Author's Note: I know I promised a new chapter two days ago! I'm so sorry, but I felt like I had to get Artemis' character right in this chapter, because I've read my last two chapters and I realise he's probably going a bit out of character. Things are also probably a bit boring in this chapter because it's a build-up to the next chapter which is going to....well I'm not going to tell you, of course!
By the way, I received an interesting question from *Gillya*, who asked when I was going back to 2013. Well, let's see...if I'm going to have a 27-chaptered story, when do you think I'll go back to the present? :) I really don't want to spoil anything, so I'm not going to say which chapter will be the last chapter for Holly's flashback. I know some people are getting impatient to find out why Holly married Trouble (I think Rhapsody's one of them) but all I can say is, you don't have to wait much longer.
Special thanks to Blue Yeti for very constructive criticism and making me realise that trees don't grow underground, nor can you see the sky. :) Sorry for spoiling Eoin Colfer's setting, I'll keep that in mind next time.
Meanwhile, thank you for reviewing! flamaria13 really knows how to pester me into getting a new chapter out :) Also thanks to Eleida, animefanatic07 and Sakura/Jayde (say, are you the same person?) who have been very supportive.
-The End of a very long A/N :) -
Chapter Eleven: Forbidden
(Holly's point of view)
Feeling Artemis' lips on hers for a second time, Holly dissolved into bliss like she had before. Her eyes fluttered shut as she relished in tasting forbidden fruit for the second time. Holly felt herself swinging slightly on the rope with Artemis, and her head began to feel strangely light, like it had been the first time.
Then suddenly, out of nowhere, rational thought suddenly fought for space in her brain and she screamed in her head, This is wrong!
Holly was surprised at the sudden change in emotion. Reluctantly, she pulled away as the duo touched ground, feeling her cheeks turn crimson. Her legs dangled helplessly in the air as Artemis regarded her with expressionless blue eyes that held just a small tinge of bewilderment. He had always been good in covering up his emotions that way, which led Holly to question the words she had heard Artemis spoke that broke through her murderous reverie - those three words that frequently sent men into convulsions or waves of disgust; the almost saintly words of 'I love you'.
Holly found herself questioning: did Artemis mean them? Had he merely been saying those words just to save himself, to reach out to her, to distract her so that she would not kill him? If only he knew how confusing all this was, and Holly wasn't even sure if she liked him that much yet. Somehow, the idea of having a relationship with a human was rather appalling, and not many had gone down the same road as she. It was wrong, very wrong, very very wrong....... and Holly wasn't sure if she would like to be the first to tarnish the reputation of a fairy. It was strange how she hadn't questioned all this the first time they kissed, but that was maybe because it was her first, and subconsciously, she hadn't wanted to spoil anything. In addition, would Artemis love such a schizophrenic girl?
"Stop that!" Holly almost snapped, angry with him for turning her world upside down; angry with herself for giving in.
"...What?" Artemis frowned, but only slightly, his blue eyes filled with bewilderment.
"Never....never mind," Holly grumbled, looking away from the deep blue of Artemis' eyes.
You are crazy to even think of liking Artemis. It's so impossible, and you know it! she berated herself.
But impossibility never felt so good, a nagging voice awoke at the back of her brain and tempted her, her heart aching just for another show of emotion. You didn't complain the first time. What's wrong now?
You're right. I did like it the first time. That's the whole problem! If I don't control myself now, this whole thing with Artemis is going to get out of hand, Holly chided her sub-conscience. This is as far as it gets, Holly, stop deluding yourself because you know it will never work out. How do you know he really loves you anyway? Why didn't he say it beforehand?
Because Artemis has his pride! her sub-conscience argued back. Just like you wouldn't say it back to him because you're afraid of losing a very important part of yourself, and that's your heart!
Shut up! Holly screamed in her head, longing to switch off her sub-conscience like you would switch off a radio. Her sub-conscience could really drive her crazy sometimes, if her father hadn't already.
"Holly...is there anything wrong?" Artemis inquired.
"NO!" Holly shouted, a bit too quickly and loudly. "I mean, no," Holly said, trying to keep her raging emotions under control. She longed to kick Artemis out of her life. Then she longed to embrace him all night long.
"But you --" Artemis began, but trailed off when Holly fixed him with a steely glare. You are driving me crazy, Holly thought brokenly.
"Come on," Holly ignored his statement and took his hand, unsnapping the safety rope. "Let's get that nasty cut treated." She placed a hand on his brow and said softly, "Heal." Blue sparks flew merrily from her fingers and sealed his cut up. But Holly did not just feel blue sparks. She felt sparks everywhere, rushing along her body, tickling her spine, making her dizzy.
