel like, how fantastic it had been before this complication. I wanted to feel it again so badly I would even lie to her. I wanted to know if that fire we had was gone. I shut my eyes fiercely and thrusted my body against hers', my lips pushed against hers, I entered my tongue and gave her a deep fiery kiss, burning with passion and heat. She moaned softly, and it lasted a couple of minutes. We parted slowly she began to say something.
"That was.." She was searching for the right word. "Loud, and very unsettling." Miranda interrupted still her eyes never left the screen. "Amazing." Lizzie said quietly.
It was a nice kiss, rougher then usual. I didn't want to lose Lizzie, everything we had done together and been through made me who I was. Lizzie took her hand in mine and we finished the rest of the movie. Her touch was smooth, and she laid her head on my lap. She was actually kinda turning me, which I thought was good news. Miranda caught my eye, she looked at us angrily and suddenly.
"Gordo!" Miranda came out randomly "Kitchen. Now!" "Not a good time Miranda." I said dismissing her and began stroking Lizzie's face. " Please Gordo." She gave me a puzzling look.
What the hell was the point in refusing, she knew I would give in, I do anything for her, worst of all, she knew it too.
I lifted Lizzie's head gently and slipped out from under her. I followed her into the kitchen. Her jeans were low on her hips and her top barely covered her. She was so damn sexy. "Gordo?" She asked me plainly. "Miranda?" I replied unimpressed. "I didn't want to ask, I've been avoiding it for a long time." "Miranda..." I said playfully. "You can tell me, I mean I would understand." "Miranda?" I said a little more unease. "Why haven't you guys.you know Lizzie and you.why haven't you like.."
Oh shit. Please don't say it, please, please, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!
"Fucked!" "You know about that?" I said sweating and edgy. "Course I know. It's me Miranda, you know your girlfriend's best friend." " I don't know Miranda!" "Well I think I should tell you, its like your guy's anniversary, she was kinda it would happen. But don't say anything to her." "I can't believe it, me! You know, me, Gordo is being pushed into this." "Gordo no one is pushing you into doing anything. You always have a choice." "A choice? Thanks Miranda." She went forward to hug me. She wrapped her arms around me and I pulled her tightly next to me. Her stomach pressed against mine and I kissed her cheek.
"Go get your girlfriend, it's meal time." "Okay." I stood still in front of her. " Gordo, I'm not your girlfriend." She giggled and pointed to the sofa.
Oh shit. That was close. I quickly walked away and stood over Lizzie. She was still lying down half asleep. I kneeled down so I was level with her face. I kissed her warm lips
"It's birthday dinner time, then we are hitting a club."
Gordo's Point of View
I think I'm in love with this girl. No. I am in love with this girl. Congratulations, good for you and you're so lucky would all be nice to hear, but this girl I'm in love with - she doesn't know. No one knows. I didn't even know until a few months ago, I'm in love and it's the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I'm so stupid to even be thinking it. And, if.if she knew, God, if she knew she would never forgive me. I have a girlfriend she is beautiful and kind and great; I admit at one point I did love her too, deeply for the longest time. But as soon as I got her I started falling all over again. I don't feel that love as much anymore because it's not love, it's anything but love. My girlfriend if she knew, I don't know what would happen. I loathe the thought and despite thinking about it. I would lose her as well; I'll lose everything that ever mattered to me. If Lizzie found out I was in love with someone else, she would cry until her heart was too sad to ever cry a second longer. I would break her heart and she would be more hurt than anyone else in the world could hurt her. And just as a bonus knowing whom this new girl was, she would want to die. I pictured the scene, trying to decide which would be less painful; but do I really expect to lie to her after happily ever after? Do I leave Lizzie for someone I really love, or do I sacrifice my happiness for Lizzie's?
She kissed my cheek. "Happy birthday. Eighteen years! Hm, I don't believe it Gordo, one year older and six months of being together." "Yeah, it doesn't seem real." Lizzie's happiness made my guilt seem so selfish "And don't worry I have a very, very special gift for you." She said extremely seductively.
Oh shit. Maybe I should add Lizzie and I hadn't had sex before. I had kept putting off, finding clever excuses in leaving our dates and even setting my pager to beep in the middle of a date, so I could get way. Plenty of making out, but I couldn't sleep with Lizzie, It wouldn't have been right, and I couldn't do that to her. She had always wanted to be with a guy that loved her and she loved in return. I would never been as cruel as to take that away from her. If I did sleep with Lizzie I wouldn't enjoy it and I would feel guilty taking her virginity away, well actually I wasn't really sure if she was a virgin, she had dated a lot and it wasn't really a question or subject I wanted to bring up, because than I know she would wonder why after so long we hadn't yet done it. I wished I could have been honest.
