Disclaimer-Same old, same old, spiders=mine, everything else=JK Rowling end of disclaimer.
Snape stared in amazement at the yellow-brown horse that was staring at him in terror on the bed. Then swirled around and glowered at Potter, who visably blanched. Potter was afraid of him, oh happy day!
"What's the matter Potter, not so brave without Black, Pettigrew or the werewolf?"
*************************************************************************
"Hey Dumbledore, how ya doin'," the black haired man that the moment before was a black dog called gleefully as he entered the headmaster's office.
"I'm fine Sirius how about yourself," Dumbledore replied with a twinkle in his eye.
"Never better, now what was it you needed me for?"
"I was wondering if you would watch Severus while Minerva and I.....make an important house call."
A house call? Watch Severus? "Why, is he on suicide watch or something?"
"No, Fawkes is trying to eat him and I don't trust leaving him here for a moment."
Black's eyes widened considerably before he fell on the floor laughing at the absurdity of the request.
"Unfortunatly that's not the only thing wrong with Severus," Dumbledore continued.
"When is there ever just one thing wrong with Snape?" Black replied after he composed himself.
"See for yourself," Dumbledore pulled the cover off a small birdcage on his desk, in which the scintilla was continuing its nap.
Lines of fascination carved across Black's face and he approached the cage. "Hey little buggie," he said poking the scintilla's big abdomen.
Pwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
"Woah, didn't like that too much didja?"
"Sirius, please stop teasing him," a flash that can only be described as demonic brilliance appeared behind the twinkle in Dumbledore's eye. "On the other hand, do muff him up a bit before we get back, really agitate him."
"Ok," Black spouted happily while grabbing a quill pen off Dumbledore's desk.
**********************************************************************
There was something rotten in Denmark; why was he so tall and in these robes, why was Bill Weasly taller than James Potter, why was Lucius looking so nervous, why was there a horse in Hogwarts, and why did that girl think she knew him, not that he minded that last bit. Snape had already pinched himself, so he wasn't dreaming. He was the only one with a wand at the moment, and it would be no fun dueling Potter without Lucius' demonicly imaginative curses. There was only one thing left to do, find the headmaster and hopefully get Potter and his gang of misfits expelled. He'd need a witness though, ah but Lucius should have obviously saw it.
"Lucius," he whispered, getting down on Lucius' level.
"Sir?"
"Since when did you call me sir?"
"Since I came to Hogwarts."
"What did Potter and Weasely do to you Lucius?"
"........Got me trapped down here for one thing."
"Is that all?"
"Yes, sir."
"Lucius......Lucius!"
"Sir."
"Don't call me sir anymore."
"All right."
Snape stood up and scowled down at Potter, Bill, and the mystery girl. "You've reached the end of your ladder now Potter. As soon as the headmaster hears about this that is."
"Can we go with you," Bill asked. The rest of them, even the horse on the bed agreed to that statement.
"Funny, I didn't know you wanted to be expelled so badly. All right then let's go," he said, walking out the door as though it was never shut up as tightly as a vault in Gringotts. The four kids and the horse looked at each other nervously before following.
*************
In a dark forboding house in a remote corner of Britain, the Dark Lord Voldemort sat in his throne, one arm on his lap the other hand on his chin. His beady red eyes scanned the room briefly and he said in a dark and ominous voice-
"Bishop to G-5."
The white bishop on the king's side glided across the board, landed next to a black pawn and deftly skewered the hunched figure. Voldemort levitated the little Dirt Devil by his side and sucked up the black dust.
Lucius Malfoy scanned the board and his steel eyes flashed with glee, he gave the Dark Lord a charming smile before saying "Knight to C-1, Checkmate." The black knight slid across the board and stopped next to the white king, who dropped his sword before the knight knocked his head off with its mace.
Nagini, who was curled around Voldemort's neck as usual, made a few gasping sounds that sounded like laughter.
"My Lord, shouldn't we be planning our next act of deviousness?"
"No, not untill I get this game. The world has been waiting for me for thirteen years, I'm sure it won't mind waiting a little longer."
"Maybe Crabbe would be a better opponent for you my Lord?"
"I already beat him."
"Goyle?"
"Him too."
"Pettigrew?"
"Been there, done that."
"Nott?"
"Mmmm-hmmm."
"MacNair?"
"Yup."
"Snape?"
"Uh-huh."
"Avery?"
"Yes."
"Mulciber?"
"He was worse than Crabbe and Goyle."
"Rookwood?"
"Old conquest."
