Chapter Nineteen: The Truth Hurts

(Holly's point of view)

Holly surveyed the decorations around her house with her trained eye, her hands perched on her hips. Ophelia had been clamouring to celebrate Christmas in a fancy way ever since she had read about a Christmas party in one of her picture books. Not wanting to disappoint Ophelia, she had taken the trouble to beg the LEP higher powers to allow her to hold this party and invite her friends in the LEP over. At first she had gotten the 'no', merely because what were to happen if half the LEP wasn't working like they usually did, and if Haven was under attack? Holly had promised that there would still be officers on patrol, since she wasn't inviting everyone, and the party would break up at once if there was an emergency. Of course, she had gotten the approval then, together with a greedy offer of the two-faced LEP council also coming over to her party. Holly stopped herself in thought momentarily. Better not insult them too much. I am working for them, after all.

Celebrating Christmas this way also gave it more meaning. It made Holly think back to the old stories of the People once told, and how they had once worked and lived hand-in-hand with the Mud People, celebrating their events with them, and vice versa. When the People had been driven Underground, no one really made the effort to celebrate Christmas much anymore, seeing as it had nothing to do with them. Those adamant warrior fairies who had fought against the Mud People hated it even more, and never spoke of it completely. Aware that she was one of the few who was celebrating Christmas this way, merely to please her little daughter (and also because Christmas is a time for family), gave the whole event more significance.

Holly jumped as she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. Whirling around, she took a step back and glared furiously as her eyes registered the man standing before her. Trouble, the name serving to emphasize what a sly, scheming snake he was.

"What do you want," she spat scathingly, her eyes narrowing in a natural act of suspicion. A dark cloud of distrust had hung between them ever since she had found out the truth about him, and even though she had made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with him, he was relentless, and did not believe that she had no more affection for him. Silly, over-obsessed fool, Holly thought. Holly only accepted the act when Ophelia was around. In a way, she hated Trouble for using Ophelia as a shield. Because it was when she was around, that Trouble was allowed to touch her, to hold her, even when the very actions made her sick.

"Why the hostility, dear? We're married, after all," Trouble said, a charmingly handsome grin tugging at his features. Handsome, yes, Holly thought wistfully, but deceitfully wicked and cunning.

"After what you've done, do you really think you deserve to even say that? I don't love you anymore! What part of the message didn't you understand?" Holly spat viciously, turning her back on him.

Trouble slid up to her and snuggled against her back. Holly shuddered with disgust, and pushed him away. "Do that another time and I'll kick you where it hurts," Holly said angrily.

"Oh, feisty. I like," Trouble laughed, still as deluded as ever.

"Oh, stupid. I don't like," Holly retorted, wiping the merriment off Trouble's face. Satisfied with her comeback, she smirked at him before flouncing out of the door to welcome guests.

"Mummy, can I go and play with Ariel?" Ophelia asked, tugging at her dress. Resting her hazel eyes on Ophelia, Holly found herself smiling involuntarily. For every ounce of sadness and anger Trouble makes me feel, Ophelia makes me twice as happy, she thought to herself, which was why she still stayed together with Trouble even though she could have just left it all behind and run off into the wind, free of her troubles and regrets. If it hadn't been for Ophelia, Holly would have divorced Trouble immediately and leave his side forever. He deserved it. He deserved to be lonely. For the truth about him had re-opened the wound in her heart, leaving her with an empty and aching feeling within.

"Who's Ariel?" she inquired pleasantly.

"Ariel's my new friend," Ophelia chirped, before turning around and yelling at a girl fairy, about her age, to hurry up. Such child-like innocence made Holly wistful, and she wished she could be a child again, just so she wouldn't to worry about all her problems. But she was a grown-up now. No use reminiscing. She had to be mature.

"All right. Run along now, you may play in the garden."

Ariel and Ophelia took off excitedly as they ventured towards the garden.

Holly sighed and went back into the house. Time to entertain some guests. Unfortunately, Holly was more at ease fighting a monstrous troll with an ugly bashed-on face than faking a smile and speaking to guests in a sugary sweet voice.

