Chapter Seventeen: Bitter Rejuvenation
(Holly's point of view)
Two years later
Year 2008
A charming smile involuntarily lit up Holly Short's features as she examined her reflection in the mirror, her eyes gently scrutinizing her auburn hair, tucked neatly behind her ears, like a secret kept safe in the deep recesses of her heart. Lowering her hazel eyes to a beautiful pendant that lay on the table, she picked it up reverently, her hands trembling with emotion as her fingers fumbled to put it on.
This had been given to her by Trouble. Her heart began to race once more, as a certain brown-haired brown-eyed individual visualised before her, and the steps he had taken to save her out of the whirlpool of depression that had been steadily sucking her in rebounded around her head.
Yes, she had to admit, she had fallen for him. For it was hard not to, being that he was a steady rock for her to latch onto while she struggled through the stormy weathers of her heart. She had loved the way he provided her with a sense of stability, unlike the disappearing Artemis she hardly spoke of now, even though Artemis had provided her with more romance in ways Trouble could never dream of achieving.
She had loved the way Trouble would place her eyes on her, giving her a sound comfort from within. The way he would hold her with his warm embrace whenever she woke up in a cold sweat from a haunting dream about the blue-eyed Artemis, the self-confident genius who had come into her life, changed it for the better, but left so soon.
Holly's heart gave a slightly wrenching pang as the memory of the dark-haired blue-eyed individual resided in her head once more, tormenting her, refusing to go away until she begged her mind to end the torture. Holly forced herself to focus on the task at hand, which was to make herself look presentable for the dinner that she was having with Trouble that night. He had told her that he had something important to tell her, but Holly couldn't guess what it was, and why Trouble was being so secretive. Whatever it was, she knew she loved him, for the mere fact that he had been there for her, and she would be ready to listen to what he had to say.
You love him? her mind almost chortled. Who are you deluding?
Holly refused to answer her own almost-schizophrenic brain. It always happened at important times like these, when she was getting ready to meet Trouble, and convincing herself that she loved him. Then her brain would kick into annoyance mode and irritate her until she had to plead it to shut up. Holly smiled a wry smile. How ironic. A prisoner of her own mind.
Holly. If you love Trouble, then why haven't you forgotten Arte -
Holly cut her brain off in mid-thought. "We're not going here again, okay?" she said to herself. "I'm going to go out now, so please be a good girl and keep quiet. This is important to me. Please. I don't want you to screw anything up like you already did with Artemis, because you were the one who kept deluding me into believing that he liked me."
For your information, I belong to you. Either way, you're shifting the blame on yourself.
Holly fumed silently, refused to answer, and tuned her thoughts out, as if she turned it off with a knob on a radio. She stepped out of her house, took a deep breath of Underground air to wish herself luck, and walked towards her destination, that would determine her destiny.
~*~
"This is a - a very fancy place you've brought me," Holly said, looking around her, a warm smile lighting up her features.
Trouble chuckled. "You've truly transformed, Holly. I'm proud of you."
Holly's eyes widened with curiosity. "Transformed? What do you mean?"
"Just a year ago you wouldn't even smile."
Holly smiled wryly at the memory of her depression. "Well, now I am. Your efforts have paid off. How much do I have to pay you for helping me back into my normal state?"
Trouble laughed quietly at Holly's comment. "You already have, Holly. You've given me your heart."
To her immense surprise, Holly found herself shuddering slightly at that gushy comment. She had never been used to it, and never would be. Strange how only Artemis knew that. His words of sarcasm were meant to be ambiguous in that way.
What's wrong with you? she berated herself mentally. Shuddering at Trouble's affection towards you, and suddenly thinking about Artemis again? Have you gone insane?
Trouble noticed her shiver, and a concerned look immediately etched out on his face. "What's wrong, Holly...? Are you cold?"
"Oh, no, no, it's nothing," she said quickly, plastering a fake smile on her face as she shoved her crazy thoughts into the back of her head just as quickly, as if Trouble could read them. She picked up her hot cup of tea and gulped it down, trying to pretend as if everything were normal, and ignoring the searing pain down her throat as the hot tea burned the area inside her mouth. She mentally kicked herself for being so foolish.