"Travers?"
"He stunk."
"My lord, you've beaten everyone but me. Surely that must be good enough for you."
"I will not rest untill I master this game, as I have mastered everything else."
"Yes master," Lucius began rapairing the black peices while wondering what consequences were in store for him if he continued to beat Voldemort. He was considering throwing the next game in the Dark Lord's favor when the doorbell rang. Both Dark Lord and Death Eater stared at it in astonishment.
"Must be some dumb Muggle kids, might as well catch them and give them to MacNair to play with, Lucius get the door."
Lucius glanced across the room and saw MacNair out of the corner of his eye. "MacNair, get the door."
"Pettigrew, get the door."
"Crabbe, get the door."
"Goyle, get de door."
Goyle looked around for someone lower than him on the Death Eater ladder and found noone. He grumbled, cursed and opened the door."
There was a terrified looking postman there holding a slip of white paper. "G-g-g-g-good afternoon s-s-s-s-sir, is there a m-m-m-m-mister," he looked at the paper which turned out to be a letter. "Vol D. Mort h-h-h-h-here?"
Goyle scratched his head, he shut the door on the postman and shouted "Anybodys here named Mort?" He got a look of confusion from all present.
"Get the postman, before he runs away," MacNair yelled.
Goyle opened the door and grabbed the postman before he could slink off, and took the letter from him. "Vol D. Mort? I knows I heard that name before."
"Goyle, did you just call the master by his true name?" Lucius glowered at him.
"Uh-un Lucius, I was just wonderin' if knew someone named Vol D. Mort."
Lucius shook his head, muttering something about Goyle being a disspointment to his blood. "Three guesses on who it is?"
The game intrigued Goyle, who smiled and began thinking his first guess. Lucius sighed, summoned the letter out of Goyle's hand and handed it to Voldemort.
"They spelled my name wrong!!" The Dark Lord screeched.
"Muggles have a talent for doing that, must run in their blood."
"Why are Muggles writing to me!"
"I haven't the slightest idea my Lord."
"Is it the author of this story!" Goyle yelled.
Voldemort opened the letter and began reading it. While he was reading his red eyes glowed brighter and his face screwed up in a distastefull expression. After a few moments steam shot out of what were his ears. "Shit!" he roared.
The Death Eaters stopped what they were doing and stared at the Dark Lord in astonishment. It just wasn't like him to suddenly shout cuss words at the top of his lungs.
"Is it the ice cream man!" Goyle yelled again.
"Look at this," Voldemort pratically plastered the letter on Lucius' face.
Lucius peeled the letter off his face and looked at it. A few moments later he gasped "Shee-at." After a brief moment of stunned disbelief he followed up with, "My Lord, Dumbledore is attacking you via a Muggle organization. The British Society of Preventing Cruelty to Animals? That can't be legal, we're the ones that should be doing that!"
"Is it the president of the British Society of Preventing Cruelty to Animals!" Goyle hollered at the top of his lungs.
"Goyle, come here," Lucius said dangerously. Goyle waddled over to the chair in front of the throne and Lucius smacked him upside the head with his serpent cane. The blow looked like it didn't phase the big man at all, but the expression on his face was similar to a little puppy's after its master scolds him for peeing on the rug. Goyle hung his head in shame and walked back to his room in Voldemort's house. "No that that's out of the way," Lucius continued. "I'm going to see if I can get Fudge drunk enough to fire Dumbledore."
Voldemort cleared his throat, pointed at the chess board and scowled.
"Oh right, after you beat me at chess."
**************************************
By now Snape, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, and Neville the horse were outside the gargoyle that gaurded the entrance to Dumbledore's quarters. The thing was although he somehow knew that this was the door to the Headmaster's office, Snape didn't know the password.
"Did you forget the password?" That girl asked him.
"If I did we'd be in wouldn't we?"
"I think I know it," Potter said. "Pepper Imps, Ice Mice, Sugar Quills, Jelly Slugs, Lemon Drops, Sherbert Lemons, Peppermint Frogs, Cockroach Clusters-"
The gargoyle swung to the side, revealing a long hallway. After the group finished commenting on the nastiness of Cockroach Clusters they entered the hallway only to be intercepted by Professor McGonagall. She started to frown at them and tell them that Dumbledore wasn't accepting any visitors, but then she saw Snape.
"Severus?" she said nervously.
"Is that you Professor McGonagall, who'd you get so old so fast?"
That comment really pissed McGonagall off. She clenched her teeth, balled her fists, stalked over to Snape and punched him in the jaw with everything she had. Which ended up knocking him flat out. "Sirius," she called.
