Ok, we are back! We're going to pick up the story right where we left off.
:)
Meanwhile, back over to our main story. Ash looks at Misty, "This story is confusing... Remember when life was simple, and you got a sticker for going to the bathroom... ahh... those were the days..."
Tracey sighs in agreement, "Yeah... but now all ya get are those balloons they sell in the bathroom... odd thing is the ones that are suppose to tickle you never do... I blow them up and rub them on me..."
Misty interupts, "Ok ok... we got the joke, lets move on."
"Ok... but where were we?"
Everyone stands around and tries to remember where the story was before all the madness started. Team Rocket gets impatient...
Jessie: "If you REMEMBER, you were in some serious trouble!"
James: "And now that we had to REMIND you we're making it double!"
Ash makes a face... "Meh... that wasnt your strongest opening..." Pikachu holds up a sign that says 7.6
"Hmmph... everyone's a critic," Jessie complains, "Hang on a second", and she confers with her partner"
After a minute...
Jessie: "You boo'ed us once now your in trouble!"
James: "This time you'd better score us at least double!"
They stop and wait expectantly. Ash and co. hold a mini conference. After a moment, Ash speaks up, "A little better," Pikachu holds up a 8.2
"Ok... hang on" Jessie says holding up a finger, and goes back to her partner and they work out a new one.
Brock leans over and whispers into Ash's ear, "So how long you think we can keep them stalled like this?"
Ash grins, but before he can respond...
Jessie: "Ok ok, we got a good one now...
Jessie is now dressed as a alien.
Alien Jessie: "We dont come in peace we come in trouble!"
Alien James: "I like all my anal probes to be double!"
Everyone looks at James. He shrugs, "What?" Pikachu holds up a 6.8 "Judging a little harsh, arent you?" Ash asked.
"Pika-pika-chu. Chu Pika chu." Pikachu explains. Ash nods understanding, "Oh... so the French pay you to keep the other scores down..."
Meowth: "come on, just get on with the motto, we'll be here all day!"
Jessie: "Ok Meowth, we'll scratch your itch..."
James: "Cause if we dont you'll whine like a bitch!"
Everyone claps, Pikachu holds up a 10 card. Meowth stares at them, but Team Rocket continues before the pokemon can say anything.
Jessie: "To protect the world from devastation!" (Professor Oak appears in the corner of the screen and starts to sign the motto, he pushes his arms out in a pushing motion)
James: "To unite all people in every nation" (Oak brings his arms to his chest in a gather motion)
Jessie: "To denounce the evils of truth and love..." (Oak doesnt sign but just stares at Jessie)
James: "To extend our reach to the stars above!" (Oak starts doing the 'jerk off' motion with his hand)
Jessie: "Jessie!" (Oak scratches his nose with his middle finger.)
James: "James!" (Oak sticks his finger up his ass)
Jessie: "Team Rocket blasts off with the speed of light!" (Oak sticks his finger down his throat...)
James: "Surrender now or prepare to fight!" (...and vomits)
Meowth: "MEOWTH THAT'S RIGHT"
Jessie yells passionately "NOW HAND OVER THAT PIKACHU!!!"...
...but no one is paying attention anymore. "Oh for the love of..." Jessie complains, "No other villian ever had to deal with this kind of lack of respect."
*SCENE CHANGE TO GOTHAM CITY
Batman and Robin are pushing the Riddler around. "Come on puss." Batman mocks, "Come on, Riddle me this... whats gay, green and is going to have a batarang shoved up his ass?"
"Come on... stop itttt.." Riddler whines.
Robin laughs and pushes the villian down, "Come on, throw some question marks at us..."
Batman puts his hands up, "Ok... thats enough... here..." And offers the villian a hand up. The Riddler takes it, but Batman lets him go halfway up, and the villian falls back down, this time into a dirty puddle.
Batman laughs, "God you suck... what kind of villian are you? You're in spandex... but i dont see any bulges... anywhere..." Batman and Robin points and laugh. "Looks like he doesnt have any question mark of his own, if know what i mean!" Robin laughs. Batman looks at him, "No... no, didnt quite get that one..."
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
James says, "A spandex costume... hmmm.... you know i tried Latex once..."
Jessie: " Really? Why dont you wear that anymore?"
James: "Well I found out they only protect you 98% of the time..."
A Rimshot is heard in the background, everyone looks to see where it came from and we see Ash sitting at a set of drums. Everyone looks at him quizzically. "Hey... i was bored, you two were just going on and on..."
Ash leaves the drums and joins his friends. Ash clenches his fist, "Alright, you want Pikachu?"
James rolls his eyes, "Ah duh..., we've only tried for it every single episode from day one! Some people just dont take a hint!"
*SCENE CHANGE TO SUPER MARIO's HOME
Mario walks into his bedroom, and yawns, and says to himself, "Oh, mama'mia, i cant-a believe that Tony Soprano wanted me to-a purposely let King Koopa get-a away-a! I wonder what-a he meant-a when he said i would be-a sorry?"
Mario pulls back the cover of his head and screams at what he sees, laying there on his pillow is the head of Yoshi! "Oh-a my god-a no!!! Damn-a youuuuuuu!!!"
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY*
Meowth looked at James. "I thought you said that if we were going to do a Nintendo joke, we'd do the one about Kirby being used as a luffa sponge?" James nods and opens his mouth to speak but...
Brock quickly puts his hands up, "No, No, thank you, thats ok... dont need to hear that..."
Jessie pulls out a pokeball, "Wobbuffet, go!!" And out comes a blue pokemon, it cries out, "Wobbuffet! definately, definately wobbuffet..." Jessie grins and says, "Come on, try and attack, thanks to Wobbuffet's counter attacks you have no chance of beating us!"
Ash looks at his friends, and just folds his arms and stands there. "Well... come on then..." Jessie orders, "Attack!"
Ash shakes his head no. "It occured to me last time we fought," Ash said, "That if I dont attack first, your crappy lil blue turd cant do a damn thing..."
Jessie scowled, "Grr... damnit, just attack!"
Ash: "No!"
Jessie sighs, "Come on! Do something!"
Brock, in a western drawl, "Looks like what we got here is a mexican standoff..." Tracey looks over at Misty, "You think there's going to be an ethnic slur coming up?" Misty sighed and says, "Probably..."
*SCENE CHANGE TO...*
Cheech and Chong standing face to face, each with a hand on a fully loaded bong, glaring at each other. Neither one budging.
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY*
Misty sighs, "Well, i suppose that was the best that we could have hoped for."
Tracey agrees, "Yeah, i thought it was going to be something about the way they smell"
Misty opens her mouth shocked, "Are you crazy??? Do you want us to be canceled or something like...
*The screen goes fuzzy...
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*SCENE CHANGE TO A MAN AT A DESK
"We sincerely apologize for anyone that was offended by this recent joke. We honestly didnt think there would be any pussy's out there that'd be so thin skinned that a small little joke would...
*Screen goes fuzzy again
*SCENE CHANGE TO ANOTHER MAN AT A DESK
"We sincerely apologize for that last apology. We here at the network assure you that the problem has been solved. However I think thats what we get for hiring someone that's Polish, cause we all know...
*Scene goes fuzzy once again
*SCENE CHANGE TO YET ANOTHER MAN AT A YET ANOTHER DESK
The man looks at the cameras, clears his throat, and shuffles the papers on his desk. He drinks a little water from his glass. Then looks at the camera again, grins and says, "Boobies."
*Screen quickly goes fuzzy again*
*SCENE CHANGE TO A MAN ON A DESK WITH A WOMAN ON TOP OF HIM
We hear moans and see alot of humping...
*Screen quickly goes fuzzy again*
*SCENE CHANGE TO A MAN NOT AT A DESK...
"Hi..." the man says, "I'm Jimmy Carter..."
*Screen quickly goes fuzzy again.
*SCENE CHANGE TO JOHN CLEESE SITTING AT A DESK
He looks at the camera and of course says, "And now... for something completely different!" And then gets crushed by a giant cartoon foot...
*SCENE CHANGES SO WE SEE THAT...
...the giant foot belongs to Ash Ketchum. "Ok... I think we're back..." Ash said, "Damn... that was like a bad acid trip!"
Misty made a low groaning noise, "This story sucks! The writer has no talent... I dont even think he's..."
