Ok, this is the second chapter of my story : Rainy Days. Every chapter will
be called to something associated with rain, like this one : Raindrops.
If you didn't read the first chapter, you should go there to read the summary. Like I said, there was gonna be a song lyric in every chapter. If you are a 'Japan-fan', you should know Ayumi Hamasaki (my idol !) and if you don't, well... chack her out then ! She's awsome. She always sings in Japanese, but this is a translation. Enjoy my story ! R & R please !
DISCLAIMER : I do NOT own Digimon.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Raindrops - - - - - - - - - - By Mari-sama~
Ayumi Hamasaki - A Song For XX
Why am I crying?
Why am I lost?
Why did I stop?
Please tell me
When will I grow up?
How long can I stay a child?
Where have I come running from?
Where am I running to?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I had no place to live. I couldn't find one.
I don't know if I could have any hope for the future.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
They always said I was a strong child.
They praised me, saying "you must be strong to not cry."
I didn't want those words at all.
So I pretended not to understand.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Why are you laughing?
Why are you by my side?
Why are you leaving me?
Please tell me.
When did you become strong?
Since when have you felt weakness?
How long must you wait
for the day you understand to come?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The sun is rising. I must go soon.
I can't stay in the same place forever.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
You will someday be betrayed by your trust in people.
I thought it was the same as being rejected.
At the time I didn't have that kind of strength.
I definitely knew too much.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
They always said I was a strong child.
They praised me, saying "you must be strong not to cry."
The more people said things like that,
the more even laughing became agony.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I was born alone. I'll go on living alone.
I thought that surely that kind of life is appropriate.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dearest diary,
I just can't take it any longer ! Life is hell... Why do I have to be here ? Why do I have to live ? Why do I have to see other people jumping around so happily ? I cannot take it. I don't wanna take it. I'm not gonna take this any longer. There has to be a way for me to get rid of this. I hope so. Oh crap ! My mom's here. I gotta go now, she wanted me to come over to her and TK for a week, and of course my dad didn't say 'no'. He was probably happy that he doesn't have to see my face for a week. I'm gonna take you with me, ok ? Ohh...I bet you my dad isn't gonna call me, even though he promised me.
Matt.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Matt shut his diary, switched the light from his desk lamp off and stood up from his chair. He threw some clothes from his closet onto his bed and took a bag. He put the clothes in it, not even bothering to keep them a little decent. Ohh no... he heard his mother coming up.
- - - Why does she have to do this ? - - -
"Matt ?" Nancy asked, searching for the light switch.
She couldn't see anything except a dark shadow which she supposed to be Matt.
"Matt ? Put some light on !"
- - - Oh great, always so critical about the things I like. I like to be in the dark, and that's my problem. - - -
"Hi mom." Matt said under his breath, not with an interested tone.
"Matt, put the lights on, please."
Matt sighed, just loud enough for his mother to hear and when the room lightened Nancy sighed too.
"What a mess... Do you ever clean this place out, Matt ?"
Matt mumbled something, turning away from his mother and closing the zipper from his bag.
"What did you say there ?"
"I said that my room is my property and that I choose when I clean it."
"Ok." His mother said, trying not to make him upset.
"So... Did you pack your stuff ?" She asked, forcing a smile upon her face.
Matt held his bag up in response and smiled back to her, in an ironic way though.
A few minutes later, the two of them came into the living room, where Malcolm sat down, reading something. Some file from work or something...
- - - Working again. No time for me. - - -
"Malcolm ? Matt's ready to go." Nancy said.
"Good." A voice came from behind the papers.
- - - See... He doesn't even notice me. I wonder wether he'll still know my name after a week. I hope so. - - -
"Don't you wanna discuss the thing we talked about on the phone ?"
Matt frowned a little.
- - - Huh ? - - -
"What did we talk about ?" Malcolm said, putting his stuff down for a minute.
"About the money."
"Ohh yes, of course." He said, a little embarrassed towards Matt who had no clue where they were talking about.
- - - I'll ask my mom in the car. - - -
Matt's dad stood up and took his wallet. He took some money and gave it to Nancy.
