THE DAY CAIT CAIT SITH WENT INSANE!!!!!!!!!
Part two: Survival
Disclaimer:I dont own FF7 characters, I dont own Squarsoft, I Definately
dont own The Planet (Sorry Seperoth). Aww for christ sake, its a friggin
FAN FICTION people! I DO NOT own SQUARESOFT material. there, you happy.I
dont own south park caracters either. I dont own anything that is mentioned
in this fanfiction.
The 3 members of the group climed the high mountain to reach gold saucer. They took a quicker route this time, just so they whouldn't have to deal with all those anoying beggars in Barrets home town. The Icey mountain froze Cid's bones as they climed to the top.
Barret: %^%%@# Cid! I thought you knew your way around these parts!
Cid: I told you I only knew the way down, I mean, I did plumit 5,000 feet when I crashed the Highwind.
Red: Maybee if you didn't shave your legs so much, Barret, you whouldn't be so cold!
Cid: HA you shave your legs, what a 'wus!
Berret: Sud'up! It's not my fault that Red watches as I do it!
Cid: o_O You people just get more @#$%#$@% disturbing every @$#%#@$% day. #@$%@#$%#! Hey, swearing made me warm!
Red: No kiddin'? ^#%^#%^#%^%&#@%!^%&#^*#(*#&@@!%&^%*(#%)&^)@^(@)%^(@^$#^@#^%@^^%^%^@^%@^%^%^% ^@^%&^%*&*&*#%*@^!#$^%!^$&#%*^%*#@^@%^^%&^*^^%*&*&*^%&^%@^^@%^@%*&$*#%^&^%$@ %5%%^^%@@^%&(*$&@%&&$$^#%@#~$#@$^%*&*%^&^^^)^(&(#$)(@!(#@(*!)@!(#)($%($(#)#@ $@$$#@~~%$#@!$#@%~#%#@%@$#%@$%!$#@!@#$!#%~@@#@!@#%$#^$#@@@#$%^$%^%^ with frosting on the side! HEY, IT WORKED!
Berret:^%$#@%&*^%$*%$#^%$#%!$#@*~#@%(!^$#*!#$^$#*^%^%&$^&@%^@%&%&@^$^%^%&^%& %^%! Gasps for breath. man this mountain air sure dose take it outa you!
Cid: Then we must be close to the sumit, c'mon!
The 3 scurry to the top. near the top they run out of energy and set up camp in a cave. Finaly they were warmed up and relaxed in their camp, until the exit became blocked off with snow.
Everyone: %@^%%&#@%^&@$%&@%^%@^!
Cid: What're we gona do!
Red: Big open spaces, Big WIDE open spaces..... AHHHHHH! I cant stay in here much longer, I'm claustrophobic!
Barret: Hey, I got just the thing to calm you down.
Barret pulls out a hypodermic needle and gives Red a shot.
Red: Hamam, im a ....... preaty hamster.........
Cid: What was that?
Barret: Tranquilizer, heehheheh!
Suddenly Red hops up and bite's barret.
Barret: AHHHHHHHHH! ouchies!
Cid: [re-reads the lable on the needle] YOU IDIOT, THIS IS HYPER! It looks like it's up to me to calm everyone down.
Cid pulls a green plant out of his pocket, rolls it up, lights it, and blows smoke into the extreemly nervouse Barret and the hyper Red's face. Almost emidiatly, they clam down.
Red: .....Hey Barret.....
Barret: .....Yeah...hehehe......
Red: Your blood....... its red. Im Red! Your blood is me man!
Cid: NOW THIS IS A PARTY!
Barret: Seperoth is a friggin Pedofile, man!
Cid: Why you sayin' dat!
Barret: Cus' I say dirty pages with little kids in em on my, er, his computer.
Red: And what did he say he does to that cat, man. I better make sure, *hicup*, I have a butt guard around him, man!
Everyone: hahhahaheheheh!
Meanwhile, In Coata De Sol
Cloud: Where the $#%$#@% is everyone?
