Am I dreaming? Or is it real? I waited so long for her to come back to me, I didn´t want to accept that she´s dead, and I always kept the faith that she will return to me one day. And now the day has come, and she´s here. I can see her, there, how she´s standing at the window. I can smell her and touch her, but still I can´t believe that it is true. Ich wished her to come back to me for her so long, but instead of being really happy, I ´m afraid. Afraid of her, afraid of us and also scared of our future. She is so near but though we are not close. In fact I feel like she never was as far away from me as she is now. What did they made happen to her, what did she has to endure while she was in Manticore, while these "monsters" called humans tortured her? When I look into her, look into her eyes I can see it. Can see the torment. There seems to be something broken, something inside of her. Something that I can´t even get it. She has changed in some way. I can feel there´s something between us, like a barriere. Al cold that separates us from each other. Still I love her, I would even say I love her more than ever But I can´t get through to her. I just wanna touch her, wanna kiss her without being afraid of dying in the next moment. So I don´t do it. It hurts too much. But even more worse is to see her suffer and to know that I can´t do anything to make it better. I don not yet know how, but I promise to you, Max, I ´ll do all I´ll be able to make your life better. I know you´ve been through hell, but now you escaped, and yours safe with me. I promise to you to protect and to help you as goog as I could. I´ll try everything to give you back this wild glance in your eyes, to see you smile again. I love you, Max, more than everything else. I love your smile, you´re dark brown hair, your catlike movements, the way you look at me or talk at me, and I want you to know all this. But I don´t know how to tell ya. I don´t know how you would react if I would tell you about it and so I keep it inside of me, hoping that you understand it without words, without talking about. Believe me, we´ll find a way to be together again, I´m sure of it and I´ll always be there for you, I promise.