Some Kind of Wonderful:7
A/N: Hi all. Well here, we are again. New chapter and a whole whopping 24 reviews. Thank you all for reviewing I really appreciate that. Now what else? For those of you who are worried for Spike I hope the last chapter eased your fears. Spike is Spike and nothing can keep him down and I love him so no more angst here---cept for general worry, heart stopping fear and oh life and death situations. Angst. No more for Spuffy though. They are together no matter what. Doesn't mean the angst has ended for everyone else. Keep your eyes peeled for the next chapter next week or so. Enjoy. Skyz.
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon has the bull by the horns-screwing with us, making Spike be all...(sobbing) crazy! But he can do what ever he wants he owns Btvs. Evil puppet master...pulling our strings and forcing me to create my own little version of good 'ol Sunnyhell. Please don't sue me evil puppet master!
~*~*~
Chapter 7:
So I'm sitting.
Watching my fingers as I wiggle them about. Making funny shapes....only not so funny to me anymore. The appeal has worn thin.
Too many days stuck here, watching my fingers move. Kinda getting stone cold crazy here. Stir crazy. View crazy.
Crazy.
So I'm sitting. Not staring at my fingers now, just sitting staring at the wall...wondering what was to come.
I'm really sorry if my jumbled thoughts confuse you, I'm not much on the introspective thing. Searching your soul for the real you, blah, blah..
Don't need it, don't want it.
But kinda have too.
Again.
So I'm sitting.
Thinking how this is all really my fault.
Sure it is.
Trouble always seems to follow me around.
I mean one time when I was six I went to one of my best friend's house, to play, normal stuff. Cuz I'm all with the normal. So we're playing and I used to play on their swing set, seeing who could fly the highest. Normal kid stuff. Only I swung too hard and well..the swing set sorta fell apart. While said friend was high in the air. To make a long story short best friend turned mortal enemy after he broke his arms. Not of the happy.
It was then I sorta realized I wasn't normal. I wasn't the average kid. I was stronger, faster, and smarter. That's right smarter! I inherited all the smart cells from both my parents and though at times you'd never know it they are extremely smart. That is when I started to get into the whole child of the Slayer and William the Bloody.
Big mistake.
I wasn't normal and it took a good while to come to terms with it. Grace helped though.
Whoa, I don't want to think about Grace..I'll be depressed and broody if I do. Believe me you don't want to see that. Start singing Tom Petty songs...
I shudder at the mere thought.
So if that event hadn't have happened I would never have spent the time to learn all I could about my parents. Never learned how much I was missing.
How much we were alike.
Wouldn't have been so broody about it, Gr-well the spell would never have been cast and I'd never have met them.
I'd like to regret it but who am I kidding I love the fact I've met them, talked to them and they love me!
Wouldn't change that for the world.
What I do regret though is the fact they were caught in a spell because of it. Now they've got all kinds of people after them. Not to mention them all wanting to kill me. But then I'm used to that.
Hybrid here, kinda calls for the evil doers or would be's to come out of the woodwork and do me in.
Well as I was saying this is all my fault. I had the need, the desire to see them, know them and look where it has gotten me. Stuck in some room with only glimpses of them and their enemies.
They all want me and I know they'll never get me if my parents have anything to say about it and I'm so overwhelmed by the feelings of love and admiration I have for them both that I don't want to do what I have to do.
What I know I need to do.
Stalling I glance around again and wish for a view, anything to take my mind off this.
Nothing comes and I rise abruptly, rolling my shoulders and jogging in place. Anything to ease the sudden tension I have surging through my body.
I begin to talk aloud.
"So would you look at me? All stir crazy and jonesin' for a spot of violence. What to do?"
I begin the process of shadow boxing.
"I'm a lover not a fighter," I mutter as I feint left and jab right.
"I'm a poet not a killer."
Duck and uppercut to the solar plexus.
"Think you can take me down? Wanna see you try bastard. Watch me; see me..now you don't!"
