A/N: Mwa ha ha…there are no words…simply enjoy!
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Disclaimer: I don't own them. I'm sure you weren't expecting that.
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On The Inside (Of A Broom Cupboard)
Chapter 2 – Unexpected Encounters
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Harry awoke to total, all-encompassing darkness. His first reaction was to grab his wand from beneath his robes, and when he failed to find it in its usual pocket he became aware of the seriousness of his situation. Alone, in indefinable darkness without a wand. Alone, …alone?
"Uh…what the fuck? Potter! What the fuck is going on?"
It seemed that Harry had stumbled across the prone, unconscious form of Draco Malfoy. Well, he was unconscious…
"Potter! I asked you a question!"
"I heard you the first time, just give me a moment. I'm trying to figure out how the hell I could possibly wake up next to you, in the pitch-black, in a broom cupboard!"
A distinct snort came from Malfoy's direction. "Broom cupboard? How'd you figure that, genius?" Harry threw a Muggle mop at him, followed by a dustpan, bucket, and a Comet 64. Malfoy stared at the items piled against the wall behind him, before spinning around to glare at his nemesis. "You had something to do with this, didn't you!"
Sighing, Harry replied, "Well that isn't half obvious. I'm stuck in here with you, or had you forgotten?"
"Stuck? Have you tried the door?" When Harry didn't respond, Malfoy reached for what he assumed was the entrance to the closet. Nothing but solid stone met his hands, and Harry impatiently spun him around. "Hands off, Potter. You shouldn't touch what you can't afford." Malfoy's smirk faded somewhat when his fingertips found the vertical crack in the opposite 'wall'.
"Is there a handle?" asked Harry. With a patronizing look, Draco answered, "For Merlin's sake, Potter, think. You've woken up, in a dark enclosed, without your wand, with me, and you think you can just walk out of here? Wait, you don't have your wand, do you?"
Harry reluctantly shook his head, forgetting that it was dark as night and it was unlikely that Malfoy could see the gesture. Quickly, he added, "No, it was the first thing I checked."
"Well that rules out leaving by the door. There's a locking charm on it, sure as hell. See any windows?"
"Are you trying to be stupid?"
"You don't have any better ideas!"
"It's not like you've given me a chance!"
"Only because you're not capable of thinking without a crowd of admirers!"
"Oh, grow up, Malfoy."
"So now you think you're better than me? Why, because there's people trying to kill you and not me? Or because you're screwing Granger?"
WHACK.
"Fuck, Potter! What was that for? Truth hurts?"
"Cheap shot, Malfoy. What would make you think something like that?"
"I assumed…does that mean…you and Granger…you aren't?"
"Bloody hell, no. Is it not possible to be good friends without the entire school assuming?"
Malfoy didn't answer. Meanwhile, Harry's groping hand finally found what it was searching for: the light pull-cord. He gave it a brisk tug, the small space lighting quickly enough for him to note the somewhat apologetic look on Malfoy's face, and the beginnings of a bruise beneath his right eye. Noticing Harry staring, Malfoy's customary sneer slid back into place.
"If it weren't for you, I wouldn't even be here."
Another snort, this time from where Harry was now sitting on the dusty, stone floor. "Who do you know that would want to knock me out and lock me in a cupboard, let alone with you? I know an awful lot that would wish it on you!"
"Like who?"
"Every single Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. And most of our professors."
"Unlike you, of course, worshipped by every female wizarding soul."
"You can have them if you want them," Harry said, resignedly. "In all seriousness, though," he continued, "why do you think we're in here?"
"Somebody want's us out of the way for a day? Or longer…"
"Anyone in mind?"
"No-one from Slytherin. They've all seen what I can do to people who displease me."
"Right. Well, no-one from Gryffindor would have had anything to do with this. Matter of honour. Do you need me to spell it?"
"Grow up, Potter."
"Hypocrite."
"Hypocrite."
A long silence. Harry decided he had preferred Malfoy's company while he was unconscious.
"D'you reckon Voldemort…might have…"
Malfoy chuckled, slowly and coldly. "I don't think Voldemort will be doing anything of the sort for a looong time. Besides, if he was trying to kill you, or me, we'd be dead. Not stuck in a broom cupboard."
"And no outsiders can get into Hogwarts without detection."
"What makes you think we're still at Hogwarts? We could be anywhere!"
"Same reason. Besides, I don't think you can find Comet's anywhere else."
This drew a slightly warmer snigger from the Slytherin. "I'll give you that. So it's a student?"
"Must be."
Another long silence.
"Revenge?" ventured Harry.
"What?"
"Revenge. Someone has a grudge against either you or me…"
"Or both."
"…and could think of no better punishment than to lock us together in a cupboard."
Malfoy mumbled what almost sounded like agreement. "Possibly, but on the grounds that you and I are both inside the cupboard, I rule it out. Who else could be bothered?"
"Dunno."
A disturbing thought tugged at the back of Harry's mind, but, with other pressing issues to deal with, it was quickly forgotten. So quickly, in fact, that Harry never really figured out exactly what it was.
"They'll come looking for us when we don't turn up for classes."
"Oh, Potter. It's Saturday morning, presumably…"
"Well, Dumbledore will know we're missing. He'll find us."
"That old Muggle-lover can't find his glasses while they're sitting on his head. Look, I'm going to sort through this junk, see if there's anything of use in here. You can just lie on the floor, if you want, just don't get in my way."
Harry couldn't be bothered to argue. Instead he merely took Malfoy's advice and sat back against the wall, mentally taking an inventory of his surroundings. The entire room was only three paces by two, and filled for the most part with Muggle cleaning equipment. After spending many hours (…a couple of minutes…) contemplating how in Merlin's name they got there, Harry came up with a simple solution.
"What else would you put in a broom cupboard?" he mused, out loud. It seemed Dumbledore and his ways had a very widespread effect on Hogwarts. Malfoy gave him a strange look before returning to his 'work'.
Grabbing a pile of Hessian bags, Harry made a crude pillow and made to doze off. Unfortunately, the alarming thought that had plagued him for nearly an hour struck, just as he was about to lose consciousness. He groaned.
"Hermione!"