CHAPTER 6
It was still dark outside. Soon it would be dawn but for the time being not a murmur rose from the deserted alleys to trouble the restful peace of the Temple.
A tug woke Noor with a start. She bolted upright scanning the room with her sleep fogged senses. It took her a few seconds to understand that the pulling came from inside of her and that somebody was reaching for her through the Force.
:: Get dressed, your first session will begin in five minutes, hurry up ::
She looked at her watch, she had only been asleep for 3 hours for pity's sake!! She groaned throwing the offending object across the room.
She ungracefully stumbled out of her bed flinching as the chill of the morning hit her skin. She steeled herself thinking that in a few hours it would be hotter than hell in the practice room and went blindly to her closet to get dressed, neatly avoiding her probably horrific reflection in the mirror.
Kenobi was already waiting for her wide awake and in full Jedi mode which seemed awfully ominous to Noor at this ungodly hour of the morning.
He examined her critically as she made her entrance. He noted her slumped shoulders, her bruised eyelids in her paled worn-looking face, the frailty of her figure as she stood there trying to stifle the urge to yawn.
"Your body is weak, you will need to exercise if you want to survive a battle. Or this training to begin with," he added coolly after looking at her up and down.
'Why good morning to you too, smart ass,' Noor answered inwardly quite bothered by his abrupt change of mood. She knew that he would be a demanding master and did not expect any leniency from him. She could handle a foul tempered Kenobi barking orders in her face but this new cool attitude, the impersonal expression plastered on his face and his unreadable gaze surprised her.
Before she could think any further he called her to order. "Do not let your mind wander apprentice, focus on the matter at hand, time is not on our side."
He was right. But she could already tell that their relationship would be difficult at best.
--Three weeks later.--
They took their guard with their ignited light saber in hand, sizing up one another with a glance. Both were tired and wary. The tension that had built between them for weeks filled the air with electricity all around them.
" You are too nervous. Relax, clear your mind and make your stance more supple," Kenobi advised tersely. " Are you ready to fight now?"
She was dripping with sweat from an unmerciful day of training but managed a determined nod.
He immediately deactivated his blade straightened and walked away without giving her a look.
She dropped her head and breathed heavily to remain calm. It failed.
"What's the bloody hell now?!" she burst, losing the last grip she had had on her temper for weeks.
"Language Padawan," he scolded sternly before closing the men locking room door behind him.
She was positively beside herself with anger when she marched to the door and yanked it open not giving a damn about modesty when she came to stand in front a very half undressed Jedi knight.
"All right *Master*, let's get this straight. For a month you made my life a complete hell! But I shut up and obeyed, I climbed on ropes, on rocks, I ran for miles until I was on the verge of coma, suffered endless sessions of meditation, ran again, went through the most *painful* classes of fencing, cleaned up the whole practice room with a set of tiny brushes because it was supposed to teach me patience, etc. I know I'm unfitted and all yet I tried hard only to obtain more indifferent criticisms. So, true I am just an ill-tempered paddy but I am tired to try to match the impossible standards of a schizophrenic control freak who talks by riddles! Moreover, the time granted for my training ends up with the week and I still desperately need to work on my saber practice!"
His face betrayed nothing.
"Are you done?"
"Quite," she snapped.
He pursed his lips slightly and sighed. "I recognize my failure. Despite the odds I honestly thought at one point that I could train you and actually finish your formation. You just proved me how wrong I was. We are both wasting our time."
"All I said was that I was ready to fight! Don't you think you are a bit overreacting?"
He took a few steps towards her and bent forward bringing his face very close to hers making her feel the difference of heights and strength.
"You are ready to fight indeed. You are so absorbed in your attempt to antagonize me that you forget everything you have been taught here. You won't be able to control the Force if you don't control yourself first hand. The Force is an ally for whom defends, not fights."
"Oh, please you are going to drive me mad with those speeches. Maybe you are right, maybe we are doing nothing here but wasting away! The Council didn't really bother to consult me about all this," she said harshly, poking his bare chest to emphasize her statement.