Misty is interupted as white glop drops on her head. "OH MY GOD!!! WHITE OUT!!! I'M BEING WHITED OUT!!!" She cries, "I WAS ONLY JOKING!!! DONT ERASE ME!"
A voice calls down, "Hey miss, you ok??"
Misty looks up to see a painter on the ladder, the guys says, "I was working up here, but a Pidgey flew by and knocked a can of white paint over. You ok?"
The young girl face bright red with embaressment, "Yeah... I'm fine."
"Yeah," Brock laughed, "Its not like it'd be the first time Misty wound up with white sticky gloop on her face..." Misty then kicked Brock in the nuts. Tracey looks at his friend's sack lying on the ground. Brock glares at the young girl... "I was eating those peanuts... now i'll have to buy a new bag."
Misty: "Well it serves you right" And sticks her tounge out at him.
Meanwhile back to Ash and Jessie, who are still battling each other. Or not battling each other as the case may be.
Brock in a western drawl, "It looks like what we got here is a Mexican Standoff..."
"WE DID THAT ONE ALREADY!!!" Ash yelled at him, then he turned back to his battle, "Oh the hell with this, Pikachu, just use thunderbolt."
Pikachu leaps forward and send a thunderbolt right at the Wobbuffet, who counters it, and send the attack back at the yellow rat. Pikachu dodges it, and sends other one at the blue thing. Again, countered. This goes on a few more times. Pikachu stops attacking and looks at the Wobbuffet, and mutters a pokemon swear word. It walks off the screen.
Ash and Jessie look at the pokemon leave. "Pikachu?" Ash asks, "What you doing?"
Jessie cheers, "Woohoo! I won that round!!!"
Ash, muttering to himself, "Alright then, i choose Bayleaf..."
MIsty interupts him, "Hey Ash! Let me fight this round!"
"Alright, alright," Ash steps aside, "Go for it..."
Misty reaches into her bag and throws a pokeball, "Go Poliwhirl!" And out comes a blue pokemon, a Poliwhirl. "Poliwrath!" it calls out. Everyone looks suprised at it. The Poliwhirl says, "Poli, Poliwrath, wrath, poliwrath."
Ash looks at Misty, "Whats it doing?"
Misty shrugs, "Leave it alone, its having a identiy crisis."
"Ohhh" Ash said understanding, "My totodile had one of those too..."
*SCENE CHANGE TO ASH AT HOME
Ash walks into his bathroom to see his Totodile sitting on the kitchen sink looking into the mirror, makeup all over its face. Totodile surprised, turns and looks at its trainer. Apparently its in high heels as well. There's an akward pause...
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
"Alright then!" Misty yells out, "Poliwhirl! Use your watergun attack!"
Poliwhirl declares, "Poliwrath!" And fires a powerful stream of water. Just like the electric attacks, Wobbuffet counters this attack as well, the water slamming into Poliwhirl. Jessie laughs manically, "Alright! We're going to win!"
Suddenly Pikachu comes charging back and slams a steel chair into Wobbuffet's head. Pikachu rolls ontop of the blue pokemon. Ash drops to his knees, "And Pikachu makes the cover!! One, Two, THREE!!! It's OVER!!!"
Pikachu jumps up on his trainers shoulder and raises his eyebrow. "Alright then, now that you took care of Wobbuffet... Pikachu..."
Misty: "Poliwhirl..."
Ash: "THUNDER ATTACK!!!" Misty: "WATER GUN ATTACK!!!"
Tracey yells out, "Venonat! HYPER BEAM!!!"
Brock laughs, "Get the hell out of here Tracey, your pokemon barely know tackle."
"Grrrr..." Tracy growls, "I'll show you!!! Venonat give them your hyper beam!!!"
Venonat looks at Tracy. Then drops over to its side; dead. "SHIT!" Tracey screams, and Brock falls over laughing, "Oh i gotta sketch that!"
Meanwhile, both attacks slam into Team Rocket, who for some reason, explode and fly off, "Team Rockets blasting off againnnnnnnnnn..."
Ash and Misty looked shock, "What the hell? Why'd they blow up???"
Flying away... James moans, "I knew i shouldnt have stuck that stick of dynamite up my ass!!!"
Jessie glares at him and asks, "You never explained WHY you stuck dynamite up your rear!"
James: "Well, we had to hide it, and its just a hobby of me..."
Ash and Misty dance together, "Hurrah! We won!!!" Then the two realize they;re hugging each other, quickly let go and blush.
Brock muses, "They really do like each other dont they?"
Tracey agrees, "But they fight it so..."
Brock shrugs, "Well, they arent the first couple to try and hide their emotions for each other..."
*SCENE CHANGE TO...
Fred Flinstone sits in his hammock, and looks over at Barney bending over, picking weeds out of his lawn... "Mmm... I've got to get me some of that..." Fred says softly to himself.
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
Tracey makes a face... "Meh... thats was only so so... let me have a crack at that... they arent the first couple to try and hide their emotions for one another...
*SCENE CHANGE TO...
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...
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
"Alright, fine, nevermind, I got nothing" Tracey admits.
Brock laughs, "Yeah, good job there Sir chokes-alot"
Ash and Misty look at Brock and Tracey. Misty leans over and whispers in Ash's ear, "They really do love each other alot,"
Ash nods, "But they hide is so..."
Brock makes an angry face, "DON'T go there!"
Horatio taps his foot. "Can we finish this match? I'd like to win now."
Tracey walks over, "Alright lets finish this, I believe its my Marril versus your... Magikarp?"
Horatio shook his head, "No."
"Please?" Tracey pleaed.
"No... I'm going to give you all a thrill," Horatio said to the crowd.
"Ooh!" Tracey squealed excitedly.
Horatio stared at his opponent for a second, then shook it off. He holds up a pokeball, "I present to you... Articuno!"
Everyone gasps. "The Funnel Cake stand is open!" Someone yelled, and everyone watching the match ran off. Horatio groaned.
"HEY!" Tracey yelled as he saw Ash starting to head over to the stand, "Where do you think your going?"
Ash shrugs, and said sadly, "I wanted funnel cake..."
Misty taps her foot, "Ashhhhh..." She said sternly.
Ash sighs, "Fine fine... I'll stay... stupid pokemon battle, its so hard to find funnel cake, but no, i gotta stick around and watch some stupid pokemon battle between two losers and thier crappy pokemon."
"Hey..." Tracey said hurt, "I'm standing RIGHT here... I heard you..."
Ash looked surprised, "You did?" Then he shrugged, "Oh well, I stand by what I said."
Misty yelled to Horatio, "Would you please just bring out your Articuno so you can beat Tracey."
"How do you know im going to lose?" Tracey whined.
Misty sighed, and explained, "Because you suck Tracey..."
Tracey pouts.
Misty sympathazies, "I'm sorry... but its true..."
Tracey sighs and says, "I know i know, but still..." He pouts.
Horatio sighs and says, "Ok then, stand back... here comes..." He pauses, and pauses... and waits...
Ash leans over to Brock and whispers, "Why doesnt he just throw out the damn pokeball already?"
Brock whispers back, "He's building up drama... standard Anime ploy."
"Get out of here!" Ash says.
Brock nods, "Dragonball does it all the time..."
SCENE CHANGE TO DRAGONBALL Z....
Announcer: "When we last left Dragonball Z, Goku was fighting the funny pink thing. He declared the battle over, preparing to finish off the match with one shot.
Goku gathers up his energy, he yells to his opponent, "Here comes my Kamehameha!" And Goku charges the move. And the enemy stands there.
"Grrr..... oooOOOOOO" Goku gathers more energy.
Close up of the enemy anticipating the attack.
Close up of Goku, still building up the attack.
Zoom in on the squishy pink enemy face, tense.
Zoom in on Goku face determined as he pulls in even more energy.
*Cut to commerical*
*And we're back*
Goku builds more energy drawing in power from all around.
The enemy stands there.
"Kaaaaaaaaaaaa...." Goku yells out, his whole body glowing.
The enemy looks at its watch.
"aaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."
Enemy starts to get bored.
"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...."
"HEY!" the pink monster yells, otherwise known as Kirby, "You wanna get on with this?"
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."
Announcer: Will Goku's move be strong enough to defeat Kirby? Tune in next time for DRAGONBALL!"
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY...
Horatio finally throws his pokeball, "Go! Articuno!" And out comes a giant blue bird. Tracey mutters, "Wow... its beautiful"
Ash agrees, "I never get tired of seeing Articuno, so majestic."
