Brooke paused briefly outside of Joe's office before entering, uncertain of
why he had asked her to come. Certainty was not an emotion she could lay
claim to at the moment, and especially not regarding anything that had
transpired in the last few hours. Even though she had been there. Heard
his words. Lost herself in his eyes. Felt the warmth of his fingers
curled around hers. On second thought, she was certain of one thing. She
could not deny the surge of electricity that had passed between them when
he touched her. After all these years, it was the very same as the first
time she had layed eyes on him. And unceremoniously dumped the contents of
her purse. But oh that first touch. He may as well have reached in and
stroked her very soul. The more things change, the more they really remain
the same. His heart had claimed hers that day, irrevocably. No matter how
many ways she had tried to put Edmund out of her heart and mind, forget
what they had meant to each other and move on, the heart remembers and will
never let go.
It all felt so surreal. This moment of reckoning thrust before her now. So familiar. We face but only a few truly profound moments in our lives, moments where our choices will alter our destinies forever. Every aspect of our lives changed. Moments where we jump off the cliff, freefalling into complete happiness and hold onto it for all it is worth. If we dare. Or surrender to fear and watch helplessly as utter joy slips through our fingers. Edmund had once asked if she could do it again, would she still marry Tad. She had always refused to think in those terms. She could not begin to second guess the many choices she had made. Right or wrong, it was done. In her waking moments, she would not pursue such thoughts. But her dreams were another matter. Always haunted by Edmund's eyes. The same scene played over and over again. And she always flew into his arms and never let go. But could she do it for real? This moment that had passed, gone forever, this choice, was suddenly dropped into her lap. One last chance to right the past. One more time, Edmund was asking her to choose him. He was back in that pivitol moment. Could she follow him there? Did she dare?
Brooke shook her head free of the myriad of unanswered questions. Questions she could not even contemplate answers to right now, and cautiously pushed the door open.
She was surprised to see Dr. McMillan pacing impatiently.
Joe crossed the room, clasping her hands in his own, thanking her for coming. "We are just waiting for Maria," he explained, glancing at a glowering Dr. McMillan. "Perhaps we should wait a bit longer?"
As Brooke nodded in assent, Dr. McMillan exploded, "You can wait all you want, but I am a busy man!"
Not trusting his voice to mask his emotions, Joe simply gestured for Brooke to sit down with him, leaving Dr. McMillan to pace to his heart's content. "As you may have gathered," Joe began, "Edmund is suffering from amnesia...."
"I think we have all gathered," Dr. McMillan broke in, midstride, "Do you mind?" There was no doubt that it did not matter if anyone minded at all. Without waiting for a response, he continued, "Edmund's body has suffered a great trauma. His mind is doing its best to protect him, therefore blocking out what is too painful for him right now. At this time it would be extremely detrimental for him to receive any further shocks. He has regressed to a period where he feels safe. It is your job to help him stay safe. Hopefully this is only temporary, and his memory will return on its own."
"You cannot be suggesting.... we just play along?" Brooke questioned in amazement, her deep blue eyes widening at the incredulous notion.
"That is exactly what I am suggesting," Dr. McMillan stated crisply, leaving no doubt that he was entirely serious. "And if you care about your friend that is precisely what you will do." With that, he turned on his heel and strode out the door, leaving a perplexed Brooke and Joe behind.
After the storm that was Dr. McMillan had disappeared, Brooke turned to Joe in astonishment. "We really cannot go through with this," she declared.
Shrugging, Joe answered, "Perhaps it is best for the time being." Gesturing toward the door, "He is..." struggling Joe concluded, "infuriating, but he is a good doctor."
Throwing her hands in the air in bewilderment, wondering if Joe had truly lost his mind, Brooke exclaimed, "Edmund may have lost his memory, but he is not STUPID! He has amnesia, but he knows WHEN I was going to marry Tad. We cannot turn the clock back ten years. What are we going to do? Stop him from looking at the television or newspapers? He can't exactly bounce Jamie on his knee! And...." With an exasperated sigh, Brooke stopped mid- rant and flopped back in her chair, too overwhelmed to even continue.