"A gift?" I said nervously gulping at the same time, trying to back away. She got up from the sofa and stood directly in front of me. She grabbed my shirt and straddled me. "Gordo we have been together for six months, why haven't we. you know?" "Sexual intercourse!!!!!!!!!" "Chill Gordo." "Sex! Is that what you really want?" " I've wanted that from day one. I love you Gordo, I want this."
Oh shit. She was on top of me so I couldn't hit my pager or play my cell phones' ring. I couldn't think straight to think of some excuse to leave and praying was to no avail. But coincidence was on my side. BANG! "Hey birthday boy!" Miranda belted out. My poor front door had been so forcefully flung back that I feared it was no longer attached to the wall.
"Oh look Miranda is here. Here is Miranda. Lets stop what we are doing and greet Miranda." I said very relieved and with a hint of sarcasm.
Lizzie dismounted me and I hurried to Miranda and gave her a very over jested hug, Miranda was taken a back and gave me a shocked look as I squeezed her tightly her. She resisted at first but gave in, and returned my hug by wrapping her arms around me and putting her head on my shoulder.
"Has Lizzie been giving you a happy Gordo?" She asked me jokingly as we the hug ceased. A noticeable action caught my attention in the mirror behind Miranda, I saw Lizzie throw her hands in the air looking very pissed off at Miranda. She mouthed silently 'Miranda! What are you doing?' Thinking that I hadn't seen Miranda try to hide her comment.
"I mean, happy birthday Gordo! I got you a present." She pulled out a gift from her bag. "Thanks Miranda." I said gratefully and gladly. I observed the crinkled paper, bits of re-used paper clung to it and flimsy corners were left unfolded. Christmas, birthday and happy New Year greeting were darted around on some of the wrapping. It didn't matter what was inside, it was adorable just to look at it, and know that Miranda Sanchez was happy I was born. "Aren't you gonna open it?" She asked curiously. "You just being here is a gift."
Yes if it obvious yet, I'm in love with Miranda. Someone I never thought I could be in love with. She's too free, too unafraid. I don't know but sometimes her courage was intimidating, it wasn't like I was scare, I was just unsure. When I had fell for Lizzie it had been so different, almost more predictable, but you see Miranda was the opposite, she wasn't predictable and I couldn't have guessed her reaction. It was something I was nearly ashamed of; I had hidden it for so long I thought it might, maybe, just go away. Maybe it was a little phase I was going through, but I knew it wasn't when I couldn't kiss Lizzie anymore; well not unless I was thinking about Miranda. I felt I was betraying Lizzie and all along, she didn't even have the slightly clue, not even the slightest.
"Aw, you're so sweet Gordo, and you're a great friend."
Friends. Forever friends. Friends forever. I felt like screaming at her to not remind me that we were just friends and that we would only ever be friends. That word circling in my head, and the thin line that divided two strong emotions. All circling in my head making me feel dizzy and noxious.
Lizzie came up behind me and put her hand on my shoulder and I could feel her breathe on my neck. But I was hard to notice Lizzie when Miranda stood only inches away from me. Miranda drew her eyes to the floor and her dark hair stroked her cheek. I could see her eyes flutter open and shut. I was studying every part of her face. It all became slow motion. She smiled a little and ran straight pass me to sit her self on the sofa. Leaving me there with images dancing around me. Lizzie was still behind and she asked in a whisper if I was okay. Hm. What a stupid question. I wasn't okay I was conflicted, I was driving myself insane and Miranda was intoxicating. She was filling the hole inside. Now, I hadn't deserted Lizzie, I loved her very much, but it all had become so old so fast, she didn't excite me anymore. It was prefect when we had started out; there was nothing more I wanted to do than spent time with Lizzie, we couldn't keep our hands off each other. But whenever Miranda was near I would ignore Lizzie and I had been completely infatuated with Miranda, I wanted to know everything I could possibly learn from her, about her. It was like I loved Lizzie, but I loved Miranda more. When you develop an infatuation with someone you always find your self searching for a reason to be with that person, that this was the person you were meant to be with, now this reason doesn't have to be a good one, but in the haze of infatuation it makes so much sense, you think you were blind not to have since it before. Now in the long run it would probably be the stupid reason you would break up, but that wasn't important, after it nothing would be solved, but nothing mattered, because unrequited love makes it seem that much more wroth it.
