Here we are with Chapter Four. Moving along quite nicely, no? I don't know…I'm ready for some hard-core scenes (lol), but I don't want to move along too quickly, ya know? Oh well. We'll see.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and a little chipmunk that sings.
.chapter four.
Seifer lay on his bed, trying to regain his breath. He never understood how something as simple as masturbating could drain so much energy. He had a theory that it could be the body's reaction to racing towards different peaks of pleasure. But Seifer was just that kind of person; needing an explanation for everything.
He chuckled to himself, realizing how ridiculous he must have looked. He hadn't even attempted to clean himself up. His sticky essence was drying up around him, and his hand was leisurely rubbing the smooth skin of his abdomen.
He knew he should've knocked before barging into Squall's office, but how was he supposed to know that the couple would be doing something like that? At first, he had felt a slight pang of jealousy, but after he had just stood there, gaping, he realized it was rather erotic.
As his hand had worked the excited flesh, he had imagined it was Zell's warm mouth, and that had only excited him all the more. When he'd finally reached his release, Zell's name fell from his lips in soft, ragged moans.
A sudden knock at Seifer's door snapped the ex-knight from his blissful aftermath.
He blushed, looking down at himself. He was in no way presentable, and he sure as hell didn't want to give everyone a worse impression than they already had. Seifer quickly stood and put his pants back on, zipping them before going to the sink to wash his hands.
The person on the other side of the door knocked again.
"I'm coming," Seifer grumbled, though he knew they wouldn't be able to hear. He dried his hands and looked at his bed. It wasn't too noticeable, but he didn't want to take any chances. He yanked the sheets from the bed and put them in the dirty clothes hamper.
The person knocked again, harder this time. "Seif, are ya okay?"
Seifer froze. It was Zell. What did Zell want? Taking a deep breath, Seifer typed the number in his keypad to let the door slide open. He was greeted with the bright face of none other than the famous martial artist. "Chicken?"
Zell rolled his shining blue eyes and pushed past Seifer, walking into his room. "Ya know I hate that name."
Seifer sighed and walked from his door as it slid shut with a satisfying 'whoosh.' "Sure, Chicken, you can come in."
The shorter blonde stood in the middle of Seifer's small living room, his hands deep in his pockets. "I, uh, wanted to apologize for what you saw in Squall's office."
Seifer shrugged as if it were noting and went to his kitchenette. "You want a drink?"
"Ya already got stuff in there?" Zell asked, amused.
He laughed. "No, but I do have water from the tap."
"That'd be cool."
Seifer nodded and got two glasses from his cabinet. "What's the real reason you're here, Dincht?" he inquired as he filled the two glasses with water.
"I already told ya."
For some reason, Seifer didn't believe him. "You passed up the chance to continue what you were doing with Squall to apologize?" He brought Zell his glass and took a sip from his own.
Zell blushed and chewed his bottom lip thoughtfully. "I wanted to see ya."
Seifer almost choked on his water. "Why?"
Zell looked down at his shoes and took a deep breath. What are you doing, Dincht? You're in a relationship right now. You and Seifer are over. He ignored the tiny voice and looked back up at Seifer. "I missed ya."
His green eyes softened, and Seifer felt his barriers break down. He had never expected Zell to openly admit that. The guy was with Squall, for Hyne's sake. And as fuckable as Zell was, Seifer didn't want to lose Squall's trust. He had worked too hard to earn that, even if he didn't have all of it. Seifer scolded himself for overanalyzing the whole situation. Zell hadn't told him that he still loved him, just that he missed him.
"It was hard without ya." Zell set his glass of water on the nearby table and stepped closer to Seifer. He looked up into the taller man's eyes, finding the innocence and vulnerability that was always kept hidden from everyone. He put a gloved hand to Seifer's cheek.
Seifer's eyes slid shut at not only the feel of Zell's hand but because he couldn't bring himself to look into those bright eyes that housed a secret sadness. He had seen people murdered in cold blood. Children were dragged from their screaming mothers. Blood-hungry monsters were let loose to destroy anything and everything in their path. He had witnessed it all with a smug smile, thinking that he was doing the world some good. Only the strong survive.
But now, as he fought to keep his eyes closed, he knew he wouldn't win the battle between his mind and heart.
Two soft lips lightly kissed the side of Seifer's mouth, and Seifer stepped back with surprise.
Zell only stepped forward and tried again, this time putting more force into the kiss. His tongue slipped from his mouth to Seifer's closed one. He wanted so badly for Seifer to just let go and forget about everything. He wanted Seifer to be Seifer again.
Seifer found himself giving into the kiss, allowing Zell's tongue entrance to his mouth. It felt good to feel loved again.
What about Squall? He wondered silently. He suddenly stepped back from Zell again.
Zell's face showed that he was confused. "Seif?"
"You're with Squall now," Seifer heard himself say.
Zell frowned and nodded, as if realizing that Seifer was right. Of course he's right! You and Squall are together. You and Seifer are over. Let it go. "I'm sorry, Seifer," he said quietly, ashamed that he had made a move on someone when he was in a relationship.
