Thank You for all the wonderful feedback. I will try to be more punctual in updating my post.
ewen
###########
Jinn sat on the floor with his padawan resting in his lap. He smoothed back the sweat dampened hair and watched Obi-Wan sleep. Obi-Wan looked younger than his fifteen years as he slept in his master's lap. The fear Jinn saw in his eyes when he put the force band on him was now etched in Obi-Wan's face in a form of a deep frown.
"I did not mean to cause you so much fear my little one. I am doing this to try to help you. The council would not have let me keep you by my side. I hope when you awake I will be successful in explaining that too you. I haven't done a very good job of telling you yet how much a part of my life you really are."
Jinn's voice was a mere whisper as he pressed his lips close to Obi-Wan's ear. He knew the words went unheard by the unresponsive padawan.. Maybe he spoke the words, as he pulled Obi-Wan closer to him just so he, himself could hear them. They were reassuring him that he could regain Obi-Wan's trust once he woke up again.
Jinn gently rested the palm of his hand on the boy's forehead and started reversing the forced sleep he had put him in.
Obi-wan jumped up with a start after finding himself in his masters arms. He suddenly remembered what his master had done to him.
Qui-Gon got up off the floor too face his apprentice.
Tears pooled in the blue/ green eyes. His anger for his master was replaced with overwhelming hopelessness and defeat.
"How could you have done this too me? If the force is as strong as you say it is then I needed it to help me regain my memory. Why? Didn't you want me to be your apprentice? Or did you decide you only needed Xanatos by our side. Is he your favorite my master; has it been always that way, he before I? Is that why you did this too ?"
Obi-Wan was starting to feel the affects of the force dampener. He knew something was missing in both his mind and his heart. What he did not know that the bond he and his master had now was being tamped down. That was one of the worse side effects of the force band, the interference with the bond. The bond on Obi's side felt dormant, missing.. Even though the padawan was not aware of the bond, he felt the effects of lonely emptiness from losing it.
"Listen Obi-Wan you must understand. I plan to help you get over this. Then the band can be removed."
There was a hitch in Obi-Wan's voice, tears streamed down his face, and then a sob tore from the padawan's throat.
"I don't think you want me to be your padawan any longer or you wouldn't have done this. I feel so empty. You and Xanatos had me believing I was just jealous of him. I don't need my memory or the force to know you favor him over me. Why my master, why do this too me.?"
Qui-Gon reached out to Obi-Wan and tried to embrace him. Obi-Wan, now unable to control the tears that flowed, turned and ran to the fresher.
Xanatos could tell immediately when his master walked out of the bedroom that things had not gone well between master and apprentice. The look of dejection was clearly evident in the way Master Jinn hung his head and the slow shuffle in his walk.
"I thought I should give him time to be alone, so I came out here. I really had no choice. The boy has locked himself in the fresher. The last person he wants to talk too right now is me and I really can't blame him."
"Master, Obi-Wan does not realize you really are trying to help him because he is confused, but you have to keep thinking you did was for the best."
"Best!! Xani I put a force band on him. Do you know how empty and lonely he must feel right now and I can't be there to help him. He won't let me."
"He will turn to you once again master. Just give it some time."
"That's about all I can do. I wonder how long he plans stay in there and pout. I mean I know I could make him feel more comfortable if he would just come too me."
"He will master. I mean he has to eat sometime."
"I don't know about that. You didn't see him when he thought I had betrayed him with the force bacelet. He thinks I favor you over him."
"We do share a lot. I think you have been able to keep it from him quite well."
Qui-Gon had just sat down at the table where Xanatos was eating again. He was not sure which padawan ate the most, Xani or Obi-Wan.
"What do you me padawan? What do I hide well.?"
"Master there is not a person at the temple that does not know we share so much more than you and Obi-Wan ever will. Now be truthful, have you ever had the closeness with him that you and I share? Your feelings for him could never mirror those you have for me."
Xanatos spoke with a certain cockiness that Jinn had never heard from his older padawan before.
Jinn dropped his head in his hands while his elbows rested on the table. He thought back of how he handled Xani then back to the rigors of Jedi training he had put Obi-Wan through. He realized that he had been harder on Obi-Wan. Well he didn't just realize it for he knew it all along. He also knew why he was harder on Obi-Wan, but that would be his secret. He would never divulge his reasoning for treating the two differently.