Trouble raised an eyebrow. "Holly. You just drank a cup of piping hot tea in one go."
"I know."
"That's...strange."
Holly tried a laugh. It sounded fake. "Yes, it is, isn't it? But I've been wanting to try that for ages. I heard it builds up your stamina." She beamed.
Trouble frowned a bit more. "O-Okay," he said hesitantly, and resumed eating. Holly wondered why she was acting so weird. The thoughts about Artemis must have sent her all un-Holly-like.
Then stop thinking about him, you've gotten over him, you've actually got a future with Trouble ahead of you!
"Holly," Trouble said as he put down his fork, "There's something I've been wanting to tell you."
Holly kept very still and paid attention, finally having won the inner battle within her head. The Artemis defender had been knocked out. For the time being.
Trouble fidgeted with his napkin. "You see, it's like this," Trouble's voice quavered.
Holly began to worry. Trouble's voice only quavered when bad news was pouring forth. Was he about to break up with her?
No.....No! I won't allow it! Just now he was just saying how proud he was of me! I won't be able to stand another rejection.
"We've known each other for a considerable amount of time..."
....And I feel that you're not the right one for me, Holly completed sadly.
"And I was wondering, will you marry me? I do love you very much!"
What a drastic turn of events! The unexpected news hit Holly like a bombshell. Out of shock, she almost fell over backwards in her chair, and her heart stopped for a moment as she managed to squeak, "What?"
Trouble was taken aback. "What do you mean, what? You're supposed to say yes or no!"
Holly's hazel eyes seemed to desperately search for something as she roamed his body critically, looking into his own brown eyes, wanting to know if this was all a joke.
Please don't tell me you're doing this, Holly. I thought you loved him. You should be jumping for joy! her mind cried.
So why do I feel so hesitant to accept? Holly pondered.
"I..." Holly began, unsure.
"Go on..." Trouble said, looking panic-stricken by now, not sure whether he was going to suffer the greatest rejection of his life, not only injuring his heart but ultimately also his self-confidence, or the greatest joy he would ever experience.
Holly shut her eyes and thought for a minute. The 'yes' was on the tip of her tongue now, but something was holding her back. Just that little something.
Artemis, she found herself thinking, and it was all she would ever think about for that space of a minute.
That dark-haired individual with eyes of surreal blue. Baring his soul to the world, baring the side of humanity carefully hidden under layers of self-conceited arrogance and intelligent sarcasm. She had known him in his purest form, the Artemis who could feel and have emotions and experience sentimental attachments to people, the Artemis carefully hidden from the prying eyes of the cruel world. Together, they had discovered the whole new side to themselves, the meaning of friendship, the meaning of sacrifice, the meaning of true love. That love had been exchanged between them whenever they spoke to one another. Artemis did not need to use words of gushy affection to express it for her. He had just carefully hidden it under his teasing remarks to her, waiting for her to uncover it, and then wait for her to pour back a little of her own love in her comeback remarks.
People would say it was strange, but Holly treasured it like no other. It was like their very own secret. And with every word, came a new discovery of love to uncover. To her, it had been tremendously exciting and freshly innovative. While Trouble provided the sense of stability, Artemis provided that wildly new and original side to love unexplored by human or fairy hands before. Just the most subtle of touches from him made her melt. Just a sarcastic remark her way made her tingle. It was all so different, and Artemis was the missing jigsaw piece to her life. Not Trouble. Not Riley. Not her father. Not her mother. It was that blue-eyed, dark-haired individual who brought more colour into her bleak life and made her want to change.
That's enough! Holly berated herself. Stop thinking about Artemis. All that love you thought you knew, was a lie. Get over it.
Let it go, her brain insisted. It's over.
Let it go. Let it go. Let it go, her brain repeated.
Let it go.
Holly took a deep breath before she made her answer, the image of Artemis swimming about in her mind. She saw it in her head once more. For a moment, she felt a fragile hope stir within her, that one day, she would meet her again and accept her.
But then Trouble's words floated back into her mind. "He's a snake." The words, so vehement and brutally honest, were successful in piercing the barrier through her heart and made her realise, there was no more hope to reconcile with this man. So what was the use of lamenting lost love between them?
