Chapter Six = The Flaming Lava Wonky thingy® (Fear not! The end is in
sight!)
Obligatory Legal Disclamer Thingy: OK. This fic' has not been authorised by the Tolkien Estate, New Line Cinema or anyone else with a connection to the Lord of the Rings. The Lord of the Rings, names and related indicia is a trademark of the JRR Tolkien Estate and does not belong to me, though I sure as heck wish it did. Err. thank you. Now read this fic.
For Grace, in lasting memory of our friendship
It was raining heavily when the Fellowship reached Bordor. Duplofirst was whining about the state of his hair, Alreadygone was whining about Duplofirst's whining about the state of his hair and Gibblet was threatening to decapitate Alreadygone for whining about Duplofirst whining about the state of his hair. Phew.
"There it is!" Fido cried, jumping up and down. "The last sign!"
The Fellowship stopped bickering and turned to look. "Congratulations! You have reached the Flaming Lava Wonky Thingy®! Give yourselves a pat on the back. The Flaming Lava Wonky thingy® is a trademark of Bordor, serving and killing more than ten million people to date. Ten dollars per entry and extra for cameras." Duplofirst read, raising an eyebrow. "Well, we know we're on the right track at least."
"Does anyone have any money?"Hairy asked hopefully.
"Nope." Came the unanamous reply.
"Well, I don't see a guard. We'll just walk right in, then." Said Gibblet, his hands on his (rather large) hips.
"OK." Areadygone said with forced brightness. "Lets go!"
The Fellowship trooped up the side of the Flaming Lava Wonky Thingy®, standing at it's edge.
"Well," said Fido sadly. "Here goes." He held the jeans over the side.
"Stop!"
"What?"
Bottom was climbing up behind them. "You forgot to pay the fee."
"What?"
"The Fee! The Fee! You'll have to give that to me in exchange." He said, holding up his hand. "Give me the jeans."
"Don't be an idiot." Fido cried defiantly. "I'm not giving them to you. Not on my life."
"Then prepare to die!" Bottom bellowed, pulling a machine gun from behind his back. (I've always wondered how they did that.) but, just as he raised the weapon to shoot, a huge earthquake shook the land, and everything dissolved into nothingness.
Epilouge
Fido Shaggings sat up in bed, breathing hard. His gardener, Phlegm Andpee was trimming the verbs outside. Climbing out of bed, he sat down at his desk and started to write;
'It was a lovely summer's day in Little Hearth. Lovely for everyone that is, except Fido Shaggings.'
To be continued.
Obligatory Legal Disclamer Thingy: OK. This fic' has not been authorised by the Tolkien Estate, New Line Cinema or anyone else with a connection to the Lord of the Rings. The Lord of the Rings, names and related indicia is a trademark of the JRR Tolkien Estate and does not belong to me, though I sure as heck wish it did. Err. thank you. Now read this fic.
For Grace, in lasting memory of our friendship
It was raining heavily when the Fellowship reached Bordor. Duplofirst was whining about the state of his hair, Alreadygone was whining about Duplofirst's whining about the state of his hair and Gibblet was threatening to decapitate Alreadygone for whining about Duplofirst whining about the state of his hair. Phew.
"There it is!" Fido cried, jumping up and down. "The last sign!"
The Fellowship stopped bickering and turned to look. "Congratulations! You have reached the Flaming Lava Wonky Thingy®! Give yourselves a pat on the back. The Flaming Lava Wonky thingy® is a trademark of Bordor, serving and killing more than ten million people to date. Ten dollars per entry and extra for cameras." Duplofirst read, raising an eyebrow. "Well, we know we're on the right track at least."
"Does anyone have any money?"Hairy asked hopefully.
"Nope." Came the unanamous reply.
"Well, I don't see a guard. We'll just walk right in, then." Said Gibblet, his hands on his (rather large) hips.
"OK." Areadygone said with forced brightness. "Lets go!"
The Fellowship trooped up the side of the Flaming Lava Wonky Thingy®, standing at it's edge.
"Well," said Fido sadly. "Here goes." He held the jeans over the side.
"Stop!"
"What?"
Bottom was climbing up behind them. "You forgot to pay the fee."
"What?"
"The Fee! The Fee! You'll have to give that to me in exchange." He said, holding up his hand. "Give me the jeans."
"Don't be an idiot." Fido cried defiantly. "I'm not giving them to you. Not on my life."
"Then prepare to die!" Bottom bellowed, pulling a machine gun from behind his back. (I've always wondered how they did that.) but, just as he raised the weapon to shoot, a huge earthquake shook the land, and everything dissolved into nothingness.
Epilouge
Fido Shaggings sat up in bed, breathing hard. His gardener, Phlegm Andpee was trimming the verbs outside. Climbing out of bed, he sat down at his desk and started to write;
'It was a lovely summer's day in Little Hearth. Lovely for everyone that is, except Fido Shaggings.'
To be continued.