"Don't be sorry. This whole thing is seriously fucked up, but you have no reason to be sorry. If anything, it's my fault for coming back." Seifer knew he was going soft. He had spent all his life trying his hardest to be an asshole, trying to be someone people feared. And for a while, it had worked. When he had joined Garden, none of the other students would even attempt to befriend him. He had Raijin and Fujin, of course, but no one else wanted him. They were terrified of him. Seifer loved that feeling of domination. He could make anyone do anything he wanted them to do.
But then he met Zell.
At first, Seifer had been thoroughly annoyed with the bouncy blonde, and he let his annoyance be known; slamming Zell into walls, tripping him in the shower room, pushing him out of the lunch line. He had done anything and everything to make Zell's life Hell, but Zell stuck around and tried to break into Seifer's barrier. And somehow, he had been able to.
Seifer was weaker than he thought himself to be. For some reason, he had found himself wishing that Zell would come bother him. And it was one night in the communal showers that had changed the love-hate relationship between the two.
He had been out in the Training Center, releasing some built up frustration on a poor T-Rexaur. It was always a fight to the death (unless you chickened out and escaped), and Seifer was able to win. It wasn't a clean win though. He was sticky with sweat. The sleeves of his trench coat were now decorated with tiny gashes, and blood was beginning to seep through. He should've been mad about the fact that he had forgotten to stock up on Cures, but it had especially pissed him off that the stupid bitch had messed with his trench coat. And that led to the death of the unsuspecting T-Rexaur.
After the battle, he went into the showers. There were only a few guys in there, just finishing with their cleaning. Then, seeing Seifer, they had quickly scattered.
He stripped his clothes and grabbed a towel. He turned the water to hot, letting the liquid sooth his aching muscles.
"Helloooo?" A familiar voice had called out. "Anyone in 'ere?"
Seifer smirked to himself and grabbed his soap. "Hey, Chicken-Wuss. Whatcha doin' up after bedtime?"
Zell groaned with frustration. "Shaddup."
Except for the persistent running of Seifer's shower and Zell's soft footsteps, it was quiet.
Seifer continued to wash himself, his sweaty odor quickly giving in to the soft scent of the soap's Fresh Mountain smell.
"Hey, Seif, ya got any… Whoa." A half-dressed Zell stood in shock at what was standing in front of him. His eyes fell on Seifer's lean body, glistening with water. He tried oh-so very hard not to let his eyes roam, but it was a losing battle, and he found himself transfixed with the taller man's body.
Seifer raised an eyebrow. "Can I help you with something?" he asked, smirking. Zell was checking him out. Well, well, well. "Like what you see?"
Zell had mumbled, "Uh-huh." Realizing what he had said, Zell's head snapped up and locked eyes with Seifer. "I'm sorry, man. I was just, uh, going to, um, ask if I, uh could borrow your soap?"
"Don't you have your own?" Seifer asked, though not sounding rude. "What are you thinking about, Chicken?" He smiled at the bulge in Zell's pants.
The martial artist blushed even more and tried to cover it up.
"No need to be shy." Seifer smirked again. He walked to Zell and looked down into Zell's nervous azure eyes. Seifer had been somewhat upset at being disturbed in his peaceful showering ritual, but maybe having Zell around wasn't such a bad idea. Seifer, keeping his eyes on Zell's, slipped a large hand under the hem of Zell's workout shorts.
"Seifer!" a surprised Zell called out. The smaller youth made no move to stop him, finding Seifer's touch to be warm.
Seifer was pleased with the reaction. He bent down and gave Zell a soft kiss, gently nibbling on the rosy flesh.
"Seifer!!"
Wait…that wasn't supposed to come yet.
"Seifer!"
The tall blonde blinked his glazed over eyes as they focused on Zell in front of him. "Hm?"
"Seifer, are you okay? I've been calling your name for the past few minutes! Dude, maybe you should go see Dr. Kadowaki," Zell suggested, giving his friend a concerned look.
"What are you talking about?" Seifer asked, confused.
"Ya totally blanked out. What were ya thinkin' 'bout anyway?" Zell queried.
A smile claimed Seifer's usually serious features. "Memories."
Zell was utterly confused at the short reply, but he didn't want to press the issue. "Okay, well, I'm gonna go. Are you sure you're okay?"
Seifer nodded and ran a hand through his short blonde hair. Had he really blanked out? If Zell was so concerned, he must have. "I'm fine, Chicken. Thanks for pretending to care." His voice came out harsh and annoyed.
Zell looked at Seifer sadly, wondering what had happened. They had been fine just a few moments ago. Now he was back to being the regular Seifer, making snappy comments. "Okay. See ya later then." He walked past Seifer and saw himself to the door, letting himself out.
The tall man shook his head, thoroughly annoyed with himself. Zell had come by to check up on him, and he had snapped on him. He was angry. He was hurt. Angry because Zell had moved on, and he hadn't. Hurt because Zell didn't care for him anymore. Seifer wanted to feel needed. He needed to feel needed. Now… He felt unwanted.
Sighing, he sat on his bed and put his head in his hands. Of all the ways to feel, he just had to feel the worst. Unwanted.