Moving like lightning, I'm inside, double jab to the ribs, left hook to the head.
I'm a lover not a fighter.
I dance around, dodging imaginary blows.
Ducking, rolling, and swinging.
I stagger back and eye my opponent as I rub my jaw.
"Good one, lucky one though. It'll be your last boyo."
Sometimes I wish I had claws that popped out of my hands. I mean how cool would that be? Skrit and pop go the claws kinda like Wolverine. He's all cool and non-aging. The best at what he does. Reminds me of my dad and that's why I admired him.
Shaking my head and shifting my thoughts, I return to the present and watch my opponent watch me with narrowed eyes.
"Can't beat me," I mutter.
I'm a lover not a fighter.
In and out, I dodge blow after blow.
Punch, duck, punch duck-
"So I was thinking when and if I get back home I'm gonna ask Grace to marry me," I announce suddenly. I look at my opponent to see his reaction.
Getting none, I shrug as I dodge a throw to my head.
"I mean I've been with her for years! Since I was a boy, loved her all this time and there has never been anyone else I would ever ask. I love her. Is that so hard to believe?"
Frowning I, attack with speed and little accuracy as anger burns through me.
"I want to be happy! I want to know my parents, I want to marry Grace and live happily fucking ever after! Is that too much to ask for?! I've never asked for anything at all. Never. All I wanted was to know my parents and now this! All of this for me! WHY?!"
Bitterness consumes me and I attack in earnest now. Using the strength, I was born with to destroy my opponent.
"Do you see me? Do you understand what I want? Why this is killing me?"
No answer and I let out a half yell as I take one wild swing and end up on my butt, breathing heavily I lower my head.
Why does this always happen to me?
Why does everybody want a piece of me?
I'm nothing special let me tell you.
I've got a temper, lit like a fuse.
Little patience.
The desire to be the best at everything.
I'm insecure.
I know, how can he be insecure if he's as strong as an ox, as handsome as his dad is and as cool and controlled as his mother?
I don't know.
I know when people look at me, search me out they're expecting some card carrying member of the white hat community but truth be told I'm neither for or against. Mess with me, and mine and I'll hunt you down and kill you.
The rest of the world?
I shrug.
Can't worry about them, or I'd never make it out of bed.
I'm a lover not a fighter.
"So should I get down on bended knee," I ask as I rise and resume our fight.
Grinning slightly I cock my head to the side and arch a brow.
"Or go all out with it? Some elaborate scheme? Make her fantasies come true? I know what kind of ring she would want. Gotta be a colored stone, preferable a sapphire. No diamonds for our gal. Nope, but that's what makes her so special. She's not normal either."
That's the thing, we aren't normal and all I've ever wanted to be was normal.
There go those pesky insecurities.
I know I'm not good enough, that I'll never be good enough. Never be as good as them.
I wonder why I have all this power, power that I'll never use.
Why me, why not some other sap who deserved it?
Cuz I sure as hell don't.
"Sorry..lost my train of thought for a moment. So on bended knee or sky lettered? Romantic setting in Paris? Walk along the beach? Thing is I was going to do this at the party I was at when all this crap came down. Ask her in front of all our loved ones and then she wouldn't have been able to refuse. The wrath of the Scoobies would have befallen her and that's never good. Anya would have had to go all vengeance demon on her."
That was another thing.
The Scoobies.
They were all so good, fighting evil and most had no powers other than the knowledge there was evil out there.
They had become true heroes and I know I can never be one.
Not in my destiny.
"Well maybe I'll just toss the box out and let it do the talking for me? She'd like that. Leave it on her dresser and go about my business. Have her come to me with the answer. Maybe. This is hard! Who knew all this thought had to go into asking some one to marry you?"
I don't know how long I was at it hours, days..but it seemed forever.
Ducking, swinging, and talking.
I'm a lover not a fighter.
It was kind of like dancing. The rhythm of it all, the flow and give and take of the punches. The waltz of my feet as I moved, always moving.