Placing his hand on hers, Joe comforted her, "Don't borrow trouble Brooke. Perhaps his memory will have returned before that is even a concern." Glancing at his beeper when it went off, "I have to get this," he apologized, "Try not to worry." He bent to kiss her cheek and strolled out the door, leaving Brooke to stare after him, certain that this was not going to end well.
~*~
Brooke carefully pushed open the door and crept into the darkened room. She knew she should not be here but she could not help herself. She had to be near him. The moon shone through the window, the only source of light in the room, falling upon Edmund's sleeping face. He looked so peaceful. A seemingly magnetic force drew her to his bedside. The same force that had not allowed them to stray far from each other for years now. She knew she should leave, before he awoke. Before he saw her and it all came flooding back, and he remembered what she had done to him. And could not bear to cast his eyes on her again. Brooke blinked back the tears pricking her eyes as her mind contemplated what filled her body with dread.
Kneeling next to him she lowered her head into her hands, sinking against the bed. She could not shake the way he had looked at her. With love. Desire. With just a glance, he reached into the very core of her soul. As much as it filled her with a contentment she had not known in what seemed like an eternity, at the same time she was consumed with fear. She knew her heart could not endure the agony of losing him all over again. The wound was still too fresh. But try as she might she simply could not persuade her heart to listen to her head. Brooke was so close to him now. She could feel the heat emanating from his body. She was overwhelmed by the familiar scent of him.
Lifting her head, Brooke was stunned to lock eyes with Edmund. Oh those eyes. She was sunk. Edmund grazed his hand against her cheek, sending a powerful shiver down her spine. Thankful that she was already on her knees, as it surely would have sent her there. She was really sunk.
"You aren't a dream, " Edmund whispered with a smile.
Brooke could not tear her eyes from his. She knew the rising desire bubbling from every pore shone as brightly in her eyes as it did in his. His ragged breath, warm against her face, did nothing to quell the simmering flame.
"You should be sleeping," she managed to utter breathlessly.
"But then I couldn't do this, " Edmund murmured, raising his other hand to cup her face, brushing his fingers enticingly along her cheeks, and closed the short distance between them. As Edmund pulled her face down to meet his, a thought flickered, for the briefest of moments, through Brooke's mind that she should stop him. That thought, and any hope for rational thought, vanished the moment his lips brushed fire against hers. Brooke could not ascertain how long it lasted. Time being a foreign concept, as if suspended. She was lurched back into reality when Edmund released her, leaning back satisfied. "I knew it," he asserted, "You still feel it too." Before Brooke could stop her senses from reeling enough for her usually razor sharp mind to contemplate a response, Edmund had closed his eyes and drifted back into a serene sleep. Brooke stayed at his side for a few moments watching him sleep, and collecting her spiraling thoughts. She then stood up, unable to resist leaning over to press her lips to his forehead, and turned toward the door, missing the small smile on his lips.
~*~
"Maria, you need to calm down," David pled for the third time, again trying to coax her into sitting down with him. Again she leapt to her feet, pacing furiously, a million thoughts racing through her mind at a frenetic pace.
Whirling on him, she took David by surprise, as he flinched at her sudden movement. "I could lose EVERYTHING!" she cried out in anguish.
"Not everything," he smiled, taking her hand gently.
For just a moment a soft look played across Maria's face, her fears vanquished, filled with an unfamiliar warmth from long ago. Just for a moment. "I could lose my children," she said quietly, kneeling in front of him, "Can't you understand that?"
His eyes filled with sadness, David pulled her to his chest. "Yeah I can," he whispered, closing his eyes against the pain.
Pulling out of his embrace to look into his face, Maria started, "David I..."
