Author's Note-Wow, so many reviews in such a short time ^^. A big, big, big thanks to you all. This chapter's for you!
Disclaimer-I own the spiders woo-hoo!! JK owns the rest, well all except one bit...
A Little Spark in the Powderhouse-chapter 2
Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, Snape kept cursing over and over. Damn Spider, damn Longbottom, damn Potter, damn Weasely, damn mother fucking spider! He really wanted to hit something really really bad right now.
'Calm down Severus', the little voice in his head said. 'This isn't worth it, you let them see you lose your cool once and they'll never fear you again.'
Depends on what you call losing you cool though. The quintet behind him seemed pretty petrified, but he didn't know if it was fear for what the potion was going to do to them, fear of him or both.
Snape walked to a case of specimens and lifted one. A section of the wall slid aside exposing a once hidden hallway.
The idea of any student being in his personal quarters irked him like no other. But seeing as they were dripping wet from a potion thats powers were unknown. And soaked as they were a simple towel and a basin wouldn't work. His bathroom was the closest shower in the dungeon, and the threat of having to write five letters saying: Dear Mr/Mrs __________ your son/daughter has been killed by a malfunctioning potion. My deepest regards, Severus Snape POTIONS Master, Hogwarts. Made the irksome-ness *greatly* recede. With a sigh he lead the students into his personal quarters.
Five pairs of eyes grew wide with wonder at being in, what must have been to them Area 51 (A/N I realize Area 51 is an American thing, but its just a simile ^^). Longbottom moved to sit on a couch in front of the fireplace.
"Don't sit down, and don't touch anything," Snape growled before sliding his robe off, rolling up the sleeves on his black oxford shirt and rummaging through an armoire. Five black robes flew out of the armoire, Snape gathered them and handed one to each student, getting a questioning look in return.
"Look," he scowled. "You need to get that potion out of contact with your body. there's no telling what kind of effects it could have."
"But it was just an Adflictatio-Cesso," Miss Granger said nervously.
"Ten points from Gryffindor for your ignorance. Nothing Mr. Longbottom touches turns out the way it should." He decided not to tell them that the last ingredient had unknown properties. Better to avoid a riot.
***************************************
Meanwhile, back in the classroom, the scintilla had climbed to the top of Snape's desk and decided to take a nap on an open Potions Handbook after that bout of extreme climbing. And Snape's next class, which consisted of the Gryffindor and Slytherin first years began filing in. One little Gryffindor took one look at the desk and prompty screamed-
"Professor Snape's been turned into a spider!"
A few students dropped from sheer shock. The loud noise waking the scintilla up, the spider glanced around saw the student and began waving its front two legs mencingly at him. This calmed the students down a little, the little Slytherins anyway. One of them came forward and timidly asked, "Professor, can you understand us?" The scintilla hissed.
"Someone should see if they can find Dumbledore. You-Know-Who might've turned Professor Snape into this."
"Right, I'll go," One of the Slytherin boys said before running out of the room. The scintilla hissed like a tea kettle and started weaving side to side in addition to its leg waving.
"I think he wants our attention."
"Look, I think he's pointing at something," the speaker pointed at an airborne leg that just happened to land ever so often on a bit of text. The closest person, a little Gryffindor girl leaned in closer to see what it was.
"It says Exploding Fluid."
************************
You'd think the stress of the moment turned their brains to walnuts by the way those bloody kids were staring at me, Snape thought. They seemed to have a hard time registering the fact that they had to wash the potion off. "Don't tell me you can't wash yourselves."
Five heads shoke slowly sideways.
"What about our clothes?" Not-Quite-Miss-Know-it-All-Anymore asked.
Snape smacked his forehead in frustration. "Set them aside, the elves will clean them later. You didn't think those robes were a souvenier did you?" Again the heads shoke slowly sideways. "Good, there are towels in there if you don't know any drying spells. You only need to get the potion off so don't take too long."
The five stared at each other as though they were silently figguring out who was going first. Finally Miss Granger stepped back a little, looked up at him and nervously said "I'll go first."
"Don't tell me, just get in there."
Miss Granger flushed a little and walked to the bathroom never taking her eyes off them, looked like she was silently warning them not to spy on her.
