My head is buzzing slightly. I feel the ghost of night and shadows echoing around me, and it takes a minute for me to realize that I am in a bed. The wind whistles between the school's towers. It sounds so near that it is almost as though I have been caught up inside of the invisible force. I can almost feel the breeze blowing through my hair. There are voices all around me, hushed, whispering voices, and I would listen to what they say if my entire body didn't feel so broken.
I feign sleep for as long as I can, trying not to remember anything that happened to me only a few hours ago. I can still feel the blood on me, the beast in me. The voices stop when I shudder involuntarily, tears threatening to sneak out from the corners of my eyes.
"Miss Said? Are you awake?"
Professor Dumbledore's robes rustle together as he approaches my bed and kneels at the side. I nod slowly, pressing my lips together in an effort to keep it all in. To keep the shards of my soul from spilling out and leaving me an empty shell of torn flesh. The headmaster smiles kindly when I open my eyes for the first time, his normally vibrant blue eyes now seeming as cold and passive as the sea. Or maybe it is me who is cold and passive, unreachable to the warmth of day.
"You have had quite the night, young lady." His smile wavers slightly, as if it were a ship being capsized in a storm. "Do you remember anything about last night?"
Of course I remember.
I roll over on my stomach, despite the loud protest of my muscles, and burrow myself under the covers. Madam Pomfrey scolds Dumbledore, tells him that I am not ready to speak. That he should let me alone.
"Where's Daglash," I mumble weakly into the pillow. I hate the faint quiver in my voice, the raging flood that suddenly bursts from somewhere inside of me. "Where's Daglash?!? I want to see him! Where is he?"
The image of his broken corpse pops up in my mind, but I ignore it as I demand to see him. I roll over and glare at them, the rambled words tumbling out of my mouth quickly becoming lost beneath the screams inside of my head. Neither the headmaster nor the nurse attempts to calm me as I break down into tears.
A hand, wavering and unsure, brushes across my shoulder. Somehow, I know that it doesn't belong to the other two before I realize that it's Professor Lupin and his hand that's quickly being extracted. He doesn't look at me, his exhausted eyes staring intently at something somewhere beside me.
"I'm so very sorry. For all of this." His voice breaks slightly as he rests his head in his hands. His shoulders shake with silent sobs, each breath becoming more laboured than the one before it. I clench my jaw tightly, slowly gaining some semblance of control over my emotions.
"Where is Daglash?"
Dumbledore takes my hand in his. His skin is warm against my clammy palm. "Mr. Channing did not make it out of the forest."
"What do you mean?"
"He has moved on to the next life." He tries to smile again as my limbs begin to tremble. I shake my head, my throat suddenly tightening against the words that want to come forth.
"No. No, he can't be -- " I cup a hand over my mouth for a moment, roughly swallowing another torrent of babbled cries. "He. . . He's seventeen, he can't be idead/i."
"I'm afraid it's so, dear." Madam Pomfrey passes me a glass of water. I hold it gingerly between my hands, not quite sure what to do with it. Beads of condensation roll off of the edge, pooling in the crevice between my flesh and the glass. I look up to the three adults, a vicious sort of panic growing somewhere in the back of my mind.
"How could this happen? What was that ithing/i that attacked us?"
Dumbledore and Professor Lupin exchange a pregnant look, the latter quickly burying his face in his hands again.
"The creature in the woods last night was no ordinary beast." Professor Lupin clears his throat, a muscle popping in his jaw. "It. . . I am a werewolf."
"A werewolf?" The dark shape from the forest quickly takes form in my mind, leaping again and again at Daglash's fragile body as the monster becomes more clear. I look at the professor in horror, the full meaning of his statement hitting home like a bullet.
"It. . . that ithing last night was you?"
Lupin nods desperately, his pained eyes meeting my own. "Niranjana, I -- "
He stops abruptly as I fly at him, my fists beating against his chest wildly. He makes no attempt to defend himself in any way.
"You did this to us! You monster!" A strangled cry tears from my throat as Madam Pomfrey forces me back onto the bed.