Cloud, Tifa, and the repaired Vincent walked onto the beach, to discover Seperoth lying on the ground, about to reach into his own pants while thinking about his bath partner.
Tifa: What the $%$#% are you doing Seperoth?
Seperoth: Thiking about my bath partner.....
Vincent: Oh, you mean your fellow siner, Cait Sith, whom you bathe with?
Seperoth: Yeah, he went insane!
Cloud: So where is everyone?
Seperoth: Trying to stop Kitty from destroying the world with Black Materia.
Cloud: oh, tell me when they get back.
Cloud starts to walk to the Villa when it dawns on him, Cait Sith has went insane and is now trying to destroy the earth using the Black Materia. He fainted.
Tifa: A'bout time you get it! c'mon, we gota go to the Gold Saucer!
Cloud was still out cold.
Tifa: Fine, Vincent, lets go!
Tifa and Vincent leave in the Highwind. Hey, why didn't the other guys use it?
Seperoth: Cloud whould make a good bath partner......
Meanwhile, at the peak of some mountain.....
Cid: AHHHHHHHHHH [odviosly waking from a nightmare] Guys, I just had this dream that Seperoth forced Cloud to bathe with him.
Everyone: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Red: Hey, its.... mourning?
Barret and Cid snicker.
Red: You sick bastards! How could you do that to another guy!
Cid: What, get you high?
Red: oh, nevermind.
Barret: Ah, man, were still stuck in here!
Red: Oh, yeah.......... BIG OPEN SPACES, BIG WIIIIDE OPEN SPACES!
Red curls up into a fetal position on the ground of the cave while Barret and Cid try to figgure out what to do.
Cid: Im %@^@%# hungry man!
Barret: ME too..... Hey, if Red keeps this up, he'll give himself a heart attack, then we can eat him and-
Barret is interupted by Red leaping on Cid and attempting to bite through Cid's spear.
Cid: AHHHHH, GET THIS CRAZY CAT OFFA ME!
Red: I'm hungry, GIVE ME FOOD! BEEEEEEEEF JERKEY, BEEEEEEEEEEEEF JERKEY! HEEHEHEHEHEHEHE!
Barret tackles Red and begins to chew on him.
Cid: AHHH! you're both crazy! HELLPP MMEEEEEEEEE!
Barret and Red roll across the floor fighting to eat one another, both yelling " BEEEEEEEEEF JERKAY'", while Cid hyperventalates in a corner. His cigeret drops out of his mouth and lights a stick of dynomite that fell out when Red lunged on him. Cid hears the hissing sound of the wick and backs up to an opposing wall.
Meanwhile, in Costa De Sol
Cloud: STAY BACK YOU FREEK! AHHHHHHH, HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Seperoth: Ah, c'mon, you know you like it! hehehehehe!
Cloud:SOMEBODY, PLEASE HELP MEEEEEEEEEE! Wait a second, IM stronger than YOU!.........
Cloud takes some time to realize this....
Cloud: I CAN WUP YOU ARSE! BRING IT ON!
Seperoth: Fine, but if I win....
Cloud: YOU WONT, HYAAAA!
Cloud and Seperoth begin a mid-air battle (crouchin Cloud, Hidden Seperoth's winky!) when a large mass of Shinra soilders barge in, nearly puke when they see the half naked duo fighting, and then shock the two into fainting with cow prodders (man those r' fun! HEEEEHAAAA)
Meanwhile, on the Highwind......
Tifa: Vincent, were are you.....
For the last hour Tifa had been running from Vincent, who went crazy in a frenzy for blood (hey, I like scary movies).
Vincent: Aww, c'mon Tiff, being a vampire's Fun!
Tifa: Stay back you demonic.... er...... Vampire?
Suddenly the Highwind is hit by machine gun fire, Tifa looks out the window to discover 5 gelenkia airships, just as she looks, Vincent closes in on her.
Vincent: What're ya lookin at Tifa?