Horatio beams, "Its my pride and joy."
"Its a CHICKEN" Misty declared agreeing with Brock, "Its a GIANT CHICKEN!"
Standing there ready for battle is INDEED a giant chicken painted blue. Horatio looks horrified, "How... how DARE you! What an INSULT!"
"YEAH!" Tracey agrees, "Are you crazy Misty? Dont be so rude"
Misty grits her teeth, "Im NOT being rude... its a giant... freaking... chicken..."
Brock shakes his head, "Misty... chickens arent blue..."
Misty growls.
"Alright then," Brock says, "Time to start the match, GO!"
"Alright, use your tackle attack!" Horatio yells. The "articuno" just waddles around and pecks at the ground.
"Ingenious!" Tracey says, "What a way to do a tackle attack! But we'll fight back, Marril, use your tackle attack!"
The Marril rushes at "articuno" but just as it leaps into a tackle, "articuno" sees a worm and goes chasing after it. Marril misses by a mile and slams into the ground and knocks itself out cold.
Tracey groans. Brock declares Horatio the winner. Tracey shrugs, "Well i lost to a better man... good match!" And he shakes Horatio's hand, "Your Articuno is unbeatable!"
"Oh for the love of..." Misty says, "Staryu, WATERGUN that thing!"
Staryu comes out and blasts the "articuno" with a water gun attack.
"MISTY!" Brock yells, "What are you doing?"
"I'm... I'm just trying to prove its a fake!" Misty tries to explain.
"Well, you've have some problems with that before, havent you?" Ash repremands.
*SCENE CHANGE TO...
Ash, Misty, and Brock walk down just another road, and out comes 2 adults and a meowth. "Hi, can you help us?" The male said, "We're lost, and we dont know our way.."
Misty groans, "Oh for the love of, damnit Team Rocket, can we go ONE day without you trying to attack us?"
The 2 adults look shocked, "Whatever do you mean?"
Misty tackled the 2 and with the help of her pokemon continue to beat down the group. "Misty.." Ash said.
"Yeah Ash?" Misty asked breathlessly, still kicking the male.
"Thats not Team Rocket," Ash explained.
"What do you mean?" Misty asked stopping her assault, "A male, a female, and a meowth, its so obvious."
"Except for one thing?" Ash says.
"...and that is?" Misty asks.
"Well.. I'm pretty sure Team Rocket aren't black..." Ash said sardonically.
Misty glances down at her victims and sure enough, the two adults were much darker skinned then the usual Tam Rocket.
"Oops..."
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
"Well... THAT should get us letters" Brock says.
"But that time I was wrong, this time I'm right!" Misty declares, "LOOK!"
Sure enough, the watergun washed off the bird's paint, and sure enough, it WAS a giant chicken. Everyone gasps again. "Oh my god!" Tracey yelled, "It IS a chicken, a GIANT CHICKEN!"
"I can't believe it!" Horatio says, "I trusted you! I've taken care of you! I've even milked you!"
Misty raises an eye, "Milked... but its a male chicken... does that mean he..."
Misty shudders, "STOP... dont finish that..."
Horatio continues outraged, "Thats it! Get out of here!" And with that he kicks the giant chicken clean over the horizon, disappearing as a star in the distance.
Team Rocket laments their loss. "We never win..." James complains.
Jessie sighs, "I know I know... we need to get Don King as our manager or something."
"Yeah... even a fixed win would be nice once in a while" Meowth moans.
"Well... at least we're done for the day..." James says.
Suddenly the giant chicken comes crashing down in front of them. The chicken gets up in front of them, dusts itself off and heads off into the sunset. Oddly enough, music seems to play out of thin air...
You wear a disguise to look like human guys,
But your not a man... your a chicken boo...
The trio of villians watch it walk off and stare at each other. James raises an eyebrow and asks, "Anyone else in the mood for some fried chicken?"
Meowth holds up a butchers knife, "You dont have to ask me twice!"
Back to our heroes. "Hey," Tracey says, "Have you seen Horatio? I wanted to say goodbye but he seems to have disappeared."
"Sorry," Ash says, "Havent seen him..."
Off in a shadowy area of the festival we see Horatio walk over and stop. Then he hunches over. And his head opens, and out comes two mice. "Its a shame that your Articuno turned out to be fake." The lankier mouse said.
"Yes Pinky," The shorter bigger headed mouse says, "If only it was real, we could have frozen the towns water supply and we would have ruled the world! Well come on then... we best prepare for tomorrow night."
"Why Brain? What we gonna do tomorrow night?" Pinky asks.
"Why, the same thing we do every night Pinky. TRY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"
As they walk away we hear, "They're dinky... they're pinky and the brain brain brain brain... *CRUNCH* *SQUISH*
Ash steps on them while walking by. "Did you hear something?" he asks Misty.
Misty shrugs, "Other then the two Animaniac jokes in a row... nope."
"Yeah really, whats up with that?" Ash says, "Was there a two for one sale at the extinct cartoon department?"
Ash looks over at the kids from Card Captors. The young girl from it yells over, "HEY, we're not extinct yet!"
"Yet..." Ash says with an evil chuckle, and the pokemon kids walk away.
Ash and Misty join Tracey and Brock. They stand there. And stand there... and stand there. Ash looks at his watch. "Shouldn't this be over with by now?" Ash asked.
Brock shrugs.
Ash goes on, "Havent we done everything we're suppose to?"
Tracey pulls out a checklist... "Let's see... Pokemon battle?"
Ash: "Check"
Tracey: "Defeating Team Rocket"
Ash: "Check"
Tracey: "Random offensive jokes?"
Ash: "Umm... yeah... we had that mexican crack before, and the whole thing on protesters. So, Check."
Tracey: "Obligitory Disney ripping?"
Ash: "Haha, oh yeah, check, though I wouldnt mind sneaking a few more in..."
Tracey: "Obligitory WWE rip?"
Ash: "Hmmm... I think we missed that one!"
SCENE CHANGE TO A WWE RING
(this one is for all the WWE Fans out there) HHH stands in the middle of the ring, although he looks much more scrawnier then we're used to seeing him. He addresses the camera, along with his girlfriend, Stephanine McMahon, who is looking rather flat chested. HHH takes the microphone. "Greetings, my name is HHH, prince of the WWE. This is my fearless friend, Stephanine. Fabulous..."
HHH is interupted by Big Show's music hitting and the giant appears at the entrance way. HHH doesnt panic, he knows exactly what to do. He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a syringe. He holds it up in the air and yells, "BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL" and quickly injects himself in the arm. The old He-Man theme plays as HHH doubles in muscle mass.
"I... HAVE THE POWER!!!!" He spins and points the syringe at Stephanie and sprays her with the remaining liquid . Miraculously a bright light envelopes her and her breasts triple in size...
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
Brock, *evil chuckle*, "Yeah... thats the good stuff..."
"So..." Ash asks, "How do we finish this?"
Misty shrugs, "We DO seem to have that problem, dont we?"
Brock, "Well, I know of another person that has an even worse finishing problem..."
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO CLARK KENTS BEDROOM
Superman is looking embaressed in bed with Lois Lane, who looks even more unsatified then before. "Are you sure your name is Superman, and not the Flash, fastest man alive?"
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
Misty shakes her head, "Its good that you got that last pot shot in... but we still need an ending."
"Hey, speaking of Pot Shots..." Ash says.
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO...
Cheech and Chong still fighting over the fully loaded bong. Cheech pulls out a gun and shoots Chong and takes a long hit of his prize.
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
Everyone stares at Ash. "You see..." He explains, "Reefer... shooting... pot... shot... pot shot. Get it?"
Misty shakes her head again, "Can we please end the pain?"
Tracey grins, "Speaking of ending the pain..."
*SCENE CHANGE TO...
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...
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
"Choked again?" Brock asked, "Damn, you suck at this"
Thats the last straw. Tracey reaches into his pocket, "That DOES IT!" Tracey yells furious, "I'm going to get all of you! MARILL, come out and kill them all!"
Marill comes out of its pokeball, looks at Tracey, and falls over dead. "DAMNIT!!!" Tracey yells, everyone else falls over laughing, Tracy fumes, "Can we just end this damn thing?"
Ash snaps his fingers, "What about the Gargoyles ending?"
