*When we last left our quixotically challenged heroes, Cait gambled away all of everyone's gil, and in result, the whole party gets kicked out of Neo-Costa Del Sol's Motel.*
Cid: Cait Sith, you damn monkey bitch! I can't believe you did this! Now we've gotta wander around, with no place to sleep, or eat, or even live, just because you wasted all our gil on your stupid, gay ass gambling!
Red: Calm down, Cid. We'll make more money. All we need to do is fight some enemies…
Cid: That don't work, you gay, red fagget! That only works when you play Final Fantasy 7 on the PlayStation!
Cloud: Ah! I'm on PlayStation! *cheers*
Cait: I got us in this mess, and I'm gonna get us out!
*Cait leads the whole gang to Gold Saucer. As they take the rail train in, he flashes his Gold Ticket, and they instantly enter the Wonder Square.*
Cait: Okay, I need all of everybody's GP.
*After everyone shakes their pouches, empties their pockets, and Yuffie finally gives up all the GP she stole from everyone, Cait ends up with… 40 GP*
Cait: Okay, we've got just enough for the brand new "Win tons of gil!" arcade game.
*They all walk over to the "Win tons of gil!" arcade game, and Cait starts to play. The game makes tons of "bleeps" and "bloops". Everyone is sweating and praying and Yuffie is biting her fingernails*
Arcade: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU… LOST, BECAUSE YOU SUCK.
Tifa: Gee, how quixotic.
Cid: If I hear that word one more time, I'm gonna kick your ass.
Tifa: Oh.
Cloud: Well now what, Cait just lost all our gil and our GP!
*Out of nowhere, Aeris enters the area*
Barret: Aeris?! I thought you were dead!
Aeris: It's a long story actually. You see, when Sephiroth killed me, I started over from the last SAVE point I saved at. Ever since then, I've been looking for all of you!
Yuffie: That's quixotically strange.
Cid: *kicks Yuffie's ass*
Yuffie: *is much cooler so she kicks Cid's ass*
*Eventually, Cid and Yuffie are in an ass-kicking fest*
Barret: You fags! Stop kicking each other's ass's!
Aeris: Anyway, I heard about your gil ordeal. I've got 5,000 we can all share.
All except Aeris: 5,000 gil?!
*Suddenly everyone tackles Aeris and tries to grab her gil. Gil, teeth, and articles of clothing are flying everywhere. Red exit's the scuffle and starts to talk*
Red: Is this the way we should act? Aeris has come to provide us with some gil, and we all try to steal it from her. Look at us, we're being heathens.
*Everyone stops. Yuffie smiles to reveal she is missing 3 teeth. Cloud has no pants on and Tifa and Aeris are without bras. Cait's mog is leaking cotton, and Vincent has his gun to Cid's head. Barret is searching around to find stray bullets*
Cloud: We're sorry, Aeris. *finds pants and frantically tries to put them on*
Barret: Maybe we can use the money to finish our vacation.
Cait: Or I can try my luck and…
All: NO!!
Cid: Let's just go back to the motel.
*And so, the gang goes back to Neo Costa Del Sol, things go well, and Cait Sith is locked in the closet. Cid clicks on the TV.*
TV: Are you looking for love? Or do you just want cheese? Well, you can have both with Swiss Kiss. It's the delicate taste of swiss cheese, whipped into a fondue of romance. Buy it today.
Cid: Geez. Kids these days, tryin to sell cheap generic shit.
*Sephiroth flies in the window*
Sephy: What's on?
Cid: Shit.
Sephy: When isn't that on. *pops open a beer and chugs*
*Tifa and Cloud walk into the room. Cloud is giving Tifa a piggy-back ride*
Cloud: *spots Sephiroth* AAGH! NO!! *falls on knees and starts holding his head like he always does*
Tifa: *falls on ground* Ow.
*Out of nowhere, Yuffie comes hurtling into the room through the window*
Yuffie: Hi.