She thought of Artemis one last time, for luck, before she moved on. Then filing the picture away into the back of her brain, she glanced into Trouble's hope-filled eyes, felt a similar hope shine for her, and whispered, "Yes. I will marry you."
It was the best decision of her life.
~*~
Four years into marriage
Year 2012
A year before the present
Early afternoon, when LEP officers are in bed
"Mummy! Mummy!" A shrill voice broke through the sweet reverie of the early afternoon, and Holly's eyes fluttered open to reveal a hyperactive three-year-old bouncing on her bed, similar hazel eyes gazing into hers, a smile plastered onto her face.
"Ophelia!" she replied as enthusiastically, even though being woken up in the middle of a deep sleep (something she needed most when her working hours were rather long) was rather annoying.
"I've had the most wonderful dream!" her daughter exclaimed, and Holly sat up, eager to listen.
Halfway through, Holly began reflecting. Life had painted such a sweet picture for her, and since she had married Trouble, bliss had never been so gratifying. Holly kept finding herself awakening to a new dusk (since they work at night) with hope and desire. Trouble took very good care of her, and not a single day went by with her regretting the decision she had made.
I knew he'd be able to fulfil the responsibility Artemis left behind, she thought satisfyingly, glancing over at her husband who lay softly snoring in bed whilst Ophelia continued her enchanting story about her dream.
"What's a Mud Boy, Mummy?" Ophelia broke into her thoughts and asked inquisitively, looking up at her with immense curiosity.
Mud Boy. Mud Boy. Her brain taunted her, an image of a dark-haired individual taking place in her mind. She tried valiantly to shake it off.
"Why-why do you ask, sweetie?" she stammered, trying a warm smile, brushing a strand of hair from Ophelia's face. Suddenly a barrage of memories hit her like falling hailstones.
A slow grin spread lazily over Artemis' face as he used his fingertips to ever so slightly whisk away a strand of hair out of Holly's eyes. The gesture alone was enough to make Holly's heart beat so fast within her ribcage that if it went any quicker, it would explode into nothingness.
Artemis smiled and allowed himself to embrace her in his arms. He regarded her with soft blue eyes that sent shivers down her spine.
As the ground shook threateningly again, Holly dropped her strong facade and screamed, "Don't let go!"
To which Artemis replied seriously, "I won't." A flicker of warmth was reminiscent in his icy blue eyes before it died out again, and Holly wondered if she would ever get the chance to reconcile with Artemis.
"The man in the dream told me he was a Mud Boy," the voice jolted her back to reality, and Holly suddenly felt ashamed of herself. She felt ashamed that everything she did still reminded her of Artemis. Every subtle hint brought back memories. She should be over it. She was married, for D'Arvit's sake. But she wasn't over him. Not yet. Not ever. Even if he was forgiven, he would not be forgotten.
"Oh," Holly said softly, and began an explanation. "Well, let's see. A Mud Boy refers to the people who live aboveground. The scientific term for them is 'human being'. You see, Ophelia, we live Underground. Years ago we had a war with the humans, and were forced to live down here."
"Why would they do something like that?" Ophelia asked with the naivety of a three-year-old. "The Mud Boy seemed so nice."
Holly tried to smile as memories of Artemis overwhelmed her again. "And what did the Mud Boy say?"
"He told me he was coming soon. He told me the two species were going to be reunited. And then he sent me lots and lots of butterflies. It was beautiful!" Ophelia squealed.
Holly chuckled, the child in her rejuvenated. How nice it would be if she were to be a child again - without a care in the world, being fascinated by simple things like dreams which had butterflies in it, not bothered by the differences between people. Innocence was such a precious virtue, a precious character trait. Shame we all had to lose it when we grew up, the stubborn adulthood in us ravaging our body and making us more cynical, thought Holly.
Trouble stirred beside her. "Awake already?" he mumbled, his voice hoarse with sleep.
"Ophelia decided to be the alarm clock today," Holly said dryly, earning a small giggle from Ophelia.
"It's going to be evening soon. Shall I prepare some food?" Holly asked.