After a minute or two, Matt and his mom were in the car, driving to another city, one hour from Odaiba.
Normally Matt went to his mother's apartment by bus but because of the weather, rain, rain, rain, his mom refused to let him do that. The bus could be in a car accident or something, she had said to him.
"Mom ? What's that money about ?"
His mother, who had her eyes fixed on the wet road didn't look up.
"MOM !"
"Huh ?-What ?"
"Where's the money for ?"
"It's uh...uhm...well...it's for..."
"What ? Can't you tell me ? No ?"
"I'm afraid-"
"Not ? Ok, fine."
They both were silent. Nancy didn't speak. Matt neither. Every five minutes, Nancy looked to her son from the corner of her eye.
- - - Oh God... What's happening to him ? - - - Nancy thought.
- - - What ? You think I don't see you, mom ? - - -
- - - I wonder wether he sees... - - - She wondered.
"I know you're looking." Matt suddenly said.
Nancy laughed a bit. Matt didn't.
"Can you please stop looking at me ? I'd appreciate."
"Sorry." His mother quickly said.
- - - Why is he so arrogant ? - - - She asked herself, mentally frowning.
When they arrived at TK's apartment block, Matt got out very quickly and took his bag out of the car, not looking at his mother.
He walked up to the door and pushed the button of TK's apartment number.
"Hello ?" A scratchy voice came out of the speaker. "TK ?" "Matt ! Great you came ! I can't wait to see you !" "Can't wait to see you either !" "Come on in !"
Matt pushed the door open and ran upstairs. He knew his mom was gonna take the elevator so he didn't.
When Matt opened the door, TK flew into his arms. Matt dropped the bag on the floor.
"Hi Matt ! It's so good to see you !"
"Haha. Hey ! Let's try your new video game !"
"Great ! I bet you I'll win this one, Matt !"
"Ha ! That would be a waste of money !"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Dinner's ready !!!" Nancy yelled from downstairs. TK ran downstairs, shouting :
"What's for today, mom ?"
"I made pizza !"
"PIZZA !!! Matt ! Hurry up !!!"
"Coming..." A voice came from upstairs. Matt slowly walked down the stairs, his head down.
They went to the dining room and all sat down.
"You liked the food, Matt ?" Nancy asked her oldest son when they were done eating.
"Yeah. It's good." Matt said, head still down.
"TK ?"
"It was awsome, mom ! You're the best !"
Nancy smiled to TK, and then to Matt.
His head was still down. His blonde hair almost hung in his empty plate.
"Can I go upstairs, please ?" He said.
"Sure. TK ? Will you clean the dishes, honey ?"
"Yup !"
- - - How can he possibly be so happy ? - - -
Nancy stood up and followed Matt to the living room where he dropped himself onto the couch and switched the tv on.
"Matt ?"
Matt nodded a little.
"Are you feeling alright, honey ?"
"Sure."
- - - Ohh no... Here we go again. - - -
"You look pale."
"Did you know people with blonde hair are supposed to look paler than people with brown or black hair ?"
"Of course I know that. Let's say it different. You looke white as a sheet, ok ?" "So ?"
"So ? You might be sick, sweetie..."
- - - Sweetie... - - -
"I'm not sick, alright !"
Matt jumped up from the couch and ran upstairs to the room where he was gonna sleep in. Then he walked to the bathroom where he locked the door and let himself slide down slowly to the white walls.
He burst out in tears.
"Why ? Why am I DOING this !!!"
- - - Why ? Why ? Why ? Why ? Why ? Why ? Why ? Why ? Why ? Why ? Why ? Why ? - - -
He cried. Cried like a little child.
When he finally stopped and had dried his tearstained cheeks, he unlocked the door and wandered to his room.
- - - Where's my diary ? - - -
He took it out from his bag and started to write.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dearest Diary,
I broke down in tears. Suddenly. I don't even know why but I do know I don't wanna cry again because I HATE it ! Ohh... I can't bear this. I have to find something to get better. Fast. Hey ! Why... ? No... Why wouldn't I try something from my mothers medicine cupboard ? I can take painkillers. Nah. Bad idea. Those only cure pain. And then I mean fysical pain. No mental pain like I have. But I can try. Right. I can always try. Be right back, diary.
