Part Two: Pen Pals
"Ben, I think she's really sorry." Daniel said, it was Christmas, 1956 and another card had arrived from Margaret.
She had written many letters and cards to Ben since her release from hospital, just short notes, wishing him luck, and finishing with
"I'm sorry Ben, please call. Margaret Milano." Ben read through the latest one, this time she had included a small photo of Miranda, she was a pretty baby, who seemed to be a miniature Margaret.
"Please, Ben, write to her, just once and let her know you're okay." Ben nodded.
"Dad, take dictation," Ben had very cleverly broken two fingers whilst helping his dad put up the Christmas tree and wasn't able to write. Consequently he was madder than a wet cat and hated having to ask his dad to help him with simple tasks.
"Dear Margaret, thankyou for your letters, I'm back at home and starting work after Christmas break. Merry Christmas. Yours sincerely, Dr Benjamin F Pierce." Daniel frowned.
"Can't you have something a little more, personal, Margaret is a very good friend." He pressed gently.
"WAS a very good friend dad, was. She ruined my life, she took Rose, she took Molly and then had to give her baby the name Rose and I wanted, Miranda." Daniel sighed; another thing his son had inherited was his stubbornness.
"Okay, I'll post it tomorrow, but it probably won't get there till the New Year." Ben shrugged.
"Whatever, as long as it gets you and her off my back."
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Margaret opened her letter, the address was vaguely familiar, it was a short letter from Hawkeye, she would always know him as that and nothing could make her call him otherwise. She smiled, glad for his reply, but hurt at his abruptness. "Still, it's a start," she thought and picking up her pen, wrote to him.
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January 4, 1957
Dear Hawkeye,
I hope you don't mind me calling you this because this is all I've ever known you as, and I can't think of you as Ben. Thankyou very much for your card, I was very glad to receive it and I wish you the best of luck when you start work next week.
I have been offered a position at the paediatrics ward in Portland, where Miranda was born and I am thinking of taking it up as I need the money and I will be able to take her to work with me.
Please write back, Margaret Milano
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January 17 1957
Dear Mrs Milano
Please call me Ben; Hawkeye was the irresponsible man I was in Korea. I stopped being Hawkeye the day I met Rose.
I started at work yesterday, everyone was glad to have me back and I was glad to be there. It's different when you become a patient in your own hospital and I never want to go through that again.
I heard today that you accepted the position at the hospital, Margie Cutler seems glad; she was the one that told me. Best of luck with that, they're a great mob, and I'd spend a lot more time there if I could.
Ben ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ January 24 1957
Dr Pierce,
I'm calling you that, as it is the only other thing I can bring myself to call you. You never were, and never will be Ben to me.
Thankyou very much for your wishes with my new job. I found an apartment okay, and Miranda is growing fast. I fear I will have to move again, as her crib doesn't fit in any other room but my own.
Please, come and see me in the cafeteria at lunchtime, I saw you yesterday, but only for a second. It's silly that two people in the same town, who work in the same place write to each other.
Margaret
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February 1, 1957
Mrs Milano, I will call you Mrs Milano, as that is who you are.
Dr Pierce is fine, especially because I'm a doctor and you're a nurse. I never was Ben to anyone in Korea, I was always Hawkeye, but that is a time in my life I'd rather forget. Everything for hereon is my new life; I'm a new man. I'm putting the accident behind me and moving on. Rose will always be dear to me and as the woman who took her away from me, I don't think I'll be able to see you face-to-face.
Regrets, Dr Pierce
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February 10, 1957
Dear Dr Pierce,
Please, it was only an accident, I'm extremely sorry, and I would like to see you and apologise in person. I have found another apartment, Miranda has her own room, and it is just near the hospital, it's the big block on Ocean View Road, I live in 4B, please come and see me sometime.
Margaret x
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February 14, 1957
Mrs Milano,
This is the first Valentine's Day I am spending without a woman by my side, ever since I was 16; I always had a female to share this day with. This day would have been Rose's and my second anniversary.
