Canto II: The Descent
(Note: seiyuu are voice actors/actresses)
My anime was ending. The smell of dinner drew away
All the children calling them to the table
From their televisions, as I, one anime character
Prepared myself to face the double plotline
of the journey and the insanity, which memory
Shall here broadcast, without commercials, without news briefs.
Oh Rayearth! Oh Celes! Be my aid!
Oh Windam, generously on loan from Fuu-chan
Here shall your true powers be tested!
Thus I began: "Princess, you whom I am reluctantly allowing to guide me,
Before I take one more step towards that television screen you point me to
Look at me and think about it for a bit – Why me?"
"I'm kind of getting the impression from your words and that look in your eyes,"
That anime fashion victim ghost answered me,
"You don't really believe that I can actually lead you through that channel
"Well let me just tell you something (and she did one of those superhero poses)
Of why I'm here, and just who sent me
Perhaps then you will believe me that I am the one to guide you on your journey
I was a character within the circle of the ditzes , when one of the seiyuu,
Yours and mine actually, with such a familiar voice, I thought she was just in my head
to order and command my will, called to me
Her eyes were small and Asian slanted typical of the so-called 'real world'
Her voice reached through me, happy, energetic, and famous
The sound of my own voice, music of its own:
'O princess Shiina, whom the animators named for me
In their regretfully too short OVA that shall remain only an hour long
Till some fan-fiction writer decides to take action and finish it
She who was my biggest and most well known role, has strayed
Unto the wrong channel and sits on the couch beset
By such corny clichés that she buries her face into a pillow
Away from the principles of good characterization, and news of her on the Divine Channel
Rumors my dread that she has already been denied a time slot
I come, afraid that I might have already missed the pilot.
Go to her and with your cotton candy logic
And with whatever useless powers need be for her good
And role's salvation, help her.
It is I, Shiina Hekiru, who send you to her.
I come from the height of the seiyuu. When amid the animators
I stand again before the Great Network Exec, a tribute special shall be given to you.'
When she finished, I began: 'O great seiyuu who gives me voice,
I suppose that there's nothing better to do but to watch cartoons
So I shall fulfill this command and have myself a great adventure!'
The divine seiyuu smiled down upon me 'Go then, have your adventure,
Let Hikaru know of the concerned held for her by the three blessed seiyuu:
Sakura of the Blossoms, Megumi of the Fireballs, and Minami of the Music.'
She spoke and moved with such genkiness (made up word for vigor),
That the sparkles over her head inspired me to move faster. So I came
And distracted you from the pocket creatures that blocked your way."
Despite the whole improbability of the situation,
It was too crazy to be false (and she was probably too dumb to lie anyway),
So I went along anyway. Thus I began:
Who am I to disagree with the one who gave me voice,
And though I am still doubtful of your ability to guide me
Of respect to her and on fear of cancellation
I shall follow you without too many side comments
So My Guide! Princess! Fashion Victim! Let's go:
And maybe together we shall manage to get through this without too much damage."
She turned at that, and through the puzzled parted pocket creatures
We walked towards that television screen and allowed ourselves to be sucked in.
End of Canto II