"You're not gonna beat me! I don't need you," I yell as punch furiously.
Never.
"You can take that and shove it up your-I know what you're thinking, that this is the way it has to be. Well no way! Once was enough and never again you bloody prick! Is this why I'm here? Well if so you're gonna, have a long wait, it's not gonna happen and so..bye-bye. Never wanna see you again. Get outta here!"
It's irrational the anger I feel, the fear that's flooding through my system.
The pounding of my heart and the blood rushing through my head drown out the hollow sounds of my breathing.
If I talk long enough, loud enough I know....
I know everything will be fine.
"So about that ring? No ideas? Where's your father when you need him? Bet he had a hell of a time choosing one. Probably finally settled on his mom's because it was the only one he thought she might like. But there are all kinds of sizes and shapes. Square cut, pear shaped, tear drop-although I don't see, the difference with pear shaped and tear drop to tell you the truth. Circles. All kinds of things. I even thought about giving her a wolf ring. You know like those- of course you do. It would have been special made. But then I thought you know...that's just a little too much Wolfe for one gal."
Images have begun to flicker and play out before my eyes as I talk.
I ignore them.
"Mrs. Grace Shelby Winthrop. Why thank you, she is lovely isn't she? All that black hair and those eyes! Whoo knocked me for a loop the minute I saw her. Gotta have her. She's gotta know I love her. Gotta. She's all I have ever wanted besides my parents. I love her. I need her! Please!"
I shake my head and clench my hands in my hair.
"She's gotta know. Gotta understand. Gotta....gotta..gotta....STOP IT! STOP IT--"
I watch the scenes as they flicker, shift and move at a rapid speed.
The Scoobies, I know I should be happy about seeing them but really, I can't be. After all, they're fighting for their lives and I'm here.
I watch as my mom fights with Mornay.
Xander protects Willow from attacks as she does her mojo.
Giles and Joyce as he ushers her to safety.
Reptilian demons I knew were T'dron, hired helpers slithered throughout the house and I knew they needed help.
Delos appeared, talking to dad.
Flashes.
All flashes.
In a blink of an eye, they were gone and I'm left here.
Trying to deny what I've always known.
What had always been with me.
"This what you wanted?" I ask tiredly.
Hands hanging at my side I drop my head.
My shoulders slump and I inhale deeply.
Biting my lip, I raise my head, square my shoulders.
I'm a lover not a fighter.
"Alright then. Let's get this over with."
My eyes dart around and settle on the spot I am looking for.
My opponent steps out of the shadows and I grit my teeth to keep from changing my mind. I don't want this.
I don't want this.
But I need to do this.
Green eyes locked on green eyes and we stared at each other.
A smirk appeared and he ran a hand through his damp curls.
"Never thought I'd see the day..took you long enough boy," he snapped as he sauntered forward.
"Well..not everyone is always ready to open themselves up to a demon," I snap right back.
I meet his eyes as he stops a few inches from me and loses the smirk.
"She'll know.." he says.
I close my eyes and fling my arms wide.
It's like putting on an old pair of sneakers, all comfortable and well worn. It was like slipping on silk, sliding over me. Seeping inside of me.
My body shuddered, shifted to accommodate this new yet old acquaintance, long desired, but long repressed.
My eyes glow a deep and eerie green as I feel myself falling...
Flying and I hear him whisper...
She'll know you loved her...
~*~*~
A/N: Wolfe put himself in that dark room and had to accept who he is. Both of his parents. Demon and Slayer. He's no good without the other part of him. His main problem was that he never liked to think about that side of him. Always wanted to be normal. So I had to make him realize he couldn't be the hero he so desired to be unless he accepted everything he was. Now I hope you understood this and it wasn't a jumbled mess. This chapter and 8 will all be in the same period as the claiming. So Wolfe is doing this while Buffy's with Spike. Next chapter should be out next week. Hope you enjoyed this.