"That's enough," Holly said loudly, unsure if she was trying to shut her emotions up or telling Artemis that his cut was healed.
"Who are you talking to?" Artemis asked, and Holly could see him trying not to chuckle. His blue eyes were bemused and alarmed, all at the same time. Holly wished she didn't have to keep falling to the temptation of looking into those blue eyes that seemed to have grown hands which kept a firm grip on her heart.
"I think our Captain Short here has gone mildly schizophrenic," Artemis remarked, smiling amusedly. They both knew it was an understatement. When Holly was under her father's control, she wasn't just 'mildly' schizophrenic anymore. The very fact made Holly's heart tear up a bit more, because she knew Artemis couldn't like such a person.
"If you would stop commenting on my battered nervous system and tell me what the D'Arvit happened, maybe I won't slap you after all," Holly shot back, trying valiantly to stay angry with him.
Artemis grinned, before pulling her to him, and her defences crumbled. "If you won't tell me why you practically recoiled in horror after our brief kiss just now, then I'll have to do it again to find out why."
Holly could feel the blood pounding away loudly in her ears. She was so close...so close....she could give in, it would be like their first kiss, and both of them would be happy. She was happy being with Artemis, she was happy to be in love with him....but there was so much at risk...
She felt Artemis' lips grazing hers before she yanked away, guilt tormenting her heart.
Artemis' eyes clouded with confusion again. "Stop playing around, Holly, what's wrong? Do I disgust you?"
Holly began to walk away, her legs shaking like jelly. She refused to look at him, and chose to ignore him.
"Holly!" Artemis called out behind her. "This is not the way you reacted an hour ago. You told me....you told me you were happy."
"A lot of things can change in an hour, Artemis," Holly replied scathingly, her heart tearing itself to pieces.
Artemis spun her around, a desperate look in his eye. "Sometimes I really don't understand you, Holly."
"Then don't!" Holly retorted, whirling back and continuing to walk. She felt Artemis grab her arm from behind.
"I came this far, Holly, because I believed what you said. I thought we could have something together, but...are you telling me now that whatever you said were complete lies?" Artemis said angrily.
"No!" Holly replied, wishing Artemis would just let go.
"Then what, Holly....? One minute you act like you love me, and another minute you can't wait to get away from me."
"Who said I loved you?" Holly exclaimed, feeling tears springing to her eyes, although she wasn't sure why.
Artemis dropped her arm and stared at her. "You don't?" he said dumbly.
"That's your own petty assumption, not mine," Holly retorted, biting her lip to keep from crying. This was the way it had to be.
"I don't believe you," Artemis said quietly, frowning.
"Whatever," Holly said, turning away from him.
"That's not even a proper explanation, Holly!" Artemis said angrily, spinning her around again. "Why won't you let yourself love me?"
"Because I don't even know who I am anymore!" Holly shouted, her bottled-up feelings spilling over. "One minute I'm....I'm perfectly fine, and then the next I find myself blowing half the world up....! And hurting everyone....hurting you! I don't want that to happen! I'm dangerous, I'm crazy, I'm not even Holly Short anymore...!" Holly choked, tears slipping out of her eyes.
"Holly, I didn't say you were the one who caused all this --" Artemis tried to comfort her but she cut him off.
"Oh, bull! Do you think I was born yesterday?! It's not hard to figure out who's the one doing a widespread massacre if I'm the only one who can hardly remember anything about it, just fragments of memories all cluttered together!"
Artemis slipped an arm around the shaking Holly, who pushed it away.
"Just....just go and find somebody else," Holly said, feeling defeated.
"Holly. When you heard me say those words up there, I meant it. And once I do a declaration of love, I never take it back," Artemis said incredulously.
"When did you grow to become such a mushy wimp," Holly retorted, relentless in her drive to chase Artemis away. She would have to do this so that both of them would carry on with a life of normalcy.
"Wimp?" Artemis said softly. Holly could hear the hurt in his voice. "I shelved my pride to say those words and that's all you can say about them?"
Holly looked into his eyes with furious tears in her own. "What do you want me to say then, huh?" she challenged.
"That you love me! That you're going to be so happy," Artemis retorted.
"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard," Holly said, pushing him away. "Don't you realise that this...this thing called love between us cannot be possible? Let me remind you that we're barely even of the same species! Things will never be the same again!"