"We do share a closeness but that does not mean I care more for you than he. You two are equal in my eyes and in my heart."
"O. K. Who am I too argue. I am comfortable in my station in life. It is Obi-Wan who must deal with feeling less than equal too me. He must realize that master's care for their padawans to different degrees."
Xani was not going to let it go about him being the chosen one between he and Obi.
"Listen Xani I really can't deal with this now. I don't think you are hearing anything I say about the two of you. Let's just figure out what we are going to do about you. We need to investigate some more tomorrow, although dragging Obi-Wan with us will be difficult."
"What ever you say. I will only say one last thing if I may.
"What is that?"
The master could only listen in stone silence and shock and Xanatos voiced his last opinion on who was the favored apprentice.
"When it comes to who is the favored padawan you can gage it by one thing; "actions speak louder than words"………………"
#############
Obi-Wan never came out for dinner. The next morning left Qui-Gon feeling just as miserable as he did the night before. He was sure Obi-Wan was suffering as much as he was, but since his youngest padawan was not speaking to him, he couldn't verify that with any certainty. Jinn had to make Obi-Wan come out of the room. The boy barely touched his breakfast. He seemed resigned to doing what Master Jinn told him, but he had lost even the desire to argue with his master.
Qui-Gon had made an appointment to meet with someone who said he knew what happened to the prisoners on Telos. Of course Master Jinn thought he knew what happened to them. Xanatos had told him last night that they were shipped off world to a prison on Naboo. But the council would need proof and witnesses. He wished he could stay there at Lord Crion's castle and talk with Obi-Wan, however was it was imperative to meet with this man before he left to do work on Naboo.
"I know you might not want too Obi-Wan, but you will have to accompany Xani and I. I have an important meeting and I must keep it."
"Whatever you say my master."
The venomous hatred for his master could be heard in the acid tone of Obi-Wan's voice.
Jinn thought the boy should be corrected, but he just did not have the heart say anything negative to his padawan right now. He knew how much Obi-Wan must be suffering. His mission had to go on no matter. That brought a twinge of guilt when Qui-Gon thought of how the mission was to clear Xanatos' name. He again had to put Xanatos' welfare before Obi-Wan's, but it was not intentional. It did not diminish what he felt for his younger padawan.
Jinn stood waiting in abandoned store for the person he was scheduled to meet. Xani watched for him to come but so far no one appeared. Obi-Wan found an old chair and sat down in it. He seemed worn out from losing the force.
A man, Ral' who said he had information for Jinn started to come in but backed off when he saw Xanatos. He took off down a back street of the store.
"I will go get him master. I think we must have spooked him because there were three of us. He knows me and once I have spoken with him he will return to talk with you. You will have the proof of my innocence shortly."
Xani left and Jinn waited for well over a half of hour before his pad wan returned empty handed.
"Sorry master, I lost track of him and I never found him. We must have really scared him off. He probably thought we were setting some kind of trap."
"Well we will return back to your father's home and maybe he will contact us again."
Jinn motioned for the silent Obi-Wan to follow them. He tried to put his arm around his padawan, as they walked back home, but Obi shook the master's arm off of him. He did not even want Master Jinn to touch him right now.
Qui-Gon noticed that Obi-Wan ate a little more at last-meal, however he spoke not one word at the table as they ate.
One of the castle guards came with a note for Jinn.
He opened it and read it.
The note said that the man Jinn was to have met was killed because of what he knew and that no one on the planet would tell him anything. He was instructed to go back home because the Jedi were not wanted there.
Jinn showed the note to Xanatos who seemed just as confused as he did.
The master and older apprentice sat and discussed the death of their informer and what it meant. Obi-Wan listened to everything.
Jinn went to the other room to use the commlink. That left the two padawans in the kitchen alone.
"Seems funny, you go after the man who can supposedly clear you and he winds up dead. Maybe he could have proved your guilt instead of your innocence?"
Obi-Wan had been thinking about what had happened that day. The man ended up dead and Xanatos was missing for a half of an hour. It was enough reason to break his self induced silence.
Xanatos looked at Obi-Wan and rolled his eyes.