*SCENE CHANGE TO ENDING #1
Ash, Misty, Tracey and Brock stand looking over the edge of a building just before the sunrises. "We must protect this land... this... Kanto League, from those that would cause us harm." Ash says in an unnaturally deep voice. All four of them growl and turn to stone as the sun rise. Pikahchu leaps on its owners shoulders and turn to stone also. Psyduck tries to do the same to Misty, but turns to stone and falls off the building.
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
Brock shakes his head, "Ok Ash... that just didnt make any sense."
"Oh yeah," Ash says sarcastically, "Cause this whole freaking story has made TONS of sense. I mean LOOK at that guy over there!!!"
Over to the side and Alfred E. Neuman stands there and says, "What? Me worry?"
All four shake thier heads in confusion. "I dont think anyone but the writer will get that joke..." Misty says, "And I really dont feel like explaining it."
Tracey says, "You know, we can always settle for the Hamtaro ending..."
*SCENE CHANGE TO ENDING #2
...sitting at a desk. Ash is writing in his journal. "Today we went to a pokemon festival. It was fun and I saw all types of pokemon. Misty wasnt wearing a bra today. I like that. Team Rocket attacked us. James WAS wearing a bra. I dont like that... that kind of disturbs me."
Ash picks up Pikachu and says, "Today was a good day wasnt it! And I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be even better!"
Pikachu tilts its head and goes, "Hickhick?... OOPS... I mean... 'Pika?"
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
Before anyone can say anything, Tracey shakes his head, "Nah... that sucks."
Suddenly, Jessie, James, and Meowth come walking into the scene. "Hey, we cant leave until you guys wrap this up." Jessie complains.
"I know, I know," Ash says, "We're having some problems coming up with an ending..."
James says, "Why dont you just do this..."
*SCENE CHANGE TO ENDING #3
Jessie sits back in the chair and brags to Meowth, "Ahhh... sweet victory at last... we finally have captured Pikachu!"
Meowth laughs, "Yeah, it may have taken years, but wait til the boss sees it, he'll promote us."
Jessie looks around, "Hey, where's James?"
Meowth shrugs, "I saw Jimmy go into the bedroom with Pikachu, but that was like an hour ago... oh NO!... He wouldnt have!!"
Jessie looks worried and runs into the bedroom where we see...
...James lying on the bed, squirming and moaning in pleasure. Next to the bed is Pikachu, attached to its cheeks are wires, letting Pikachu pump electricity through them. The wires run to two clips snapped on Jame's nipples. "Ohhhh it was soooo worth the wait!" he shrieks.
*SCENE CHANGE VERY VERY QUICKLY BACK TO MAIN STORY
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU????" Everyone in the scene screams at James.
Jame shrugs, "It was just a suggestion."
"Jesus H. Tap-Dancing Christ!" Ash says exasperatedly.
Brock pulls out a bar of soap and smears it into his eyes, "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!! I CAN STILL SEE IT EVEN WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES.!!!"
Misty shudders, "Ok... we have to end this... NOW!"
***ANNOUNCER: "So once again, the day is saved by... the powerful girls!!!"
Misty shakes her head, "Wrong show..."
***ANNOUNCER: "I know, but I havent said anything since the beginning of the show!"
Misty sighs, "I wonder if I could change shows and become an actress on Yu- Gi-Oh"
*SCENE CHANGE TO YU-GI-OH
Yu-gi-oh declares, "Oh no, my dark wizard is only at steel power plus 1. But if i play the card of dark sorrows face down I can take another turn and be able to use the Griffin of Dumbldore which can cast bonestorm to lower my opponents fire taking ability. But thats only if he doesnt have a Dark Mage card that can cast demon's light oh all cards played sideways."
Misty stares at him, and after a moment says, "What the fuck are you talking about?"
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
Everyone stands around trying to think of a good closing.
Meowth sighs, "I cant think of an ending for this story..."
Ash, a la' Grouch Marx, "Really? I cant think of anything else!"
*Rim shot*
Everyone looks up, to see Pikachu at the drumset now. Everyone stares. "Pikachu, get away from those..." Ash says
"Pikal chui chuc pikachuk pikapim pikae..." It says. (But YOU got to play earlier!)
Brock snaps his fingers, "Hey, we always have the Stephen Speilberg ending!"
"Hmm...." Misty says, "Works for me"
"Lets do it!" Tracey says.
"Hey..." Ash says, "Sounds good to me, but before we go, can we get one more Disney bashing joke in?"
"SURE!" Brock says, "Why not?"
*SCENE CHANGE TO A MOVIE TRAILER
On the screen we see that this trailer is appropriate for all ages. An voice on the screen says, "For years Disney has been taking adult books and making them into water down kiddy musicals. First, we took you to the streets of London in "The Great Mouse Detectives". Next we took you to the French Revolution in "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" And now, Disney takes you to a place, that we all will visit some day...
..
...HELL!!!" The sceen bursts into flames and horrible demons fill the screen. We hear people wailing in the background suffering. Suddenly the wails go soprano and into an opening of song. The demons go into chorus, "Welcome to Hell, you wont like your stay, you were mean in your life, now your going toooo payyyyyyy"
Announcer: "This Summer, Disney brings you "Dante's Inferno! Follow Dante, along with his wacky spirit hampster guide, Virgil, through the 9 circles of hell!"
Dante (voice supplied by Jerry Seinfeld): "Whats the deal with Hell? Is it hot enough here? I dont know! Maybe Satan, is trying to get a tan. Maybe THAT'S why he's so grouchy!"
Hampster Virgil: (As voiced by Richard Simmons) Come on Come on Dante! This heat is great to shake the fat out of those christmas hams! We still have 6 more circles to get through, lets feel the burn!"
We see a few cut scenes, first of Dante, trying to cross the giant river of shit, without getting any on his shoes. Then we see Dante helping push a giant boulder up a giant hill. We see Virgil pull out a snowball and it quickly melts, "Hey, i guess that old saying IS correct!"
Coming to all theaters Summer 2004
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
Ash sighs, "Ohhh thats was a good one! Alright, story's over, who's up for some drinking? I'm buying"
Everyone goes, "Hurray!" And walks off, leaving us to go to the final ending.
*SCENE CHANGE TO ENDING #4
We cut to a ocean, and a quickly sinking ship. Ash, the only one left, is clinging onto the mast of the sinking ship for all he's worth, in his hands he holds a rifle.
The giant pikachu circles around, moving in for the final kill. Ash aims his rifle... "Come on..."
The giant pikachu moves in closer, "Smile, you son of a bitch!" Ash yells. In a deep roar, Pikachu yells, "Piiiikaaaaaaa" opening its mouth slightly.
Ash pulls the trigger, and the giant Pikachu is blown into a million pieces. "AH HAAAA!" Ash cheers as his foe sinks to the bottom of the sea, a bloody mess. Ash cheers, "Its OVER!!!" Suddenly Ariel, the little mermaid, leaps out of the water, sinks her teeth into Ash's throat, and pulls him down under, getting revenge for all the Disney jokes.
A message comes up that says...
THE END
Pikachu walks onto the screen with a pencil and writes...
THE END... or is it?
Ash walks onto the screen and adds...
THE END... or is it? Yes, it most certainly is!
Pikachu adds...
THE END... or is it? Yes, it most certainly is! Are you sure?
Ash adds...
THE END... or is it? Yes, it most certainly is! Are you sure? Yep, trust me, lets go get something eat.
Pikachu adds...
THE END... or is it? Yes, it most certainly is! Are you sure? Yep, trust me, lets go get something eat. Hot damn, lets go!
The two leave the scene. Brock walks into the scene and adds...
THE END... or is it? Yes, it most certainly is! Are you sure? Yep, trust me, lets go get something eat. Hot damn, lets go! For all the ladies, Brock's number: 555-hot meat
Brock leaves the scene. We fade to black...
Disclaimer: Most of the things made fun of in this story were copywrited material. Of course by you reading this your just as guilty of the crime then I am... and if i go down, YOU go down. This story is an orginal work except for the things that were stolen. This story should not have been read by people who are pregnant. This story is NOT a significant source of vitamins A, B12 or E. This story is void in South Carolina. 4 out of 5 dentists agree that this story, along with regular brushing and flossing will significantly reduce your chance of getting the gum desiese that causes gingervities. This story IS the freshsaver. Do not open until X- Mas, but use by 1-17-03 for best freshness. This story is NOT the real slim shady.
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed, pleaseeeeeee take a moment and give me a review. By the way... there is a spider on your shoulder... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... made you look.
