Vlad-chan: Hey, fellow fanfic fans, I return again! This fic is done by me and my sister, Keiko G.O.D.!
Keiko: Uh, it's done by us, not you!
Vlad-chan: Whatever, anyway, point is this is a dual-author fic! Also, we don't own Gundam
Wing, Coca-Cola, War and Peace, To Kill A Mockingbird, Little Women, or any kind of tea,
except my special honey lime combo. ^–^ Hey, I know how to say "Goodbye" in seven different
languages!
Wufei: KISAMA! Double the TROUBLE!
Keiko: After this fic, Duo and I are going to terrorize Wuffie!
Quatre: We shouldn't be fighting at all!
Keiko & Duo: SHHHHHAAAAAADDDDUUUUPPPPP!!!!!!!!!
Vlad-chan: Okaaaaaaay, it's time to see just what might happen when Duo and Quatre have a
birthday on the same day! Ja!
Quatre and Duo's Extremely Weird Birthday by Vlad-chan and Keiko
(Quatre's mansion: Heero and Trowa are havin' coffee, when Heero notices the label on the
calendar reading: QUATRE & DUO'S B-DAY!!!!!!!!)
Heero: Omae o korosu, baka calendar!
Trowa: "... _"
Heero: You got that right, Trowa!
(Quatre and Duo enter the room.)
Duo: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! SHINIGAMI'S SWEET 16!!!!!! ALL HAIL THE GOD OF
DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Heero: We won't hail him, he's not the god of death, but it DOES have something to do with jigoku.
Quatre: We're going to have the best time! Just don't go crazy like you did last time, Duo!
Duo: Shinigami does what Shinigami likes.
Quatre: But…
Relena: Quuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttrrrrrrreeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!! How do you like your cake?
With sprinkles?????????
Quatre & Duo: -.-;;
Relena: So, where do you want to go?
Quatre: Dorothy's house of herbal tea! And a quiet book-reading session!
Duo: THE BALLROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Relena: The ballroom sounds like fun.
Quatre: But Duo's going to go nuts again!
Duo: (In a notably sarcastic tone: ) We shouldn't be fighting at all! (Bounds out to the
Stalkermobile.)
Quatre: Oh, boy! -.-;
(At the ballroom: In one corner of the ballroom, a group of little kids were getting their skulls
pelted off by several balls. In the other corner, Duo sat with several balls in his hands.)
Duo: Babies! (Throws another ball, nearly knocking a kid unconscious.)
Quatre: DUO! (Duo looks behind him, only to have his face nearly taken off by a ball.)
Duo: OW!
Quatre: (In a notably sarcastic tone...) We shouldn't be fighting at all!
Duo: Shinigami been beaned... oi! @–@
Wufei: You babies! How can you sit in there, Maxwell like a little boy, and Winner like a weak
onnako!
(Duo and Quatre get a mischevious look on their faces. They grin evilly at Wufei.)
Wufei: What are you weaklings looking at? Hey!
(Balls begin to shower on Wufei, each at 25 miles per hour! ) ^–^
Duo: Die, Wuffie, die! The wrath of Shinigami will strike you!
Wufei: OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAXWELL,
WINNER, KISAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OW!
Quatre: We shouldn't be fighting at all! But you have to admit, Wufei can sure tempt you to
kick his chauvinist booty! (Throws a ball, which hurtles for a few seconds and beans Wufei in
the head!)
Wufei: OW! KISAMA! ARRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Duo: Who da baby now, weakling Chang! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(In the corner ignoring everyone, Heero and Trowa were drinking Cola. Unknown to them that
Duo had poured sand in them earlier.)
Heero:This party stinks!
Trowa:(Nods)
Heero:You know Trowa, we need to make a little surprise for the sweet sixteeners.
Trowa: (Maniacal look in his eyes) ?_?
Heero: (Sips Cola.)
Heero: .;;;;;;;;; THIS COLA HAS SAND IN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Duo: HA! GOTCHA!!!!!!! SHINIGAMI RULES!