~*~

(Artemis' point of view)

Artemis panted heavily as he hoisted himself up the wall, marvelling at the fact that he could actually put his limbs to such a good use, instead of keeping them rested at home, while his hands did all the exercise, forever typing away frantically at his keyboard as his eyes suffered from the time he spent on the computer. Yet, the dark blue eyes that were always so serene, still held its particular charm every time it cryptically met the eyes of another girl. Over the last seven years, because of his status and wealth, many girls had come forward with the sanguine hope of dating him, but if he went out with another girl, he would decide that it was a shame her eyes weren't hazel. Or if she happened to show a substantial amount of wit, he would lament that she still wasn't sarcastic enough. All these little factors had caused him to realise that he had not forgotten the one fairy who had started the feeling called 'affection' within him, the one with the hazel eyes and twisted sarcasm, the one he called Holly.

Those eyes, the colour of hazel, were empowering. Every time Artemis looked into them, he would be on a natural high. No drugs were needed to make him feel this way. All it took was one look into the eye of the storm, and he was hooked, craving more and more each day. But the downfall was that if those precious eyes, which had sucked him so far in, so far in that he felt like he was drowning, were taken away, withdrawal symptoms would unfortunately occur. He had suffered from those symptoms when he himself had vanished into the night, leaving the only source of comfort he had ever known and truly appreciated.

Steering his mind back to reality, Artemis sat atop the wall, trying to regain back his breath. His chest heaved up and down valiantly, his lungs screaming for air. It was always like this. Artemis was aware that he had been physically unfit before, being that he never exercised often, but ever since he had left Haven his health had taken a drastic turn for the worse. One look, and you couldn't tell something was wrong within him. But appearances were deceiving. Shaking his head to rid his mind of ominous thoughts, the searing pain in his chest started to become hardly enough to bear, and giving in to the pleading call within his tortured conscience, Artemis reached into his pocket and brought out two very important things. The two things that had kept his grip on sanity a little longer.

A cigarette and a lighter. He had never thought of smoking before he went away, but ever since he was on his own, complications arose from within him. Because of what Trouble had said, his confidence had been broken and the willpower to fight against a problem faded away. He knew that the truth in Trouble's words was irreversible, and he wasn't going to waste his time fighting it, which would only result in an inevitable painful defeat. His once relentless stubbornness gave way to a timorous, accepting nature. This unyielding man had finally been destroyed. In his place, was a spineless coward. Hating himself for allowing to change because of what Trouble had said, he succumbed to the begging cry in his mind, the mind which had been tainted and corrupted as an outcome of his new nature, the one who constantly wanted to escape from reality and not face up to it like a brave man. He picked up the cigarette.

Heart disease. Lung cancer, the self-righteous part of his conscience nagged. He knew of the disadvantages smoking had to offer. But the coward in him far overwhelmed what little decent principles he had left. Although the disadvantages of smoking far outweighed the advantages, he took delight in the fact that there was still that little advantage, and that was to bring him away from the cruel reality that had been so heartless in quashing every bit of optimism in him. Smoking was a way of soothing the worries and covering the hole which had been deeply punctured into his heart. His will to live was already broken. His confidence had already been wrecked. What more was there left to destroy?

Ignoring the upright plea of his conscience, and complying with the coward in him, he placed the cigarette between his lips, and flicked the lighter to light it. Taking a slow drag of the cigarette, he felt the tendrils of deathly smoke curl themselves around his lungs, choking them into further doom. He coughed, but continued to destroy his body by taking another drag of the cigarette, adamant to run away from the reality that was slowly, but surely, killing him. Either way, he would die. He was just choosing the cowardly way out.

Holly's married. Married! he thought angrily, the incipient speculation causing him to feel insanely jealous. As the cigarette hung limply from his mouth, his brain was already ready for an internal debate.

Of course she's married, did you really expect her to wait for you?! the Holly defender cried mentally. That's what you are, selfish, self-absorbed, and egotistical! You only care about yourself. You didn't even think about how Holly would feel if you left. No, you just took it into your head that leaving was the best option. Best option for you maybe, not for the rest of the world!

It's not like that and you know it! Artemis replied mentally, angrily. I thought leaving would spare her less pain, like what Trouble said. Only when I left did I realise that I should have stayed all along. How was I to know she would take it so hard?

The Holly defender refused to be put down without a fight.

Excuses, excuses. You heartless fool! Always taking matters into your own hands. When will you learn that it's going to get you killed one day? And Trouble? Since when did he have the authority to tell you what to do? Did you suddenly get disowned by your father and then got adopted by Trouble?

You don't understand, argued Artemis valiantly.

I don't understand? I'm a part of you, why shouldn't I?