Putting his finger against her lips to silence her, David promised, "You aren't going to lose anything. Not this time."
"Edmund is going to remember, and when he does, we are both going to lose everything," Maria cautioned.
"No," David reassured, framing her face with his hands. "NO," he repeated emphatically as her eyes mirrored her doubt. "I won't let that happen," he vowed, "Everything will be fine."
Neither of them had any clue how far from fine things really would be, as Brooke stifled a gasp outside the door.
It all felt so surreal. This moment of reckoning thrust before her now. So familiar. We face but only a few truly profound moments in our lives, moments where our choices will alter our destinies forever. Every aspect of our lives changed. Moments where we jump off the cliff, freefalling into complete happiness and hold onto it for all it is worth. If we dare. Or surrender to fear and watch helplessly as utter joy slips through our fingers. Edmund had once asked if she could do it again, would she still marry Tad. She had always refused to think in those terms. She could not begin to second guess the many choices she had made. Right or wrong, it was done. In her waking moments, she would not pursue such thoughts. But her dreams were another matter. Always haunted by Edmund's eyes. The same scene played over and over again. And she always flew into his arms and never let go. But could she do it for real? This moment that had passed, gone forever, this choice, was suddenly dropped into her lap. One last chance to right the past. One more time, Edmund was asking her to choose him. He was back in that pivitol moment. Could she follow him there? Did she dare?
Brooke shook her head free of the myriad of unanswered questions. Questions she could not even contemplate answers to right now, and cautiously pushed the door open.
She was surprised to see Dr. McMillan pacing impatiently.
Joe crossed the room, clasping her hands in his own, thanking her for coming. "We are just waiting for Maria," he explained, glancing at a glowering Dr. McMillan. "Perhaps we should wait a bit longer?"
As Brooke nodded in assent, Dr. McMillan exploded, "You can wait all you want, but I am a busy man!"
Not trusting his voice to mask his emotions, Joe simply gestured for Brooke to sit down with him, leaving Dr. McMillan to pace to his heart's content. "As you may have gathered," Joe began, "Edmund is suffering from amnesia...."
"I think we have all gathered," Dr. McMillan broke in, midstride, "Do you mind?" There was no doubt that it did not matter if anyone minded at all. Without waiting for a response, he continued, "Edmund's body has suffered a great trauma. His mind is doing its best to protect him, therefore blocking out what is too painful for him right now. At this time it would be extremely detrimental for him to receive any further shocks. He has regressed to a period where he feels safe. It is your job to help him stay safe. Hopefully this is only temporary, and his memory will return on its own."
"You cannot be suggesting.... we just play along?" Brooke questioned in amazement, her deep blue eyes widening at the incredulous notion.
"That is exactly what I am suggesting," Dr. McMillan stated crisply, leaving no doubt that he was entirely serious. "And if you care about your friend that is precisely what you will do." With that, he turned on his heel and strode out the door, leaving a perplexed Brooke and Joe behind.
After the storm that was Dr. McMillan had disappeared, Brooke turned to Joe in astonishment. "We really cannot go through with this," she declared.
Shrugging, Joe answered, "Perhaps it is best for the time being." Gesturing toward the door, "He is..." struggling Joe concluded, "infuriating, but he is a good doctor."
Throwing her hands in the air in bewilderment, wondering if Joe had truly lost his mind, Brooke exclaimed, "Edmund may have lost his memory, but he is not STUPID! He has amnesia, but he knows WHEN I was going to marry Tad. We cannot turn the clock back ten years. What are we going to do? Stop him from looking at the television or newspapers? He can't exactly bounce Jamie on his knee! And...." With an exasperated sigh, Brooke stopped mid- rant and flopped back in her chair, too overwhelmed to even continue.
Placing his hand on hers, Joe comforted her, "Don't borrow trouble Brooke. Perhaps his memory will have returned before that is even a concern." Glancing at his beeper when it went off, "I have to get this," he apologized, "Try not to worry." He bent to kiss her cheek and strolled out the door, leaving Brooke to stare after him, certain that this was not going to end well.