Lizzie took my hand in hers and led me to the sofa. Lizzie sat on the edge of the sofa, forcing me to sit in the middle between them.
"Alright guys, in honour of Gordo's birthday we are watching a movie, going to a restaurant and than hitting the clubs. The movie is an old classic in my opinion, and it is.Aladdin!" Miranda announced "Aladdin?" Lizzie and I replied together. "Yes, in remembrance, of the good old days." Miranda said playfully.
She pushed the video in the VCR, and picked the remote to play. Miranda has aspects about her that were unique. Lizzie would never have wanted to watch Aladdin; she would have cared too much what people thought. Even when it was just Miranda and I she always seemed to feel she had to act older than she was. It pissed me off sometimes, but Lizzie had done some great things, we had learnt a lot together.
Sitting so close to Miranda was awkward, I cursed to myself, why could this have just have been simple, why couldn't this have never happen, Lizzie and I would have been happy, if anything was right with the world then falling for Miranda would never have happened and then something would have turned out the way we planned. I just wanted to forget these feelings. I just wanted my best friend to be happy; it's all I've wanted for her. The movie had just got to the part where Jasmine and Aladdin met for the first time, when it occurred to me that love goes as quickly as it comes, I mean I always knew that but it never made any real or useful sense, but it just takes an animated love story to change everything. Turning to Lizzie I remembered that first wonderful moment when she told me she loved me. She was beautiful, her lip-gloss sparkled and I gazed directly in her eyes, I could see Aladdin in the refection, I leaned down and kissed her, praying that I would feel that feeling once again.
"Oi, you guys no lip smacking." Miranda said without her eyes ever leaving the screen.
My eyes were completely open as Lizzie wrapped her arms around my neck and pushed me closer to her. Her eyes were closed and she couldn't see me watching her. She opened her mouth and I didn't give in. I froze. It just didn't feel right anymore, it was like I was faking it with her. But I remembered what it used to feel like, how fantastic it had been before this complication. I wanted to feel it again so badly I would even lie to her. I wanted to know if that fire we had was gone. I shut my eyes fiercely and thrusted my body against hers', my lips pushed against hers, I entered my tongue and gave her a deep fiery kiss, burning with passion and heat. She moaned softly, and it lasted a couple of minutes. We parted slowly she began to say something.
"That was.." She was searching for the right word. "Loud, and very unsettling." Miranda interrupted still her eyes never left the screen. "Amazing." Lizzie said quietly.
It was a nice kiss, rougher then usual. I didn't want to lose Lizzie, everything we had done together and been through made me who I was. Lizzie took her hand in mine and we finished the rest of the movie. Her touch was smooth, and she laid her head on my lap. She was actually kinda turning me, which I thought was good news. Miranda caught my eye, she looked at us angrily and suddenly.
"Gordo!" Miranda came out randomly "Kitchen. Now!" "Not a good time Miranda." I said dismissing her and began stroking Lizzie's face. " Please Gordo." She gave me a puzzling look.
What the hell was the point in refusing, she knew I would give in, I do anything for her, worst of all, she knew it too.
I lifted Lizzie's head gently and slipped out from under her. I followed her into the kitchen. Her jeans were low on her hips and her top barely covered her. She was so damn sexy. "Gordo?" She asked me plainly. "Miranda?" I replied unimpressed. "I didn't want to ask, I've been avoiding it for a long time." "Miranda..." I said playfully. "You can tell me, I mean I would understand." "Miranda?" I said a little more unease. "Why haven't you guys.you know Lizzie and you.why haven't you like.."
Oh shit. Please don't say it, please, please, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!
"Fucked!" "You know about that?" I said sweating and edgy. "Course I know. It's me Miranda, you know your girlfriend's best friend." " I don't know Miranda!" "Well I think I should tell you, its like your guy's anniversary, she was kinda it would happen. But don't say anything to her." "I can't believe it, me! You know, me, Gordo is being pushed into this." "Gordo no one is pushing you into doing anything. You always have a choice." "A choice? Thanks Miranda." She went forward to hug me. She wrapped her arms around me and I pulled her tightly next to me. Her stomach pressed against mine and I kissed her cheek.
"Go get your girlfriend, it's meal time." "Okay." I stood still in front of her. " Gordo, I'm not your girlfriend." She giggled and pointed to the sofa.
Oh shit. That was close. I quickly walked away and stood over Lizzie. She was still lying down half asleep. I kneeled down so I was level with her face. I kissed her warm lips
"It's birthday dinner time, then we are hitting a club."