Ha, thought Artemis, making a mental snort, sometimes I wonder if I'm schizophrenic.

Tuning off the other side of his conscience, Artemis focused on the task at hand - to wait for Holly. Taking another drag from the cigarette, his blue eyes roamed the area below him carefully, taking in every hidden detail - the gnarled old tree trunk; the red roses, deceptively beautiful on the outside, but slyly hiding dangerous thorns within, ready to prick the fool who relished in trying to remove them from steady ground; two girls, playing a game of hide-and-seek amidst the bushes, without a care in the world. It made Artemis feel a stab of jealousy almost, merely because he had not experienced such a sweet slice of life. Being a genius sometimes had its shortcomings. Because he was a cut above the rest, he had always displayed a level of maturity that was rarely found in the children his age. In some way, he had been forced to forgo a normal childhood and grow up fast. Loneliness had been a constant companion, and Artemis would have been fated to live his life of arrogance and solitude had it not been for Holly.

Speaking of Holly, she had arrived now. Looking at her with bated breath, he watched her speak to the two girls before she gave in to her thoughts, a slightly dazed look growing in her eyes as her hand reached out to touch the red roses lovingly, a small smile tugging at her features.

Artemis moved forward to observe her more closely, and accidentally rustled the leaves that displayed themselves before him, serving as the perfect obstruction for him to hide himself. Almost immediately, Holly's sharp sense of hearing caused her to snap back to reality like a taut rubber band. Her head shot up from where she had been looking last (which were the roses), and began on a mission to find out the source of the sound by turning this way and that. Fearful curiosity replaced the thoughtful look in those hazel eyes as Holly edged closer to the garden wall, and Artemis, feeling an obligation to rid the fairy of her morbid suspicions, began to speak.

"Fancy meeting you again, beautiful."

Holly's head jerked up towards his voice, but her eyes did not seem to register anything as she frowned and called out into the night, "Who are you?"

"Tsk, tsk, Captain Short. How could you forget?"

"Artemis?" she whispered, as if afraid to speak the name; as if afraid she was only hallucinating.

Artemis smirked and tossed his cigarette butt away. He calculated his velocity before leaping off the wall and landing on the grass.

"I knew your memory couldn't be all that bad, for weren't you the smartest Recon officer, Captain Short?" Artemis stepped out of the shadows and in front of her. "It's been years, Captain...but you still look as attractive as ever." He reached out to touch her face, but suddenly decided against it. "Oh yeah - I forgot - I should call you Mrs Kelp now, shouldn't I?" he said bitterly.

Holly seemed to cringe at the name.

"Things have changed, Artemis," Holly said simply.

"Yeah," was all Artemis said. Artemis leaned against the brick wall of the garden and merely stared at her.

"Why are you here?" Holly asked.

"I'm not supposed to be here?" Artemis countered.

"Technically, no. There's still that tension between you and the People and also because of..." Holly trailed off. It was as if somehow, she just couldn't bring herself to talk about the past. There was just too much unresolved tension.

"...Why are you here?" She repeated.

Artemis shrugged, looked at his shoes, and looked at her again. "I don't know. I presume...I kind of...missed you."

Something seemed to click in Holly's eyes as she suddenly grabbed Artemis by the hand and led him to a quiet place.

"There's been something I've been wanting to ask you, Artemis," Holly said solemnly, her hazel eyes pleading with his blue ones.

"What is it?" he asked.

Holly took a deep breath.

"I wish to be kidnapped...right away. Will you kidnap me? You had no qualms about doing it twelve years ago. Take me away," she said desperately, an urgent plea rising within her voice.

Artemis was flabbergasted. "But Holly, you're -"

"Married, I know. But I can't stand it anymore! I know everything, Artemis, you don't even have to explain. I know you came back for me. I know what Trouble did to you! Let's just leave it all behind!"

The idea was extremely tempting. Here she was, offering him the life of freedom and happiness they could both share, forgetting about the obstacles that had been placed between them by the external world. Yet Artemis found himself answering...

"No," Artemis said firmly, Root's words floating back into his head, imprinting themselves firmly in his mind. Holly could be happy now. It wasn't right to take it away from her, even if she wanted to be with him. She could never be happy with him, if he was in this destroyed state. She didn't know the complete truth. She only knew half of it. That was the real reason why he was here - not to take her away, but to tell her the other half, and let her get on with her life like she was meant to. "It's unconventional and I won't do it."