Thankyou for your photo of Miranda, she is a beautiful child. She looks so much like you. I can't help thinking that Molly would have been 3 months old today, if Rose had lived. Please don't ask to see me; I couldn't take seeing you so happy with your daughter.
Dr Pierce
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February 20, 1957
Dear Ben,
If it will make you happy, I will call you that. I am not happy. A woman who claimed that Rob had slept with her all through our marriage just stopped me in the street today and then presented me with a baby, a little boy, Rob's other baby. I don't know how I do it; I pick all the wrong men. Valentine's day would have been the third anniversary for Rob and I.
I spoke to your dad yesterday, he is a very nice man and I can see where you inherit your looks. He said that you are very upset about the crash and the fact that I am working at the hospital. Please don't be angry, however if you are so upset, I will transfer to another hospital.
Please do not call me Mrs Milano; I am going back to my maiden name.
Margaret Houlihan x
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February 28, 1957
Dear Margaret,
I will call you Margaret if you will call me Ben. Please don't resign, you are a very important member of the staff and they would be sorry to see you go. I am upset, after all you got to keep something from your life, you have Miranda. I am sorry to hear about Rob, I know how much pain you must be in, after all I saw how badly Donald hurt you. Let me tell you, that I never once hurt Rose like that.
Dad told me that you spoke, I was very angry at first, but I know I have to deal with it. He is a fine man, and if he weren't old enough to be your father, I would have told you to date him. He never once cheated on a woman, and he has never laid a hand on a human out of hatred.
Margaret, I am sorry for being so cold. Please meet me in the cafeteria at noon on the 6th of March. Do not bring Miranda; I don't want to see what I am missing yet. If you do not come I will understand, but please, let me buy you lunch, just one time as a sign of how sorry I am to have been so insensitive.
Yours, Ben
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March 6, 1957
My darling Ben,
I hope you don't mind me calling you this, because when I said it before we parted, I meant it. Thankyou for buying me lunch and letting me see you. I accept your apology, and I hope you can accept mine.
I have to stop writing, Miranda needs her dinner, and she still relies on me for most of her meals.
Love Margaret, xoxo
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March 11, 1957
Dearest Margaret,
I meant that when I called you that too, but I'm not sure if I know what to think. You called me darling; you haven't done that since Korea. When I saw you and Miranda today I thought I was going to break down and cry, Miranda is so beautiful, she is everything I ever imagined Molly would be.
Margaret, I had a wonderful time when I took you out for lunch that day. Please come to my house for a home cooked dinner on the 20th. Dad is cooking his famous roast. I'll talk to you when you get this letter, and arrange everything properly.
Love Ben xoxo
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March 16, 1957
Ben,
Love, it's insane how we keep writing these letters, especially when you think that we talk face-to-face now. I will be glad to come to your dad's for dinner. I heard a lot about his cooking from you during the war. Remember how you'd tell us about his special recipes?
Miranda is starting to roll now, she's a slow developer, I guess it was the trauma of the crash. The doctor warned that there might be some developmental retardation. She suffered lack of oxygen when she was born under the car. But I suppose you know that. She is quite okay in every other aspect, all her limbs and organs work. especially her lungs, you should hear her cry when she wants me!
I have to go, she's crying now for her dinner. Is it okay if I bring her on the 20th?
Take care, Margaret
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March 21, 1957
My love,
Margaret, this is the last letter I'll write because I'm going to talk to you instead. I just wanted to write you one last time.
I had a lovely time last night, and you didn't have to bring that cake, but it was beautiful. I nearly wept for the taste of something so heavenly, I remembered the time I went nuts for Adam's Ribs back in Korea.
Miranda is a beautiful child, I cannot tell you that enough. Dad likes her too, he loves any baby though, and it makes me sad to think I'll probably never give him a grandchild now.
