TITLE: In the Still of the Night
WRITTEN BY: Drea Jackman
EMAIL: wtsw02889@Blueyonder.co.uk
WEBSITE: Of Dreams & Reality - http://DreaJackman.cjb.net/
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: When Alec experiences the violence of seizures for the first time, it's up to Max to provide the strength and support needed to help him get through the night.
DISCLAIMER: All Dark Angel characters belong to James Cameron and Charles Eglee (Cameron Eglee Productions) and Dark Angel itself belongs to FOX...it's just not fair is it? *Sob*
ARCHIVE: If I've said yes before I'll say it again, otherwise email me 'n' lemme know.
FEEDBACK: Don't make me beg, please? ...D'OH!
A/N: Posting this up a little later than I'd planned to, but at least it's up for this weekend. I'm almost finished with chapter four so no more reviews solely to cry "Write more!" There WILL be more, but for those peeps that leave those comments, I suggest you take up reading these Author's Notes ( It's all good right? Late…
1 In The Still Of The Night
Max lay there for what felt like hours. The only time she moved was to tighten her hold of Alec as his body grew particularly restless. She'd found that it had taken an entire hour for the tryptophan to show any physical signs of taking effect. In that hour she'd felt tremors stronger than any she'd experienced before, wrack his body. Slowly, over time, possibly hours more, she'd felt his body begin to shake less and less in her arms.
Now everything was dark and silent. Alec was still beside her, only trembling now and then, but at least he was at some level of peace. In the time that passed, Max found herself thinking over everything in her life. How lucky she really had been in comparrison to the life she was slowly finding out Alec had lived.
She really couldn't imagine what was going through his mind when forced to deal with seizures that had just always been a part of her life. Sure they sucked, but she'd grown up facing them. It was easy for her to forget how that must have felt to a twenty year old suffering them for the first time; she could only remember through a child's eyes.
Eventually Max's curiosity got the better of her. She knew the seizure was as good as over; Alec only trembled slightly and at irregular intervals now. She just wanted to check him over; make sure he was really okay. Slowly she slipped her arm over his as she shifted against him on the bed and sat up. Her hand settled on his shoulder as the dull glow of the city lights outside the window cast their illumination across Alec's now sleeping form.
Max was taken aback. She'd never dreamed he could have looked so innocent. His hair lay in disarray, some of the lighter strands around the front pressed flat against his forehead. After a few moments deliberation, she let the hand that had been resting on his shoulder venture forward and her fingertips made light contact, brushing the soft strands back and feeling the warm glow of his skin brush the backs of her fingers. Acting purely on instinct she found herself letting the backs of her fingers trail further down, slowly making a gentle sweep over his cheek.
Motion stopped immediately as she processed the new sensation. When she looked closer she could still see the wet trails that originated under his dark lashes and crossed his smooth flesh. Withdrawing her hand she also felt the pillow beneath damp to the touch.
Part of it didn't surprise her for seizures had brought her to tears many times, but once again it was the fact that it was Alec that made her vision become blurred and the lump arise in her throat.
Before Max was even aware of it, Alec's head turned to look up at her, eyes finding hers instinctively in the darkness for nightvision was a choice he refused. She felt the warmth spread across her cheek only to be brushed away as Alec's tentative touch swept over her cheek. His hand paused to caress for brief seconds before Max felt it tremble on another wave and sink back to it's comfortable resting place by his side.
"I look that good huh?" he attempted a soft joke, but the humour was lost to them both.
"Better," she replied trying to mirror his greeting.
Alec attempted a characteristic smirk, but all that came across was a sheepish smile betraying sincere appreciation. Feeling the wave sweep through him again, he shivered and Max immediately tightened her grip on his arm as if not wanting him to forget she was right there with him. As it died down, he lifted his hand and watched the odd flicker of uncontrolled movement.
"What happened to me?"
"You really don't know?" Max asked, genuinely surprised he hadn't at least seen seizures of the like before.
"No," he answered sounding defeated.
"It was a seizure. When they made us perfect they forgot the part about imperfect, whacked-out brain chemistry."
Alec lay beside her in silence, listening attentively and dreading the flickers of convulsion that still passed through his body and threatened to come back at full force anytime.
"Basically it's a neurochemical imbalance. We can supplement tryptophan easily enough, but a lack of will lead to these seizures and eventually they can kill,"
Max cringed at the bluntness in her choice of words, her look to Alec immediately apologetic.
"You have to deal with these too?"
"Me and every other X5 out there," she sighed and settled herself in a more comfortable position, curling her legs up to sit upright beside him as he lay on his back before her.
"But I've never," his voice trailed off, taking moments to banish harsh reminders. "I've never felt that before."
"That's the part I can't figure out, but with any luck it won't happen a lot in future eithe," she said looking him over to reassure herself that he was still okay.
"How long?" he asked as if reading her mind.
"Since I was a kid, we all did."
"Even 493?"