Then Vincent sees it, screems like a girl, then faints. Finaly one of the gelenkias catch up and none other than faggot president Ruffus hopes off it, and a couple of pink armored shinra soilders too....
Wow, okay, stay in tune for the next chapter, "President Ruffus's Tourture Techniqes." Chow!
The 3 members of the group climed the high mountain to reach gold saucer. They took a quicker route this time, just so they whouldn't have to deal with all those anoying beggars in Barrets home town. The Icey mountain froze Cid's bones as they climed to the top.
Barret: %^%%@# Cid! I thought you knew your way around these parts!
Cid: I told you I only knew the way down, I mean, I did plumit 5,000 feet when I crashed the Highwind.
Red: Maybee if you didn't shave your legs so much, Barret, you whouldn't be so cold!
Cid: HA you shave your legs, what a 'wus!
Berret: Sud'up! It's not my fault that Red watches as I do it!
Cid: o_O You people just get more @#$%#$@% disturbing every @$#%#@$% day. #@$%@#$%#! Hey, swearing made me warm!
Red: No kiddin'? ^#%^#%^#%^%&#@%!^%&#^*#(*#&@@!%&^%*(#%)&^)@^(@)%^(@^$#^@#^%@^^%^%^@^%@^%^%^% ^@^%&^%*&*&*#%*@^!#$^%!^$&#%*^%*#@^@%^^%&^*^^%*&*&*^%&^%@^^@%^@%*&$*#%^&^%$@ %5%%^^%@@^%&(*$&@%&&$$^#%@#~$#@$^%*&*%^&^^^)^(&(#$)(@!(#@(*!)@!(#)($%($(#)#@ $@$$#@~~%$#@!$#@%~#%#@%@$#%@$%!$#@!@#$!#%~@@#@!@#%$#^$#@@@#$%^$%^%^ with frosting on the side! HEY, IT WORKED!
Berret:^%$#@%&*^%$*%$#^%$#%!$#@*~#@%(!^$#*!#$^$#*^%^%&$^&@%^@%&%&@^$^%^%&^%& %^%! Gasps for breath. man this mountain air sure dose take it outa you!
Cid: Then we must be close to the sumit, c'mon!
The 3 scurry to the top. near the top they run out of energy and set up camp in a cave. Finaly they were warmed up and relaxed in their camp, until the exit became blocked off with snow.
Everyone: %@^%%&#@%^&@$%&@%^%@^!
Cid: What're we gona do!
Red: Big open spaces, Big WIDE open spaces..... AHHHHHH! I cant stay in here much longer, I'm claustrophobic!
Barret: Hey, I got just the thing to calm you down.
Barret pulls out a hypodermic needle and gives Red a shot.
Red: Hamam, im a ....... preaty hamster.........
Cid: What was that?
Barret: Tranquilizer, heehheheh!
Suddenly Red hops up and bite's barret.
Barret: AHHHHHHHHH! ouchies!
Cid: [re-reads the lable on the needle] YOU IDIOT, THIS IS HYPER! It looks like it's up to me to calm everyone down.
Cid pulls a green plant out of his pocket, rolls it up, lights it, and blows smoke into the extreemly nervouse Barret and the hyper Red's face. Almost emidiatly, they clam down.
Red: .....Hey Barret.....
Barret: .....Yeah...hehehe......
Red: Your blood....... its red. Im Red! Your blood is me man!
Cid: NOW THIS IS A PARTY!
Barret: Seperoth is a friggin Pedofile, man!
Cid: Why you sayin' dat!
Barret: Cus' I say dirty pages with little kids in em on my, er, his computer.
Red: And what did he say he does to that cat, man. I better make sure, *hicup*, I have a butt guard around him, man!
Everyone: hahhahaheheheh!
Meanwhile, In Coata De Sol
Cloud: Where the $#%$#@% is everyone?
Cloud, Tifa, and the repaired Vincent walked onto the beach, to discover Seperoth lying on the ground, about to reach into his own pants while thinking about his bath partner.
Tifa: What the $%$#% are you doing Seperoth?