"So? Being of different species does not alter our personalities! And I had no idea you placed so much emphasis on what people thought about you!" Artemis said furiously, letting go of her.
"Well, some people don't have your arrogant self-confidence! I got this far in the LEP because I worked hard for it, and I'm not going to let petty gossip or prejudices get in the way!" Holly retorted.
"You know what? You're right," Artemis said coldly, icy emotions evident in his eyes. "Don't let me disturb your pathetically perfect and successful life then," he spat derisively, standing up and walking away, his back towards hers.
"I'm glad you're going away!" she screamed after him, more tears falling freely down her face now that her mission was complete. This way, they could both go on with perfectly normal lives, without tongues wagging. Yet, in all her years of training, nothing had ever been harder than untangling the complicated matters of the heart.
Holly gathered her thin legs against her chest protectively and closed her eyes, allowing the silent tension of the night to diffuse into her, the punishing spirit of her heart whipping her furiously for letting Artemis go. As she replayed the scene in the compact movie theatre of her mind, she wept bitterly as the world she now lived in threatened to consume her. The foolish act on her part caused her life to be shrouded in interminable darkness as the light, which would have helped to chase the darkness away, turned on her and walked out of her life.
Holly....Holly....why are you crying? a voice piped up.
"Leave me alone, Father, haven't you done enough damage?" Holly sobbed.
Let me help you...let me help you...
"I hate you! I'm never going to listen to you again! You caused so much misery in so many people's lives! Show yourself, don't be a coward! Show your daughter what a unscrupulous piece of vermin you've become!" Holly challenged furiously, tears blinding her vision.
A shimmering aura surrounded Holly, and her eyes widened to take in the sight.
You want to see me, Holly? Come...come with me....
"No!" Holly exclaimed, trying to run out of the shimmering aura, which now formed a barricade around her. She used her hands to push against it and promptly felt her hands getting an electric shock, the jolting pain of electricity shooting throughout her entire system before her whole body was thrown backwards and flung back into the iridescent prison, which was now a beautiful colour of gold. Ironically, it did nothing to warn others what a jail it really was.
Hahahahahaha! I've got you now!
An evil laugh rang incessantly in Holly's ears and Holly moaned as she collapsed to the ground, the laugh echoing eerily in her brain.
"Leave me alone...leave me alone..." Holly groaned, feeling a darkness overwhelm her, and her eyes shifting in and out of focus as she valiantly tried to register the sights before her. She had to fight. She had to fight, like Artemis said. Why she was thinking of Artemis again, Holly didn't know. It was getting stiflingly hot, and Holly felt choked.
Be a good daughter, Holly....understand the rules of filial piety....come with me, Holly, don't fight me now....
"Father....oh Father..." Holly babbled, not even aware of what she was saying. She could feel her hands trembling violently as they tried to keep a hold on the ground below her, trying to get a hold on reality. Her head felt like it would burst open, as if it were being cooked in a pressure cooker as her father slowly waited for her brain to explode.
I'm not giving up, Holly...! We're so close now, we can take over the world!
"Do it...do it yourself....!" Holly shrieked, feeling her father breaking the walls of defence around her. Her will was crumbling to his, and her eyes felt like rolling marbles in a sea of colours that rocked violently around her. Why wasn't the sea stopping? Holly thought for a while before realising that it wasn't the sea, but her confused eyes that took in the sight of the ground lurching up and down, sending her stomach churning in nausea as she fought to stay in control of her own mind. There were so many colours, not in their right place. The world seemed to be spinning too fast as Holly felt dizzy again.
I'm bringing you with me, Holly, and no one will find us! I'm bringing you away from here! No one will stop us anymore! We will be invincible! Hahahaha! The LEP will no longer be in charge of the fairy world, but me! Me and only me! And soon....the Mud People will be ours!
"Father...Father....you are crazy..." Holly shrieked, feeling her body and spirit succumbing to her father's will. "Wh-when did you b-become s-so fanatical?" she stammered as she fought to stay in control. The colours of the world threatened to consume her again, and Holly gulped.
"Leave the Mud People alone," Holly whispered. "Leave them alone...leave them alone..." she whispered again.
Mud People....Artemis...she thought, jumbled thoughts clashing against each other in her brain.
This world will be ours! Holly's father was relentless in his ambitions. This world will revere me! Follow me, Holly!
"I have to...have to...g-get out..." Holly said, her head spinning as she pushed against the golden wall and yelled in pain when electricity jolted her senses and threw her back.
No, Holly! We are one! Forever...! Hahahaha!