You wish Miss Granger. As for the others, well it would be funny seeing them get hit in the head by the door.
"What are we going to do while she's in there," Draco asked.
"Wait," Snape replied. "Standing up," he added. Longbottom was looking at the couch too fondly. A faint sound, somewhat like a 'boom' drifted into the room. What? A quick glance showed that the boys didn't hear the weird noise. Snape swore under his breath and hoped the potion didn't have any hallucinogenic properties.
***********
"What is going on here?" Professor McGonagall demanded as she entered the room, the Slytherin who went out for help in tow. The class looked at her with guilty looks on their faces. One cauldron had already blown up and its owner was lying unconsious on the ground.
"Professor Snape turned into a spider."
"Rubbish," McGonagall looked at Snape's desk. Lo and behold there was the scintilla who was by now having a fit that it's nap was being disturbed. McGonagall paled considerably and slowly approached the desk. "Severus?" The scintilla hissed. "Stay right there Severus, I'll go get Dumbledore. You lot stay right were you are and for Merlin's sake forget the potions." She swept out of the room in a hurry, still dragging the Slytherin boy behind her.
******************************
Miss Granger took thirty minutes in the shower, when she came out she had a towel tied like a turban around her head and had re-sized the robe she was given.
"Obviously, you misunderstood me when I said not to take too long. Ten points from Gryffindor."
"Sorry sir, geuss I got carried away."
An extremely dirty thought went through Snape's head, and the other Gryffindors were fuming that he took points away from them just because she took to long in the shower, so noone noticed Draco slip into the bathroom.
A few minutes went by. Longbottom was looking out the window, Miss Granger was sitting on the couch looking at one of his Potions Monthly magazines, Potter and Weasley were....leaning up against the bathroom door? That was intresting, you'd think they'd do that when Miss Granger was in there. He walked over to them and scowled, hoping for an explanation.
Potter and Weasley looked up at him in shock for a minute, then Weasley held a finger to his lips and pointed at the door. Snape motioned them aside and leant against the door himself. Beyond the hiss of the shower he heard something hmmm, he leaned in closer.
"To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle.
Dance
Bum rush the speaker that booms
I'm killin your brain like a poisonous mushroom.
Deadly, when I play a dope melody
anything less than the best is a felony.
Love it or leave it
you better gain way
you better hit bull's eye
the kid don't play.
If there was a problem
Yo, I'll solve it
check out the hook while my DJ revolves it.
Ice Ice Baby Vanilla
Ice Ice Baby.."
Potter and Weasley were cracking up, and he would be in a second. Can't let them see that, he rapped on the door then said, "Malfoy, do refrain from sharing the number one song on your hit list and hurry up."
Draco made a noise that sounded like he was choking. He shooed Potter and Weasley away from the door and went back to the armoire. Less than five minutes later Draco was out, his pale face a remarkable shade of red and in his (now re-sized) dress robes. Just to piss the Gryffindors off and to see if Draco's face could get any redder he awarded Slytherin five points because he was singing in tune. While the Gryffindors were fuming over that recent exchange he motioned Draco over.
"Where did you learn that?"
Draco's gaze shifted, to see if any of the Gryffindors were spying on them, and said in a very very quiet voice. "My father."
Snape shooed him away, cast the strongest locking spell he knew on the entrance to his chambers, stepped into the armoire, casted a silencing spell and proceeded to laugh himself sick at the thought of Lucius Malfoy singing a Muggle song in the shower.
By the time he got out Potter and Weasley had already finished their showers and Longbottom was in. The four looked at him questioningly when he stepped out of the armoire.
"What," he snapped. They emmediatly reverted to what they were doing before.
Thank goodness Longbottom didn't have the same effect on showerheads that he did on cauldrons. He obviously didn't know any re-sizing spells and looked like an inkblot with a round blond haired head. His surrogate mother Miss Granger casted one for him though. Now it was his turn, before he walked in he gave them a look that said 'Go ahead, try to escape'.
Afterwords he'd tell them that they were drenched in an unknown potion, he wondered if they could take it...
End of chapter 2
Endnote/Disclaimer-Vanilla Ice owns his song. A big thanks to Meg (Saiai No Hito Mokushi on ff.net) for the the Draco shower scene and the lyrics to Ice Ice Baby.