Meanwhile, back over to our main story. Ash looks at Misty, "This story is confusing... Remember when life was simple, and you got a sticker for going to the bathroom... ahh... those were the days..."
Tracey sighs in agreement, "Yeah... but now all ya get are those balloons they sell in the bathroom... odd thing is the ones that are suppose to tickle you never do... I blow them up and rub them on me..."
Misty interupts, "Ok ok... we got the joke, lets move on."
"Ok... but where were we?"
Everyone stands around and tries to remember where the story was before all the madness started. Team Rocket gets impatient...
Jessie: "If you REMEMBER, you were in some serious trouble!"
James: "And now that we had to REMIND you we're making it double!"
Ash makes a face... "Meh... that wasnt your strongest opening..." Pikachu holds up a sign that says 7.6
"Hmmph... everyone's a critic," Jessie complains, "Hang on a second", and she confers with her partner"
After a minute...
Jessie: "You boo'ed us once now your in trouble!"
James: "This time you'd better score us at least double!"
They stop and wait expectantly. Ash and co. hold a mini conference. After a moment, Ash speaks up, "A little better," Pikachu holds up a 8.2
"Ok... hang on" Jessie says holding up a finger, and goes back to her partner and they work out a new one.
Brock leans over and whispers into Ash's ear, "So how long you think we can keep them stalled like this?"
Ash grins, but before he can respond...
Jessie: "Ok ok, we got a good one now...
Jessie is now dressed as a alien.
Alien Jessie: "We dont come in peace we come in trouble!"
Alien James: "I like all my anal probes to be double!"
Everyone looks at James. He shrugs, "What?" Pikachu holds up a 6.8 "Judging a little harsh, arent you?" Ash asked.
"Pika-pika-chu. Chu Pika chu." Pikachu explains. Ash nods understanding, "Oh... so the French pay you to keep the other scores down..."
Meowth: "come on, just get on with the motto, we'll be here all day!"
Jessie: "Ok Meowth, we'll scratch your itch..."
James: "Cause if we dont you'll whine like a bitch!"
Everyone claps, Pikachu holds up a 10 card. Meowth stares at them, but Team Rocket continues before the pokemon can say anything.
Jessie: "To protect the world from devastation!" (Professor Oak appears in the corner of the screen and starts to sign the motto, he pushes his arms out in a pushing motion)
James: "To unite all people in every nation" (Oak brings his arms to his chest in a gather motion)
Jessie: "To denounce the evils of truth and love..." (Oak doesnt sign but just stares at Jessie)
James: "To extend our reach to the stars above!" (Oak starts doing the 'jerk off' motion with his hand)
Jessie: "Jessie!" (Oak scratches his nose with his middle finger.)
James: "James!" (Oak sticks his finger up his ass)
Jessie: "Team Rocket blasts off with the speed of light!" (Oak sticks his finger down his throat...)
James: "Surrender now or prepare to fight!" (...and vomits)
Meowth: "MEOWTH THAT'S RIGHT"
Jessie yells passionately "NOW HAND OVER THAT PIKACHU!!!"...
...but no one is paying attention anymore. "Oh for the love of..." Jessie complains, "No other villian ever had to deal with this kind of lack of respect."
*SCENE CHANGE TO GOTHAM CITY
Batman and Robin are pushing the Riddler around. "Come on puss." Batman mocks, "Come on, Riddle me this... whats gay, green and is going to have a batarang shoved up his ass?"
"Come on... stop itttt.." Riddler whines.
Robin laughs and pushes the villian down, "Come on, throw some question marks at us..."
Batman puts his hands up, "Ok... thats enough... here..." And offers the villian a hand up. The Riddler takes it, but Batman lets him go halfway up, and the villian falls back down, this time into a dirty puddle.
Batman laughs, "God you suck... what kind of villian are you? You're in spandex... but i dont see any bulges... anywhere..." Batman and Robin points and laugh. "Looks like he doesnt have any question mark of his own, if know what i mean!" Robin laughs. Batman looks at him, "No... no, didnt quite get that one..."
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
James says, "A spandex costume... hmmm.... you know i tried Latex once..."
Jessie: " Really? Why dont you wear that anymore?"
James: "Well I found out they only protect you 98% of the time..."
A Rimshot is heard in the background, everyone looks to see where it came from and we see Ash sitting at a set of drums. Everyone looks at him quizzically. "Hey... i was bored, you two were just going on and on..."
Ash leaves the drums and joins his friends. Ash clenches his fist, "Alright, you want Pikachu?"
James rolls his eyes, "Ah duh..., we've only tried for it every single episode from day one! Some people just dont take a hint!"
*SCENE CHANGE TO SUPER MARIO's HOME
Mario walks into his bedroom, and yawns, and says to himself, "Oh, mama'mia, i cant-a believe that Tony Soprano wanted me to-a purposely let King Koopa get-a away-a! I wonder what-a he meant-a when he said i would be-a sorry?"
Mario pulls back the cover of his head and screams at what he sees, laying there on his pillow is the head of Yoshi! "Oh-a my god-a no!!! Damn-a youuuuuuu!!!"
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY*
Meowth looked at James. "I thought you said that if we were going to do a Nintendo joke, we'd do the one about Kirby being used as a luffa sponge?" James nods and opens his mouth to speak but...
Brock quickly puts his hands up, "No, No, thank you, thats ok... dont need to hear that..."
Jessie pulls out a pokeball, "Wobbuffet, go!!" And out comes a blue pokemon, it cries out, "Wobbuffet! definately, definately wobbuffet..." Jessie grins and says, "Come on, try and attack, thanks to Wobbuffet's counter attacks you have no chance of beating us!"
Ash looks at his friends, and just folds his arms and stands there. "Well... come on then..." Jessie orders, "Attack!"
Ash shakes his head no. "It occured to me last time we fought," Ash said, "That if I dont attack first, your crappy lil blue turd cant do a damn thing..."
Jessie scowled, "Grr... damnit, just attack!"
Ash: "No!"
Jessie sighs, "Come on! Do something!"
Brock, in a western drawl, "Looks like what we got here is a mexican standoff..." Tracey looks over at Misty, "You think there's going to be an ethnic slur coming up?" Misty sighed and says, "Probably..."
*SCENE CHANGE TO...*
Cheech and Chong standing face to face, each with a hand on a fully loaded bong, glaring at each other. Neither one budging.
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY*
Misty sighs, "Well, i suppose that was the best that we could have hoped for."
Tracey agrees, "Yeah, i thought it was going to be something about the way they smell"
Misty opens her mouth shocked, "Are you crazy??? Do you want us to be canceled or something like...
*The screen goes fuzzy...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
*SCENE CHANGE TO A MAN AT A DESK
"We sincerely apologize for anyone that was offended by this recent joke. We honestly didnt think there would be any pussy's out there that'd be so thin skinned that a small little joke would...
*Screen goes fuzzy again
*SCENE CHANGE TO ANOTHER MAN AT A DESK
"We sincerely apologize for that last apology. We here at the network assure you that the problem has been solved. However I think thats what we get for hiring someone that's Polish, cause we all know...
*Scene goes fuzzy once again
*SCENE CHANGE TO YET ANOTHER MAN AT A YET ANOTHER DESK
The man looks at the cameras, clears his throat, and shuffles the papers on his desk. He drinks a little water from his glass. Then looks at the camera again, grins and says, "Boobies."
*Screen quickly goes fuzzy again*
*SCENE CHANGE TO A MAN ON A DESK WITH A WOMAN ON TOP OF HIM
We hear moans and see alot of humping...
*Screen quickly goes fuzzy again*
*SCENE CHANGE TO A MAN NOT AT A DESK...
"Hi..." the man says, "I'm Jimmy Carter..."
*Screen quickly goes fuzzy again.
*SCENE CHANGE TO JOHN CLEESE SITTING AT A DESK
He looks at the camera and of course says, "And now... for something completely different!" And then gets crushed by a giant cartoon foot...
*SCENE CHANGES SO WE SEE THAT...
...the giant foot belongs to Ash Ketchum. "Ok... I think we're back..." Ash said, "Damn... that was like a bad acid trip!"
Misty made a low groaning noise, "This story sucks! The writer has no talent... I dont even think he's..."
Misty is interupted as white glop drops on her head. "OH MY GOD!!! WHITE OUT!!! I'M BEING WHITED OUT!!!" She cries, "I WAS ONLY JOKING!!! DONT ERASE ME!"
