Disclaimer: I do not own Resident Evil, so please don't sue me.
Author's Notes: I just noticed something, I made this title sound like something out a good charlotte song. (Life styles of the Rich and the Famous/The young and the Hopeless, add in dumb.)
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Chapter 2: Lifestyles of the dumb and the hopeless
There are many people in this world, most of which in the opinion of one red haired child prodigy, were incredibly dense and moronic, she of course had managed to find the whopper, the mother of them all, the queen bee of idiots, Jill Valentine. Oh joy. Kill joy. Currently the brown haired bimbo was standing on the fire escape preparing a sling shot, a slingshot made of a bra she had found in one of the empy houses. As she sturggled to pull the offending garment far enough for it to actually do damage so she could proceed with her plans. The bra however wasn't going anywhere, as she pulled it farther the straps that held it to the railing broke, Jill being the off balance idiot that she was found herself between a rock and a hard place. Metaphorically speaking. She fell over the railing, with a shriek and a loud crash as she found herself in the same dumpster she had been in only a few minutes ago. The two zombies still in their hiding place came out and grunted to eachother once more. (translation:Zombie 1: She's back again Jim. Zombie 2: Yeah, how many times do you think she'll go through without noticing us? Zombie 1: Well she's been through five times so far, fifteen more and I'll win thirty dollars. Zombie 2: Suckers.)
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Danielle shook her head as she leaned over the railing and yelled down to Jill. "Don't you think I should find the Nemisis? I'm going to start charging by the hour if you don't tell me where he is!" She yelled to Jill who was currently picking garbage out of her hair. As if on cue everyones favorite six foot bioweapon, tapped on the girls shoulder and put on his best menacing expression. Danielle of course wasn't phased, she pulled out a clipboard and began taking notes. "Okay, tries to act tough, attempts at being scary, seems to me you have a Speriority complex developed Mr. Nemisis." She said, The six foot monster paused and scratched his head in thought. If you dare to call it thinking that is. Then relized that he wasn't suposed to be thinking, the executives at Campcom weren't paying him to think, they were paying him to scare the living daylights out of one person Jill Valentine, and that since that particular person was currently picking garbage bits out of her hair in the dumpster at the botton of the fire escape, this incredibly small, and pale little girl who was telling him stuff that involved big words he didn't understand would have to do. He twisted his face to one that if seen by anyone else, would have caused mothers to faint, babies to cry, toddlers to hide under the bed screaming for their mommies, and the soccer mom's to attack the ratings board over exposing their 'innocent children' to this sort of 'violence', of course the innocent children were also the ones smoking cigarettes with the seniors in high school and smoking joints at frat parties in college. Now back to the scenario at hand, Nemisis then proceed with a roar, not just any roar, but a roar that angered the soccer mom's even more, caused the children to go farther under the bed screaming bloody murder, and made every dictator from Hitler to Stalin roll over in their graves. Yes it was terrifying to everyone but the person he was trying to scare."SSSSSSSTTTTTAAAAAAARRRRRRRSSSS!!!!!!" The excess wind from the scream blew her hair back, and nearly over the fire escape, fogging up her glasses and the only thing that happened was. "Two Words: Tic Tac." At this Nemisis grew incredibly frustrated, and swung his fists knocking out red head off the fire escape and into the nearby trash can, which happened to be in between the two zombies hiding place. They came up and looked around intrestedly before seeing Jill peaking out of the dumbster a look of happiness like a child on christmas morning. "So did you have any luck with Nemisis?" She asked cheerfully. The red head let out an exasperated grunt as she threw off her "Trash can lid hat" thus hitting the garbage can with such force she knocked it over causing Zombie number 1 to hit his head on the ground, thus giving him a concusion, thus the zombie was no longer a zombie but a 40 crow buffet. Only 5. 99, plus the cost of disinfectant. "This is going to take a while." She remarked with a sigh, Jill frowned, "So I take that as a no." She said in the most dimwitted tone possible. The red head sighed once more as she tried to climb out of the trash can only to find it falling over. "Ouch. Mommy, help."
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Meanwhile elsewhere in Raccoon City, a one, Claire Redfield had entered into the police station and was currently in the process of attempting to tame the licker. Elsewhere in the building Mr. X pondered his relation to Nemisis, while Sherry Briken was busy attempting to call home, to inform her parents that she was not an abnormally short 12 year old but a hobbit sent to Earth to find the "One Thing". Meanwhile a one Carlos Oliveria was attempting to tell a zombie about all his "Woman" problems, and Leon Kennedy, was enjoying the vast contents of the Police stations library. Meanwhile Ada Wong was having a rather intresting conversation with her right hand on Global Hunger, and Annette Briken was filing for divorce and a spot on Jerry Springer with William. Yes Raccoon City was always an intresting place, even when half the occupants were members of the cast of "Night of the Living dead."