Ok, I'm back. I took one. Pa-ra-ce-ta-mol, if I spelled it right. I hope this is good. So now, I guess I'll have to feel better. I gotta go now. I'll write later.
The Scourge Of Life, Matt.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Matt stood up and threw his diary onto the desk in the room.
- - - Hope this works... - - -
The blonde went back down. He wandered to the kitchen, where he found TK, cleaning the dishes. He didn't want him to notice he was here, so sneaked away. - - - Where's my mom ? - - -
"Mom !"
"Yes, Matt ?" Nancy said, racing into the dining room.
She found Matt sitting at the table, head down like usuall and went to sit next to him.
"Yes ?"
Nancy put her hand under Matt's chin and made him look up. He pulled away and crossed his arms on the table. He put his head in his arms.
"Matt... What is it ? Hmm ? What's wrong ?"
"I don't know..." Matt sobbed, obviously crying.
"Hey, sweetie... Come here."
She hugged him. Matt hugged back, which made Nancy feel surprised.
"You don't know ? Are you feeling sick ?"
"No."
"You're sad ?"
"No !"
"But you're crying, Matt. Why ? What happened ?"
"Nothing !" Matt exclaimed, pulling away.
His hair was in a mess. Nancy put out her left hand and caressed his head. She smiled to Matt, a little.
"You just don't get it, mom !" He suddenly yelled at her.
Matt jumped up and ran upstairs. He slammed the door shut when he had reached the room.
"FUCK !!!" He yelled, throwing everything from the desk in frustration.
Then he saw his diary on the floor, but also... his pocket-knife...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Sorry for the cliffhanger, but now I have a little more hope you're gonna keep reading this ! I hope you enjoyed and pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees Review now ! And read the next chapters ! Updates are coming up REAL soon ! Promise ! I wish you guys the best and I hope you're never gonna have to go through something like this. -x-x-x- Mari-sama~
If you didn't read the first chapter, you should go there to read the summary. Like I said, there was gonna be a song lyric in every chapter. If you are a 'Japan-fan', you should know Ayumi Hamasaki (my idol !) and if you don't, well... chack her out then ! She's awsome. She always sings in Japanese, but this is a translation. Enjoy my story ! R & R please !
DISCLAIMER : I do NOT own Digimon.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Raindrops - - - - - - - - - - By Mari-sama~
Ayumi Hamasaki - A Song For XX
Why am I crying?
Why am I lost?
Why did I stop?
Please tell me
When will I grow up?
How long can I stay a child?
Where have I come running from?
Where am I running to?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I had no place to live. I couldn't find one.
I don't know if I could have any hope for the future.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
They always said I was a strong child.
They praised me, saying "you must be strong to not cry."
I didn't want those words at all.
So I pretended not to understand.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Why are you laughing?
Why are you by my side?
Why are you leaving me?
Please tell me.
When did you become strong?
Since when have you felt weakness?
How long must you wait
for the day you understand to come?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The sun is rising. I must go soon.
I can't stay in the same place forever.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
You will someday be betrayed by your trust in people.
I thought it was the same as being rejected.
At the time I didn't have that kind of strength.
I definitely knew too much.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
They always said I was a strong child.
They praised me, saying "you must be strong not to cry."
The more people said things like that,
the more even laughing became agony.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I was born alone. I'll go on living alone.
I thought that surely that kind of life is appropriate.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dearest diary,
I just can't take it any longer ! Life is hell... Why do I have to be here ? Why do I have to live ? Why do I have to see other people jumping around so happily ? I cannot take it. I don't wanna take it. I'm not gonna take this any longer. There has to be a way for me to get rid of this. I hope so. Oh crap ! My mom's here. I gotta go now, she wanted me to come over to her and TK for a week, and of course my dad didn't say 'no'. He was probably happy that he doesn't have to see my face for a week. I'm gonna take you with me, ok ? Ohh...I bet you my dad isn't gonna call me, even though he promised me.