In the meanwhile, take care my darling
My love and best wishes, Ben
"Ben, I think she's really sorry." Daniel said, it was Christmas, 1956 and another card had arrived from Margaret.
She had written many letters and cards to Ben since her release from hospital, just short notes, wishing him luck, and finishing with
"I'm sorry Ben, please call. Margaret Milano." Ben read through the latest one, this time she had included a small photo of Miranda, she was a pretty baby, who seemed to be a miniature Margaret.
"Please, Ben, write to her, just once and let her know you're okay." Ben nodded.
"Dad, take dictation," Ben had very cleverly broken two fingers whilst helping his dad put up the Christmas tree and wasn't able to write. Consequently he was madder than a wet cat and hated having to ask his dad to help him with simple tasks.
"Dear Margaret, thankyou for your letters, I'm back at home and starting work after Christmas break. Merry Christmas. Yours sincerely, Dr Benjamin F Pierce." Daniel frowned.
"Can't you have something a little more, personal, Margaret is a very good friend." He pressed gently.
"WAS a very good friend dad, was. She ruined my life, she took Rose, she took Molly and then had to give her baby the name Rose and I wanted, Miranda." Daniel sighed; another thing his son had inherited was his stubbornness.
"Okay, I'll post it tomorrow, but it probably won't get there till the New Year." Ben shrugged.
"Whatever, as long as it gets you and her off my back."
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Margaret opened her letter, the address was vaguely familiar, it was a short letter from Hawkeye, she would always know him as that and nothing could make her call him otherwise. She smiled, glad for his reply, but hurt at his abruptness. "Still, it's a start," she thought and picking up her pen, wrote to him.
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January 4, 1957
Dear Hawkeye,
I hope you don't mind me calling you this because this is all I've ever known you as, and I can't think of you as Ben. Thankyou very much for your card, I was very glad to receive it and I wish you the best of luck when you start work next week.
I have been offered a position at the paediatrics ward in Portland, where Miranda was born and I am thinking of taking it up as I need the money and I will be able to take her to work with me.
Please write back, Margaret Milano
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January 17 1957
Dear Mrs Milano
Please call me Ben; Hawkeye was the irresponsible man I was in Korea. I stopped being Hawkeye the day I met Rose.
I started at work yesterday, everyone was glad to have me back and I was glad to be there. It's different when you become a patient in your own hospital and I never want to go through that again.
I heard today that you accepted the position at the hospital, Margie Cutler seems glad; she was the one that told me. Best of luck with that, they're a great mob, and I'd spend a lot more time there if I could.
Ben ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ January 24 1957
Dr Pierce,
I'm calling you that, as it is the only other thing I can bring myself to call you. You never were, and never will be Ben to me.
Thankyou very much for your wishes with my new job. I found an apartment okay, and Miranda is growing fast. I fear I will have to move again, as her crib doesn't fit in any other room but my own.
Please, come and see me in the cafeteria at lunchtime, I saw you yesterday, but only for a second. It's silly that two people in the same town, who work in the same place write to each other.
Margaret
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February 1, 1957
Mrs Milano, I will call you Mrs Milano, as that is who you are.
Dr Pierce is fine, especially because I'm a doctor and you're a nurse. I never was Ben to anyone in Korea, I was always Hawkeye, but that is a time in my life I'd rather forget. Everything for hereon is my new life; I'm a new man. I'm putting the accident behind me and moving on. Rose will always be dear to me and as the woman who took her away from me, I don't think I'll be able to see you face-to-face.
Regrets, Dr Pierce
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February 10, 1957
Dear Dr Pierce,
Please, it was only an accident, I'm extremely sorry, and I would like to see you and apologise in person. I have found another apartment, Miranda has her own room, and it is just near the hospital, it's the big block on Ocean View Road, I live in 4B, please come and see me sometime.
Margaret x
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February 14, 1957
Mrs Milano,
This is the first Valentine's Day I am spending without a woman by my side, ever since I was 16; I always had a female to share this day with. This day would have been Rose's and my second anniversary.
