"The Day Cait Sith Went Insane"
Part three: President Ruffus's Tourture Techniqes
Disclaimer:I dont own FF7 characters, I dont own Squarsoft, I Definately
dont own The Planet (Sorry Seperoth). Aww for christ sake, its a friggin
FAN FICTION people! I DO NOT own SQUARESOFT material. there, you happy.I
dont own south park caracters either. I dont own anything that is mentioned
in this fanfiction.
Cloud, Vincent, Barret, Cid, Red, and Seperoth were chianed up to a wall in a dark room.
Cloud:[waking up] What the $#$$ is going on!
Cid: Welcome back, now whould you do me a favor and kill me, PLEASE!
Barret: NO NO NO, ME FIRST
Ruffus: Okay....
Barret: AHHHHHHHHHH! he's back! Dont let him touch me Cid, DONT LET'M TOUCH MEEEEEEAA!
Vincent: Siners......
Red: This is truly disqusting......
Cloud: WHAT THE %#% IS GOING ON!!!!!
Cid: Ruffus captured us and locked us up so we'd tell him where the Black Materia is, but he wants to tourture us in a way that whould make Vincent say Siners a million times.
Cloud: NO!
Ruffus: Yes!
Ruffus walks tword Cloud, who was stuggling against his chains so mush you'd think his arms whould fall off.
Cloud: AHHHHHHHH! STAY AWAY....... RED'S GAY! BUG HIM!
Red: ....... oooooh, low blow.
Ruffus smilles and walks slinkishly tword Red.
Red: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Please, NO!
Ruffus shushes Red and winks at him mischeviosly (AHHHHHHH, nononono) and the part of the wall Red is on flips over, and Ruffus jumps in with him.
Red:[partialy muffled by wall] No, stay back! hey heyheyheyhey, that dosnt bend that way! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Stop, No, no.......no.......................................
The wall flips back, Ruffus walks out of a door in the room, wipes something off his face, and smiles at Vincent.
Vincent: Heheehee! I can excape!
Vincent turns into a bat (hahha) and flys into a wall. Ruffus puts him in a cage to save for later. Then Ruffus turns to Barret.
Barret: Cloud, tell... the girls at the HonneyBee inn that...... I'll miss em'
Cloud: BARRET NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Barrets pannel flips up, and Ruffus walks into the back room.
Barret: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Red: I'm gonna kill you Cloud....
Barret: NONONONONONONONO!
Red: I'll make it very painfull........
Barret:THATS IT!
Hundreds of shots can be heard from the room, Ruffus runs out the door, wipes something off his face, and sits on the ground, hyperventalating.
Ruffus: That.... huff pufff...... was too close! I guess you wont be able to go to the back room for a while boys, I have some soilders take barret down with yout girlfreinds.
Vincent: Yuffie!
Cloud: Tifa!....... Wait, did you jus' say "Yuffie"? Dude, she's like 17 and you're like, 30! Another thing, how can bats speak?
Everyone:o_O.......
Ruffus leaves the room ( thank god! ) and a horde of soilders rush in. A group hags Vincent back up, and the rest of them carries Barret to the door.
Cloud: Help..... me.....
Soilder: I know, I know. I feel for ya man.
The soilders clear out of the room, and ruffus re-enters.
Ruffus: Now, where were we?
Cloud:[eye's turn blood red] I'll tell ya where we were! HYAAAAAA!
Cloud beaks his chains, and is emidiatly tackled and re hanged on the wall by a mass of soilders.
Soilders: Sorry, buddy.
Seperoth: Hey, at least I tried, Cid!
Cid: Oh, that was you huh? Cool trick, you'll have to teach me it.
Seperoth: I only teach bath partners.
Cid: o_O Okay, nevermind then!
Ruffus: My, Cid, you seam spunky!
Cid: Touch me and die!
Ruffus: Okay!
Cid's pannel flips up, Ruffus walks into room.
Cid: $^%^@^%^@$#@&&^&#$%!$%#@$@#!#@%$%$#!@!%^!#$&@!^~! Heeeeeelp me!
Ruffus: OH YEAH! I LIKE EM' ROUGH!
Cid: AHHHHHHHHHH!
Red: Poor Cid. Hehehehe! By the time this is over we'll be just like the cast of FFX!
Suddenly a ninja star cuts everyone's chains. No soilders rush out. Tifa and Barret apear out of the shadows.
Tifa: Cloud! you're still normal!
Cloud: Thanks to you!
The too hug, everyone rolls their eyes, even Yuffie, who had hoped out of the window cill of the room.
Vincent: Yuff-Yuff!
Yuffie: Vinnie-bear!
The two hug, seperoth laughs manicaly as Red pukes.
Seperoth: Poor Red's still fealing the effects of Ruffus's gayness!
Barret: Where's Cid?
Cloud lowers his head in sorrow.
Barret: NOOOOOO!
Suddenly Cids pannel flips over, Ruffus attached instead of Cid.
Cid runs out of the door to the room. Spear ready!
Cid: Alright, you shinra kid-
Cloud: We've been saved.......... yay. AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
Barret: Hey, Cid, what'da have to do to get off those chains, snicker snicker.
Tifa: OH MY GAUD, what is that stuff on yer' face.
Cid lunges his spear next to her neck.
Cid: IF ANY ONE FINDS OUT ABOUT THIS, YOU DIE!