Disclaimer-I own the spiders woo-hoo!! JK owns the rest, well all except one bit...
A Little Spark in the Powderhouse-chapter 2
Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, Snape kept cursing over and over. Damn Spider, damn Longbottom, damn Potter, damn Weasely, damn mother fucking spider! He really wanted to hit something really really bad right now.
'Calm down Severus', the little voice in his head said. 'This isn't worth it, you let them see you lose your cool once and they'll never fear you again.'
Depends on what you call losing you cool though. The quintet behind him seemed pretty petrified, but he didn't know if it was fear for what the potion was going to do to them, fear of him or both.
Snape walked to a case of specimens and lifted one. A section of the wall slid aside exposing a once hidden hallway.
The idea of any student being in his personal quarters irked him like no other. But seeing as they were dripping wet from a potion thats powers were unknown. And soaked as they were a simple towel and a basin wouldn't work. His bathroom was the closest shower in the dungeon, and the threat of having to write five letters saying: Dear Mr/Mrs __________ your son/daughter has been killed by a malfunctioning potion. My deepest regards, Severus Snape POTIONS Master, Hogwarts. Made the irksome-ness *greatly* recede. With a sigh he lead the students into his personal quarters.
Five pairs of eyes grew wide with wonder at being in, what must have been to them Area 51 (A/N I realize Area 51 is an American thing, but its just a simile ^^). Longbottom moved to sit on a couch in front of the fireplace.
"Don't sit down, and don't touch anything," Snape growled before sliding his robe off, rolling up the sleeves on his black oxford shirt and rummaging through an armoire. Five black robes flew out of the armoire, Snape gathered them and handed one to each student, getting a questioning look in return.
"Look," he scowled. "You need to get that potion out of contact with your body. there's no telling what kind of effects it could have."
"But it was just an Adflictatio-Cesso," Miss Granger said nervously.
"Ten points from Gryffindor for your ignorance. Nothing Mr. Longbottom touches turns out the way it should." He decided not to tell them that the last ingredient had unknown properties. Better to avoid a riot.
***************************************
Meanwhile, back in the classroom, the scintilla had climbed to the top of Snape's desk and decided to take a nap on an open Potions Handbook after that bout of extreme climbing. And Snape's next class, which consisted of the Gryffindor and Slytherin first years began filing in. One little Gryffindor took one look at the desk and prompty screamed-
"Professor Snape's been turned into a spider!"
A few students dropped from sheer shock. The loud noise waking the scintilla up, the spider glanced around saw the student and began waving its front two legs mencingly at him. This calmed the students down a little, the little Slytherins anyway. One of them came forward and timidly asked, "Professor, can you understand us?" The scintilla hissed.
"Someone should see if they can find Dumbledore. You-Know-Who might've turned Professor Snape into this."
"Right, I'll go," One of the Slytherin boys said before running out of the room. The scintilla hissed like a tea kettle and started weaving side to side in addition to its leg waving.
"I think he wants our attention."
"Look, I think he's pointing at something," the speaker pointed at an airborne leg that just happened to land ever so often on a bit of text. The closest person, a little Gryffindor girl leaned in closer to see what it was.
"It says Exploding Fluid."
************************
You'd think the stress of the moment turned their brains to walnuts by the way those bloody kids were staring at me, Snape thought. They seemed to have a hard time registering the fact that they had to wash the potion off. "Don't tell me you can't wash yourselves."
Five heads shoke slowly sideways.
"What about our clothes?" Not-Quite-Miss-Know-it-All-Anymore asked.
Snape smacked his forehead in frustration. "Set them aside, the elves will clean them later. You didn't think those robes were a souvenier did you?" Again the heads shoke slowly sideways. "Good, there are towels in there if you don't know any drying spells. You only need to get the potion off so don't take too long."
The five stared at each other as though they were silently figguring out who was going first. Finally Miss Granger stepped back a little, looked up at him and nervously said "I'll go first."
"Don't tell me, just get in there."
Miss Granger flushed a little and walked to the bathroom never taking her eyes off them, looked like she was silently warning them not to spy on her.
You wish Miss Granger. As for the others, well it would be funny seeing them get hit in the head by the door.
