Anymore
"Anymore" sung by Travis Tritt
Written by: Travis Tritt and Jill Colucci (Courtesy of Warner Bros. Records)
Found on Greatest Hits, song #2
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I can't hid the way I feel about you, anymore
I can't hold the hurt inside, keep the
pain out of my eyes, anymore..................
Truth be told, she had hidden her feelings well, only a few times did they reveal themselves. She was able to cover them up and go on without him noticing. Like the night at the apartment when she put her hand to his face and stroke it, she had claimed it was chalk, but there was no chalk on his face, she was able to recover and go on as if nothing happened. But time wore on and it got harder to keep them hidden. Every time she looked at him she felt herself falling, there was an unexplainable connection between them something that caused herself to reexamine the reason she had come to Vegas to work with someone who she thought of as a mentor, but now she no longer thought of him in that way. She suddenly found it harder to work with the man she had developed so much feeling for. They used to make eye contact but since she had touched his face, that was gone, he avoided her eye's as if he too was hiding his own feelings.........
My tear's no longer waiting
My restance ain't that strong
My mind keeps recreating a life with you alone
I'm tired of pretending
I don't love you....Anymore
It was hard to hide the real reason she had wanted to leave. She came to his office when she was sure he had gotten the Leave of Absence request. How could he ask why she wanted to leave? How could he sit there and be so evasive to the fact at hand? He treated it like a joke, as hard as she tried she was unable to contain her emotions. It was hard not to cry in front of him or even tell him the real reason for her leaving. The problem was him and the fact that she had feelings for him and couldn't hide them anymore. She had dreams of him every night, he was on her mind all the time, she wanted to be with him every second never wanting to leave his side. She couldn't pretend anymore, a relationship with Grissom she knew would be different, for he was her supervisor and she his subordinate, but she didn't care it would be worth it if she could just love him and he love her..........
Let me make one last appeal
To show you how I feel about you
Cause their's no-one else I swear
That holds a candle anywhere next to you.........
She often wondered how Grissom would react if she did leave. If he had feelings for her, would he admit them, or just let them pass. She had tried one last time earlier that day to get him to notice her, but as close as she stood to him, he seemed not to notice or pretend not to notice, he just continued with his work. When he talked to her, he never looked her in the eyes anymore, like he was hiding something. What, she was sure she knew. She finally gone out with Hank, but during the date she found herself comparing him to Grissom, she was glad when Catherine interrupted the date. She found herself comparing guys she worked with to Grissom more often, every time the comparison would reveal something she already knew, Grissom was better...................
My heart can't take the beating
Not having you to hold
A small voice keeps repeating
Deep inside my soul
It says I can't keep pretending
I don't love you.........Anymore
She would awake at night, and find herself wishing he was there, or that he was holding her. It was difficult to concentrate when he stood behind her so close she could feel him breathing upon her neck. She had managed to stay focused, how she was unsure, all she knew now was that the focus was gone and all she wanted was him. She knew she couldn't go on, to pretend that there was nothing between them, to pretend not to love or admit to the feelings they both felt deep down inside. She couldn't live with the voice inside always repeating those few words that would make the difference, she wouldn't be able to run from that voice, the voice that haunted her dreams, the voice that was in her head, the voice she heard at every corner. Those words that she herself knew one day she would have to say or live without the one man she wanted.....
I've got to take the chance
Or let it pass by
If I expect to get on
With my life........
She finally got up the courage to take a chance on love. But it denied itself, that day when he denied access to it. She knew patience was something she didn't have. When she wanted something she went for it and wouldn't stop until she got it. But this was different, he was different. She tried and now she needed to move on but she knew that even if she did leave he would stay with her and she would never get him out of her mind. One last opinion still remained, she decided to talk to a friend, hopefully she wouldn't have to run away from her feelings. Maybe Catherine could make him see the real reason she wanted to leave.....
My tear's no longer waiting
My restance ain't that strong
My mind keeps recreating
A love with you alone
I'm tired of pretending
I don't love you, Anymore.
If she had left, she wouldn't have gotten the plant, or a realization that Grissom can change, that he can love. The day after in the hockey rink was the first time she had ever heard him say anything in reference to beauty. But it was her who he said in Grissom way, that she was beautiful. They spent time together while waiting for ice to melt, she finally saw what she had hope to see, feelings. He did have feelings for her, and now he was showing them. She knew it would be a long road but maybe one day she won't have to pretend, and she can love him without recourse, and he will love her back.......Time will only tell, but for now, she was happy, she had the man that ment so much to her...........
The End.