Everyone: o_O
After the crew excapes from the lair, they load up in the highwind and take off for Golden Suacer!
Stay tuned for the pre-final chapter, chapter, "Super Sneaks!" Ta-ta
Cloud, Vincent, Barret, Cid, Red, and Seperoth were chianed up to a wall in a dark room.
Cloud:[waking up] What the $#$$ is going on!
Cid: Welcome back, now whould you do me a favor and kill me, PLEASE!
Barret: NO NO NO, ME FIRST
Ruffus: Okay....
Barret: AHHHHHHHHHH! he's back! Dont let him touch me Cid, DONT LET'M TOUCH MEEEEEEAA!
Vincent: Siners......
Red: This is truly disqusting......
Cloud: WHAT THE %#% IS GOING ON!!!!!
Cid: Ruffus captured us and locked us up so we'd tell him where the Black Materia is, but he wants to tourture us in a way that whould make Vincent say Siners a million times.
Cloud: NO!
Ruffus: Yes!
Ruffus walks tword Cloud, who was stuggling against his chains so mush you'd think his arms whould fall off.
Cloud: AHHHHHHHH! STAY AWAY....... RED'S GAY! BUG HIM!
Red: ....... oooooh, low blow.
Ruffus smilles and walks slinkishly tword Red.
Red: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Please, NO!
Ruffus shushes Red and winks at him mischeviosly (AHHHHHHH, nononono) and the part of the wall Red is on flips over, and Ruffus jumps in with him.
Red:[partialy muffled by wall] No, stay back! hey heyheyheyhey, that dosnt bend that way! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Stop, No, no.......no.......................................
The wall flips back, Ruffus walks out of a door in the room, wipes something off his face, and smiles at Vincent.
Vincent: Heheehee! I can excape!
Vincent turns into a bat (hahha) and flys into a wall. Ruffus puts him in a cage to save for later. Then Ruffus turns to Barret.
Barret: Cloud, tell... the girls at the HonneyBee inn that...... I'll miss em'
Cloud: BARRET NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Barrets pannel flips up, and Ruffus walks into the back room.
Barret: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Red: I'm gonna kill you Cloud....
Barret: NONONONONONONONO!
Red: I'll make it very painfull........
Barret:THATS IT!
Hundreds of shots can be heard from the room, Ruffus runs out the door, wipes something off his face, and sits on the ground, hyperventalating.
Ruffus: That.... huff pufff...... was too close! I guess you wont be able to go to the back room for a while boys, I have some soilders take barret down with yout girlfreinds.
Vincent: Yuffie!
Cloud: Tifa!....... Wait, did you jus' say "Yuffie"? Dude, she's like 17 and you're like, 30! Another thing, how can bats speak?
Everyone:o_O.......
Ruffus leaves the room ( thank god! ) and a horde of soilders rush in. A group hags Vincent back up, and the rest of them carries Barret to the door.
Cloud: Help..... me.....
Soilder: I know, I know. I feel for ya man.
The soilders clear out of the room, and ruffus re-enters.
Ruffus: Now, where were we?
Cloud:[eye's turn blood red] I'll tell ya where we were! HYAAAAAA!
Cloud beaks his chains, and is emidiatly tackled and re hanged on the wall by a mass of soilders.
Soilders: Sorry, buddy.
Seperoth: Hey, at least I tried, Cid!
Cid: Oh, that was you huh? Cool trick, you'll have to teach me it.
Seperoth: I only teach bath partners.
Cid: o_O Okay, nevermind then!
Ruffus: My, Cid, you seam spunky!
Cid: Touch me and die!
Ruffus: Okay!
Cid's pannel flips up, Ruffus walks into room.
Cid: $^%^@^%^@$#@&&^&#$%!$%#@$@#!#@%$%$#!@!%^!#$&@!^~! Heeeeeelp me!
Ruffus: OH YEAH! I LIKE EM' ROUGH!
Cid: AHHHHHHHHHH!
Red: Poor Cid. Hehehehe! By the time this is over we'll be just like the cast of FFX!
Suddenly a ninja star cuts everyone's chains. No soilders rush out. Tifa and Barret apear out of the shadows.
Tifa: Cloud! you're still normal!
Cloud: Thanks to you!
The too hug, everyone rolls their eyes, even Yuffie, who had hoped out of the window cill of the room.
Vincent: Yuff-Yuff!
Yuffie: Vinnie-bear!
The two hug, seperoth laughs manicaly as Red pukes.
Seperoth: Poor Red's still fealing the effects of Ruffus's gayness!
Barret: Where's Cid?
Cloud lowers his head in sorrow.
Barret: NOOOOOO!
Suddenly Cids pannel flips over, Ruffus attached instead of Cid.
Cid runs out of the door to the room. Spear ready!
Cid: Alright, you shinra kid-
Cloud: We've been saved.......... yay. AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
Barret: Hey, Cid, what'da have to do to get off those chains, snicker snicker.
Tifa: OH MY GAUD, what is that stuff on yer' face.
Cid lunges his spear next to her neck.
Cid: IF ANY ONE FINDS OUT ABOUT THIS, YOU DIE!
Everyone: o_O
After the crew excapes from the lair, they load up in the highwind and take off for Golden Suacer!
Stay tuned for the pre-final chapter, chapter, "Super Sneaks!" Ta-ta