Black bounded down the stairs, "Yes? Oh what's up Harry, Ron, Hermione? Where'd you get the horse?"
"No time for that Sirius," McGonagall said. "Take Severus and lock him in the closet until Dumbledore's done talking with the man from the BSPCA."
"But Severus is up there with Dumbledore isn't he?"
McGonagall pointed to the floor.
"All right then, geuss we should lock houdini up, he'll ruin the plan if he shows his face." Black sauntered over to where Snape was lying and bent down to grab his foot.
Snape's nose twicthed and he sat bolt up right. "Black?" he spat.
Black screamed, McGonagall screamed, Neville neighed, Ron belched, Harry shifted nervously, Draco gave Ron the evil eye, Hermione sighed at the insanity of the situation.
"What's going on down there," Dumbledore appeared on the stairs carrying the bird cage with the scintilla.
"Severus," McGonagall squeaked.
"Is right here," Dumbledore pointed at the cage.
"No I'm not," Snape replied.
Dumbledore's twinkly eyes grew another inch wider. He looked from spider to Potions Master and back again several times. Then his eyebrows furrowed together.
"You mean all this time you were you!" As noone in the room had ever seen Dumbledore mad before this was extremely scary. Smoke drifted down from his nose, he put the cage down, took his shoe off and threw it at Snape. The shoe bounced off his head, and Snape just sat there staring in shock with everyone else in the room. Then, as suddenly as it appeared the rage lifted from his face and the usual Dumbledore happiness came back. "Severus why don't you come into my office and tell me what happened. Minerva send the children back to their common rooms."
It took awhile for Snape to register what Dumbledore said, but he got into Dumbledore's office all the same.
Dumbledore summoned some tea and offered him a lemon drop, which for the first time in his life, he accepted. Then Dumbledore put the scintilla's cage on the desk. "Do you mind telling me what this is?"
Snape's eyes grew bigger than anyone in this story's had been. "That's the scintilla that escaped yesterday. I thought he was dead."
"Is it your familiar?"
"No, potions ingredient. I thought it got evaporated in Neville's potion earlier today."
"Well then, explain your side of the story and I'll tell mine."
So Snape told his story, editing the part about Draco singing in the shower, himself cracking up in his armoire and everything else that happened in between him ending his shower and waking up staring at Black's face simply because he couldn't remember that part and he wanted to keep his dignity regarding the formers. And then Dumbledore told him about the students thinking he was a spider and the whole BSPCA thing, which had Snape cracking up harder than the whole shower incident.
"What about him?" Dumbledore pointed at the scintilla.
"He started this whole mess, the only thing I want to do to him is introduce him to the bottom of my boot."
Pwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
"Hagrid would be very intrested in him. And he seems to be intellegent, he fooled all of us into thinking he was you."
Snape scowled, "It's a dumb spider nothing more than eight, well in his case seven legs and an appetite."
Pwish!
"McGonagall seemed pretty fond of him too..."
"I'll need to borrow that cage for a while Dumbledore, seems like that's the only thing he can't escape from."
Pwwwisssshh!
"Sirius liked him too..."
"I'll bet he did."
Pwish-pwish-pwish!
"Severus what if we were to compensate you for the spider, now that I think of it even Poppy liked him. It would cause a riot if you were to boil him down for a potion."
"Dumbledore, did it ever occur to you that you were curteous to the spider because you thought it was me?"
"Well, I did, but it seemed like people cared more for the spider. Your first year Gryffindor and Slytherin class really liked him."
"Then give him my job then."
"I'm afraid I can't, he had the students making Explosion Fluid, the school wouldn't last with him as a Potions Master."
So that was the boom he heard, that explains things. "If you all want him so bad then keep him, he was nothing but a thorn in my side anyways. Good night Dumbledore."
"Good night Severus."
Pwish!
Snape scowled at the scintilla and swept out of Dumbledore's office. He was tired, it'd been one hell of a day. Now the only thing he wanted was eight hours of sleep, his bed never seemed a more comforting place......
***THE END***
Author's Endnote-All the Death Eaters and candies mentioned are real, I got the names from the Harry Potter Lexicon, my source for all Potter questions. The lexicon can be found at http://www.i2k.com/~svderark/lexicon/index-2.html.
I'd like to thank all my reviewers and those who are reading this story now. It's been one helluva crazy ride, but this isn't the last chapter. Stick around for the Aftermath, translations of the latin used in this story, and what effects a scintilla has as a potions ingredient!