"Why not? We could go back like we used to be, we could be so happy!" Holly said, sounding frustrated.

"No, listen to me, Holly! You can't just run away like this!" Artemis cried, and brought out another cigarette, as he felt the onslaught of stress overwhelm him. It was always like this now, he got agitated so easily, and when faced with making an important decision, he always felt a need to reach for the cigarettes. He flicked the lighter and took a drag, before Holly snatched the cigarette out of his hands.

"When did you begin to smoke?!" she asked, shocked, stamping on the cigarette butt.

"That's no longer any of your business," Artemis mumbled.

"Are you rejecting me, Artemis?" Holly asked. "You're cutting me out of your life?"

"I'll tell you why I'm here, Holly. I admit, I did want to take you away at first, but it's not right. You're married now, you've found your eternal happiness, you probably even have a child, like Commander Root said."

"Yes, she's called Ophelia," Holly said softly, the aftermath of what Ophelia would feel if she left finally setting in. Guilt began to wrack her heart, and she hadn't even left with Artemis yet. Yet, Artemis didn't even want to take her with him. She found herself suddenly curious. Why? Why? Why?

"Can you really bear to leave everything you've built over the past seven years, jeopardizing your stable life just for a reckless affair with me?" Artemis challenged.

"I..." Holly found herself speechless.

Artemis gave her a sad, melancholic smile. "You see, Holly? It's not easy. The consequences will always outweigh just a moment of bliss that you wish to have."

"But I don't love Trouble," Holly said urgently. "I love...I love you."

"I would be sarcastic about that little confession right now, but seeing as you look sincere about it, I'm going to relish in it for a while," Artemis replied.

"Why are you pushing me away? I'm willing to leave with you, but why won't you accept it?" Holly asked, getting a little angry. This was a once-in-a-lifetime chance, and he was blowing it. It reminded her of how he had blown his chance with her by leaving, by believing Trouble's words, whatever he said. It reminded her of how she had been forced to take Trouble's shoulder in a moment of depression when he offered it, clinging on to the sense of stability that he gave in a way Artemis did not.

"I'm not going to take you away with me, because it defeats the purpose of why I'm here in the first place!" Artemis yelled. "I came here to settle a few things. And to tell you that I'm....I'm..."

"You're what?! Peeing in your pants because you don't have the courage to tell me whatever it is you want to say?!" Holly retorted.

Artemis shook his head sadly. "I'm going to let that little jeer towards my ego slide. Holly, I'm..."

"Hurry up because I'm losing my patience with you!"

"I'm going to die, Holly."

Author's Note: I actually didn't want to reveal the truth so fast. Originally, I intended this story to be 27 chapters long, but after re-reading what I've written, I've decided that if I were to make it any longer, even I would fall asleep writing it. Artemis was supposed to only tell Holly the truth in Chapter 25, but I'm bringing it forward because I want to start work on my other fic. The romance has also gone far enough, and if I were to add anymore it would turn out very cliched. (Incidentally, I'd like to thank Blue Yeti for enlightening me that my quotes on love were quite corny. Sometimes, it's quite hard to write about love when even I myself still retain quite a childish view of it.) It's also becoming more and more like a soap opera. [For that comment, you have Deesse-De-Lune to thank. I love your brutal honesty. :)] So, there you go. This will be shortened to a 21-chapter story. Two more chapters to go, which I will probably put up before I go on holiday. (I know cliffhangers can be so evil.) Don't forget to review, only if you have something to say of course. Sometimes I read a story and I don't know what to put in a review, so it sometimes comes out very pointless and awkward. But that's just me.

Special note for Blue Yeti: Thank you for your ever-so-lengthy reviews. [which, after I read, gets me nicely dizzy :)] Nitpicking is all right in the Artemis Fowl section because there are many writers here who still need constructive criticism and mature opinions in order to improve their story. (Me, being one of them. I mean, I need people to nitpick my story to pieces so that my next one will turn out better.) You're not entirely right about my reaction. The moment I saw your name on the review, I didn't scream and run off crying. Actually, I screamed. Then my brain split and in a crazy/demented/retarded state, I began playing Neopets to torture myself, before I started to wonder what it was that I ever did to deserve evilly long reviews from you. :)

But I'd like to congratulate you, your reviews have reached a word count of 802 words. Wow, even longer than some cliched AF fics here that I know. :) How is it that you can find so much to say? I wonder.