"What a dutiful housewife," Trouble said sarcastically, and Holly smacked him lightly on the shoulder before getting out of bed, Ophelia trailing childishly after her.
Holly yawned as she started the fire to fry some oglop eggs. Oglops were nasty creatures Underground, and looked a little like ladybugs. Just that they were about the size of a chicken, and were annoying pests which fed on any kind of groceries they found. They were only useful in the sense that they laid eggs which made for a tasty dish. The People were all too happy to slaughter them for this very use. Poor oglop souls.
"Mummy, can I help?" Ophelia called out behind her, and Holly turned around nervously. Ophelia's idea of help was struggling to lift the heavy pan used for cooking off the ground, but to no avail as it crashed to the floor and collected dirt, before proceeding to break all the oglop eggs as she passed them to Holly. Normal things a clumsy three-year-old did actually, but right now, Holly wasn't in the mood to clean up after a clumsy three-year-old.
"Er....Ophelia, maybe you could help by cleaning the house a bit," Holly said. "Just...just be very careful, and don't break anything, okay?"
"Okay!" Ophelia cried excitedly, and ran off to sort the bookshelves. Holly chuckled. That was where Ophelia always started. She knew the pattern now. After five minutes of 'cleaning' the bookshelves, Ophelia would soon be absorbed in a children's book she would find on the bookshelf. Sometimes Holly wondered whether she would be looking at the pictures in it or she was really reading the big words imprinted on the book.
"Mummy....this book's got no cover!" Ophelia yelled.
"Well then, leave it alone. Sometimes books have no covers because we've lost them."
"The words are so small too. Hey, it's Daddy's book!" Ophelia squealed. "There's his name on it."
"Mm-hmm," Holly said, not paying attention and busy frying oglop eggs.
"Will you read it to me, Mummy?"
"I'm busy, Ophelia. Ask Daddy to read it for you. It's his book anyway."
"Okay," Ophelia replied obediently, and ran into the room where Trouble was sleeping. But by now, he was already up and awake, and changing into more casual clothes.
Holly turned off the stove, and set the oglop eggs aside. She heard the conversation between Ophelia and Trouble begin.
An excited squeal. "Daddy! Read the story to me!"
Pause.
A dangerous hissing whisper started. "Where did you get this book from?"
"You left it on the bookshelf, Daddy."
The voice is raised. "Give it to me!"
A shocked voice quavers. "But - why - ? Daddy -"
The voice is angry now. "I said, give it to me!"
A frightened voice replies. "Don't shout, Daddy..."
"GIVE IT TO ME!" Sounds of someone wrenching a book from a person's grip are heard. A shocked cry resounds around the room, before they burst into noisy tears.
"Ouch! You hurt my arm, Daddy!"
The loud voice booms furiously. "Never touch my things again!"
"I - I didn't know - !" The voice hiccups noisily.
Holly burst into the room. "What's going on?" she said anxiously, her eyes registering the tear-streaked face of Ophelia's and the livid face of Trouble's.
Trouble tucked the black book under his arm and strode out of the room furiously, without a word. Holly glared furiously behind his back, before attending to Ophelia, whom she was fiercely protective of.
"Why did Daddy shout at me and pull the book from my hand?" Ophelia sobbed.
She hugged Ophelia comfortingly. "It's all right, Ophelia. Daddy was just mad because you took his book without permission."
"I didn't know, Mummy!" Ophelia hiccuped. "I really didn't know!"
"I know, Ophelia. I know."
Holly thought about it for a minute. Trouble was hiding something, and she'd be damned if she didn't find it out. What kind of a dark secret could cause him to turn upon his own daughter and scream his wits out at her? What could be in the book? Holly felt the strong determination to find out overpower her senses completely, and it was all she ever thought about in the moments to follow.
~*~
A week later
Early morning
It had been a week, and still Holly hadn't found out about it. By now, the suspense was killing her. The contents of the book were like a forbidden fruit, tempting her to find them, to quench her thirst of uncovering Trouble's secret. It haunted her dreams in the morning, and haunted her conscience in the night. Like a knife slowly drawing blood from her. Holly yearned so much to find the book and read it, that the desire was soon all she ever obsessed about.