Snape stared in amazement at the yellow-brown horse that was staring at him in terror on the bed. Then swirled around and glowered at Potter, who visably blanched. Potter was afraid of him, oh happy day!
"What's the matter Potter, not so brave without Black, Pettigrew or the werewolf?"
*************************************************************************
"Hey Dumbledore, how ya doin'," the black haired man that the moment before was a black dog called gleefully as he entered the headmaster's office.
"I'm fine Sirius how about yourself," Dumbledore replied with a twinkle in his eye.
"Never better, now what was it you needed me for?"
"I was wondering if you would watch Severus while Minerva and I.....make an important house call."
A house call? Watch Severus? "Why, is he on suicide watch or something?"
"No, Fawkes is trying to eat him and I don't trust leaving him here for a moment."
Black's eyes widened considerably before he fell on the floor laughing at the absurdity of the request.
"Unfortunatly that's not the only thing wrong with Severus," Dumbledore continued.
"When is there ever just one thing wrong with Snape?" Black replied after he composed himself.
"See for yourself," Dumbledore pulled the cover off a small birdcage on his desk, in which the scintilla was continuing its nap.
Lines of fascination carved across Black's face and he approached the cage. "Hey little buggie," he said poking the scintilla's big abdomen.
Pwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
"Woah, didn't like that too much didja?"
"Sirius, please stop teasing him," a flash that can only be described as demonic brilliance appeared behind the twinkle in Dumbledore's eye. "On the other hand, do muff him up a bit before we get back, really agitate him."
"Ok," Black spouted happily while grabbing a quill pen off Dumbledore's desk.
**********************************************************************
There was something rotten in Denmark; why was he so tall and in these robes, why was Bill Weasly taller than James Potter, why was Lucius looking so nervous, why was there a horse in Hogwarts, and why did that girl think she knew him, not that he minded that last bit. Snape had already pinched himself, so he wasn't dreaming. He was the only one with a wand at the moment, and it would be no fun dueling Potter without Lucius' demonicly imaginative curses. There was only one thing left to do, find the headmaster and hopefully get Potter and his gang of misfits expelled. He'd need a witness though, ah but Lucius should have obviously saw it.
"Lucius," he whispered, getting down on Lucius' level.
"Sir?"
"Since when did you call me sir?"
"Since I came to Hogwarts."
"What did Potter and Weasely do to you Lucius?"
"........Got me trapped down here for one thing."
"Is that all?"
"Yes, sir."
"Lucius......Lucius!"
"Sir."
"Don't call me sir anymore."
"All right."
Snape stood up and scowled down at Potter, Bill, and the mystery girl. "You've reached the end of your ladder now Potter. As soon as the headmaster hears about this that is."
"Can we go with you," Bill asked. The rest of them, even the horse on the bed agreed to that statement.
"Funny, I didn't know you wanted to be expelled so badly. All right then let's go," he said, walking out the door as though it was never shut up as tightly as a vault in Gringotts. The four kids and the horse looked at each other nervously before following.
*************
In a dark forboding house in a remote corner of Britain, the Dark Lord Voldemort sat in his throne, one arm on his lap the other hand on his chin. His beady red eyes scanned the room briefly and he said in a dark and ominous voice-
"Bishop to G-5."
The white bishop on the king's side glided across the board, landed next to a black pawn and deftly skewered the hunched figure. Voldemort levitated the little Dirt Devil by his side and sucked up the black dust.
Lucius Malfoy scanned the board and his steel eyes flashed with glee, he gave the Dark Lord a charming smile before saying "Knight to C-1, Checkmate." The black knight slid across the board and stopped next to the white king, who dropped his sword before the knight knocked his head off with its mace.
Nagini, who was curled around Voldemort's neck as usual, made a few gasping sounds that sounded like laughter.
"My Lord, shouldn't we be planning our next act of deviousness?"
"No, not untill I get this game. The world has been waiting for me for thirteen years, I'm sure it won't mind waiting a little longer."
"Maybe Crabbe would be a better opponent for you my Lord?"
"I already beat him."
"Goyle?"
"Him too."
"Pettigrew?"
"Been there, done that."
"Nott?"
"Mmmm-hmmm."
"MacNair?"
"Yup."
"Snape?"
"Uh-huh."
"Avery?"
"Yes."
"Mulciber?"
"He was worse than Crabbe and Goyle."
"Rookwood?"
"Old conquest."
"Travers?"
"He stunk."