"What are we going to do while she's in there," Draco asked.
"Wait," Snape replied. "Standing up," he added. Longbottom was looking at the couch too fondly. A faint sound, somewhat like a 'boom' drifted into the room. What? A quick glance showed that the boys didn't hear the weird noise. Snape swore under his breath and hoped the potion didn't have any hallucinogenic properties.
***********
"What is going on here?" Professor McGonagall demanded as she entered the room, the Slytherin who went out for help in tow. The class looked at her with guilty looks on their faces. One cauldron had already blown up and its owner was lying unconsious on the ground.
"Professor Snape turned into a spider."
"Rubbish," McGonagall looked at Snape's desk. Lo and behold there was the scintilla who was by now having a fit that it's nap was being disturbed. McGonagall paled considerably and slowly approached the desk. "Severus?" The scintilla hissed. "Stay right there Severus, I'll go get Dumbledore. You lot stay right were you are and for Merlin's sake forget the potions." She swept out of the room in a hurry, still dragging the Slytherin boy behind her.
******************************
Miss Granger took thirty minutes in the shower, when she came out she had a towel tied like a turban around her head and had re-sized the robe she was given.
"Obviously, you misunderstood me when I said not to take too long. Ten points from Gryffindor."
"Sorry sir, geuss I got carried away."
An extremely dirty thought went through Snape's head, and the other Gryffindors were fuming that he took points away from them just because she took to long in the shower, so noone noticed Draco slip into the bathroom.
A few minutes went by. Longbottom was looking out the window, Miss Granger was sitting on the couch looking at one of his Potions Monthly magazines, Potter and Weasley were....leaning up against the bathroom door? That was intresting, you'd think they'd do that when Miss Granger was in there. He walked over to them and scowled, hoping for an explanation.
Potter and Weasley looked up at him in shock for a minute, then Weasley held a finger to his lips and pointed at the door. Snape motioned them aside and leant against the door himself. Beyond the hiss of the shower he heard something hmmm, he leaned in closer.
"To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle.
Dance
Bum rush the speaker that booms
I'm killin your brain like a poisonous mushroom.
Deadly, when I play a dope melody
anything less than the best is a felony.
Love it or leave it
you better gain way
you better hit bull's eye
the kid don't play.
If there was a problem
Yo, I'll solve it
check out the hook while my DJ revolves it.
Ice Ice Baby Vanilla
Ice Ice Baby.."
Potter and Weasley were cracking up, and he would be in a second. Can't let them see that, he rapped on the door then said, "Malfoy, do refrain from sharing the number one song on your hit list and hurry up."
Draco made a noise that sounded like he was choking. He shooed Potter and Weasley away from the door and went back to the armoire. Less than five minutes later Draco was out, his pale face a remarkable shade of red and in his (now re-sized) dress robes. Just to piss the Gryffindors off and to see if Draco's face could get any redder he awarded Slytherin five points because he was singing in tune. While the Gryffindors were fuming over that recent exchange he motioned Draco over.
"Where did you learn that?"
Draco's gaze shifted, to see if any of the Gryffindors were spying on them, and said in a very very quiet voice. "My father."
Snape shooed him away, cast the strongest locking spell he knew on the entrance to his chambers, stepped into the armoire, casted a silencing spell and proceeded to laugh himself sick at the thought of Lucius Malfoy singing a Muggle song in the shower.
By the time he got out Potter and Weasley had already finished their showers and Longbottom was in. The four looked at him questioningly when he stepped out of the armoire.
"What," he snapped. They emmediatly reverted to what they were doing before.
Thank goodness Longbottom didn't have the same effect on showerheads that he did on cauldrons. He obviously didn't know any re-sizing spells and looked like an inkblot with a round blond haired head. His surrogate mother Miss Granger casted one for him though. Now it was his turn, before he walked in he gave them a look that said 'Go ahead, try to escape'.
Afterwords he'd tell them that they were drenched in an unknown potion, he wondered if they could take it...
End of chapter 2
Endnote/Disclaimer-Vanilla Ice owns his song. A big thanks to Meg (Saiai No Hito Mokushi on ff.net) for the the Draco shower scene and the lyrics to Ice Ice Baby.