Thankyou for your photo of Miranda, she is a beautiful child. She looks so much like you. I can't help thinking that Molly would have been 3 months old today, if Rose had lived. Please don't ask to see me; I couldn't take seeing you so happy with your daughter.
Dr Pierce
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February 20, 1957
Dear Ben,
If it will make you happy, I will call you that. I am not happy. A woman who claimed that Rob had slept with her all through our marriage just stopped me in the street today and then presented me with a baby, a little boy, Rob's other baby. I don't know how I do it; I pick all the wrong men. Valentine's day would have been the third anniversary for Rob and I.
I spoke to your dad yesterday, he is a very nice man and I can see where you inherit your looks. He said that you are very upset about the crash and the fact that I am working at the hospital. Please don't be angry, however if you are so upset, I will transfer to another hospital.
Please do not call me Mrs Milano; I am going back to my maiden name.
Margaret Houlihan x
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February 28, 1957
Dear Margaret,
I will call you Margaret if you will call me Ben. Please don't resign, you are a very important member of the staff and they would be sorry to see you go. I am upset, after all you got to keep something from your life, you have Miranda. I am sorry to hear about Rob, I know how much pain you must be in, after all I saw how badly Donald hurt you. Let me tell you, that I never once hurt Rose like that.
Dad told me that you spoke, I was very angry at first, but I know I have to deal with it. He is a fine man, and if he weren't old enough to be your father, I would have told you to date him. He never once cheated on a woman, and he has never laid a hand on a human out of hatred.
Margaret, I am sorry for being so cold. Please meet me in the cafeteria at noon on the 6th of March. Do not bring Miranda; I don't want to see what I am missing yet. If you do not come I will understand, but please, let me buy you lunch, just one time as a sign of how sorry I am to have been so insensitive.
Yours, Ben
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March 6, 1957
My darling Ben,
I hope you don't mind me calling you this, because when I said it before we parted, I meant it. Thankyou for buying me lunch and letting me see you. I accept your apology, and I hope you can accept mine.
I have to stop writing, Miranda needs her dinner, and she still relies on me for most of her meals.
Love Margaret, xoxo
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March 11, 1957
Dearest Margaret,
I meant that when I called you that too, but I'm not sure if I know what to think. You called me darling; you haven't done that since Korea. When I saw you and Miranda today I thought I was going to break down and cry, Miranda is so beautiful, she is everything I ever imagined Molly would be.
Margaret, I had a wonderful time when I took you out for lunch that day. Please come to my house for a home cooked dinner on the 20th. Dad is cooking his famous roast. I'll talk to you when you get this letter, and arrange everything properly.
Love Ben xoxo
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March 16, 1957
Ben,
Love, it's insane how we keep writing these letters, especially when you think that we talk face-to-face now. I will be glad to come to your dad's for dinner. I heard a lot about his cooking from you during the war. Remember how you'd tell us about his special recipes?
Miranda is starting to roll now, she's a slow developer, I guess it was the trauma of the crash. The doctor warned that there might be some developmental retardation. She suffered lack of oxygen when she was born under the car. But I suppose you know that. She is quite okay in every other aspect, all her limbs and organs work. especially her lungs, you should hear her cry when she wants me!
I have to go, she's crying now for her dinner. Is it okay if I bring her on the 20th?
Take care, Margaret
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March 21, 1957
My love,
Margaret, this is the last letter I'll write because I'm going to talk to you instead. I just wanted to write you one last time.
I had a lovely time last night, and you didn't have to bring that cake, but it was beautiful. I nearly wept for the taste of something so heavenly, I remembered the time I went nuts for Adam's Ribs back in Korea.
Miranda is a beautiful child, I cannot tell you that enough. Dad likes her too, he loves any baby though, and it makes me sad to think I'll probably never give him a grandchild now.
In the meanwhile, take care my darling
My love and best wishes, Ben