"My lord, you've beaten everyone but me. Surely that must be good enough for you."
"I will not rest untill I master this game, as I have mastered everything else."
"Yes master," Lucius began rapairing the black peices while wondering what consequences were in store for him if he continued to beat Voldemort. He was considering throwing the next game in the Dark Lord's favor when the doorbell rang. Both Dark Lord and Death Eater stared at it in astonishment.
"Must be some dumb Muggle kids, might as well catch them and give them to MacNair to play with, Lucius get the door."
Lucius glanced across the room and saw MacNair out of the corner of his eye. "MacNair, get the door."
"Pettigrew, get the door."
"Crabbe, get the door."
"Goyle, get de door."
Goyle looked around for someone lower than him on the Death Eater ladder and found noone. He grumbled, cursed and opened the door."
There was a terrified looking postman there holding a slip of white paper. "G-g-g-g-good afternoon s-s-s-s-sir, is there a m-m-m-m-mister," he looked at the paper which turned out to be a letter. "Vol D. Mort h-h-h-h-here?"
Goyle scratched his head, he shut the door on the postman and shouted "Anybodys here named Mort?" He got a look of confusion from all present.
"Get the postman, before he runs away," MacNair yelled.
Goyle opened the door and grabbed the postman before he could slink off, and took the letter from him. "Vol D. Mort? I knows I heard that name before."
"Goyle, did you just call the master by his true name?" Lucius glowered at him.
"Uh-un Lucius, I was just wonderin' if knew someone named Vol D. Mort."
Lucius shook his head, muttering something about Goyle being a disspointment to his blood. "Three guesses on who it is?"
The game intrigued Goyle, who smiled and began thinking his first guess. Lucius sighed, summoned the letter out of Goyle's hand and handed it to Voldemort.
"They spelled my name wrong!!" The Dark Lord screeched.
"Muggles have a talent for doing that, must run in their blood."
"Why are Muggles writing to me!"
"I haven't the slightest idea my Lord."
"Is it the author of this story!" Goyle yelled.
Voldemort opened the letter and began reading it. While he was reading his red eyes glowed brighter and his face screwed up in a distastefull expression. After a few moments steam shot out of what were his ears. "Shit!" he roared.
The Death Eaters stopped what they were doing and stared at the Dark Lord in astonishment. It just wasn't like him to suddenly shout cuss words at the top of his lungs.
"Is it the ice cream man!" Goyle yelled again.
"Look at this," Voldemort pratically plastered the letter on Lucius' face.
Lucius peeled the letter off his face and looked at it. A few moments later he gasped "Shee-at." After a brief moment of stunned disbelief he followed up with, "My Lord, Dumbledore is attacking you via a Muggle organization. The British Society of Preventing Cruelty to Animals? That can't be legal, we're the ones that should be doing that!"
"Is it the president of the British Society of Preventing Cruelty to Animals!" Goyle hollered at the top of his lungs.
"Goyle, come here," Lucius said dangerously. Goyle waddled over to the chair in front of the throne and Lucius smacked him upside the head with his serpent cane. The blow looked like it didn't phase the big man at all, but the expression on his face was similar to a little puppy's after its master scolds him for peeing on the rug. Goyle hung his head in shame and walked back to his room in Voldemort's house. "No that that's out of the way," Lucius continued. "I'm going to see if I can get Fudge drunk enough to fire Dumbledore."
Voldemort cleared his throat, pointed at the chess board and scowled.
"Oh right, after you beat me at chess."
**************************************
By now Snape, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, and Neville the horse were outside the gargoyle that gaurded the entrance to Dumbledore's quarters. The thing was although he somehow knew that this was the door to the Headmaster's office, Snape didn't know the password.
"Did you forget the password?" That girl asked him.
"If I did we'd be in wouldn't we?"
"I think I know it," Potter said. "Pepper Imps, Ice Mice, Sugar Quills, Jelly Slugs, Lemon Drops, Sherbert Lemons, Peppermint Frogs, Cockroach Clusters-"
The gargoyle swung to the side, revealing a long hallway. After the group finished commenting on the nastiness of Cockroach Clusters they entered the hallway only to be intercepted by Professor McGonagall. She started to frown at them and tell them that Dumbledore wasn't accepting any visitors, but then she saw Snape.
"Severus?" she said nervously.
"Is that you Professor McGonagall, who'd you get so old so fast?"
That comment really pissed McGonagall off. She clenched her teeth, balled her fists, stalked over to Snape and punched him in the jaw with everything she had. Which ended up knocking him flat out. "Sirius," she called.