A voice calls down, "Hey miss, you ok??"
Misty looks up to see a painter on the ladder, the guys says, "I was working up here, but a Pidgey flew by and knocked a can of white paint over. You ok?"
The young girl face bright red with embaressment, "Yeah... I'm fine."
"Yeah," Brock laughed, "Its not like it'd be the first time Misty wound up with white sticky gloop on her face..." Misty then kicked Brock in the nuts. Tracey looks at his friend's sack lying on the ground. Brock glares at the young girl... "I was eating those peanuts... now i'll have to buy a new bag."
Misty: "Well it serves you right" And sticks her tounge out at him.
Meanwhile back to Ash and Jessie, who are still battling each other. Or not battling each other as the case may be.
Brock in a western drawl, "It looks like what we got here is a Mexican Standoff..."
"WE DID THAT ONE ALREADY!!!" Ash yelled at him, then he turned back to his battle, "Oh the hell with this, Pikachu, just use thunderbolt."
Pikachu leaps forward and send a thunderbolt right at the Wobbuffet, who counters it, and send the attack back at the yellow rat. Pikachu dodges it, and sends other one at the blue thing. Again, countered. This goes on a few more times. Pikachu stops attacking and looks at the Wobbuffet, and mutters a pokemon swear word. It walks off the screen.
Ash and Jessie look at the pokemon leave. "Pikachu?" Ash asks, "What you doing?"
Jessie cheers, "Woohoo! I won that round!!!"
Ash, muttering to himself, "Alright then, i choose Bayleaf..."
MIsty interupts him, "Hey Ash! Let me fight this round!"
"Alright, alright," Ash steps aside, "Go for it..."
Misty reaches into her bag and throws a pokeball, "Go Poliwhirl!" And out comes a blue pokemon, a Poliwhirl. "Poliwrath!" it calls out. Everyone looks suprised at it. The Poliwhirl says, "Poli, Poliwrath, wrath, poliwrath."
Ash looks at Misty, "Whats it doing?"
Misty shrugs, "Leave it alone, its having a identiy crisis."
"Ohhh" Ash said understanding, "My totodile had one of those too..."
*SCENE CHANGE TO ASH AT HOME
Ash walks into his bathroom to see his Totodile sitting on the kitchen sink looking into the mirror, makeup all over its face. Totodile surprised, turns and looks at its trainer. Apparently its in high heels as well. There's an akward pause...
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
"Alright then!" Misty yells out, "Poliwhirl! Use your watergun attack!"
Poliwhirl declares, "Poliwrath!" And fires a powerful stream of water. Just like the electric attacks, Wobbuffet counters this attack as well, the water slamming into Poliwhirl. Jessie laughs manically, "Alright! We're going to win!"
Suddenly Pikachu comes charging back and slams a steel chair into Wobbuffet's head. Pikachu rolls ontop of the blue pokemon. Ash drops to his knees, "And Pikachu makes the cover!! One, Two, THREE!!! It's OVER!!!"
Pikachu jumps up on his trainers shoulder and raises his eyebrow. "Alright then, now that you took care of Wobbuffet... Pikachu..."
Misty: "Poliwhirl..."
Ash: "THUNDER ATTACK!!!" Misty: "WATER GUN ATTACK!!!"
Tracey yells out, "Venonat! HYPER BEAM!!!"
Brock laughs, "Get the hell out of here Tracey, your pokemon barely know tackle."
"Grrrr..." Tracy growls, "I'll show you!!! Venonat give them your hyper beam!!!"
Venonat looks at Tracy. Then drops over to its side; dead. "SHIT!" Tracey screams, and Brock falls over laughing, "Oh i gotta sketch that!"
Meanwhile, both attacks slam into Team Rocket, who for some reason, explode and fly off, "Team Rockets blasting off againnnnnnnnnn..."
Ash and Misty looked shock, "What the hell? Why'd they blow up???"
Flying away... James moans, "I knew i shouldnt have stuck that stick of dynamite up my ass!!!"
Jessie glares at him and asks, "You never explained WHY you stuck dynamite up your rear!"
James: "Well, we had to hide it, and its just a hobby of me..."
Ash and Misty dance together, "Hurrah! We won!!!" Then the two realize they;re hugging each other, quickly let go and blush.
Brock muses, "They really do like each other dont they?"
Tracey agrees, "But they fight it so..."
Brock shrugs, "Well, they arent the first couple to try and hide their emotions for each other..."
*SCENE CHANGE TO...
Fred Flinstone sits in his hammock, and looks over at Barney bending over, picking weeds out of his lawn... "Mmm... I've got to get me some of that..." Fred says softly to himself.
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
Tracey makes a face... "Meh... thats was only so so... let me have a crack at that... they arent the first couple to try and hide their emotions for one another...
*SCENE CHANGE TO...
...
...
...
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
"Alright, fine, nevermind, I got nothing" Tracey admits.
Brock laughs, "Yeah, good job there Sir chokes-alot"
Ash and Misty look at Brock and Tracey. Misty leans over and whispers in Ash's ear, "They really do love each other alot,"
Ash nods, "But they hide is so..."
Brock makes an angry face, "DON'T go there!"
Horatio taps his foot. "Can we finish this match? I'd like to win now."
Tracey walks over, "Alright lets finish this, I believe its my Marril versus your... Magikarp?"
Horatio shook his head, "No."
"Please?" Tracey pleaed.
"No... I'm going to give you all a thrill," Horatio said to the crowd.
"Ooh!" Tracey squealed excitedly.
Horatio stared at his opponent for a second, then shook it off. He holds up a pokeball, "I present to you... Articuno!"
Everyone gasps. "The Funnel Cake stand is open!" Someone yelled, and everyone watching the match ran off. Horatio groaned.
"HEY!" Tracey yelled as he saw Ash starting to head over to the stand, "Where do you think your going?"
Ash shrugs, and said sadly, "I wanted funnel cake..."
Misty taps her foot, "Ashhhhh..." She said sternly.
Ash sighs, "Fine fine... I'll stay... stupid pokemon battle, its so hard to find funnel cake, but no, i gotta stick around and watch some stupid pokemon battle between two losers and thier crappy pokemon."
"Hey..." Tracey said hurt, "I'm standing RIGHT here... I heard you..."
Ash looked surprised, "You did?" Then he shrugged, "Oh well, I stand by what I said."
Misty yelled to Horatio, "Would you please just bring out your Articuno so you can beat Tracey."
"How do you know im going to lose?" Tracey whined.
Misty sighed, and explained, "Because you suck Tracey..."
Tracey pouts.
Misty sympathazies, "I'm sorry... but its true..."
Tracey sighs and says, "I know i know, but still..." He pouts.
Horatio sighs and says, "Ok then, stand back... here comes..." He pauses, and pauses... and waits...
Ash leans over to Brock and whispers, "Why doesnt he just throw out the damn pokeball already?"
Brock whispers back, "He's building up drama... standard Anime ploy."
"Get out of here!" Ash says.
Brock nods, "Dragonball does it all the time..."
SCENE CHANGE TO DRAGONBALL Z....
Announcer: "When we last left Dragonball Z, Goku was fighting the funny pink thing. He declared the battle over, preparing to finish off the match with one shot.
Goku gathers up his energy, he yells to his opponent, "Here comes my Kamehameha!" And Goku charges the move. And the enemy stands there.
"Grrr..... oooOOOOOO" Goku gathers more energy.
Close up of the enemy anticipating the attack.
Close up of Goku, still building up the attack.
Zoom in on the squishy pink enemy face, tense.
Zoom in on Goku face determined as he pulls in even more energy.
*Cut to commerical*
*And we're back*
Goku builds more energy drawing in power from all around.
The enemy stands there.
"Kaaaaaaaaaaaa...." Goku yells out, his whole body glowing.
The enemy looks at its watch.
"aaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."
Enemy starts to get bored.
"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...."
"HEY!" the pink monster yells, otherwise known as Kirby, "You wanna get on with this?"
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."
Announcer: Will Goku's move be strong enough to defeat Kirby? Tune in next time for DRAGONBALL!"
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY...
Horatio finally throws his pokeball, "Go! Articuno!" And out comes a giant blue bird. Tracey mutters, "Wow... its beautiful"
Ash agrees, "I never get tired of seeing Articuno, so majestic."
Horatio beams, "Its my pride and joy."