"One...forever..." Holly said weakly, shutting her eyes and letting an image of her father float before her. "One...forever..."
That's right...don't fight me now, Holly...
"Oh, Father..." Holly whispered, collapsing to the ground, her cheeks feeling the grittiness of the soil that made up Tara's ground.
Come on, Holly... her father's voice tempted.
It would be so easy to give in...
"I'm coming...I'm coming, Father..." Holly whispered, her grip on reality loosening as she stopped fighting against her father's control.
That's right....that's right... the greedy voice sang like pleasing music to her ears.
"Artemis," Holly babbled nonsensically, having absolutely no control over her memories or emotions anymore, as her consciousness began to jump back and forth in confusion while her father overpowered her. "Artemis....I'm so sorry, Artemis..." she whispered, as if he could hear her. "Save me, Artemis, save me."
What are you talking about, girl? Come here already!
"Yes, Father, yes, Father," she murmured, and her shaking body went still. A gust of wind blew over her before she stood up in the golden cell moments later, an outlandishly wicked smile lighting up her face.
"What are we going to do today?" Holly said robotically, as the golden cell formed a dome above her head and whisked her off into the night air.
~*~
(Artemis' point of view)
Artemis had had some pretty bad nights in which he couldn't sleep, but this had to be the worst. He had never been so insulted in his life before, and obviously, that was what was keeping him up. He relived the scene again, and the fact that he had saved Holly from further destruction and her own downfall only heightened the agony that he had experienced when she handed him rejection.
Doesn't she understand that I was serious? Artemis thought, frowning, trying to understand why Holly had been so willing to kiss him once, and then furiously chided him the next.
If one person needs to check her emotions, it's her, not me, he thought angrily, resisting the temptation to pound his pillows like an immature child. He had given a piece of his heart away to her when he said that he loved her, and what had she done with it? Ruthlessly crushed it under her petite foot and flung it back to him, still bleeding. How cruel could Holly get? Then again, he had made his confession when she seemed to be half-herself, so how much could she have trusted what he said?
You're supposed to be supporting me, not Holly, he thought bitterly as he answered his sub-conscience.
And Artemis almost hated himself for letting her do that to him. He should have known that people aside from himself and the Fowl family were not to be trusted, and even then, how much did Butler know about his deepest, darkest secrets? He was his own best friend, and although it got lonely at times, at least he could protect himself from getting hurt. Then when he felt the urge to make friends, he just had to trust the one person who would most definitely take his heart, rip it out still alive and beating, stab it callously with a knife and throw it across a hundred football fields before handing it back to him. How could people expect him to love unconditionally now, when the one girl he had given his heart to threw it back in his face all bruised and battered?
Artemis realised that Holly had all along been making a fool out of him, and it made him feel more foolish than ever. Not only had he been reduced to an idiot who climbed gondolas to save the love of his life, but he had stupidly shelved his own pride - the only thing that would have saved him from being hurt - and proclaimed his love for Holly like a mushy, blabbering idiot on the verge of death. That's what she had called him. Mushy!
In addition, Artemis almost cringed when he thought of what he had told Butler about not being able to live without Holly and how he had emerged like a raving lunatic in front of Root, unable to keep his emotions in check because of Holly. He had even let Trouble punch him! How many people could take that lying down?
Artemis really felt the need to punch the living daylights out of a certain girl for fooling him in so many ways - so much so that he had lost his own identity. It seemed like it wasn't Holly who had a case of not knowing who she really was, but him too. After experiencing what he would call a disastrous affair of love, he had completely lost his head.
I'm never going to speak to her again, Artemis thought, his broken heart throbbing in agreement. It's an utterly childish act but if Holly wants to be childish, so can I. I'm so angry with her I can scarcely keep from killing her.
I can never trust another person again.
~*~
"Fowl boy! Open up the D'Arvitin' door!" Root yelled outside his door.
"Go away," Artemis moaned, trying to get whatever little sleep he rightfully deserved after some painstaking musings about Holly. He had not fully recovered, and was not ready to face the world. Was this really the Mud Boy who knew how to stay calm in the face of adversity? Not anymore.
"What's up with you?" Root continued to yell relentlessly. "Did you take drugs or something? You sound like you're stoned."
"Now I wonder how you knew that word. Let's see - Root grew a brain! Now that amazes me," Artemis shouted back sarcastically as he got out of bed, sunlight hitting him in the eyes. He looked into the mirror.