Holly woke up this early afternoon, hoping for an opportunity to retrieve the book and read it. Two days ago, she had seen Trouble lock it in a drawer by his bedside, when he had thought that she had been sleeping, and hidden the key under the bed. Now it seemed to beckon her as Trouble's snores filled the air around her, and Holly crept stealthily out of bed, stealing gently over to Trouble's side. The drawer was so close to his bedside that it would have been murder to try and open it without waking him up. But you never knew. Trouble was a very deep sleeper.
Just at that moment, the heavens seemed to be helping her as Trouble rolled on his other side, his back facing her. Telling herself to calm down, she fumbled around under the bed for any sign of a golden key. She almost recoiled in horror at the years' amount of grime and dust under there, and promised herself to do a thorough clean-up tomorrow. Today, the important thing was finding the key.
Trouble suddenly turned back to face her, and as the bed heaved under his weight, Holly had to stop herself from jumping in shock. She scrutinized him for a minute, but his eyes remained closed. Her heart was beating erratically at the fact that Trouble could wake up any moment, and she would be dead meat. She knew she was crazy to not wait for a safer opportunity to get the book, but the suspense was too harsh for her to bear. She wanted to find out the secret now, and not any other time.
Bingo! she thought happily as her fingers closed around an object that was shaped suspiciously like a key. She brought it out reverently, and checked on Trouble to make sure he was still asleep. She felt like such a snake by sneaking behind Trouble's back and uncovering his secret when they should have been a proper couple who confided in each other and didn't go sneaking behind the other person's back, but Holly debated that if Trouble wasn't going to tell anyone his secret, she should have a right to find out about it. She was his wife, after all! And so she felt better.
Fingers stiff with fear, Holly inserted the key into the lock and tried to turn it, but the key wouldn't budge. Holly could almost die with anxiety as she struggled valiantly to turn it, afraid at the same time that Trouble would wake up and catch her in the act. Holly decided that it must be some special lock.
She tried a couple more of attempts, trying to turn it this way and that, even saying a spell to open the drawer, but to no avail. Feeling defeated, she wrenched the key out of the lock and sighed. She almost cast a scowl at Trouble's sleeping form for making things so difficult.
Suddenly Holly got an inspiration. Maybe the lock was like a combination lock. You had to turn it around in a particular direction before the drawer would open. Holly's heart boiled over with relief. Then maybe, once it had been turned in the right direction, the key could be inserted inside and the drawer would be unlocked!
Flushed with success, Holly's fingers barely touched the outer rim of the normal-looking lock before she turned it nine times counter-clockwise, then seven times clockwise. It failed, but Holly was relentless in her efforts.
By the thirteenth try, Holly's head was positively spinning and her heart was void of hope, but after inserting the key inside and turning it, she heard a 'click', and could almost kiss the drawer in gratitude.
With shaking hands, Holly pulled open the drawer. The contents of the drawer were amazingly messy.
Jewellery boxes, watches, papers, folders, and the like. Holly rummaged around frantically for the book, pushing aside documents and even digging at the back of the drawer for the book. Her fingers closed upon a thick envelope, and she pulled it out excitedly. It was sealed. Holly opened it reverently, and a black book fell out. THE book. It lay there silently on her lap, once again beckoning her to read it. It seemed to be a journal. Clutching the tempting book with shaking hands, she brought it over to her bedside where she sat down and opened the book.
The front page said:
"This book belongs to Trouble. Private and Confidential."
Holly flipped to the second page. No day, no date, no year. Just words. Private thoughts.
"I can't believe what I'm thinking. I looked at Holly Short at work today and thought she was beautiful. I haven't felt this way before. Am I in love with her?"
Holly read on, fascinated. In it chronicled Trouble's feelings for Holly throughout the whole journey, and she felt a strange warm feeling crawl its way to her heart. She was three-quarters through the book when the entries suddenly stopped, leaving a whole lot of blank pages. Holly flipped through a few more pages, but found nothing. She shrugged to herself, and wondered why Trouble wanted to keep such a book from her. There was nothing wrong with it. Holly thought Trouble was rather silly to keep such a book from her and Ophelia. It was pretty romantic, in a way, why did he have to keep it a secret? Maybe he was embarrassed of my reaction if I read it. Shaking her head and smiling, she was about to close the book when something caught her eye.