Author's Notes: I just noticed something, I made this title sound like something out a good charlotte song. (Life styles of the Rich and the Famous/The young and the Hopeless, add in dumb.)
_________________________________________________________________
Chapter 2: Lifestyles of the dumb and the hopeless
There are many people in this world, most of which in the opinion of one red haired child prodigy, were incredibly dense and moronic, she of course had managed to find the whopper, the mother of them all, the queen bee of idiots, Jill Valentine. Oh joy. Kill joy. Currently the brown haired bimbo was standing on the fire escape preparing a sling shot, a slingshot made of a bra she had found in one of the empy houses. As she sturggled to pull the offending garment far enough for it to actually do damage so she could proceed with her plans. The bra however wasn't going anywhere, as she pulled it farther the straps that held it to the railing broke, Jill being the off balance idiot that she was found herself between a rock and a hard place. Metaphorically speaking. She fell over the railing, with a shriek and a loud crash as she found herself in the same dumpster she had been in only a few minutes ago. The two zombies still in their hiding place came out and grunted to eachother once more. (translation:Zombie 1: She's back again Jim. Zombie 2: Yeah, how many times do you think she'll go through without noticing us? Zombie 1: Well she's been through five times so far, fifteen more and I'll win thirty dollars. Zombie 2: Suckers.)
_________________________________________________________________
Danielle shook her head as she leaned over the railing and yelled down to Jill. "Don't you think I should find the Nemisis? I'm going to start charging by the hour if you don't tell me where he is!" She yelled to Jill who was currently picking garbage out of her hair. As if on cue everyones favorite six foot bioweapon, tapped on the girls shoulder and put on his best menacing expression. Danielle of course wasn't phased, she pulled out a clipboard and began taking notes. "Okay, tries to act tough, attempts at being scary, seems to me you have a Speriority complex developed Mr. Nemisis." She said, The six foot monster paused and scratched his head in thought. If you dare to call it thinking that is. Then relized that he wasn't suposed to be thinking, the executives at Campcom weren't paying him to think, they were paying him to scare the living daylights out of one person Jill Valentine, and that since that particular person was currently picking garbage bits out of her hair in the dumpster at the botton of the fire escape, this incredibly small, and pale little girl who was telling him stuff that involved big words he didn't understand would have to do. He twisted his face to one that if seen by anyone else, would have caused mothers to faint, babies to cry, toddlers to hide under the bed screaming for their mommies, and the soccer mom's to attack the ratings board over exposing their 'innocent children' to this sort of 'violence', of course the innocent children were also the ones smoking cigarettes with the seniors in high school and smoking joints at frat parties in college. Now back to the scenario at hand, Nemisis then proceed with a roar, not just any roar, but a roar that angered the soccer mom's even more, caused the children to go farther under the bed screaming bloody murder, and made every dictator from Hitler to Stalin roll over in their graves. Yes it was terrifying to everyone but the person he was trying to scare."SSSSSSSTTTTTAAAAAAARRRRRRRSSSS!!!!!!" The excess wind from the scream blew her hair back, and nearly over the fire escape, fogging up her glasses and the only thing that happened was. "Two Words: Tic Tac." At this Nemisis grew incredibly frustrated, and swung his fists knocking out red head off the fire escape and into the nearby trash can, which happened to be in between the two zombies hiding place. They came up and looked around intrestedly before seeing Jill peaking out of the dumbster a look of happiness like a child on christmas morning. "So did you have any luck with Nemisis?" She asked cheerfully. The red head let out an exasperated grunt as she threw off her "Trash can lid hat" thus hitting the garbage can with such force she knocked it over causing Zombie number 1 to hit his head on the ground, thus giving him a concusion, thus the zombie was no longer a zombie but a 40 crow buffet. Only 5. 99, plus the cost of disinfectant. "This is going to take a while." She remarked with a sigh, Jill frowned, "So I take that as a no." She said in the most dimwitted tone possible. The red head sighed once more as she tried to climb out of the trash can only to find it falling over. "Ouch. Mommy, help."
_____________________________________________________________
Meanwhile elsewhere in Raccoon City, a one, Claire Redfield had entered into the police station and was currently in the process of attempting to tame the licker. Elsewhere in the building Mr. X pondered his relation to Nemisis, while Sherry Briken was busy attempting to call home, to inform her parents that she was not an abnormally short 12 year old but a hobbit sent to Earth to find the "One Thing". Meanwhile a one Carlos Oliveria was attempting to tell a zombie about all his "Woman" problems, and Leon Kennedy, was enjoying the vast contents of the Police stations library. Meanwhile Ada Wong was having a rather intresting conversation with her right hand on Global Hunger, and Annette Briken was filing for divorce and a spot on Jerry Springer with William. Yes Raccoon City was always an intresting place, even when half the occupants were members of the cast of "Night of the Living dead."