Escapes:
Disclaimer: You know it. I know it. I don't own Artemis (though I'd love to.) or any other Characters, unless specified by me. His father's personality, I own. Yay!
Snippet from Artemis Fowl, the Extended Teenage Years:
"After Artemis' father recovered from his overly extended frostbite from Russia, Artemis' mother Angeline had completely recovered from her, ah, craziness, to the extent that she now insisted on "family time".. Of course, this would cause reactions from both senior and junior.."
"Aw.. Arty.. Would you like some more tea?" His mother's sugary voice broke through his thoughts like a thousand donuts, each bonking him once on the head. "No, Mother." He said through gritted teeth. It was enough watching her coo over his father. Expecting him to go along with their lovey- doveyness was just too much
He stormed out of the room, taking one last look at his parents, rubbing noses against each other. Uh-oh. This was no place for a teenage boy to be when, he winced, they did that. Ugh. He went to his labtop to surf off all the extra sugar he had collected during that family time.
Later that night:
"Butler." The voice crackled on the cell phone, but still as sharp and piercing as ever. The bodyguard responded immediately from his cold and wet post outside the Fowl estates. Artemis Senior's first action on returning was to dismiss Butler, whom, he claimed, was not needed by a "legit" family. What he didn't know, however, was that, before the Senior had recovered, without ever leaving his labtop computer, Artemis had managed to get ahold of several drunken Russians in a chatroom, learned of Britva the Boss of Mafiya, and tipped off the police.
Of course, Artemis was considerate. He had offered the information to Britva as well, for half of the profits of the Mafiya. Britva had sent spit over the internet to land at Artemis' feet. Artemis had merely smiled his usual half-grim grin. As he well knew, Butler's associates were already headed to their hideout. It was only a matter of time before he got everything anyway. Britva certainly didn't need the money, heading towards jail the way he was.
And now Artemis had a little nest egg to himself. Seventy-five million. Not too shabby. More than enough to keep Butler in his services for twelve more years, and by then, he would have inherited the rest of everything, and go back to being nicely illegal.
"Yes, sir." He responded respectfully, but warily. It was nearly midnight. And darkness, nighttime, and Artemis Fowl did not seem like a comfortable thought. "Relax, Butler." His employer's tone was irritated. "I only need to escape this stifling castle. I'll meet you by the statue of the bagpiper. Prepare the Cattalina '69." "Why not the limo, sir?" Butler queried, his mouth suddenly dry. If Artemis didn't want to be recognized, it usually meant something was afoot..
"Oh, Butler.." sighed Artemis melodramatically. " Do I have to explain everything to you? I don't want those cameras at the gates to see a limo taking off! I need some time alone, and a Cattalina '69 is the least suspicious car in my father's collection of junk." His tone clearly implied that he didn't think much of it.
"Yes, sir." Said Butler, and resolved to shut up, but his curiosity got the better of him. "Where will you stay, sir?" "Oh, I'll just commit a crime, get the LEP to arrest me, and spend some time in a padded cell. You think?" snapped Artemis sarcastically. "I'll fly to Tara. We'll have a hard time squeezing you into that tree trunk hole portal, but I think we can manage. Those fairies could have use of those twisted versions of their own technology."
"Of course." Said Butler, and hung up. Then, before going to fetch the Cattalina, he bent down to his knees, praying that there would be no magic tricks this time.
What he didn't know was, on the other side of the dirt, through her little security camera in Artemis' gold coin, Holly was beating her head on the ground, wondering why Artemis had to come back, just as she'd gotten the triple acorn Logo.
Well, what do you think? Lousy? O.K.? Flamers will be doused by the community pool water, and bashed over the head with Holly's buzz baton, so no flames plz!
Disclaimer: You know it. I know it. I don't own Artemis (though I'd love to.) or any other Characters, unless specified by me. His father's personality, I own. Yay!
Snippet from Artemis Fowl, the Extended Teenage Years:
"After Artemis' father recovered from his overly extended frostbite from Russia, Artemis' mother Angeline had completely recovered from her, ah, craziness, to the extent that she now insisted on "family time".. Of course, this would cause reactions from both senior and junior.."
"Aw.. Arty.. Would you like some more tea?" His mother's sugary voice broke through his thoughts like a thousand donuts, each bonking him once on the head. "No, Mother." He said through gritted teeth. It was enough watching her coo over his father. Expecting him to go along with their lovey- doveyness was just too much
He stormed out of the room, taking one last look at his parents, rubbing noses against each other. Uh-oh. This was no place for a teenage boy to be when, he winced, they did that. Ugh. He went to his labtop to surf off all the extra sugar he had collected during that family time.
Later that night:
"Butler." The voice crackled on the cell phone, but still as sharp and piercing as ever. The bodyguard responded immediately from his cold and wet post outside the Fowl estates. Artemis Senior's first action on returning was to dismiss Butler, whom, he claimed, was not needed by a "legit" family. What he didn't know, however, was that, before the Senior had recovered, without ever leaving his labtop computer, Artemis had managed to get ahold of several drunken Russians in a chatroom, learned of Britva the Boss of Mafiya, and tipped off the police.
Of course, Artemis was considerate. He had offered the information to Britva as well, for half of the profits of the Mafiya. Britva had sent spit over the internet to land at Artemis' feet. Artemis had merely smiled his usual half-grim grin. As he well knew, Butler's associates were already headed to their hideout. It was only a matter of time before he got everything anyway. Britva certainly didn't need the money, heading towards jail the way he was.
And now Artemis had a little nest egg to himself. Seventy-five million. Not too shabby. More than enough to keep Butler in his services for twelve more years, and by then, he would have inherited the rest of everything, and go back to being nicely illegal.
"Yes, sir." He responded respectfully, but warily. It was nearly midnight. And darkness, nighttime, and Artemis Fowl did not seem like a comfortable thought. "Relax, Butler." His employer's tone was irritated. "I only need to escape this stifling castle. I'll meet you by the statue of the bagpiper. Prepare the Cattalina '69." "Why not the limo, sir?" Butler queried, his mouth suddenly dry. If Artemis didn't want to be recognized, it usually meant something was afoot..
"Oh, Butler.." sighed Artemis melodramatically. " Do I have to explain everything to you? I don't want those cameras at the gates to see a limo taking off! I need some time alone, and a Cattalina '69 is the least suspicious car in my father's collection of junk." His tone clearly implied that he didn't think much of it.
"Yes, sir." Said Butler, and resolved to shut up, but his curiosity got the better of him. "Where will you stay, sir?" "Oh, I'll just commit a crime, get the LEP to arrest me, and spend some time in a padded cell. You think?" snapped Artemis sarcastically. "I'll fly to Tara. We'll have a hard time squeezing you into that tree trunk hole portal, but I think we can manage. Those fairies could have use of those twisted versions of their own technology."
"Of course." Said Butler, and hung up. Then, before going to fetch the Cattalina, he bent down to his knees, praying that there would be no magic tricks this time.
What he didn't know was, on the other side of the dirt, through her little security camera in Artemis' gold coin, Holly was beating her head on the ground, wondering why Artemis had to come back, just as she'd gotten the triple acorn Logo.
Well, what do you think? Lousy? O.K.? Flamers will be doused by the community pool water, and bashed over the head with Holly's buzz baton, so no flames plz!