A/N: Hi all. Well here, we are again. New chapter and a whole whopping 24 reviews. Thank you all for reviewing I really appreciate that. Now what else? For those of you who are worried for Spike I hope the last chapter eased your fears. Spike is Spike and nothing can keep him down and I love him so no more angst here---cept for general worry, heart stopping fear and oh life and death situations. Angst. No more for Spuffy though. They are together no matter what. Doesn't mean the angst has ended for everyone else. Keep your eyes peeled for the next chapter next week or so. Enjoy. Skyz.
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon has the bull by the horns-screwing with us, making Spike be all...(sobbing) crazy! But he can do what ever he wants he owns Btvs. Evil puppet master...pulling our strings and forcing me to create my own little version of good 'ol Sunnyhell. Please don't sue me evil puppet master!
~*~*~
Chapter 7:
So I'm sitting.
Watching my fingers as I wiggle them about. Making funny shapes....only not so funny to me anymore. The appeal has worn thin.
Too many days stuck here, watching my fingers move. Kinda getting stone cold crazy here. Stir crazy. View crazy.
Crazy.
So I'm sitting. Not staring at my fingers now, just sitting staring at the wall...wondering what was to come.
I'm really sorry if my jumbled thoughts confuse you, I'm not much on the introspective thing. Searching your soul for the real you, blah, blah..
Don't need it, don't want it.
But kinda have too.
Again.
So I'm sitting.
Thinking how this is all really my fault.
Sure it is.
Trouble always seems to follow me around.
I mean one time when I was six I went to one of my best friend's house, to play, normal stuff. Cuz I'm all with the normal. So we're playing and I used to play on their swing set, seeing who could fly the highest. Normal kid stuff. Only I swung too hard and well..the swing set sorta fell apart. While said friend was high in the air. To make a long story short best friend turned mortal enemy after he broke his arms. Not of the happy.
It was then I sorta realized I wasn't normal. I wasn't the average kid. I was stronger, faster, and smarter. That's right smarter! I inherited all the smart cells from both my parents and though at times you'd never know it they are extremely smart. That is when I started to get into the whole child of the Slayer and William the Bloody.
Big mistake.
I wasn't normal and it took a good while to come to terms with it. Grace helped though.
Whoa, I don't want to think about Grace..I'll be depressed and broody if I do. Believe me you don't want to see that. Start singing Tom Petty songs...
I shudder at the mere thought.
So if that event hadn't have happened I would never have spent the time to learn all I could about my parents. Never learned how much I was missing.
How much we were alike.
Wouldn't have been so broody about it, Gr-well the spell would never have been cast and I'd never have met them.
I'd like to regret it but who am I kidding I love the fact I've met them, talked to them and they love me!
Wouldn't change that for the world.
What I do regret though is the fact they were caught in a spell because of it. Now they've got all kinds of people after them. Not to mention them all wanting to kill me. But then I'm used to that.
Hybrid here, kinda calls for the evil doers or would be's to come out of the woodwork and do me in.
Well as I was saying this is all my fault. I had the need, the desire to see them, know them and look where it has gotten me. Stuck in some room with only glimpses of them and their enemies.
They all want me and I know they'll never get me if my parents have anything to say about it and I'm so overwhelmed by the feelings of love and admiration I have for them both that I don't want to do what I have to do.
What I know I need to do.
Stalling I glance around again and wish for a view, anything to take my mind off this.
Nothing comes and I rise abruptly, rolling my shoulders and jogging in place. Anything to ease the sudden tension I have surging through my body.
I begin to talk aloud.
"So would you look at me? All stir crazy and jonesin' for a spot of violence. What to do?"
I begin the process of shadow boxing.
"I'm a lover not a fighter," I mutter as I feint left and jab right.
"I'm a poet not a killer."
Duck and uppercut to the solar plexus.
"Think you can take me down? Wanna see you try bastard. Watch me; see me..now you don't!"