"How could you do this to me?!? You. . . you. . . " I close my eyes again. "You raped me." The words come out as little more than a whisper and, although he didn't even try, Lupin has defeated me again. I can sense him nod beside me.
"That's not all I have done. I have cursed you as well."
I feign sleep for as long as I can, trying not to remember anything that happened to me only a few hours ago. I can still feel the blood on me, the beast in me. The voices stop when I shudder involuntarily, tears threatening to sneak out from the corners of my eyes.
"Miss Said? Are you awake?"
Professor Dumbledore's robes rustle together as he approaches my bed and kneels at the side. I nod slowly, pressing my lips together in an effort to keep it all in. To keep the shards of my soul from spilling out and leaving me an empty shell of torn flesh. The headmaster smiles kindly when I open my eyes for the first time, his normally vibrant blue eyes now seeming as cold and passive as the sea. Or maybe it is me who is cold and passive, unreachable to the warmth of day.
"You have had quite the night, young lady." His smile wavers slightly, as if it were a ship being capsized in a storm. "Do you remember anything about last night?"
Of course I remember.
I roll over on my stomach, despite the loud protest of my muscles, and burrow myself under the covers. Madam Pomfrey scolds Dumbledore, tells him that I am not ready to speak. That he should let me alone.
"Where's Daglash," I mumble weakly into the pillow. I hate the faint quiver in my voice, the raging flood that suddenly bursts from somewhere inside of me. "Where's Daglash?!? I want to see him! Where is he?"
The image of his broken corpse pops up in my mind, but I ignore it as I demand to see him. I roll over and glare at them, the rambled words tumbling out of my mouth quickly becoming lost beneath the screams inside of my head. Neither the headmaster nor the nurse attempts to calm me as I break down into tears.
A hand, wavering and unsure, brushes across my shoulder. Somehow, I know that it doesn't belong to the other two before I realize that it's Professor Lupin and his hand that's quickly being extracted. He doesn't look at me, his exhausted eyes staring intently at something somewhere beside me.
"I'm so very sorry. For all of this." His voice breaks slightly as he rests his head in his hands. His shoulders shake with silent sobs, each breath becoming more laboured than the one before it. I clench my jaw tightly, slowly gaining some semblance of control over my emotions.
"Where is Daglash?"
Dumbledore takes my hand in his. His skin is warm against my clammy palm. "Mr. Channing did not make it out of the forest."
"What do you mean?"
"He has moved on to the next life." He tries to smile again as my limbs begin to tremble. I shake my head, my throat suddenly tightening against the words that want to come forth.
"No. No, he can't be -- " I cup a hand over my mouth for a moment, roughly swallowing another torrent of babbled cries. "He. . . He's seventeen, he can't be idead/i."
"I'm afraid it's so, dear." Madam Pomfrey passes me a glass of water. I hold it gingerly between my hands, not quite sure what to do with it. Beads of condensation roll off of the edge, pooling in the crevice between my flesh and the glass. I look up to the three adults, a vicious sort of panic growing somewhere in the back of my mind.
"How could this happen? What was that ithing/i that attacked us?"
Dumbledore and Professor Lupin exchange a pregnant look, the latter quickly burying his face in his hands again.
"The creature in the woods last night was no ordinary beast." Professor Lupin clears his throat, a muscle popping in his jaw. "It. . . I am a werewolf."
"A werewolf?" The dark shape from the forest quickly takes form in my mind, leaping again and again at Daglash's fragile body as the monster becomes more clear. I look at the professor in horror, the full meaning of his statement hitting home like a bullet.
"It. . . that ithing last night was you?"
Lupin nods desperately, his pained eyes meeting my own. "Niranjana, I -- "
He stops abruptly as I fly at him, my fists beating against his chest wildly. He makes no attempt to defend himself in any way.
"You did this to us! You monster!" A strangled cry tears from my throat as Madam Pomfrey forces me back onto the bed.
"How could you do this to me?!? You. . . you. . . " I close my eyes again. "You raped me." The words come out as little more than a whisper and, although he didn't even try, Lupin has defeated me again. I can sense him nod beside me.
"That's not all I have done. I have cursed you as well."