"DIE, ARTEMIS, DIE."
Holly thought she was hallucinating. The words appeared on the last few pages of the black book, which she did not come across since there were a whole lot of blank pages before it, and she flipped back frantically, shocked at what had been written.
There it was. She saw it again. Written in bold, black ink, underlined to emphasize the hatred.
"DIE, ARTEMIS, DIE."
Trouble's handwriting became a messy scrawl at this point, as compared to his neat handwriting before that. It appeared as if he had lost his sanity.
Holly found it hard to read the words that came after that sentence. He seemed to be scribbling frantically, as if in a bid to get everything out of his head before he lost track of it. Holly found her heart sinking and her eyes widening in disbelief as she read on. The wounds in her heart re-opened as her eyes absorbed the words on the pages beneath her. She gasped involuntarily as she read Trouble's words, her hand flying up to her mouth in incredulity. She knew who had been wrong all this while. It was all here, in black and white. She couldn't believe it. It was too horrible to contemplate. She was in love with a villain. She was in love with a monster.
Suddenly a shadow loomed over her as a voice behind her screamed, "I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH MY THINGS!"
Holly whirled around, shocked.
It was Trouble!
Author's Note: Woooo! I'm back! Miss me much? Haha...
Idria:
Certainly, you posed some very interesting questions, and I would like to answer them for you:
1) First. About Holly kissing Trouble. I am very much aware that it is out-of-character, which is precisely the whole point. She was so depressed that she wasn't herself anymore. I actually got the inspiration from watching a TV serial, in which this woman was so morbidly depressed that she didn't even know what she was doing. Maybe I didn't bring out that point clearly enough. Maybe it was too subtle.
2) Then, about Holly crying. Holly's not angry, actually. She's actually disappointed. She put so much of her hope and trust on Artemis, and leaving her behind like that just crushed all her self-confidence. In a way, she is a little angry, but more disappointed. She thought something could've worked out between the two of them. Secondly, I don't really think crying is out-of-character for Holly Short. In my opinion, she's got her own emotions and feelings too, and even the strongest facade can't hide that. I tried to give her a more sentimental side in this story - about her cherishing her relationship with her father that she can't believe he would use her like that.
3) Yep, I know things may get confusing at times. I always put the names of the locations before I begin the paragraph to try and keep readers on track. Looks like it didn't work out. Now I know how to improve my next story, so thank you.
4) Blue Yeti brought out that point too. I know most people would feel that Holly and Artemis isn't a very good relationship to put both characters into, and I conveniently overlooked the differences between the two. I'm just trying to bring out a romance which doesn't emphasize on the obvious differences between them. A little unrealistic, yes, I've realised that now. Although I'm an avid Holly/Artemis fan, this will probably be the only Holly/Artemis fic I do, since lots of readers don't really appeal to it much. But that's okay. In my other fic, in which I made fun of a Mary Sue, someone reviewed, 'What kind of a FREAK are you?', so that goes to show how weird my ideas may be. :) Incidentally, I found that comment tremendously amusing. She must have been a Mary Sue supporter. They can be such defensive flamers at times. Keep a look out for the rest of my fics, okay? :)
flamaria13 - All right, you're really scaring me. :) I had no idea you got so agitated when writers don't update. On the contrary, I try to update as often as I can. This is why I've got 16 chapters in just a space of two months. That's roughly 8 chapters a month, which means 2 chapters per week. Isn't that fast enough for you? Most writers I know churn out only one chapter per two weeks. I'm not trying to boast, but I'm just trying to say that I perfectly understand what it's like to be left with a cliffhanger and no updates for as long as one month, because I'm a reader too. Please don't expect me to be a writing machine! *looks around timidly and hides in a corner*
By the way, I don't write for the reviews. So it's not that if I have a particular amount of reviews, like 100+, then I will write the next chapter. It's okay if you don't review me so many times, because I'm just writing as a hobby. The reviews are just an added benefit. :)
Thanks to the rest of you for reviewing!