Moving like lightning, I'm inside, double jab to the ribs, left hook to the head.
I'm a lover not a fighter.
I dance around, dodging imaginary blows.
Ducking, rolling, and swinging.
I stagger back and eye my opponent as I rub my jaw.
"Good one, lucky one though. It'll be your last boyo."
Sometimes I wish I had claws that popped out of my hands. I mean how cool would that be? Skrit and pop go the claws kinda like Wolverine. He's all cool and non-aging. The best at what he does. Reminds me of my dad and that's why I admired him.
Shaking my head and shifting my thoughts, I return to the present and watch my opponent watch me with narrowed eyes.
"Can't beat me," I mutter.
I'm a lover not a fighter.
In and out, I dodge blow after blow.
Punch, duck, punch duck-
"So I was thinking when and if I get back home I'm gonna ask Grace to marry me," I announce suddenly. I look at my opponent to see his reaction.
Getting none, I shrug as I dodge a throw to my head.
"I mean I've been with her for years! Since I was a boy, loved her all this time and there has never been anyone else I would ever ask. I love her. Is that so hard to believe?"
Frowning I, attack with speed and little accuracy as anger burns through me.
"I want to be happy! I want to know my parents, I want to marry Grace and live happily fucking ever after! Is that too much to ask for?! I've never asked for anything at all. Never. All I wanted was to know my parents and now this! All of this for me! WHY?!"
Bitterness consumes me and I attack in earnest now. Using the strength, I was born with to destroy my opponent.
"Do you see me? Do you understand what I want? Why this is killing me?"
No answer and I let out a half yell as I take one wild swing and end up on my butt, breathing heavily I lower my head.
Why does this always happen to me?
Why does everybody want a piece of me?
I'm nothing special let me tell you.
I've got a temper, lit like a fuse.
Little patience.
The desire to be the best at everything.
I'm insecure.
I know, how can he be insecure if he's as strong as an ox, as handsome as his dad is and as cool and controlled as his mother?
I don't know.
I know when people look at me, search me out they're expecting some card carrying member of the white hat community but truth be told I'm neither for or against. Mess with me, and mine and I'll hunt you down and kill you.
The rest of the world?
I shrug.
Can't worry about them, or I'd never make it out of bed.
I'm a lover not a fighter.
"So should I get down on bended knee," I ask as I rise and resume our fight.
Grinning slightly I cock my head to the side and arch a brow.
"Or go all out with it? Some elaborate scheme? Make her fantasies come true? I know what kind of ring she would want. Gotta be a colored stone, preferable a sapphire. No diamonds for our gal. Nope, but that's what makes her so special. She's not normal either."
That's the thing, we aren't normal and all I've ever wanted to be was normal.
There go those pesky insecurities.
I know I'm not good enough, that I'll never be good enough. Never be as good as them.
I wonder why I have all this power, power that I'll never use.
Why me, why not some other sap who deserved it?
Cuz I sure as hell don't.
"Sorry..lost my train of thought for a moment. So on bended knee or sky lettered? Romantic setting in Paris? Walk along the beach? Thing is I was going to do this at the party I was at when all this crap came down. Ask her in front of all our loved ones and then she wouldn't have been able to refuse. The wrath of the Scoobies would have befallen her and that's never good. Anya would have had to go all vengeance demon on her."
That was another thing.
The Scoobies.
They were all so good, fighting evil and most had no powers other than the knowledge there was evil out there.
They had become true heroes and I know I can never be one.
Not in my destiny.
"Well maybe I'll just toss the box out and let it do the talking for me? She'd like that. Leave it on her dresser and go about my business. Have her come to me with the answer. Maybe. This is hard! Who knew all this thought had to go into asking some one to marry you?"
I don't know how long I was at it hours, days..but it seemed forever.
Ducking, swinging, and talking.
I'm a lover not a fighter.
It was kind of like dancing. The rhythm of it all, the flow and give and take of the punches. The waltz of my feet as I moved, always moving.