"Either you really hate me or you are just plan nuts Kenobi. Trying to spread vicious rumors on me are you? Well you can say what you want to me, but if you voice something like that to our master, he will surely get rid of you. I don't believe it would be wise to attempt to voice your accusation; that I killed him because he knew the truth about me. Master Jinn knows the truth and you, little one will not advance your chance of becoming a knight by belittling me. If they send you away you might not ever get you mind back. You, right now are of no use to Master Jinn or the Jedi. You are just a pathetic little normal teenager that is bringing my master more trouble than you are worth."
Obi-Wan knew he was right His master probably wouldn't believe what he suspected; that Xanatos killed the informer. Obi-Wan did not know if he believed it himself. It was just a thought in passing and Obi-Wan wondered if he just thought it because he was jealous of Xanatos. Xanatos was everything Obi-Wan was sure he wanted to be. If only he could remember things then maybe his master would be more excepting of him and he would be allowed to have his force abilities back.
Xanatos smiled evilly. He decided that maybe he really should tell his master himself what Obi-Wan thought. Bring it right up for Obi-Wan to deny or confirm. That really would shake the little padawan too the core.
"I know let's tell Master Jinn your theory of what happened to the informer shall we? Let's just see what he thinks of it."
Jinn was just returning from the common room and his spirits perked up over hearing Obi -Wan's voice coming from the kitchen.
Well Xani has managed to get Obi-Wan too talk. Let it to my older padawan to succeed where I couldn't.
Qui-Gon went to the sink and leaned against the counter. He picked up a left over dinner roll and popped in his mouth. He was feeling better knowing Obi-Wan had broken his silence.
"Well I see you two have managed to strike of a conversation, anything interesting?"
"Oh I think you might find what Obi-Wan has too say quite interesting Master. Care too tell him Obi or should I?"
Obi-Wan shot the other padawan a dirty look but remained silent. He knew his master was only going to be angry over what he had just said to Xanatos. How could he not? Obi was talking about master's precious one.
Qui looked at both of his padawans and waited to be told something?
"Well what is it Obi?"
"Oh I don't think he wants to repeat what he told me so I will tell you master. He thinks I was missing too long today when I was searching for the elusive informer, Ral'. He thinks that just maybe I killed him to silence him. I guess he also thinks I am guilty of killing the prisoners so I killed Ral' too silence him. Like his theory do you?"
Qui-Gon tried very hard not to relay his disappointment in Obi-Wan but the glaring look he shot the younger padawan gave him away. He struggled with every ounce of Jedi control he had not to light into the boy and reprimand him severely for his thoughts. Obi-Wan looked up to see Xanatos break into an almost smile as he waited for Obi-Wan to explain himself to their master.
"Obi-Wan, is that what you think? Did you tell Xanatos you think he is guilty of killing Ral'?"
Qui-Gon waited for what seemed like an eternity and still Obi-Wan refused to answer him or even look up at his master. He hung his head, staring at the plate in front of him.
"I am waiting for an answer padawan. And I expect one."
Jinn still tried to rein in his anger and not let Obi-Wan see how perturbed he was with him right now. It wasn't working.
Obi-Wan whispered his reply.
"It was just a thought that crossed my mind master."
Qui-Gon let out a sigh. Still he tried not to let Obi-Wan see how angry he was. His voice cracked under the pressure of trying to remain calm.
"Is that what you think or was it just said to hurt Xani?"
He still could not imagine where Obi-Wan would have come up with such an absurd idea."
Xani interjected his own views.
"Well master I have been teasing him about such a tale. I think he might be a little upset with me. For that I am sorry."
A whisper came from Obi-Wan.
"Sure you are."
Qui-Gon uncrossed his arms and stepped toward Obi-Wan. His nostrils flared as he tried to stay under control. His breathing increased from the rolling emotions he tried to keep from showing.
"Excuse me young man. Would you care to repeat that last comment you made loud enough for me too hear it."
Jinn heard it very well. He was just confronting Obi-Wan the only way he knew how. He had come back in the kitchen happy to know Xani had gotten Obi-Wan to talk and instead found a fiasco with Obi-Wan throwing unwarranted accusations at Xani.