~*~
Brooke carefully pushed open the door and crept into the darkened room. She knew she should not be here but she could not help herself. She had to be near him. The moon shone through the window, the only source of light in the room, falling upon Edmund's sleeping face. He looked so peaceful. A seemingly magnetic force drew her to his bedside. The same force that had not allowed them to stray far from each other for years now. She knew she should leave, before he awoke. Before he saw her and it all came flooding back, and he remembered what she had done to him. And could not bear to cast his eyes on her again. Brooke blinked back the tears pricking her eyes as her mind contemplated what filled her body with dread.
Kneeling next to him she lowered her head into her hands, sinking against the bed. She could not shake the way he had looked at her. With love. Desire. With just a glance, he reached into the very core of her soul. As much as it filled her with a contentment she had not known in what seemed like an eternity, at the same time she was consumed with fear. She knew her heart could not endure the agony of losing him all over again. The wound was still too fresh. But try as she might she simply could not persuade her heart to listen to her head. Brooke was so close to him now. She could feel the heat emanating from his body. She was overwhelmed by the familiar scent of him.
Lifting her head, Brooke was stunned to lock eyes with Edmund. Oh those eyes. She was sunk. Edmund grazed his hand against her cheek, sending a powerful shiver down her spine. Thankful that she was already on her knees, as it surely would have sent her there. She was really sunk.
"You aren't a dream, " Edmund whispered with a smile.
Brooke could not tear her eyes from his. She knew the rising desire bubbling from every pore shone as brightly in her eyes as it did in his. His ragged breath, warm against her face, did nothing to quell the simmering flame.
"You should be sleeping," she managed to utter breathlessly.
"But then I couldn't do this, " Edmund murmured, raising his other hand to cup her face, brushing his fingers enticingly along her cheeks, and closed the short distance between them. As Edmund pulled her face down to meet his, a thought flickered, for the briefest of moments, through Brooke's mind that she should stop him. That thought, and any hope for rational thought, vanished the moment his lips brushed fire against hers. Brooke could not ascertain how long it lasted. Time being a foreign concept, as if suspended. She was lurched back into reality when Edmund released her, leaning back satisfied. "I knew it," he asserted, "You still feel it too." Before Brooke could stop her senses from reeling enough for her usually razor sharp mind to contemplate a response, Edmund had closed his eyes and drifted back into a serene sleep. Brooke stayed at his side for a few moments watching him sleep, and collecting her spiraling thoughts. She then stood up, unable to resist leaning over to press her lips to his forehead, and turned toward the door, missing the small smile on his lips.
~*~
"Maria, you need to calm down," David pled for the third time, again trying to coax her into sitting down with him. Again she leapt to her feet, pacing furiously, a million thoughts racing through her mind at a frenetic pace.
Whirling on him, she took David by surprise, as he flinched at her sudden movement. "I could lose EVERYTHING!" she cried out in anguish.
"Not everything," he smiled, taking her hand gently.
For just a moment a soft look played across Maria's face, her fears vanquished, filled with an unfamiliar warmth from long ago. Just for a moment. "I could lose my children," she said quietly, kneeling in front of him, "Can't you understand that?"
His eyes filled with sadness, David pulled her to his chest. "Yeah I can," he whispered, closing his eyes against the pain.
Pulling out of his embrace to look into his face, Maria started, "David I..."
Putting his finger against her lips to silence her, David promised, "You aren't going to lose anything. Not this time."
"Edmund is going to remember, and when he does, we are both going to lose everything," Maria cautioned.
"No," David reassured, framing her face with his hands. "NO," he repeated emphatically as her eyes mirrored her doubt. "I won't let that happen," he vowed, "Everything will be fine."
Neither of them had any clue how far from fine things really would be, as Brooke stifled a gasp outside the door.