(Click. Gun is pointed at Duo's head.)
Heero: Omae o korosu, baka Maxwell!
Duo: Hey, no hard feelings!
Trowa (to Heero, whispering...): Let's turn the tides of this. We'll get a new Cola, offer the
birthday boys the one with sand, and they eat sand, while we enjoy normal Cola.
Heero: Mission accepted...
(Heero and Trowa approach Duo and Quatre:)
Heero: You got us good, Duo. Here, share this Cola with Quatre, as a "birthday present".
Duo: Thanks, Heero!
Quatre: Hmmmmm... Hey Heero, Trowa! Look, it's Zechs!
Heero & Trowa ( not falling for it! ): Really, where? (Look behind them.)
(Quatre lifts two cups and...puts them right back where they originally were! ) ^–~
Heero: Gee... I guess we missed him... * What, does Quatre think I'm an idiot?*
Trowa: Hey, look! It's Dorothy and Hilde!
Quatre & Duo: Really, where? (They also are not falling for it.)
(Trowa switches the cups places!) o.0;
Quatre: I guess we missed them! ^–^
(Heero and Trowa walk back to their tables, thinking they pulled it off.)
Trowa: Wow, I can't believe it worked! (Heero sips Cola.)
Heero: AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!! OMAE O KOROSU! MAXWELL!!!!!!!!! BAKA! I'LL DESTROY YOU!
Trowa: Quatre, that was unkind.
Quatre: Sorry, I had to do it!
Relena: TIME FOR THE BIRTHDAY CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quatre & Duo: Yaaaay!!!!!!!!
Relena: Make a wish and blow out the candles!
Quatre: I wish for nothing terrible to befall me all year!
Duo: I wish that Heero won't detonate any more bombs in my face!
Duo & Quatre: FOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Candles extinguish.)
(BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!)
(Cake blows up! ) ^–~
Heero: I rigged it with explosives not soon after the sand prank.
Duo: Of course, that was WISHFUL thinking.
Quatre: Rats, my wish has already not come true!
Relena: Uhhhhhhhhhhh... PRESENTS!
Quatre & Duo: Yaaaaaay!!!!!!!!
Heero: Here, Duo. (Gives Duo the present. He rips the wrapping paper off and comes up with a
small stick with a red button on the end of it.)
Duo: What is it?
Heero: Push the button.
Duo: I'll bite. (Pushes button.)
(BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!)
Duo: You sure can come up with the good presents! *Cough*
Heero: Here, Quatre.
Quatre: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, is it safe?
Heero: You don't get a cherry bomb. Open it.
(Quatre opens it and immediately braces for impact. It was a pair of bunny slippers! ) o.0
Quatre: Thanks, Heero! Just what I need!
Heero: No problem.
Trowa: Duo, here's you're present. It reveals the art of sophisticated humor.
(Duo opens it...and receives a banana cream pie right in the face!)
Duo: Mmmmmmm. Thanks, Trowa.
Trowa: (laughing ¿0.0¿) Anytime Duo! Hee hee hee… here, Quatre.
Quatre: I wonder what it could be? (Opens it, revealing a shiny new Van Beethoven violin.)
Quatre: Thanks, Trowa! This is such a nice gift!
Trowa: You're welcome.
Wufei: Here, baka Maxwell! (Shoves gift in Duo's face.)
Duo: Thanks, Wu-man.
Wufei: Don't call me that! Kisama! (Opens present. His braid narrowly misses the katana that
flew out of the box and attached itself to a wall.)
Duo: Eh, thanks, Wu-man. I guess the fact that you GOT a gift at all shows you care.
Wufei: Whatever, weakling. Here, onnako Winner!
Quatre: You shouldn't call people names.
Wufei: You shouldn't be so GIRLY, but we can't all get what we want! I pitched in with Barton
on this one, because I couldn't think of anything to get you that would make me laugh!
Quatre: Wow! A tuner for my violin strings! Thanks, Wufei!