"I think you heard me master. Now if you will excuse me I want to go to my room. I am very tired. I guess from having my force abilities taken away."
Obi-Wan intentionally reminded the master what he had done too him hopefully to get him off the conversation they were engaged in. It worked like a charm.
Jinn stepped back as if he had been slapped by the younger padawan. Guilt overtook the master at what he had done too Obi-Wan. He instantly decided this conversation would not be worth continuing, especially with Obi-Wan being so confused right now.
"I think you are right Obi. It would be best if you went to your room and got some rest. Maybe you will be able to think more clearly in the morning."
Obi-Wan got up and started to leave. He mumbled something under his breath that neither the other apprentice or the master could here.
Jinn very lightly took the boy's arms and spun him around to face him. Now Jinn was letting his emotions rule him.
"Excuse me young man. I did not quite hear what you said. Repeat it please."
Obi-Wan had no choice. He lifted his face to meet the face of his masters'. He looked squarely in the deep blue pools of his masters' eyes.
"I said, thanks to you, I won't be thinking any more clearly in the morning than what I think now………………………………........"
The last sentence spoken by Obi-Wan before he left the kitchen leaving his master in a dumbfounded daze. Deep down he knew those words were not true, but Obi-Wan had managed before, as he had now, too hurt the big man deeply, not by his actions but his cutting words.
He looked over to see Xanatos intently watching him to see what he was going to do next.
"I think it is best if I just leave him alone for now."
"That is what you said last night when he threw a temper tantrum Master. How long do you plan to let him get away with his insolent behavior?"
Xani you know he is not thinking clearly. His mind was wiped clean of his past, or had you forgotten?"
"No master I have not forgotten. I think you forget he is in training to be a Jedi. If that training is too hard on him then maybe he would benefit staying in a foster home and doing what regular teenagers do. Maybe the stress of performing his Jedi obligations is getting to him. A setting in a more natural atmosphere might be easier on him and with the stress off of him maybe he would remember his past and his training."
"Well you have certainly given me something to think about. Maybe you are right. Obi just might do better living with the retired master and not under what he thinks is an expectancy to be a Jedi, at least temporarily. I think I will call Mace and discuss it with him. That is after all what he wanted me to do in the first place."
The next morning Jinn cautiously watched his younger padawan sleep. The boy seemed to be in a world of slumbering bliss as he slept. That would not be the case when he awoke later in the morning. Qui-Gon worried that there might be hard feelings between his two padawans. He just hoped that the two could get along after Obi-Wan felt so blatantly betrayed by the other padawan.
Jinn had all night to think about what Xanatos had said about Obi-Wan going to a foster home. He also discussed with Mace and he agreed with Xani. Qui-Gon felt it was just about settled. As soon as they finished their search for proof of Xani's once here on Telos he would return to Coruscant and hand Obi-Wan over to the retired Jedi master who had agreed to provide him a home
Qui-Gon had been sitting in the common room sipping his morning tea while he waited for his padawans to wake up. He was surprised when the door to their little apartment opened and Xanatos came walking in."
"My, aren't you up early. Where have you been? I thought you were still asleep as Obi-Wan is."
"Oh it was such a beautiful morning I thought I would jog around my father's courtyard. He will be home tomorrow you know."
Xani was trying to change the subject about his whereabouts. It went unnoticed by Jinn.
"That's good. I guess I should wake Obi-Wan up. We have one more man to see today. I made the appointment with him before I got that threatening note. Maybe he will still be willing to see us. I am sure that Ral's death did not have anything to do with you, although I am not sure what they meant by saying no one else would talk to us. I wonder who is threatening them?"
"Well I assure you master I can't imagine who it is. I mean we have been here less than a week and you say you have been giving mind suggestions to people so they would forget about you talking with them. I suppose that was done because of me?"
Yes, I did not want you to find out. Of course Obi-Wan told you part of why I was really here and I had to tell you the rest."
"I am glad I know. I can help you. Did you find out anything from the others?"
"No, nothing. We will just have to see if we can meet with this… this"
"You mean with Darrow?"
"Yes, I had forgotten his name. I must be getting senile in my old age."
Xani laughed at having to supply the name of the man that had to meet to his forgetful master.
"I don't think that is your problem master. You just have so much on your mind"
Jinn stopped smiling and a frown appeared on his face.