"They did. You agreed. That's why you are here."
How she hated when he was right.
"It's not as if I had the bloody choice! Can anybody turn down the Council once it has decided something? Damn! I think not."
"Beside the fact that your choice of words is questionable, we also both know very well that your problem is not the mission nor the Council's decision."
"No?"
"No. It is obvious that your problem has to do with me only."
Oh boy, he was asking for it.
" The truth is Kenobi, that I left here a haughty hung up padawan to end up being trained by a frigid hung up knight. Quite a fascinating evolution!"
"Oh.Is that all?" he asked, challenging her.
"Well, you're a terrible tease too."
All right, that wasn't her cleverest line ever.
A derisive smile spread on the master's lips, his eyes were an icy shade of blue when he slowly started to walk forward forcing her to step back towards the showers wall.
"Once more you are being unfair Padawan, the option in that respect was entirely yours. You accepted me as your master when I left to you the opportunity to refuse."
She stopped when the cold tiles pressed in her back, she lowered her voice a bit although her anger did not diminish.
"I did indeed. But I honestly don't understand why you plaited my hair if it's to offer a passive resistance afterwards. You watch your back anytime I am around, you are aloof and on the edge. You do know that the formation can only be achieved if there's a link of trust between an apprentice and the master. It's a team job. That's a basis, that's the Code. I trusted you to become my master because you trusted me back. What the hell changed since that night?!"
"I actually started to train you. You have to realize that we are not on the 'old pals' mode now. Your attention is constantly flitting around, you pay no heed to my instructions. You are good but you are not that good. We are in the middle of a war, Noor and I really cannot afford to have your progression delayed because of your pride and your stupid behavior towards me. I am in charge of you, so whether you like it or not I intend to see your formation completed the way I choose," he answered harshly.
Noor knew she had no room left for argumentation and that she should probably keep a low profile---
And of course, she did not.
" If we are such in a hurry and if I am so much of a fool, then why do we keep losing so much time on matters of secondary importance? Why do I have to spend countless hours deciphering codes, drawing maps of remote areas on Earth when the battle isn't taking place in the solar system."
This time Kenobi's patience was reaching its limits, he leaned down and put his hands on the wall on either sides of Noor's head, trapping her efficiently.
"Listen to me very carefully, Noor, because we will not have this conversation again. You have been here long enough to know that everything you learn has a specific importance. As you told the Council yourself, you don't know the odds of the next battle. Let me tell you that your unruliness will not give you answers more quickly. I know what I am doing for *I* actually became a Jedi knight and a master."
"By necessity!"
As soon as it left her mouth she bitterly regretted it. She bit her lip hard as she saw the impact of her words briefly show in his eyes before they became indecipherable again. He had hit a nerve with his last comment but her anger deserted her with the realization that she had gone too far this time. Kenobi pushed himself off the wall and went to collect his clothes in the other room.
The young woman cleared her throat uneasily and came up behind him. "Look I- -"
Kenobi turned around and sharply raised a hand to silence her. " That is quite enough Padawan," he snapped.
The icy edge of his voice left her crestfallen, he had never talked to her like that not even when he was angry or displeased with her.
He hastily finished to get dressed as she stood there clumsily, fumbling with her saber, mulling over a convincing apology.
"You are dismissed for the rest of the day, you may go to your quarters and work on your meditation skills. Or lack of it thereof."
Once more she tried to explain.
"That will be all."
With that he left.
~*~
She was really miserable.
She spent the day biting her tongue as she played the whole scene over and over in her head curled up on her bed. How could she have said that? His reprimand was justified, why didn't she shut her mouth and get over her bruised ego? Kenobi had proved a thousand times that he had been worthy of his knighthood granted unusually quickly by the Council under a crisis circumstance. Still her foolish rejoinder had hurt him. Deeply.
All she meant to say before anger had transformed her into an airhead fury, was that she missed the way he was that night in the garden. She sighed and buried her head under the pillow.