"Its a CHICKEN" Misty declared agreeing with Brock, "Its a GIANT CHICKEN!"
Standing there ready for battle is INDEED a giant chicken painted blue. Horatio looks horrified, "How... how DARE you! What an INSULT!"
"YEAH!" Tracey agrees, "Are you crazy Misty? Dont be so rude"
Misty grits her teeth, "Im NOT being rude... its a giant... freaking... chicken..."
Brock shakes his head, "Misty... chickens arent blue..."
Misty growls.
"Alright then," Brock says, "Time to start the match, GO!"
"Alright, use your tackle attack!" Horatio yells. The "articuno" just waddles around and pecks at the ground.
"Ingenious!" Tracey says, "What a way to do a tackle attack! But we'll fight back, Marril, use your tackle attack!"
The Marril rushes at "articuno" but just as it leaps into a tackle, "articuno" sees a worm and goes chasing after it. Marril misses by a mile and slams into the ground and knocks itself out cold.
Tracey groans. Brock declares Horatio the winner. Tracey shrugs, "Well i lost to a better man... good match!" And he shakes Horatio's hand, "Your Articuno is unbeatable!"
"Oh for the love of..." Misty says, "Staryu, WATERGUN that thing!"
Staryu comes out and blasts the "articuno" with a water gun attack.
"MISTY!" Brock yells, "What are you doing?"
"I'm... I'm just trying to prove its a fake!" Misty tries to explain.
"Well, you've have some problems with that before, havent you?" Ash repremands.
*SCENE CHANGE TO...
Ash, Misty, and Brock walk down just another road, and out comes 2 adults and a meowth. "Hi, can you help us?" The male said, "We're lost, and we dont know our way.."
Misty groans, "Oh for the love of, damnit Team Rocket, can we go ONE day without you trying to attack us?"
The 2 adults look shocked, "Whatever do you mean?"
Misty tackled the 2 and with the help of her pokemon continue to beat down the group. "Misty.." Ash said.
"Yeah Ash?" Misty asked breathlessly, still kicking the male.
"Thats not Team Rocket," Ash explained.
"What do you mean?" Misty asked stopping her assault, "A male, a female, and a meowth, its so obvious."
"Except for one thing?" Ash says.
"...and that is?" Misty asks.
"Well.. I'm pretty sure Team Rocket aren't black..." Ash said sardonically.
Misty glances down at her victims and sure enough, the two adults were much darker skinned then the usual Tam Rocket.
"Oops..."
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
"Well... THAT should get us letters" Brock says.
"But that time I was wrong, this time I'm right!" Misty declares, "LOOK!"
Sure enough, the watergun washed off the bird's paint, and sure enough, it WAS a giant chicken. Everyone gasps again. "Oh my god!" Tracey yelled, "It IS a chicken, a GIANT CHICKEN!"
"I can't believe it!" Horatio says, "I trusted you! I've taken care of you! I've even milked you!"
Misty raises an eye, "Milked... but its a male chicken... does that mean he..."
Misty shudders, "STOP... dont finish that..."
Horatio continues outraged, "Thats it! Get out of here!" And with that he kicks the giant chicken clean over the horizon, disappearing as a star in the distance.
Team Rocket laments their loss. "We never win..." James complains.
Jessie sighs, "I know I know... we need to get Don King as our manager or something."
"Yeah... even a fixed win would be nice once in a while" Meowth moans.
"Well... at least we're done for the day..." James says.
Suddenly the giant chicken comes crashing down in front of them. The chicken gets up in front of them, dusts itself off and heads off into the sunset. Oddly enough, music seems to play out of thin air...
You wear a disguise to look like human guys,
But your not a man... your a chicken boo...
The trio of villians watch it walk off and stare at each other. James raises an eyebrow and asks, "Anyone else in the mood for some fried chicken?"
Meowth holds up a butchers knife, "You dont have to ask me twice!"
Back to our heroes. "Hey," Tracey says, "Have you seen Horatio? I wanted to say goodbye but he seems to have disappeared."
"Sorry," Ash says, "Havent seen him..."
Off in a shadowy area of the festival we see Horatio walk over and stop. Then he hunches over. And his head opens, and out comes two mice. "Its a shame that your Articuno turned out to be fake." The lankier mouse said.
"Yes Pinky," The shorter bigger headed mouse says, "If only it was real, we could have frozen the towns water supply and we would have ruled the world! Well come on then... we best prepare for tomorrow night."
"Why Brain? What we gonna do tomorrow night?" Pinky asks.
"Why, the same thing we do every night Pinky. TRY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"
As they walk away we hear, "They're dinky... they're pinky and the brain brain brain brain... *CRUNCH* *SQUISH*
Ash steps on them while walking by. "Did you hear something?" he asks Misty.
Misty shrugs, "Other then the two Animaniac jokes in a row... nope."
"Yeah really, whats up with that?" Ash says, "Was there a two for one sale at the extinct cartoon department?"
Ash looks over at the kids from Card Captors. The young girl from it yells over, "HEY, we're not extinct yet!"
"Yet..." Ash says with an evil chuckle, and the pokemon kids walk away.
Ash and Misty join Tracey and Brock. They stand there. And stand there... and stand there. Ash looks at his watch. "Shouldn't this be over with by now?" Ash asked.
Brock shrugs.
Ash goes on, "Havent we done everything we're suppose to?"
Tracey pulls out a checklist... "Let's see... Pokemon battle?"
Ash: "Check"
Tracey: "Defeating Team Rocket"
Ash: "Check"
Tracey: "Random offensive jokes?"
Ash: "Umm... yeah... we had that mexican crack before, and the whole thing on protesters. So, Check."
Tracey: "Obligitory Disney ripping?"
Ash: "Haha, oh yeah, check, though I wouldnt mind sneaking a few more in..."
Tracey: "Obligitory WWE rip?"
Ash: "Hmmm... I think we missed that one!"
SCENE CHANGE TO A WWE RING
(this one is for all the WWE Fans out there) HHH stands in the middle of the ring, although he looks much more scrawnier then we're used to seeing him. He addresses the camera, along with his girlfriend, Stephanine McMahon, who is looking rather flat chested. HHH takes the microphone. "Greetings, my name is HHH, prince of the WWE. This is my fearless friend, Stephanine. Fabulous..."
HHH is interupted by Big Show's music hitting and the giant appears at the entrance way. HHH doesnt panic, he knows exactly what to do. He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a syringe. He holds it up in the air and yells, "BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL" and quickly injects himself in the arm. The old He-Man theme plays as HHH doubles in muscle mass.
"I... HAVE THE POWER!!!!" He spins and points the syringe at Stephanie and sprays her with the remaining liquid . Miraculously a bright light envelopes her and her breasts triple in size...
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
Brock, *evil chuckle*, "Yeah... thats the good stuff..."
"So..." Ash asks, "How do we finish this?"
Misty shrugs, "We DO seem to have that problem, dont we?"
Brock, "Well, I know of another person that has an even worse finishing problem..."
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO CLARK KENTS BEDROOM
Superman is looking embaressed in bed with Lois Lane, who looks even more unsatified then before. "Are you sure your name is Superman, and not the Flash, fastest man alive?"
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
Misty shakes her head, "Its good that you got that last pot shot in... but we still need an ending."
"Hey, speaking of Pot Shots..." Ash says.
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO...
Cheech and Chong still fighting over the fully loaded bong. Cheech pulls out a gun and shoots Chong and takes a long hit of his prize.
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
Everyone stares at Ash. "You see..." He explains, "Reefer... shooting... pot... shot... pot shot. Get it?"
Misty shakes her head again, "Can we please end the pain?"
Tracey grins, "Speaking of ending the pain..."
*SCENE CHANGE TO...
...
...
...
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
"Choked again?" Brock asked, "Damn, you suck at this"
Thats the last straw. Tracey reaches into his pocket, "That DOES IT!" Tracey yells furious, "I'm going to get all of you! MARILL, come out and kill them all!"
Marill comes out of its pokeball, looks at Tracey, and falls over dead. "DAMNIT!!!" Tracey yells, everyone else falls over laughing, Tracy fumes, "Can we just end this damn thing?"
Ash snaps his fingers, "What about the Gargoyles ending?"