Matt.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Matt shut his diary, switched the light from his desk lamp off and stood up from his chair. He threw some clothes from his closet onto his bed and took a bag. He put the clothes in it, not even bothering to keep them a little decent. Ohh no... he heard his mother coming up.
- - - Why does she have to do this ? - - -
"Matt ?" Nancy asked, searching for the light switch.
She couldn't see anything except a dark shadow which she supposed to be Matt.
"Matt ? Put some light on !"
- - - Oh great, always so critical about the things I like. I like to be in the dark, and that's my problem. - - -
"Hi mom." Matt said under his breath, not with an interested tone.
"Matt, put the lights on, please."
Matt sighed, just loud enough for his mother to hear and when the room lightened Nancy sighed too.
"What a mess... Do you ever clean this place out, Matt ?"
Matt mumbled something, turning away from his mother and closing the zipper from his bag.
"What did you say there ?"
"I said that my room is my property and that I choose when I clean it."
"Ok." His mother said, trying not to make him upset.
"So... Did you pack your stuff ?" She asked, forcing a smile upon her face.
Matt held his bag up in response and smiled back to her, in an ironic way though.
A few minutes later, the two of them came into the living room, where Malcolm sat down, reading something. Some file from work or something...
- - - Working again. No time for me. - - -
"Malcolm ? Matt's ready to go." Nancy said.
"Good." A voice came from behind the papers.
- - - See... He doesn't even notice me. I wonder wether he'll still know my name after a week. I hope so. - - -
"Don't you wanna discuss the thing we talked about on the phone ?"
Matt frowned a little.
- - - Huh ? - - -
"What did we talk about ?" Malcolm said, putting his stuff down for a minute.
"About the money."
"Ohh yes, of course." He said, a little embarrassed towards Matt who had no clue where they were talking about.
- - - I'll ask my mom in the car. - - -
Matt's dad stood up and took his wallet. He took some money and gave it to Nancy.
After a minute or two, Matt and his mom were in the car, driving to another city, one hour from Odaiba.
Normally Matt went to his mother's apartment by bus but because of the weather, rain, rain, rain, his mom refused to let him do that. The bus could be in a car accident or something, she had said to him.
"Mom ? What's that money about ?"
His mother, who had her eyes fixed on the wet road didn't look up.
"MOM !"
"Huh ?-What ?"
"Where's the money for ?"
"It's uh...uhm...well...it's for..."
"What ? Can't you tell me ? No ?"
"I'm afraid-"
"Not ? Ok, fine."
They both were silent. Nancy didn't speak. Matt neither. Every five minutes, Nancy looked to her son from the corner of her eye.
- - - Oh God... What's happening to him ? - - - Nancy thought.
- - - What ? You think I don't see you, mom ? - - -
- - - I wonder wether he sees... - - - She wondered.
"I know you're looking." Matt suddenly said.
Nancy laughed a bit. Matt didn't.
"Can you please stop looking at me ? I'd appreciate."
"Sorry." His mother quickly said.
- - - Why is he so arrogant ? - - - She asked herself, mentally frowning.
When they arrived at TK's apartment block, Matt got out very quickly and took his bag out of the car, not looking at his mother.
He walked up to the door and pushed the button of TK's apartment number.
"Hello ?" A scratchy voice came out of the speaker. "TK ?" "Matt ! Great you came ! I can't wait to see you !" "Can't wait to see you either !" "Come on in !"
Matt pushed the door open and ran upstairs. He knew his mom was gonna take the elevator so he didn't.
When Matt opened the door, TK flew into his arms. Matt dropped the bag on the floor.
"Hi Matt ! It's so good to see you !"
"Haha. Hey ! Let's try your new video game !"
"Great ! I bet you I'll win this one, Matt !"
"Ha ! That would be a waste of money !"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Dinner's ready !!!" Nancy yelled from downstairs. TK ran downstairs, shouting :
"What's for today, mom ?"
"I made pizza !"
"PIZZA !!! Matt ! Hurry up !!!"