"Yes you are right. I do have a lot too think about. One thing though, I have thought through what you said last night about Obi-Wan and have decided a course of action."
What is that?"
Xani thought it might have something to do with him. It did not.
"I have decided that once we have proven you innocence sufficiently here, I will hand Obi-Wan over to the retired Jedi. I think that will be best. I have already told Mace and he agreed with me. He is going to notify the council of my decision and have everything ready for Obi-Wan's transition when we return. Now all I have to do is deal with him while we are here."
"I think you have made a good decision master. Good for you and even better for Obi-Wan."
I hope so my padawan. I hope Obi-Wan does not think I am just getting rid of him in favor of keeping you."
"You can't think that master. I will only be a padawan a few months now. Well I mean once we have proven me not guilty of any wrongdoing then I can become a knight. I plan to make you very proud of me master. I plan to be the best knight next to what you were, ever."
Jinn smiled with that comment.
"You don't have to try so hard Xanatos. I am already proud of you. When you helped bring the men to justice when your father was almost overthrown from his government, you were as efficient as any great knight could have been. I think that was reason enough to make you a knight. I wasn't happy with the council stalling your knight hood."
A dark look crossed the knight's face. He knew he was not favored by Master Yoda. Yoda had a certain endearment toward Obi-Wan but certainly not toward Xanatos. They had never really gotten along. They both had been civil to each other because of Master Jinn.
"Yes, but very soon the council will not be able to ignore my knighthood. I will be a knight and a great one. That is my promise to you Master Jinn."
"I know my Xani. Now I think we should get Obi-Wan out of bed. As bad as I hate to have to deal with the boy this morning, with all the other things I must deal with, we'll be late if I don't have him get up."
On the other side of the bedroom door the younger padawan ran back to his bed and covered up. He pretended to be asleep. His entire body trembled with the anger seething in him.
He did not want his master to know he had been eavesdropping and had heard all the plans his master had for him; including sending him away.
Qui-Gon noticed to silent treatment he was getting from Obi-Wan. He assumed it was because of what happened the night before. He had no intentions of asking the boy right now what his problem was. They were waiting on Darrow, another of Xanatos' comrades during the civil war on Telos. He hoped to get the proof he needed from this Darrow fellow and then they could return to Coruscant.
"Well padawans I don't think Darrow is going to show up. We might as well go back to the castle. I don't really have nay one else to contact. We may have to go back to Coruscant and let the council deal with all of this. If they keep coming to a dead end as we do then they may just let Xani become a knight. They are themselves having certain hesitancy about believing what was told."
Xanatos seemed pleased. Even though they had not proven his innocence, he would be glad to get back to the temple.
"Sounds like an idea to me master."
"I guess you are in a hurry to get back to the temple master."
Obi-Wan finally decided to speak. As usual though Jinn knew there was some ominous meaning behind the words he did manage to get out of his mouth.
Jinn had just about reached his breaking point.
He kept coming up empty while investigating Xani and Obi-wan was just continually a thorn in his side. With a little guilt Jinn thought how he would welcome a few free minutes away from his younger padawan.
Of course at that moment he did not think how hard it would be away from the light of his life. For that was how Jinn thought of Obi. He was proud of Xani, but Obi-Wan Kenobi had brought him so much happiness to the big master. His only problem had been he never really told his younger padawan how he felt about him.. He had no wish to spoil him as he had done Xani so Qui-Gon tried to keep Obi-Wan an "arm's length" away from him when it came to being emotionally attached to the younger padawan.
"You know Obi-Wan, I am really tired of your negativity. If you have nothing good to say then just don't open your mouth."
Jinn was surprised that he could even be so cross with his confused padawan, but the day was wearing on his nerves.
"Then I guess I should not say anything. I was just thinking maybe Xani got to this Darrow guy before he could speak with you."
Obi-Wan raised his hand to his neck and pretended he was slitting his throat as he drew his extended his index finger a crossed his throat as if it were a knife.
"That does it padawan. You will go home and mediate on you viciousness. That is all I can call your statements and actions lately. This is totally not like you."