"Hello Mr. I'm-Too-Cool-To-Let-Anything-Faze-Me," Artemis greeted his reflection, a hideous sight of eye-bags today. "You're not so calm anymore, Artemis," Artemis told his reflection disgustedly, sighing. Running a hand through his hair, he yanked the door open to come face-to-face with a fuming Root.
"Do you drink alcohol every morning or is your face always that red?" Artemis greeted Root.
"Since I need your help I'll let that little jeer towards my ego slide," Root retorted.
"Root, asking me for help? Must be desperate."
"Fowl, I'm warning you," Root said threateningly. "Unless you improve your D'Arvitin' attitude you're not going to get anywhere."
"Tut tut, watch the language, Commander, I'm just a seventeen-year-old kid."
"If you would listen to me without any comments, then maybe I won't lose my patience and fling you out of the nearest window," Root spat.
"Sorry, just not in a very good mood," Artemis replied.
"Aren't you always," Root sneered.
"What do you need me to help you with?" Artemis asked, ignoring the comment.
"Yeah. Just one thing. You seen Holly anywhere?" Root asked.
The question hit Artemis like a block of stone, and his features hardened upon hearing them. Wrinkling his face into a menacing scowl, his eyes registered a mix of emotion before he replied coldly, "What's wrong with her now, has she got herself killed? I should be delighted to hear so."
"Now, now, where's the love and concern for your friends?" Root said sarcastically. "Just a day ago you were screaming my door down to help Holly."
"Shut up," Artemis said icily, a full-blown temper seeming imminent, ironical as it may be.
"Where are your manners, Fowl? I was just asking you if you knew where she was," Root said.
"Well, I don't know where she is, and I don't care," Artemis replied, narrowing his eyes. It was just like Root to rekindle his anger for Holly. "She's probably off in Trouble's room sobbing her heart out," he said scathingly, as jealousy towards Trouble bubbled merrily in his heart, adding another ingredient to the already boiling cauldron of Artemis' heart.
"Well, what do you know, maybe she is, I've seen the two together, quite a good match, eh?" Root grinned.
Artemis longed to knock that grin off Root's face, as his blue eyes became freezing counterparts of ice. If only Root knew.
"Actually, I find Holly and Trouble make an exceedingly boring couple," Artemis replied, his simmering rage heightening just a little as he thought of the two together. "I hope they never grow old together. Their friends would be bored to death watching a marriage with no sparks."
"No sparks?! Geez, you must be crazy! Trouble and Holly have got the recipe for fireworks!" Root said.
"You don't know anything then," Artemis said through gritted teeth, his temper barely within his control.
"Like you're an expert on love yourself," Root replied.
That petty remark was almost enough to send Artemis over the edge. He balled his hands into fists, ready to beat the living daylights out of Commander Root, as if he could. But his anger made him feel like trying anyway. Just as his anger reached its peak, Root dropped the bombshell.
"But the problem is, she's not in Trouble's room," Root mused. "In fact, she's not in the hotel at all."
"She's not?" Artemis questioned, a hint of concern in his voice. But just a hint.
Root fixed Artemis with a serious glare. "Holly..." he hesitated. "Holly didn't come back last night."
The news came crashing down on Artemis like a meteor. "What?" he asked, his voice barely audible.
"I've been asking the receptionist....but she said she only saw you storming in, but not Holly," Root explained. "And she was on duty all night."
Holly's left. She doesn't want you anymore. You have no chance to make it up to her, Artemis thought to himself, numb with shock.
What do you mean, make it up with her?! Just last night you were all out to ignore her!
Yet, all Artemis thought about was, Holly's gone.
"Holly's gone," he said, repeating his thoughts. "She's gone."
"Yeah, I know, D'Arvit!" Root yelled. "You're acting like a dumb fool again."
"Where can we find her, damn it!" Artemis shouted, shaking Root. "Get a laptop. I'm going to contact Foaly!"
"Calm down, Fowl!" Root yelled. "We don't even have a device attached to Holly to track her movements!"
"Do you want to get Holly back or not?!"
"Of course I do, but you're being very irrational --"
"Then get a laptop before I smack you on the head with it!"
As Artemis watched Root's retreating back, he closed his eyes and made a silent wish.
Please come back, Holly. I hate sounding weak, but I need you. Let's resolve our differences. At least, at least come back to give a decent explanation so I can stop loving you.
Please.
2nd Author's Note: I know you must absolutely hate me now for putting these annoying author's notes everywhere, but just wanted to let you know that now that I'm back on a roll, the next chapter will probably be out on Monday. Or maybe even tomorrow! :)