It was a long before she could fall asleep that night.
~*~
The next day she rushed to the practice room, early for once, to apologize and work their disagreement out. She was determined to obey scrupulously his every command. Even if she had to run for another ten miles.
There was nobody in the room.
Ten minutes later, she stopped cold her nervous pacing to and fro and snapped her head up when she detected a presence. She felt butterflies her in stomach when the cloaked figure entered.
"Master?!"
Master Windu raised his eyebrows, amused. " Well, Noor I expected a tad more enthusiastic welcome from you considering I have not seen you in a month."
She forced a smile. Although she was truly glad to see the older Jedi again, her thoughts were fixed elsewhere.
"I am sure this overjoyed reaction will be brought to its paroxysm when you will learn that I found time to finish your formation myself."
What?!
Noor's eyes grew huge as her face fell. "But---Why is that?" she stammered.
"Ah, my little Noor, seeing you again certainly does wonders to my ego."
The master sobered up and observed his padawan. "What is wrong Noor? Master Kenobi didn't tell you?"
"No sir, I thought I was to see him this morning and resume my training as usual. I need to talk to him about, umm. An issue. I guess it will have to wait the end of today's classes."
"I'm afraid not, Master Kenobi left last night for Naboo to meet his padawan and then he will take his post in the Army. I thought you knew."
Noor felt her heart sank.
He eyed her closely, " Why are you confused Padawan? What happened with Master Kenobi?"
Noor hastily shielded her mind and composed a carefree smile on her face.
" Nothing Master. I was just surprised he had forgotten to warn me."
"I see. I think we should take your training where you left it. We may begin with the saber--"
Noor didn't listen to her Master anymore. Her jaws had imperceptibly tightened. If he didn't want to see her anymore that was fine with her. It was not the first time he would leave without a word. He could sulk in his corner as long as he pleased as far as she was concerned. Or not concerned anymore rather.
She blocked Kenobi out of her mind and focused entirely on master Windu's instructions, she had wasted enough time.
*****
It was still dark outside. Soon it would be dawn but for the time being not a murmur rose from the deserted alleys to trouble the restful peace of the Temple.
A tug woke Noor with a start. She bolted upright scanning the room with her sleep fogged senses. It took her a few seconds to understand that the pulling came from inside of her and that somebody was reaching for her through the Force.
:: Get dressed, your first session will begin in five minutes, hurry up ::
She looked at her watch, she had only been asleep for 3 hours for pity's sake!! She groaned throwing the offending object across the room.
She ungracefully stumbled out of her bed flinching as the chill of the morning hit her skin. She steeled herself thinking that in a few hours it would be hotter than hell in the practice room and went blindly to her closet to get dressed, neatly avoiding her probably horrific reflection in the mirror.
Kenobi was already waiting for her wide awake and in full Jedi mode which seemed awfully ominous to Noor at this ungodly hour of the morning.
He examined her critically as she made her entrance. He noted her slumped shoulders, her bruised eyelids in her paled worn-looking face, the frailty of her figure as she stood there trying to stifle the urge to yawn.
"Your body is weak, you will need to exercise if you want to survive a battle. Or this training to begin with," he added coolly after looking at her up and down.
'Why good morning to you too, smart ass,' Noor answered inwardly quite bothered by his abrupt change of mood. She knew that he would be a demanding master and did not expect any leniency from him. She could handle a foul tempered Kenobi barking orders in her face but this new cool attitude, the impersonal expression plastered on his face and his unreadable gaze surprised her.
Before she could think any further he called her to order. "Do not let your mind wander apprentice, focus on the matter at hand, time is not on our side."
He was right. But she could already tell that their relationship would be difficult at best.
--Three weeks later.--
They took their guard with their ignited light saber in hand, sizing up one another with a glance. Both were tired and wary. The tension that had built between them for weeks filled the air with electricity all around them.
" You are too nervous. Relax, clear your mind and make your stance more supple," Kenobi advised tersely. " Are you ready to fight now?"