Seperoth: Thiking about my bath partner.....
Vincent: Oh, you mean your fellow siner, Cait Sith, whom you bathe with?
Seperoth: Yeah, he went insane!
Cloud: So where is everyone?
Seperoth: Trying to stop Kitty from destroying the world with Black Materia.
Cloud: oh, tell me when they get back.
Cloud starts to walk to the Villa when it dawns on him, Cait Sith has went insane and is now trying to destroy the earth using the Black Materia. He fainted.
Tifa: A'bout time you get it! c'mon, we gota go to the Gold Saucer!
Cloud was still out cold.
Tifa: Fine, Vincent, lets go!
Tifa and Vincent leave in the Highwind. Hey, why didn't the other guys use it?
Seperoth: Cloud whould make a good bath partner......
Meanwhile, at the peak of some mountain.....
Cid: AHHHHHHHHHH [odviosly waking from a nightmare] Guys, I just had this dream that Seperoth forced Cloud to bathe with him.
Everyone: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Red: Hey, its.... mourning?
Barret and Cid snicker.
Red: You sick bastards! How could you do that to another guy!
Cid: What, get you high?
Red: oh, nevermind.
Barret: Ah, man, were still stuck in here!
Red: Oh, yeah.......... BIG OPEN SPACES, BIG WIIIIDE OPEN SPACES!
Red curls up into a fetal position on the ground of the cave while Barret and Cid try to figgure out what to do.
Cid: Im %@^@%# hungry man!
Barret: ME too..... Hey, if Red keeps this up, he'll give himself a heart attack, then we can eat him and-
Barret is interupted by Red leaping on Cid and attempting to bite through Cid's spear.
Cid: AHHHHH, GET THIS CRAZY CAT OFFA ME!
Red: I'm hungry, GIVE ME FOOD! BEEEEEEEEF JERKEY, BEEEEEEEEEEEEF JERKEY! HEEHEHEHEHEHEHE!
Barret tackles Red and begins to chew on him.
Cid: AHHH! you're both crazy! HELLPP MMEEEEEEEEE!
Barret and Red roll across the floor fighting to eat one another, both yelling " BEEEEEEEEEF JERKAY'", while Cid hyperventalates in a corner. His cigeret drops out of his mouth and lights a stick of dynomite that fell out when Red lunged on him. Cid hears the hissing sound of the wick and backs up to an opposing wall.
Meanwhile, in Costa De Sol
Cloud: STAY BACK YOU FREEK! AHHHHHHH, HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Seperoth: Ah, c'mon, you know you like it! hehehehehe!
Cloud:SOMEBODY, PLEASE HELP MEEEEEEEEEE! Wait a second, IM stronger than YOU!.........
Cloud takes some time to realize this....
Cloud: I CAN WUP YOU ARSE! BRING IT ON!
Seperoth: Fine, but if I win....
Cloud: YOU WONT, HYAAAA!
Cloud and Seperoth begin a mid-air battle (crouchin Cloud, Hidden Seperoth's winky!) when a large mass of Shinra soilders barge in, nearly puke when they see the half naked duo fighting, and then shock the two into fainting with cow prodders (man those r' fun! HEEEEHAAAA)
Meanwhile, on the Highwind......
Tifa: Vincent, were are you.....
For the last hour Tifa had been running from Vincent, who went crazy in a frenzy for blood (hey, I like scary movies).
Vincent: Aww, c'mon Tiff, being a vampire's Fun!
Tifa: Stay back you demonic.... er...... Vampire?
Suddenly the Highwind is hit by machine gun fire, Tifa looks out the window to discover 5 gelenkia airships, just as she looks, Vincent closes in on her.
Vincent: What're ya lookin at Tifa?
Then Vincent sees it, screems like a girl, then faints. Finaly one of the gelenkias catch up and none other than faggot president Ruffus hopes off it, and a couple of pink armored shinra soilders too....
Wow, okay, stay in tune for the next chapter, "President Ruffus's Tourture Techniqes." Chow!