*Suddenly, cheddar cheese monkies come flying from the sky*
+Oh no! What will happen now! Will everybody get beaned in the head with cheese monkies? Or will our heroes save the world?+
Cid: Cait Sith, you damn monkey bitch! I can't believe you did this! Now we've gotta wander around, with no place to sleep, or eat, or even live, just because you wasted all our gil on your stupid, gay ass gambling!
Red: Calm down, Cid. We'll make more money. All we need to do is fight some enemies…
Cid: That don't work, you gay, red fagget! That only works when you play Final Fantasy 7 on the PlayStation!
Cloud: Ah! I'm on PlayStation! *cheers*
Cait: I got us in this mess, and I'm gonna get us out!
*Cait leads the whole gang to Gold Saucer. As they take the rail train in, he flashes his Gold Ticket, and they instantly enter the Wonder Square.*
Cait: Okay, I need all of everybody's GP.
*After everyone shakes their pouches, empties their pockets, and Yuffie finally gives up all the GP she stole from everyone, Cait ends up with… 40 GP*
Cait: Okay, we've got just enough for the brand new "Win tons of gil!" arcade game.
*They all walk over to the "Win tons of gil!" arcade game, and Cait starts to play. The game makes tons of "bleeps" and "bloops". Everyone is sweating and praying and Yuffie is biting her fingernails*
Arcade: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU… LOST, BECAUSE YOU SUCK.
Tifa: Gee, how quixotic.
Cid: If I hear that word one more time, I'm gonna kick your ass.
Tifa: Oh.
Cloud: Well now what, Cait just lost all our gil and our GP!
*Out of nowhere, Aeris enters the area*
Barret: Aeris?! I thought you were dead!
Aeris: It's a long story actually. You see, when Sephiroth killed me, I started over from the last SAVE point I saved at. Ever since then, I've been looking for all of you!
Yuffie: That's quixotically strange.
Cid: *kicks Yuffie's ass*
Yuffie: *is much cooler so she kicks Cid's ass*
*Eventually, Cid and Yuffie are in an ass-kicking fest*
Barret: You fags! Stop kicking each other's ass's!
Aeris: Anyway, I heard about your gil ordeal. I've got 5,000 we can all share.
All except Aeris: 5,000 gil?!
*Suddenly everyone tackles Aeris and tries to grab her gil. Gil, teeth, and articles of clothing are flying everywhere. Red exit's the scuffle and starts to talk*
Red: Is this the way we should act? Aeris has come to provide us with some gil, and we all try to steal it from her. Look at us, we're being heathens.
*Everyone stops. Yuffie smiles to reveal she is missing 3 teeth. Cloud has no pants on and Tifa and Aeris are without bras. Cait's mog is leaking cotton, and Vincent has his gun to Cid's head. Barret is searching around to find stray bullets*
Cloud: We're sorry, Aeris. *finds pants and frantically tries to put them on*
Barret: Maybe we can use the money to finish our vacation.
Cait: Or I can try my luck and…
All: NO!!
Cid: Let's just go back to the motel.
*And so, the gang goes back to Neo Costa Del Sol, things go well, and Cait Sith is locked in the closet. Cid clicks on the TV.*
TV: Are you looking for love? Or do you just want cheese? Well, you can have both with Swiss Kiss. It's the delicate taste of swiss cheese, whipped into a fondue of romance. Buy it today.
Cid: Geez. Kids these days, tryin to sell cheap generic shit.
*Sephiroth flies in the window*
Sephy: What's on?
Cid: Shit.
Sephy: When isn't that on. *pops open a beer and chugs*
*Tifa and Cloud walk into the room. Cloud is giving Tifa a piggy-back ride*
Cloud: *spots Sephiroth* AAGH! NO!! *falls on knees and starts holding his head like he always does*
Tifa: *falls on ground* Ow.
*Out of nowhere, Yuffie comes hurtling into the room through the window*
Yuffie: Hi.
*Suddenly, cheddar cheese monkies come flying from the sky*
+Oh no! What will happen now! Will everybody get beaned in the head with cheese monkies? Or will our heroes save the world?+