Anyhow, he lost his temper and decided that "Hey, that's it. The kid-gloves are off" and promptly fires his optic blast right infront of "Hugh"'s feet. The man jumps back in shock and almost falls over with a look of pure shock on his face.
"How did you do that?" he asks disbelivingly
with so much sincerity that Scott now is
thoroughly convinced that Logan wasn't just
trying to pull his leg. Something fishy is
definately going on.
"I told you. I am a member of the X-men and
doing stuff like that is who we are. Now,
I am not entirely sure of what's going on
here but you're important to us" * I can't
believe I just said that * "so will you come
with me so we can try to find out what's
going on?"
"No way! I don't know you and will not leave
with some weirdo with delusions of grandeur
that"
He doesn't get any further than that before
a ear-piercing noise can be heard from above.
The both of them looks up towards the noise
and see a very large and very ugly spaceship
hoovering above their heads. Scott looks like
the school-book example of jaw-drop and doesn't
see that Hugh/Logan doesn't look shocked at
all. He looks petrified. "No, no." he says,
which makes Scott notice it. "No what?"
"Anything but the Vogon's! Why did it have
to be the Vogon's!?!?"
"Who are the Vogons??"
"An incredibly evil race of aliens! The
U.S. senate is the best equivalent here
on earth!"
Scott pales at that, just seconds before
Hugh/Logan grabs his hands with his
right hand. In his left his holding a
strange gadget.
"What's that?"
"An electronic thumb. Just wait a few secs. I
need to hear what the Vogon's have to say. My
bet is that the world is about to end."
* This must be a Thursday. I never got the hang of those *
The noise gets louder and a voice can be heard from above and in every radio, TV-set, hi-fi equipment and loudspeaker on the planet.
"Greetings earthlings! This is Protetnic Vogon Jeltz from the Galactic Planning Council. You are no doubt aware that the plans for this part of the galaxy requires the construction of a intergalactic highway through your solarsystem. Unfortunately your planet is in its way so it has to be demolished. This process will take less than 2 minutes. Thank you for your time."
Then there was silence and Scotts face grew even paler. Then the voice started again and apparently someone had been able to contact the Vogon's as the voice said
"It's no use playing surprised. All plans and decisions has been available at the local office at Alpha Centauri for the last 50 years so you have had plenty of time to file an appeal!
What do you mean? Never been to Alpha Centauri? It's only four light years away, for pity's sake! I'm sorry but if you can't react when it comes to local news and concerns, it's your own damn fault. One minute to go. Over and out."
Logan/Hugh pressed a red button on the "electronic thumb" and the light around him and Scott started to glow and the two of them slowly started to dissolve. Just in time too since when they had disappeared entirely a energy burst was released from the Vogon ship and the earth was no more.
Several hours later Scott awoke in a
very dark room. All he could see was
Logan leaning against a wall and all
he could feel was an enormous hunger.
Hugh/Logan saw that he was awake
and came over, stuffing his mouth
full of peanuts. "Eat those" he said.
"It's the best antidote there is for
teleportation induced fatigue."
* Okay, okay. I'm somewhere with a lunatic *
Scott thought which is the only reason he
ate the vile-tasting peanuts.
"Okay, so where are we?"
"In the cargo-hold of the Vogon spaceship."
"Is that good or bad?"
"It means we live. If they find us however..."
Scott didn't answer that at first. He was more
curios how they had got there, assuming Logan
was telling the truth. "How did we get here?"
"With the electronic thumb. A godsend for
hitchhikers. The Vogon's didn't let us on
but their slaves did. Not out of pity but
to annoy the Vogons".
"So what will happen if we're found out?"
"Most likely we will be thrown out into space
with no spacesuits. If we're lucky."
"And if we're not?"
"Then we will have to endure Vogon poetry
first."
"That's it! I'm going insane here! This isn't
happening to me!"
"Trust me. It is."
"So the earth is really gone?"
"Yes. No big loss though."
"What??!?"
"A rather boring planet. I should know, I've
been trapped here for 15 years."
"Why?"
"I was sent here to write a review for a book
but when I was going home, I found out that
no spaceships were coming through this
godforsaken part of the known universe. Talk
about rotten luck!"
Scotts brain was revolting against all this new information and he was feeling kinda dizzy. All he could get out of his mouth was a slurred "book?"
"Yes. The hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy. The best book there is" Logan said as he tossed a copy over to Scott.
Scott took a look at it. An electronic
book of some sort with the words "Don't
panic" written on the cover. He quickly
figured out how to work it and found
out it was a sort of travelling guide.
He looked up the word "Earth in it
and saw that the entire planet was
summarized in one word "Harmless".
"Is that it? That's your whole review?"
"Nope. It was edited some. My version
was longer."
"What was it?"
"Mostly harmless" Logan said with a shrug.
They were interupted by the ship's intercom going off and a voice was saying
"Bleh osidpm saldpas sdpoaspod äösdåasdp"
"What's he saying?" Scott asked Logan.
Logan didn't answer but took something out
of his pocket. A fish. A fish that he promptly
put into Scott's ear.
"What the fuck are you" Scott started to say
before he realized he now understood the
voice.
"Guards! Go down to cargo-hold 5 and fetch the stowaways!"
Scott almost paniced when he heard that but Logan didn't. He just said
"Don't panic!"