Max could see what he was looking for in his comparrison. While the family sense and sibling title was used when speaking of other X5's in her unit, Max really wasn't related to any of them. The only person who could make that claim honestly now was Alec. Ben or 493 had been his twin, genetically identical and at a price Max could only wonder. All sorts of tortuous tests after Ben had been killed, everything in the name of genetic research and determining whether Ben's murderous and unhinged tendencies had been born of a genetic error that'd be present in his brother.
"Ben too," she finally answered, but her hesitation wasn't lost on Alec.
"You cared about him huh?" His question was simple and direct.
"Yeah, a lot," she replied looking down at him, for brief moments seeing Ben reflected in the physical appearance of the man before her.
"Miss him?"
"A little. It's funny, every time I have a seizure or even go to stock up on tryptophan I think of him. Back in the barracks, whenever a seizure hit bad he'd always be there. Used to make all the pain go away with some little shadows on the wall at night," she explained, her voice trailing off as she remembered more innocent times.
"I'm sorry."
Alec's whispered apology caught her off guard. What did he have to say sorry for? None of it had been made real by his will or down to his hand, but Max could read it in the depths of his eyes.
"Why?"
"Can't imagine it's easy seeing the face of someone you cared about and lost everyday."
Max looked at him blankly, deep in thought for moments on end before she finally responded, choosing her words carefully so that they were completely deliberate.
"I don't see the face of someone I lost everyday." All she knew she saw was someone she cared about.
Alec seemed to understand and he smiled, or at least the attempt was there, halted only by the growing surge that caused his entire body to jerk hard repeatedly. Max quickly attempted to hold him steady and watched as his eyes finally tore away from hers to close on another tremor. Max reached over him to the nightstand and brought two more pills to his lips.
Alec swallowed them and fought against his once again deteriorating condition. His once calm features slipped into contortion that failed to mask sheer anger. His fists closed in a tight clench and he punched the mattress beneath hard in frustration as his hands too began to shake.
"Damn it!" he growled, breath hitching in his throat.
Max reached out and caught him by the wrists, effectively halting his frustrated movements from growing worse. Easing them down by his sides she held his left wrist in her right hand, drawing it up across the quickening rise and fall of his chest.
"Shhh," Max whispered on a soft breath that blew gently across his cheek.
In that single understanding moment, Alec slowly shifted next to her as he rolled over to face away from her again, resuming the position that had let him share much of her strength and support earlier that evening.
"Relax, Alec."
Alec keenly attempted to do so as he felt Max's firm and steady body spoon to his weaker one. As her arms drew him closer still in a secure hug, Alec found himself experiencing the comfort and feeling of safety he always found her presence brought.
WRITTEN BY: Drea Jackman
EMAIL: wtsw02889@Blueyonder.co.uk
WEBSITE: Of Dreams & Reality - http://DreaJackman.cjb.net/
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: When Alec experiences the violence of seizures for the first time, it's up to Max to provide the strength and support needed to help him get through the night.
DISCLAIMER: All Dark Angel characters belong to James Cameron and Charles Eglee (Cameron Eglee Productions) and Dark Angel itself belongs to FOX...it's just not fair is it? *Sob*
ARCHIVE: If I've said yes before I'll say it again, otherwise email me 'n' lemme know.
FEEDBACK: Don't make me beg, please? ...D'OH!
A/N: Posting this up a little later than I'd planned to, but at least it's up for this weekend. I'm almost finished with chapter four so no more reviews solely to cry "Write more!" There WILL be more, but for those peeps that leave those comments, I suggest you take up reading these Author's Notes ( It's all good right? Late…
1 In The Still Of The Night
Max lay there for what felt like hours. The only time she moved was to tighten her hold of Alec as his body grew particularly restless. She'd found that it had taken an entire hour for the tryptophan to show any physical signs of taking effect. In that hour she'd felt tremors stronger than any she'd experienced before, wrack his body. Slowly, over time, possibly hours more, she'd felt his body begin to shake less and less in her arms.
Now everything was dark and silent. Alec was still beside her, only trembling now and then, but at least he was at some level of peace. In the time that passed, Max found herself thinking over everything in her life. How lucky she really had been in comparrison to the life she was slowly finding out Alec had lived.
She really couldn't imagine what was going through his mind when forced to deal with seizures that had just always been a part of her life. Sure they sucked, but she'd grown up facing them. It was easy for her to forget how that must have felt to a twenty year old suffering them for the first time; she could only remember through a child's eyes.
Eventually Max's curiosity got the better of her. She knew the seizure was as good as over; Alec only trembled slightly and at irregular intervals now. She just wanted to check him over; make sure he was really okay. Slowly she slipped her arm over his as she shifted against him on the bed and sat up. Her hand settled on his shoulder as the dull glow of the city lights outside the window cast their illumination across Alec's now sleeping form.
Max was taken aback. She'd never dreamed he could have looked so innocent. His hair lay in disarray, some of the lighter strands around the front pressed flat against his forehead. After a few moments deliberation, she let the hand that had been resting on his shoulder venture forward and her fingertips made light contact, brushing the soft strands back and feeling the warm glow of his skin brush the backs of her fingers. Acting purely on instinct she found herself letting the backs of her fingers trail further down, slowly making a gentle sweep over his cheek.