"You're not gonna beat me! I don't need you," I yell as punch furiously.
Never.
"You can take that and shove it up your-I know what you're thinking, that this is the way it has to be. Well no way! Once was enough and never again you bloody prick! Is this why I'm here? Well if so you're gonna, have a long wait, it's not gonna happen and so..bye-bye. Never wanna see you again. Get outta here!"
It's irrational the anger I feel, the fear that's flooding through my system.
The pounding of my heart and the blood rushing through my head drown out the hollow sounds of my breathing.
If I talk long enough, loud enough I know....
I know everything will be fine.
"So about that ring? No ideas? Where's your father when you need him? Bet he had a hell of a time choosing one. Probably finally settled on his mom's because it was the only one he thought she might like. But there are all kinds of sizes and shapes. Square cut, pear shaped, tear drop-although I don't see, the difference with pear shaped and tear drop to tell you the truth. Circles. All kinds of things. I even thought about giving her a wolf ring. You know like those- of course you do. It would have been special made. But then I thought you know...that's just a little too much Wolfe for one gal."
Images have begun to flicker and play out before my eyes as I talk.
I ignore them.
"Mrs. Grace Shelby Winthrop. Why thank you, she is lovely isn't she? All that black hair and those eyes! Whoo knocked me for a loop the minute I saw her. Gotta have her. She's gotta know I love her. Gotta. She's all I have ever wanted besides my parents. I love her. I need her! Please!"
I shake my head and clench my hands in my hair.
"She's gotta know. Gotta understand. Gotta....gotta..gotta....STOP IT! STOP IT--"
I watch the scenes as they flicker, shift and move at a rapid speed.
The Scoobies, I know I should be happy about seeing them but really, I can't be. After all, they're fighting for their lives and I'm here.
I watch as my mom fights with Mornay.
Xander protects Willow from attacks as she does her mojo.
Giles and Joyce as he ushers her to safety.
Reptilian demons I knew were T'dron, hired helpers slithered throughout the house and I knew they needed help.
Delos appeared, talking to dad.
Flashes.
All flashes.
In a blink of an eye, they were gone and I'm left here.
Trying to deny what I've always known.
What had always been with me.
"This what you wanted?" I ask tiredly.
Hands hanging at my side I drop my head.
My shoulders slump and I inhale deeply.
Biting my lip, I raise my head, square my shoulders.
I'm a lover not a fighter.
"Alright then. Let's get this over with."
My eyes dart around and settle on the spot I am looking for.
My opponent steps out of the shadows and I grit my teeth to keep from changing my mind. I don't want this.
I don't want this.
But I need to do this.
Green eyes locked on green eyes and we stared at each other.
A smirk appeared and he ran a hand through his damp curls.
"Never thought I'd see the day..took you long enough boy," he snapped as he sauntered forward.
"Well..not everyone is always ready to open themselves up to a demon," I snap right back.
I meet his eyes as he stops a few inches from me and loses the smirk.
"She'll know.." he says.
I close my eyes and fling my arms wide.
It's like putting on an old pair of sneakers, all comfortable and well worn. It was like slipping on silk, sliding over me. Seeping inside of me.
My body shuddered, shifted to accommodate this new yet old acquaintance, long desired, but long repressed.
My eyes glow a deep and eerie green as I feel myself falling...
Flying and I hear him whisper...
She'll know you loved her...
~*~*~
A/N: Wolfe put himself in that dark room and had to accept who he is. Both of his parents. Demon and Slayer. He's no good without the other part of him. His main problem was that he never liked to think about that side of him. Always wanted to be normal. So I had to make him realize he couldn't be the hero he so desired to be unless he accepted everything he was. Now I hope you understood this and it wasn't a jumbled mess. This chapter and 8 will all be in the same period as the claiming. So Wolfe is doing this while Buffy's with Spike. Next chapter should be out next week. Hope you enjoyed this.