"Coming..." A voice came from upstairs. Matt slowly walked down the stairs, his head down.
They went to the dining room and all sat down.
"You liked the food, Matt ?" Nancy asked her oldest son when they were done eating.
"Yeah. It's good." Matt said, head still down.
"TK ?"
"It was awsome, mom ! You're the best !"
Nancy smiled to TK, and then to Matt.
His head was still down. His blonde hair almost hung in his empty plate.
"Can I go upstairs, please ?" He said.
"Sure. TK ? Will you clean the dishes, honey ?"
"Yup !"
- - - How can he possibly be so happy ? - - -
Nancy stood up and followed Matt to the living room where he dropped himself onto the couch and switched the tv on.
"Matt ?"
Matt nodded a little.
"Are you feeling alright, honey ?"
"Sure."
- - - Ohh no... Here we go again. - - -
"You look pale."
"Did you know people with blonde hair are supposed to look paler than people with brown or black hair ?"
"Of course I know that. Let's say it different. You looke white as a sheet, ok ?" "So ?"
"So ? You might be sick, sweetie..."
- - - Sweetie... - - -
"I'm not sick, alright !"
Matt jumped up from the couch and ran upstairs to the room where he was gonna sleep in. Then he walked to the bathroom where he locked the door and let himself slide down slowly to the white walls.
He burst out in tears.
"Why ? Why am I DOING this !!!"
- - - Why ? Why ? Why ? Why ? Why ? Why ? Why ? Why ? Why ? Why ? Why ? Why ? - - -
He cried. Cried like a little child.
When he finally stopped and had dried his tearstained cheeks, he unlocked the door and wandered to his room.
- - - Where's my diary ? - - -
He took it out from his bag and started to write.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dearest Diary,
I broke down in tears. Suddenly. I don't even know why but I do know I don't wanna cry again because I HATE it ! Ohh... I can't bear this. I have to find something to get better. Fast. Hey ! Why... ? No... Why wouldn't I try something from my mothers medicine cupboard ? I can take painkillers. Nah. Bad idea. Those only cure pain. And then I mean fysical pain. No mental pain like I have. But I can try. Right. I can always try. Be right back, diary.
Ok, I'm back. I took one. Pa-ra-ce-ta-mol, if I spelled it right. I hope this is good. So now, I guess I'll have to feel better. I gotta go now. I'll write later.
The Scourge Of Life, Matt.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Matt stood up and threw his diary onto the desk in the room.
- - - Hope this works... - - -
The blonde went back down. He wandered to the kitchen, where he found TK, cleaning the dishes. He didn't want him to notice he was here, so sneaked away. - - - Where's my mom ? - - -
"Mom !"
"Yes, Matt ?" Nancy said, racing into the dining room.
She found Matt sitting at the table, head down like usuall and went to sit next to him.
"Yes ?"
Nancy put her hand under Matt's chin and made him look up. He pulled away and crossed his arms on the table. He put his head in his arms.
"Matt... What is it ? Hmm ? What's wrong ?"
"I don't know..." Matt sobbed, obviously crying.
"Hey, sweetie... Come here."
She hugged him. Matt hugged back, which made Nancy feel surprised.
"You don't know ? Are you feeling sick ?"
"No."
"You're sad ?"
"No !"
"But you're crying, Matt. Why ? What happened ?"
"Nothing !" Matt exclaimed, pulling away.
His hair was in a mess. Nancy put out her left hand and caressed his head. She smiled to Matt, a little.
"You just don't get it, mom !" He suddenly yelled at her.
Matt jumped up and ran upstairs. He slammed the door shut when he had reached the room.
"FUCK !!!" He yelled, throwing everything from the desk in frustration.
Then he saw his diary on the floor, but also... his pocket-knife...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Sorry for the cliffhanger, but now I have a little more hope you're gonna keep reading this ! I hope you enjoyed and pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees Review now ! And read the next chapters ! Updates are coming up REAL soon ! Promise ! I wish you guys the best and I hope you're never gonna have to go through something like this. -x-x-x- Mari-sama~