Black bounded down the stairs, "Yes? Oh what's up Harry, Ron, Hermione? Where'd you get the horse?"
"No time for that Sirius," McGonagall said. "Take Severus and lock him in the closet until Dumbledore's done talking with the man from the BSPCA."
"But Severus is up there with Dumbledore isn't he?"
McGonagall pointed to the floor.
"All right then, geuss we should lock houdini up, he'll ruin the plan if he shows his face." Black sauntered over to where Snape was lying and bent down to grab his foot.
Snape's nose twicthed and he sat bolt up right. "Black?" he spat.
Black screamed, McGonagall screamed, Neville neighed, Ron belched, Harry shifted nervously, Draco gave Ron the evil eye, Hermione sighed at the insanity of the situation.
"What's going on down there," Dumbledore appeared on the stairs carrying the bird cage with the scintilla.
"Severus," McGonagall squeaked.
"Is right here," Dumbledore pointed at the cage.
"No I'm not," Snape replied.
Dumbledore's twinkly eyes grew another inch wider. He looked from spider to Potions Master and back again several times. Then his eyebrows furrowed together.
"You mean all this time you were you!" As noone in the room had ever seen Dumbledore mad before this was extremely scary. Smoke drifted down from his nose, he put the cage down, took his shoe off and threw it at Snape. The shoe bounced off his head, and Snape just sat there staring in shock with everyone else in the room. Then, as suddenly as it appeared the rage lifted from his face and the usual Dumbledore happiness came back. "Severus why don't you come into my office and tell me what happened. Minerva send the children back to their common rooms."
It took awhile for Snape to register what Dumbledore said, but he got into Dumbledore's office all the same.
Dumbledore summoned some tea and offered him a lemon drop, which for the first time in his life, he accepted. Then Dumbledore put the scintilla's cage on the desk. "Do you mind telling me what this is?"
Snape's eyes grew bigger than anyone in this story's had been. "That's the scintilla that escaped yesterday. I thought he was dead."
"Is it your familiar?"
"No, potions ingredient. I thought it got evaporated in Neville's potion earlier today."
"Well then, explain your side of the story and I'll tell mine."
So Snape told his story, editing the part about Draco singing in the shower, himself cracking up in his armoire and everything else that happened in between him ending his shower and waking up staring at Black's face simply because he couldn't remember that part and he wanted to keep his dignity regarding the formers. And then Dumbledore told him about the students thinking he was a spider and the whole BSPCA thing, which had Snape cracking up harder than the whole shower incident.
"What about him?" Dumbledore pointed at the scintilla.
"He started this whole mess, the only thing I want to do to him is introduce him to the bottom of my boot."
Pwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
"Hagrid would be very intrested in him. And he seems to be intellegent, he fooled all of us into thinking he was you."
Snape scowled, "It's a dumb spider nothing more than eight, well in his case seven legs and an appetite."
Pwish!
"McGonagall seemed pretty fond of him too..."
"I'll need to borrow that cage for a while Dumbledore, seems like that's the only thing he can't escape from."
Pwwwisssshh!
"Sirius liked him too..."
"I'll bet he did."
Pwish-pwish-pwish!
"Severus what if we were to compensate you for the spider, now that I think of it even Poppy liked him. It would cause a riot if you were to boil him down for a potion."
"Dumbledore, did it ever occur to you that you were curteous to the spider because you thought it was me?"
"Well, I did, but it seemed like people cared more for the spider. Your first year Gryffindor and Slytherin class really liked him."
"Then give him my job then."
"I'm afraid I can't, he had the students making Explosion Fluid, the school wouldn't last with him as a Potions Master."
So that was the boom he heard, that explains things. "If you all want him so bad then keep him, he was nothing but a thorn in my side anyways. Good night Dumbledore."
"Good night Severus."
Pwish!
Snape scowled at the scintilla and swept out of Dumbledore's office. He was tired, it'd been one hell of a day. Now the only thing he wanted was eight hours of sleep, his bed never seemed a more comforting place......
***THE END***
Author's Endnote-All the Death Eaters and candies mentioned are real, I got the names from the Harry Potter Lexicon, my source for all Potter questions. The lexicon can be found at http://www.i2k.com/~svderark/lexicon/index-2.html.
I'd like to thank all my reviewers and those who are reading this story now. It's been one helluva crazy ride, but this isn't the last chapter. Stick around for the Aftermath, translations of the latin used in this story, and what effects a scintilla has as a potions ingredient!