*SCENE CHANGE TO ENDING #1
Ash, Misty, Tracey and Brock stand looking over the edge of a building just before the sunrises. "We must protect this land... this... Kanto League, from those that would cause us harm." Ash says in an unnaturally deep voice. All four of them growl and turn to stone as the sun rise. Pikahchu leaps on its owners shoulders and turn to stone also. Psyduck tries to do the same to Misty, but turns to stone and falls off the building.
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
Brock shakes his head, "Ok Ash... that just didnt make any sense."
"Oh yeah," Ash says sarcastically, "Cause this whole freaking story has made TONS of sense. I mean LOOK at that guy over there!!!"
Over to the side and Alfred E. Neuman stands there and says, "What? Me worry?"
All four shake thier heads in confusion. "I dont think anyone but the writer will get that joke..." Misty says, "And I really dont feel like explaining it."
Tracey says, "You know, we can always settle for the Hamtaro ending..."
*SCENE CHANGE TO ENDING #2
...sitting at a desk. Ash is writing in his journal. "Today we went to a pokemon festival. It was fun and I saw all types of pokemon. Misty wasnt wearing a bra today. I like that. Team Rocket attacked us. James WAS wearing a bra. I dont like that... that kind of disturbs me."
Ash picks up Pikachu and says, "Today was a good day wasnt it! And I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be even better!"
Pikachu tilts its head and goes, "Hickhick?... OOPS... I mean... 'Pika?"
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
Before anyone can say anything, Tracey shakes his head, "Nah... that sucks."
Suddenly, Jessie, James, and Meowth come walking into the scene. "Hey, we cant leave until you guys wrap this up." Jessie complains.
"I know, I know," Ash says, "We're having some problems coming up with an ending..."
James says, "Why dont you just do this..."
*SCENE CHANGE TO ENDING #3
Jessie sits back in the chair and brags to Meowth, "Ahhh... sweet victory at last... we finally have captured Pikachu!"
Meowth laughs, "Yeah, it may have taken years, but wait til the boss sees it, he'll promote us."
Jessie looks around, "Hey, where's James?"
Meowth shrugs, "I saw Jimmy go into the bedroom with Pikachu, but that was like an hour ago... oh NO!... He wouldnt have!!"
Jessie looks worried and runs into the bedroom where we see...
...James lying on the bed, squirming and moaning in pleasure. Next to the bed is Pikachu, attached to its cheeks are wires, letting Pikachu pump electricity through them. The wires run to two clips snapped on Jame's nipples. "Ohhhh it was soooo worth the wait!" he shrieks.
*SCENE CHANGE VERY VERY QUICKLY BACK TO MAIN STORY
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU????" Everyone in the scene screams at James.
Jame shrugs, "It was just a suggestion."
"Jesus H. Tap-Dancing Christ!" Ash says exasperatedly.
Brock pulls out a bar of soap and smears it into his eyes, "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!! I CAN STILL SEE IT EVEN WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES.!!!"
Misty shudders, "Ok... we have to end this... NOW!"
***ANNOUNCER: "So once again, the day is saved by... the powerful girls!!!"
Misty shakes her head, "Wrong show..."
***ANNOUNCER: "I know, but I havent said anything since the beginning of the show!"
Misty sighs, "I wonder if I could change shows and become an actress on Yu- Gi-Oh"
*SCENE CHANGE TO YU-GI-OH
Yu-gi-oh declares, "Oh no, my dark wizard is only at steel power plus 1. But if i play the card of dark sorrows face down I can take another turn and be able to use the Griffin of Dumbldore which can cast bonestorm to lower my opponents fire taking ability. But thats only if he doesnt have a Dark Mage card that can cast demon's light oh all cards played sideways."
Misty stares at him, and after a moment says, "What the fuck are you talking about?"
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
Everyone stands around trying to think of a good closing.
Meowth sighs, "I cant think of an ending for this story..."
Ash, a la' Grouch Marx, "Really? I cant think of anything else!"
*Rim shot*
Everyone looks up, to see Pikachu at the drumset now. Everyone stares. "Pikachu, get away from those..." Ash says
"Pikal chui chuc pikachuk pikapim pikae..." It says. (But YOU got to play earlier!)
Brock snaps his fingers, "Hey, we always have the Stephen Speilberg ending!"
"Hmm...." Misty says, "Works for me"
"Lets do it!" Tracey says.
"Hey..." Ash says, "Sounds good to me, but before we go, can we get one more Disney bashing joke in?"
"SURE!" Brock says, "Why not?"
*SCENE CHANGE TO A MOVIE TRAILER
On the screen we see that this trailer is appropriate for all ages. An voice on the screen says, "For years Disney has been taking adult books and making them into water down kiddy musicals. First, we took you to the streets of London in "The Great Mouse Detectives". Next we took you to the French Revolution in "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" And now, Disney takes you to a place, that we all will visit some day...
..
...HELL!!!" The sceen bursts into flames and horrible demons fill the screen. We hear people wailing in the background suffering. Suddenly the wails go soprano and into an opening of song. The demons go into chorus, "Welcome to Hell, you wont like your stay, you were mean in your life, now your going toooo payyyyyyy"
Announcer: "This Summer, Disney brings you "Dante's Inferno! Follow Dante, along with his wacky spirit hampster guide, Virgil, through the 9 circles of hell!"
Dante (voice supplied by Jerry Seinfeld): "Whats the deal with Hell? Is it hot enough here? I dont know! Maybe Satan, is trying to get a tan. Maybe THAT'S why he's so grouchy!"
Hampster Virgil: (As voiced by Richard Simmons) Come on Come on Dante! This heat is great to shake the fat out of those christmas hams! We still have 6 more circles to get through, lets feel the burn!"
We see a few cut scenes, first of Dante, trying to cross the giant river of shit, without getting any on his shoes. Then we see Dante helping push a giant boulder up a giant hill. We see Virgil pull out a snowball and it quickly melts, "Hey, i guess that old saying IS correct!"
Coming to all theaters Summer 2004
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY
Ash sighs, "Ohhh thats was a good one! Alright, story's over, who's up for some drinking? I'm buying"
Everyone goes, "Hurray!" And walks off, leaving us to go to the final ending.
*SCENE CHANGE TO ENDING #4
We cut to a ocean, and a quickly sinking ship. Ash, the only one left, is clinging onto the mast of the sinking ship for all he's worth, in his hands he holds a rifle.
The giant pikachu circles around, moving in for the final kill. Ash aims his rifle... "Come on..."
The giant pikachu moves in closer, "Smile, you son of a bitch!" Ash yells. In a deep roar, Pikachu yells, "Piiiikaaaaaaa" opening its mouth slightly.
Ash pulls the trigger, and the giant Pikachu is blown into a million pieces. "AH HAAAA!" Ash cheers as his foe sinks to the bottom of the sea, a bloody mess. Ash cheers, "Its OVER!!!" Suddenly Ariel, the little mermaid, leaps out of the water, sinks her teeth into Ash's throat, and pulls him down under, getting revenge for all the Disney jokes.
A message comes up that says...
THE END
Pikachu walks onto the screen with a pencil and writes...
THE END... or is it?
Ash walks onto the screen and adds...
THE END... or is it? Yes, it most certainly is!
Pikachu adds...
THE END... or is it? Yes, it most certainly is! Are you sure?
Ash adds...
THE END... or is it? Yes, it most certainly is! Are you sure? Yep, trust me, lets go get something eat.
Pikachu adds...
THE END... or is it? Yes, it most certainly is! Are you sure? Yep, trust me, lets go get something eat. Hot damn, lets go!
The two leave the scene. Brock walks into the scene and adds...
THE END... or is it? Yes, it most certainly is! Are you sure? Yep, trust me, lets go get something eat. Hot damn, lets go! For all the ladies, Brock's number: 555-hot meat
Brock leaves the scene. We fade to black...
Disclaimer: Most of the things made fun of in this story were copywrited material. Of course by you reading this your just as guilty of the crime then I am... and if i go down, YOU go down. This story is an orginal work except for the things that were stolen. This story should not have been read by people who are pregnant. This story is NOT a significant source of vitamins A, B12 or E. This story is void in South Carolina. 4 out of 5 dentists agree that this story, along with regular brushing and flossing will significantly reduce your chance of getting the gum desiese that causes gingervities. This story IS the freshsaver. Do not open until X- Mas, but use by 1-17-03 for best freshness. This story is NOT the real slim shady.
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed, pleaseeeeeee take a moment and give me a review. By the way... there is a spider on your shoulder... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... made you look.