Chapter Four

World of Pretend

Disclaimer- I do not own Cowboy Bebop or Outlaw Star

A/N- Well, I haven't touched this story in forever! I completely forgot about this screen name since this isn't my main one. Well if there are readers still out there I apologize. I'm terribly, terribly sorry. I hope this chapter is good enough to make up for my ten month absence. Short chapter- still got to get back into the mood of writing Ed.

"Wake up," a voice said to her and she stirred. Her body felt stiff, felt tired and she moaned and snuck closer to the warmth that was beside her. She felt it shift uneasily as she hung close to the warm body, hoping it was Ein, for she missed Ein terribly. "Hey, girl, please wake up."

"Ed is Ed," she replied with a yawn and she giggled as a hand came and touched her shoulder, pushing slightly, trying to get her away from the warmth. She growled a warning and the pushing stopped. Contentment, she felt it course through her and she buried her face in the warmth. Strong arms enveloped her and began to rock her.

"It's okay to open your eyes." She felt a hand smooth down her never-neat red hair. "I won't hurt you again."

Ed stiffened. Again? She closed her eyes tighter, held on tighter. Don't open your eyes; don't see the world that causes pain that makes you feel so desperately in need of love. And love, the love of Jet person, the love of Faye-Faye, of Spike person! That was love right? Where was it? Were the arms that held her the love she missed?

Where was Ein?

"Get a real life, kid, and grow the hell up. Because real life isn't all smiles and giggles. Its pain and hurt, loss and regret. Everyone seems to know that except you!" Faye's vice echoed in her head as she tried to block out. She was grown up, wasn't she? Then a red hot pain flashed from her wrist and she remembered it all- the cat person, the boy with the deep blue eyes that had slapped her across the face. Was that growing up? She was in pain, she had lost love, but did she regret anything? What was regret? Her eyes snapped open and she moved her head up to look at the one that was holding her. She felt her teeth bare themselves as she growled and tried to release herself from his grasp. But he wouldn't let go as he stared deep into her golden eyes, so wide and large with fear.

"Hey, it's okay. Really. You're safe, I promise. Aisha and Gene are off fighting somewhere, and Mel is still out shopping with Sazuka." The boy smiled at her kindly, trying so desperately to gain her trust. She tried to move away from him, to escape his gaze that penetrated something in her heart. And she felt it; felt his gaze hit her like his hand had collided with her skin. No, no, no! Get away, move, run, fight! Anything, just get free!

She was clawing at him, biting at him, screaming, whining, roaring, but he was strong, incredibly strong and he waited patiently until her hysterics were over and she was sobbing dryly because she was still trapped in his arms. "Are you done?" he asked with amusement in his eyes.

"Let Ed go, please?" Ed looked at the boy, begging.

"If you promise not to run away or do anything stupid," he said and gave her a strange look as he released her without her reply. Having him trust her so easily, it meant something to her but she pushed it away like all the feelings she pushed away if they confused her or she didn't like them. "Who is ed? Are you Ed?"

She looked around, found she was in a small living room, like one in the Bebop but different, more homey. Ed shivered thinking about the Bebop, missing it. Why had she left? That memory was more than a little faded; she couldn't remember it or didn't want to. "Ed is Ed," she replied looking at the boy, her regular energy coming back slightly. She began to play with her toes, stretching them, wishing she had tomato with her. Tomato, Ein…

"I guess that means 'yes'." The boy sighed and Ed smiled.

"Who are you?" She pounced at him and began playing with his face, stretching it and pinching it to see if he was real. "Are you a Space Cowboy? Ed is a Cowgirl! Oh, Space Cowboy person as a stretchy face!"

"Hey, that hurts!" The boy tried to pry her off and succeeded only in getting poked in the eye. "Ow!"

Ed giggled and sat back on the couch she had been sitting on before. "Ed sorry," she said apologetically. The boy held his eye with his hand and he groaned. Ed moved and looked up into his face, tier noses almost touching as she stared into the single blue orb, so peaceful. The boy sucked in a breath and held it, and Ed stared at his parted lips for an instant, smiling innocently. Was he going to say something, she liked to hear his voice, and she kept looking at his mouth, waiting for the sound to come out. He wasn't even breathing and Ed got worried. She moved her head and put her ear up against his mouth to listen to see if he was breathing.

"My name's James Hawking," the boy said smiling at her and rubbing his eye once more before letting his hand fall away. "Nice to meet you, Ed."

Ed laughed with joy. She had made a new friend and she felt so good about it. Did this person care for her? Would he remember her birthday next year? "Edward has a new friend! James Cowboy! James- person!" Ed began to get up and dance around, swinging around the room, her face alight with happiness. She felt good again, forgetting the past and embracing the now was better than crying, or hiding, or pretending. She swung around to James and looped her arms around his neck, swinging around before hugging him tight.

"You can call me Jim, everyone does," he said trying to break out of her grasp. She could feel he was uncomfortable but she laughed and jumped away from him, taking his hand in hers as she forced him to dance with her. Her wrist silently protested and she ignored it. She was so good at ignoring the things that hurt her. Either that, or she was just blind to the hurt.

"Jim, Jim! Jim boy, Jim boy!" She chanted as she danced and danced her eyes bright with joy. A new friend, someone who cared! Reluctantly Jim began to dance with her and he was smiling too. She began singing one of her no sense songs and soon Jim was laughing, his discomfort gone, and his blue eyes gleaming. This was the scene Gene and Aisha walked in on. This is also the scene they stared at for a minute before closing the door with sweat drops.

~*~

A lonely dog walked down the alley way, whining, whimpering as he carried a small home-built computer at the top of his head. He trembled, shivered, moaned. His back hurt, his ribs hurt, he couldn't see well, and he was tired. Edward, he had to find her. He was guilty with regret that he hadn't been able to save her. Now he couldn't find her. He needed to, who knew what kind of trouble she was in. But she was smart, she could get away couldn't she?

Ed whined. Only if she grew up and saw passed the innocence she kept so prized, he thought.

He was making his way out of the alleyway when he heard whistling. He began to walk towards the sound, familiarity ringing in the tune. His heart leapt as he trotted painfully (he felt as if he broke a paw) and barked hoarsely as he broke into the moonlight of the almost bare streets. He looked around, the whistling had stopped and he picked his ears up to listen.

He hardly noticed he was standing in the middle of the street until a truck had him in its headlights. He whimpered once and closed his eyes.

Strong arms grabbed him and soon he was stumbling into the darkness as the sound of Ed's computer went crashing under heavy tires. Ed whimpered, barked and moaned before he glanced at his savior. Yipping with happiness when he saw who it was. The figure shook his head and lit his cigarette. "I thought it was you, ya mangy mutt. I guess this means I got to go find the Cowboy Bebop now since I have no idea where you live now." There was disdain behind the words as he picked up the dog and began walking away into the coming morning.