She was dripping with sweat from an unmerciful day of training but managed a determined nod.
He immediately deactivated his blade straightened and walked away without giving her a look.
She dropped her head and breathed heavily to remain calm. It failed.
"What's the bloody hell now?!" she burst, losing the last grip she had had on her temper for weeks.
"Language Padawan," he scolded sternly before closing the men locking room door behind him.
She was positively beside herself with anger when she marched to the door and yanked it open not giving a damn about modesty when she came to stand in front a very half undressed Jedi knight.
"All right *Master*, let's get this straight. For a month you made my life a complete hell! But I shut up and obeyed, I climbed on ropes, on rocks, I ran for miles until I was on the verge of coma, suffered endless sessions of meditation, ran again, went through the most *painful* classes of fencing, cleaned up the whole practice room with a set of tiny brushes because it was supposed to teach me patience, etc. I know I'm unfitted and all yet I tried hard only to obtain more indifferent criticisms. So, true I am just an ill-tempered paddy but I am tired to try to match the impossible standards of a schizophrenic control freak who talks by riddles! Moreover, the time granted for my training ends up with the week and I still desperately need to work on my saber practice!"
His face betrayed nothing.
"Are you done?"
"Quite," she snapped.
He pursed his lips slightly and sighed. "I recognize my failure. Despite the odds I honestly thought at one point that I could train you and actually finish your formation. You just proved me how wrong I was. We are both wasting our time."
"All I said was that I was ready to fight! Don't you think you are a bit overreacting?"
He took a few steps towards her and bent forward bringing his face very close to hers making her feel the difference of heights and strength.
"You are ready to fight indeed. You are so absorbed in your attempt to antagonize me that you forget everything you have been taught here. You won't be able to control the Force if you don't control yourself first hand. The Force is an ally for whom defends, not fights."
"Oh, please you are going to drive me mad with those speeches. Maybe you are right, maybe we are doing nothing here but wasting away! The Council didn't really bother to consult me about all this," she said harshly, poking his bare chest to emphasize her statement.
"They did. You agreed. That's why you are here."
How she hated when he was right.
"It's not as if I had the bloody choice! Can anybody turn down the Council once it has decided something? Damn! I think not."
"Beside the fact that your choice of words is questionable, we also both know very well that your problem is not the mission nor the Council's decision."
"No?"
"No. It is obvious that your problem has to do with me only."
Oh boy, he was asking for it.
" The truth is Kenobi, that I left here a haughty hung up padawan to end up being trained by a frigid hung up knight. Quite a fascinating evolution!"
"Oh.Is that all?" he asked, challenging her.
"Well, you're a terrible tease too."
All right, that wasn't her cleverest line ever.
A derisive smile spread on the master's lips, his eyes were an icy shade of blue when he slowly started to walk forward forcing her to step back towards the showers wall.
"Once more you are being unfair Padawan, the option in that respect was entirely yours. You accepted me as your master when I left to you the opportunity to refuse."
She stopped when the cold tiles pressed in her back, she lowered her voice a bit although her anger did not diminish.
"I did indeed. But I honestly don't understand why you plaited my hair if it's to offer a passive resistance afterwards. You watch your back anytime I am around, you are aloof and on the edge. You do know that the formation can only be achieved if there's a link of trust between an apprentice and the master. It's a team job. That's a basis, that's the Code. I trusted you to become my master because you trusted me back. What the hell changed since that night?!"
"I actually started to train you. You have to realize that we are not on the 'old pals' mode now. Your attention is constantly flitting around, you pay no heed to my instructions. You are good but you are not that good. We are in the middle of a war, Noor and I really cannot afford to have your progression delayed because of your pride and your stupid behavior towards me. I am in charge of you, so whether you like it or not I intend to see your formation completed the way I choose," he answered harshly.
Noor knew she had no room left for argumentation and that she should probably keep a low profile---
And of course, she did not.
