Author's Note-This story got so many reviews in such a hurry that it made my head spin. A big thanks to Mop Head and her Daemon, Veresna Ussep, googoo4you, Aeryn Alexander, All Mighty Terrestrial, Maxx77, Mufasasasasdasasasasa!!!!, sar-spasm, vv, & Athesis and Aeris Gainsborough. This story like all stories belongs to you reviewers once its posted. I'm sad to say that I may end this story within the next few chapters, as humor is like a decadent jam, best served thick and no good if its spread out too thin. Though my beloved Hammer and a few nights of watching late night game shows have given me the urge to write a story about the Harry Potter characters in various game shows. And here's where I turn to you, the reviewers, are there any game shows you'd like to see Potterized? I'm going to stop this author's note before it turns into a talk show, and surrender you to the story ^^
Disclaimer-JK Rowling still owns the Potterverse, I own my magical potions ingredient spiders. But who knows, maybe I'll sell her this plot and she can use it for the 6th book! *author gets hit by the Divine Mallet of Get Real!* Hee hee lots o' purty stars...hee hee *drops*
As soon as the bathroom door was closed four pairs of eyes locked onto the entrance like laser sights. Hermione stepped cautiosly toward the door, lifted her wand, and...wait, where was her wand? She looked questioningly at the boys, none of which had their wands. Who brought a wand with them to Potions when the next class was Care of Magical Creatures anyway? She flopped back on the couch and sighed, loudly, letting her limbs fall lax.
"Don't," Draco imitated the noise she made once she hit the couch "us. We weren't the only one's to forget our wands."
"I wasn't, "Hermione sighed again imitating the sound she recently made "-ing you. I was just annoyed about the predicament we got ourselves into."
"Well it wasn't my fault," Draco sneered glancing at Harry and Neville.
"In case you didn't notice Malfoy, you're outnumbered four to one," Ron stood defiantly, hands on hips with a smug grin tracing its way across his face.
"That's four to *two* if you're so intent on keeping score, Mr. Weasley," Snape's voice floated out of the bathroom. Ron's ego deflated faster than an air matress under a blue whale. Harry, Hermione, and Draco were shocked and poor Neville looked like he was about to have a heart attack.
Besides the almost heart attack inducing shock Neville didn't look too well. His face was bright red and his eyes were darting every which way. Even if he wasn't curled up into a tiny ball on the foot of Snape's bed he looked pathetic. Was it just them or was he slowly getting fuzzier?
"I don't f-feel so good," Neville burped out before...JUMPIN' JIMINY! The four other students rubbed their eyes in confusion. The crack of Snape's bedframe brought all into this-is-really-happening!!-land. The Gryffindor trio grabbed onto each other and cowered behind the couch, Draco seeking shelter in the armoire.
"What is going on out here!" Snape thundered, stepping out of the bathroom in a green and silver satin bathrobe over black slacks. Give him a cigar and put him in a frat house and he'd fit in, in a Hogwarts edition of Revenge of the Nerds. Anyway, he took one look out the door and promptly...fell to the floor in utter shock.
Before his head got to the floor and he blacked out he wondered if there was a record for the most unfortunate happenings in a single twenty four hour period.
***************************************************************
The scintilla was in the opposite mood Snape was in, since the students were sitting quietly at their desks, the spider could get some sleep. But that was promptly shot to hell when out of the blue a hand came and plucked him off the comfy Potions handbook.
"Well, well Severus what have you done now," a cheery voice said.
"Pwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," said the scintilla.
"Severus," McGonagall scolded. "Don't talk to the headmaster like that!"
"Pwwwwwwwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssshhhhhhhh!"
"Class is dismissed, you may go back to your common rooms," Dumbledore waved them off with his free hand.
"Albus, it looks like he's hurt. His leg is gone and it looks like some of its eyes are too."
"Really!" Dumbledore held up the spider and examined it. "Yes! We've finally gotten what we need to defeat Voldemort."
*****************-Don't ya'll just love my cliffhangers-*******
Snape finally woke up to find four children staring down at him like he was dead. One was a tall redheaded boy with blue eyes, the next was a girl with bushy brown hair and hazel eyes, then came another boy with black hair, glasses over vivid green eyes, and a cut like a bolt of lightning on his forehead, the last kid was an arrogant looking fellow with platinum blonde hair and blue eyes. Wait a second, did he know them from somewhere. Think, think, think, what was his name anyway? Severus, yeah that was it, now who were these kids? Hmmm, the boys looked familiar in a way, wait it was coming to him now...
"Potter," he growled.
"I didn't do it," the black haired boy said defensivly putting his arms in front of him like a sheild.
He turned and looked at the blonde boy, who leaned a little closer and whispered "Professor are you all right?"
Professor? Me? "That's a good one Lucius, didn't think you had a funny bone in your body."
Lucius turned and looked at Potter with a questioning look. The question being 'What did you do to him'? Why was Lucius with Potter anyway, and who were the other two? That other boy was a Weasely for sure ah, it had to be-
"So, Potter trying to corrupt young Bill here are you now?"
Bill looked at Potter and Potter shrugged. Allright that was three down and one left, that girl. Who the hell was she? He might have said Lily Evans but no, Lily didn't have brown hair. Ah who cares she was probably just a passerby. Why was he lying on the floor anyway, Potter probably did something to make him fall. He was glad that Lucius arrived, now they could teach Potter a lesson or two, he stood up and found that he towered over the others. What? He was tall but not that tall! Hell, Lucius was taller than he was and even he was looking up at him.