Motion stopped immediately as she processed the new sensation. When she looked closer she could still see the wet trails that originated under his dark lashes and crossed his smooth flesh. Withdrawing her hand she also felt the pillow beneath damp to the touch.
Part of it didn't surprise her for seizures had brought her to tears many times, but once again it was the fact that it was Alec that made her vision become blurred and the lump arise in her throat.
Before Max was even aware of it, Alec's head turned to look up at her, eyes finding hers instinctively in the darkness for nightvision was a choice he refused. She felt the warmth spread across her cheek only to be brushed away as Alec's tentative touch swept over her cheek. His hand paused to caress for brief seconds before Max felt it tremble on another wave and sink back to it's comfortable resting place by his side.
"I look that good huh?" he attempted a soft joke, but the humour was lost to them both.
"Better," she replied trying to mirror his greeting.
Alec attempted a characteristic smirk, but all that came across was a sheepish smile betraying sincere appreciation. Feeling the wave sweep through him again, he shivered and Max immediately tightened her grip on his arm as if not wanting him to forget she was right there with him. As it died down, he lifted his hand and watched the odd flicker of uncontrolled movement.
"What happened to me?"
"You really don't know?" Max asked, genuinely surprised he hadn't at least seen seizures of the like before.
"No," he answered sounding defeated.
"It was a seizure. When they made us perfect they forgot the part about imperfect, whacked-out brain chemistry."
Alec lay beside her in silence, listening attentively and dreading the flickers of convulsion that still passed through his body and threatened to come back at full force anytime.
"Basically it's a neurochemical imbalance. We can supplement tryptophan easily enough, but a lack of will lead to these seizures and eventually they can kill,"
Max cringed at the bluntness in her choice of words, her look to Alec immediately apologetic.
"You have to deal with these too?"
"Me and every other X5 out there," she sighed and settled herself in a more comfortable position, curling her legs up to sit upright beside him as he lay on his back before her.
"But I've never," his voice trailed off, taking moments to banish harsh reminders. "I've never felt that before."
"That's the part I can't figure out, but with any luck it won't happen a lot in future eithe," she said looking him over to reassure herself that he was still okay.
"How long?" he asked as if reading her mind.
"Since I was a kid, we all did."
"Even 493?"
Max could see what he was looking for in his comparrison. While the family sense and sibling title was used when speaking of other X5's in her unit, Max really wasn't related to any of them. The only person who could make that claim honestly now was Alec. Ben or 493 had been his twin, genetically identical and at a price Max could only wonder. All sorts of tortuous tests after Ben had been killed, everything in the name of genetic research and determining whether Ben's murderous and unhinged tendencies had been born of a genetic error that'd be present in his brother.
"Ben too," she finally answered, but her hesitation wasn't lost on Alec.
"You cared about him huh?" His question was simple and direct.
"Yeah, a lot," she replied looking down at him, for brief moments seeing Ben reflected in the physical appearance of the man before her.
"Miss him?"
"A little. It's funny, every time I have a seizure or even go to stock up on tryptophan I think of him. Back in the barracks, whenever a seizure hit bad he'd always be there. Used to make all the pain go away with some little shadows on the wall at night," she explained, her voice trailing off as she remembered more innocent times.
"I'm sorry."
Alec's whispered apology caught her off guard. What did he have to say sorry for? None of it had been made real by his will or down to his hand, but Max could read it in the depths of his eyes.
"Why?"
"Can't imagine it's easy seeing the face of someone you cared about and lost everyday."
Max looked at him blankly, deep in thought for moments on end before she finally responded, choosing her words carefully so that they were completely deliberate.
"I don't see the face of someone I lost everyday." All she knew she saw was someone she cared about.
Alec seemed to understand and he smiled, or at least the attempt was there, halted only by the growing surge that caused his entire body to jerk hard repeatedly. Max quickly attempted to hold him steady and watched as his eyes finally tore away from hers to close on another tremor. Max reached over him to the nightstand and brought two more pills to his lips.
Alec swallowed them and fought against his once again deteriorating condition. His once calm features slipped into contortion that failed to mask sheer anger. His fists closed in a tight clench and he punched the mattress beneath hard in frustration as his hands too began to shake.
"Damn it!" he growled, breath hitching in his throat.
Max reached out and caught him by the wrists, effectively halting his frustrated movements from growing worse. Easing them down by his sides she held his left wrist in her right hand, drawing it up across the quickening rise and fall of his chest.
"Shhh," Max whispered on a soft breath that blew gently across his cheek.
In that single understanding moment, Alec slowly shifted next to her as he rolled over to face away from her again, resuming the position that had let him share much of her strength and support earlier that evening.
"Relax, Alec."
Alec keenly attempted to do so as he felt Max's firm and steady body spoon to his weaker one. As her arms drew him closer still in a secure hug, Alec found himself experiencing the comfort and feeling of safety he always found her presence brought.