Wufei: Whatever, Winner. I expect that at MY birthday, you won't act like a GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quatre: ^–^¿¿¿¿¿¿
Relena: Now we do what Quatre wants!!!!!
Quatre: DOROTHY'S HOUSE OF HERBAL TTTTEEEEAAAA!!!!!YYYYYEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!!!
(Into the Stalkermobile they go. When they arrive at Dorothy's house of Herbal Tea Duo is
yelling and kicking his feet in protest. A few minutes later...)
Duo: One can really taste the nutmeg in this one.
( Duo then continues reading War and Peace.)
Everyone:-_-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;(multiple sweat dropping in many sizes)
Quatre: To birthdays, Duo!
(Clink.)
Duo: This is so relaxing! I don't know why I didn't think of this before! Hey, I'm done War and
Peace, anyone got another good book?
Quatre: Here, (Gives Duo To Kill A Mockingbird.)
Duo: Fantastique. ^–^
Dorothy: Thanks for coming, Qua-kun. It's so nice to see you and Duo enjoying sophisticated
litterature.
Duo: Au contraire, madame! I adore it!
Dorothy, Quatre & Duo: ( low-scale laughter)
Reader: ¿–¿;;;;;;;;;;;
Quatre: Hey, Duo! Care to try this new kind of lemon honey tea?
Duo: Pour away, my good fellow. (Pours.)
(Heero presses button in shadows.)
(BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!One more time for the records! ) ^–^
Duo: (To Quatre ): That was uncalled for. (To Heero ):
@^$#^%@$^!%#$%^@$%#$@^%(!^%#!$%!$#^%@$#$@$#@#$$%#^%#$^$!@#^%#$^$#@^%#$!@^$#%^@!#!^
$@#^%!#!^%!#@^%#!^#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quatre: 0.0;;;;;;;;;;; Oh, the profaniTIES! We must learn not to curse, we must learn not to insult
others, we must...
Wufei: SHUT UP, ONNAKO, BAKA WINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE DON'T CARE IF YOU HATE SWEAR
WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quatre: ¿_¿ Wufei? What are you doing here?
Wufei: (blushes ) Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Just being there when I need to insult you! It's not like I'm
reading Little Women and sewing my battle suit while listening to Mozart play a formidable
tune!
Everyone: ^________^
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~OWARI ~
Vlad-chan: That's all, folks. By the way, the Quatre-bashing was ALL done by Keiko! I
guess she DOES have a sense of humour. I got her back by making Duo LIKE Dorothy's house of
Herbal Tea! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
Dorothy: Yeah, but I don't REALLY like Herbal Tea. Sure, I drink it to relax with Quatre, but it's
not like I own a HOUSE of herbal tea.
Wufei: INJUSTICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KISAMA! I DO NOT READ LITTLE WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T LISTEN TO
MOZART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T SEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SWEAR ON BEHALF OF NATAKU THAT I WILL BRING
JUSTICE TO THIS WORLD AND DESTROY WEAKLING VLAD-CHAN AND KEI-
(A sledgehammer promptly smashes Wufei's head into the ground.)
Vlad-chan: Baka. You shall burn if you call ME a weakling!
Keiko: AWWWWWW!!!!(starts pouting with Duo) Should have let us do that!!!!(Starts chasing
Quatre!!!!) How dare you make Duo go to a house of Tea!!! Do you know what happens to the
hyperactive when they drink tea!?!? THEY GET CCCAAAALLLLMMMM!!!! HOW DARE YOU TRY TO
MAKE DUO CALM!!!
(Quatre gives Keiko some tea.)
Quatre: Drink this.
Keiko: Why thank you.
(Keiko suddenly turns calm and drinks her tea while contemplating the meaning of life.
Keiko starts mumbling about thy kindred spirits.)
Vlad-chan: Cool! It works! (To Quatre ): ^–~ That's it! Goodbye! Sianara! Hasta la Vista! Ciao!
Adios! Au revoir and Arigatou! (Sound of Duo layin' the wrath of Shinigami on Wufei.)