Never mind the height change, where on earth where they? He didn't recognize this room at all, for that matter he didn't recognize his own clothes, geez they just screamed 'scored!' he thought he'd remember something like that. But it was what was in the room that shocked him the most. There was what used to be a four poster bed and sitting on top of that in a shredded black robe...a thourobred horse?
Disclaimer-JK Rowling still owns the Potterverse, I own my magical potions ingredient spiders. But who knows, maybe I'll sell her this plot and she can use it for the 6th book! *author gets hit by the Divine Mallet of Get Real!* Hee hee lots o' purty stars...hee hee *drops*
As soon as the bathroom door was closed four pairs of eyes locked onto the entrance like laser sights. Hermione stepped cautiosly toward the door, lifted her wand, and...wait, where was her wand? She looked questioningly at the boys, none of which had their wands. Who brought a wand with them to Potions when the next class was Care of Magical Creatures anyway? She flopped back on the couch and sighed, loudly, letting her limbs fall lax.
"Don't," Draco imitated the noise she made once she hit the couch "us. We weren't the only one's to forget our wands."
"I wasn't, "Hermione sighed again imitating the sound she recently made "-ing you. I was just annoyed about the predicament we got ourselves into."
"Well it wasn't my fault," Draco sneered glancing at Harry and Neville.
"In case you didn't notice Malfoy, you're outnumbered four to one," Ron stood defiantly, hands on hips with a smug grin tracing its way across his face.
"That's four to *two* if you're so intent on keeping score, Mr. Weasley," Snape's voice floated out of the bathroom. Ron's ego deflated faster than an air matress under a blue whale. Harry, Hermione, and Draco were shocked and poor Neville looked like he was about to have a heart attack.
Besides the almost heart attack inducing shock Neville didn't look too well. His face was bright red and his eyes were darting every which way. Even if he wasn't curled up into a tiny ball on the foot of Snape's bed he looked pathetic. Was it just them or was he slowly getting fuzzier?
"I don't f-feel so good," Neville burped out before...JUMPIN' JIMINY! The four other students rubbed their eyes in confusion. The crack of Snape's bedframe brought all into this-is-really-happening!!-land. The Gryffindor trio grabbed onto each other and cowered behind the couch, Draco seeking shelter in the armoire.
"What is going on out here!" Snape thundered, stepping out of the bathroom in a green and silver satin bathrobe over black slacks. Give him a cigar and put him in a frat house and he'd fit in, in a Hogwarts edition of Revenge of the Nerds. Anyway, he took one look out the door and promptly...fell to the floor in utter shock.
Before his head got to the floor and he blacked out he wondered if there was a record for the most unfortunate happenings in a single twenty four hour period.
***************************************************************
The scintilla was in the opposite mood Snape was in, since the students were sitting quietly at their desks, the spider could get some sleep. But that was promptly shot to hell when out of the blue a hand came and plucked him off the comfy Potions handbook.
"Well, well Severus what have you done now," a cheery voice said.
"Pwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," said the scintilla.
"Severus," McGonagall scolded. "Don't talk to the headmaster like that!"
"Pwwwwwwwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssshhhhhhhh!"
"Class is dismissed, you may go back to your common rooms," Dumbledore waved them off with his free hand.
"Albus, it looks like he's hurt. His leg is gone and it looks like some of its eyes are too."
"Really!" Dumbledore held up the spider and examined it. "Yes! We've finally gotten what we need to defeat Voldemort."
*****************-Don't ya'll just love my cliffhangers-*******
Snape finally woke up to find four children staring down at him like he was dead. One was a tall redheaded boy with blue eyes, the next was a girl with bushy brown hair and hazel eyes, then came another boy with black hair, glasses over vivid green eyes, and a cut like a bolt of lightning on his forehead, the last kid was an arrogant looking fellow with platinum blonde hair and blue eyes. Wait a second, did he know them from somewhere. Think, think, think, what was his name anyway? Severus, yeah that was it, now who were these kids? Hmmm, the boys looked familiar in a way, wait it was coming to him now...
"Potter," he growled.
"I didn't do it," the black haired boy said defensivly putting his arms in front of him like a sheild.
He turned and looked at the blonde boy, who leaned a little closer and whispered "Professor are you all right?"
Professor? Me? "That's a good one Lucius, didn't think you had a funny bone in your body."
Lucius turned and looked at Potter with a questioning look. The question being 'What did you do to him'? Why was Lucius with Potter anyway, and who were the other two? That other boy was a Weasely for sure ah, it had to be-
"So, Potter trying to corrupt young Bill here are you now?"
Bill looked at Potter and Potter shrugged. Allright that was three down and one left, that girl. Who the hell was she? He might have said Lily Evans but no, Lily didn't have brown hair. Ah who cares she was probably just a passerby. Why was he lying on the floor anyway, Potter probably did something to make him fall. He was glad that Lucius arrived, now they could teach Potter a lesson or two, he stood up and found that he towered over the others. What? He was tall but not that tall! Hell, Lucius was taller than he was and even he was looking up at him.
Never mind the height change, where on earth where they? He didn't recognize this room at all, for that matter he didn't recognize his own clothes, geez they just screamed 'scored!' he thought he'd remember something like that. But it was what was in the room that shocked him the most. There was what used to be a four poster bed and sitting on top of that in a shredded black robe...a thourobred horse?