" If we are such in a hurry and if I am so much of a fool, then why do we keep losing so much time on matters of secondary importance? Why do I have to spend countless hours deciphering codes, drawing maps of remote areas on Earth when the battle isn't taking place in the solar system."
This time Kenobi's patience was reaching its limits, he leaned down and put his hands on the wall on either sides of Noor's head, trapping her efficiently.
"Listen to me very carefully, Noor, because we will not have this conversation again. You have been here long enough to know that everything you learn has a specific importance. As you told the Council yourself, you don't know the odds of the next battle. Let me tell you that your unruliness will not give you answers more quickly. I know what I am doing for *I* actually became a Jedi knight and a master."
"By necessity!"
As soon as it left her mouth she bitterly regretted it. She bit her lip hard as she saw the impact of her words briefly show in his eyes before they became indecipherable again. He had hit a nerve with his last comment but her anger deserted her with the realization that she had gone too far this time. Kenobi pushed himself off the wall and went to collect his clothes in the other room.
The young woman cleared her throat uneasily and came up behind him. "Look I- -"
Kenobi turned around and sharply raised a hand to silence her. " That is quite enough Padawan," he snapped.
The icy edge of his voice left her crestfallen, he had never talked to her like that not even when he was angry or displeased with her.
He hastily finished to get dressed as she stood there clumsily, fumbling with her saber, mulling over a convincing apology.
"You are dismissed for the rest of the day, you may go to your quarters and work on your meditation skills. Or lack of it thereof."
Once more she tried to explain.
"That will be all."
With that he left.
~*~
She was really miserable.
She spent the day biting her tongue as she played the whole scene over and over in her head curled up on her bed. How could she have said that? His reprimand was justified, why didn't she shut her mouth and get over her bruised ego? Kenobi had proved a thousand times that he had been worthy of his knighthood granted unusually quickly by the Council under a crisis circumstance. Still her foolish rejoinder had hurt him. Deeply.
All she meant to say before anger had transformed her into an airhead fury, was that she missed the way he was that night in the garden. She sighed and buried her head under the pillow.
It was a long before she could fall asleep that night.
~*~
The next day she rushed to the practice room, early for once, to apologize and work their disagreement out. She was determined to obey scrupulously his every command. Even if she had to run for another ten miles.
There was nobody in the room.
Ten minutes later, she stopped cold her nervous pacing to and fro and snapped her head up when she detected a presence. She felt butterflies her in stomach when the cloaked figure entered.
"Master?!"
Master Windu raised his eyebrows, amused. " Well, Noor I expected a tad more enthusiastic welcome from you considering I have not seen you in a month."
She forced a smile. Although she was truly glad to see the older Jedi again, her thoughts were fixed elsewhere.
"I am sure this overjoyed reaction will be brought to its paroxysm when you will learn that I found time to finish your formation myself."
What?!
Noor's eyes grew huge as her face fell. "But---Why is that?" she stammered.
"Ah, my little Noor, seeing you again certainly does wonders to my ego."
The master sobered up and observed his padawan. "What is wrong Noor? Master Kenobi didn't tell you?"
"No sir, I thought I was to see him this morning and resume my training as usual. I need to talk to him about, umm. An issue. I guess it will have to wait the end of today's classes."
"I'm afraid not, Master Kenobi left last night for Naboo to meet his padawan and then he will take his post in the Army. I thought you knew."
Noor felt her heart sank.
He eyed her closely, " Why are you confused Padawan? What happened with Master Kenobi?"
Noor hastily shielded her mind and composed a carefree smile on her face.
" Nothing Master. I was just surprised he had forgotten to warn me."
"I see. I think we should take your training where you left it. We may begin with the saber--"
Noor didn't listen to her Master anymore. Her jaws had imperceptibly tightened. If he didn't want to see her anymore that was fine with her. It was not the first time he would leave without a word. He could sulk in his corner as long as he pleased as far as she was concerned. Or not concerned anymore rather.
She blocked Kenobi out of her mind and focused entirely on master Windu's instructions, she had wasted enough time.
*****