Obi-Wan actually jumped when his master started yelled at him. Ever since he had returned with his memory gone, his master had always before tried to talk calmly and even reserved. It startled the boy to hear Qui-Gon yell so loudly, especially at him directly.
Obi-Wan intended to show his master he could be as obstinate as his master was.
"Is that what you call it master, viciousness? I think I am just being honest and you don't like it. Well don't worry I know you plan to get rid of me. I won't be in your hair much longer. Is that how you deal with things you don't like to deal with, my master, just get rid of it as you plan to rid yourself of me?"
"I think he has been listening to our conversations master. I told you, he was getting by with too much lately. Now he has resorted to eavesdropping. That's not a new Jedi trait is it Obi-Wan? Maybe one I should know about it since I am a fellow padawan also."
"That's enough Xani. I don't want to "air our dirty laundry" on a street corner. Let's just get back to the castle."
After he spoke to Xanatos, the master turned his attentions to Obi-Wan.
"You and I young man have a few things to discuss once we are back at Lord Crion's castle."
"I don't have anything to say to you Master Jinn. Let's just get back to Coruscant so you can pawn me off on some old master who probably sits and brews nasty tasting tea all day."
Jinn did not know that Obi-Wan even had it in him to talk in such a disrespectful manner.
"Obi-Wan you had your memories erased, not your intelligence. I don't know what has gotten into you, but it will stop now. I don't plan to discuss this with you on the street, but once we are home my young one……"
" Don't call me "your" anything. You don't want me. You haven't even mentioned why you are sending me away."
"I am not sending you away Obi-Wan. I will talk to you later. Now go let's just get back."
Jinn truly could not see Obi-Wan's point of view. He did not look at placing Obi-Wan in foster home as sending him away. He honestly thought that a foster home was the place his padawan should be temporarily.
Qui-Gon roughly took Obi-Wan by his arm and had to drag the reluctant boy home with him. Obi-Wan said no more. Nevertheless he was just as angry with his master as his master was with him.
Xanatos kept quiet. He knew Master Jinn would think he had overstepped his boundaries if he said any more negative things about the little padawan.
Qui-Gon did not think twice about the man, Darrow, who missed their appointment. Right now he had an out-of-control padawan too deal with.
Qui-Gon was yelling for Obi-Wan to stop in the common room to talk with him, but the command went unheeded by Obi. He continued into his bedroom and slammed the door. Jinn heard the lock on the door click.
"Evidently he actually thinks that a mere lock is going to stop me from going in there."
Xanatos was not sure if his master was talking to him or just saying his thoughts out loud. He did not respond to the comment.
Even before Jinn got the entire sentence out, he could here things being thrown around the room. Qui-Gon was afraid that Obi-Wan would destroy Lord Crion's guest room so he had no choice but to follow the boy into his bedroom and stop him from throwing whatever he was throwing.
Xanatos sat down in the common room, stretched out his long legs, put his hands behind his head, and chuckled ever so quietly too himself..
If nothing else, this evening should prove to be interesting. I have never seen Master so angry at anyone in all my life. I would say "little" Obi-Wan is in for it now……….
PEACE ewen
ewen
###########
Jinn sat on the floor with his padawan resting in his lap. He smoothed back the sweat dampened hair and watched Obi-Wan sleep. Obi-Wan looked younger than his fifteen years as he slept in his master's lap. The fear Jinn saw in his eyes when he put the force band on him was now etched in Obi-Wan's face in a form of a deep frown.
"I did not mean to cause you so much fear my little one. I am doing this to try to help you. The council would not have let me keep you by my side. I hope when you awake I will be successful in explaining that too you. I haven't done a very good job of telling you yet how much a part of my life you really are."
Jinn's voice was a mere whisper as he pressed his lips close to Obi-Wan's ear. He knew the words went unheard by the unresponsive padawan.. Maybe he spoke the words, as he pulled Obi-Wan closer to him just so he, himself could hear them. They were reassuring him that he could regain Obi-Wan's trust once he woke up again.
Jinn gently rested the palm of his hand on the boy's forehead and started reversing the forced sleep he had put him in.
Obi-wan jumped up with a start after finding himself in his masters arms. He suddenly remembered what his master had done to him.
Qui-Gon got up off the floor too face his apprentice.
Tears pooled in the blue/ green eyes. His anger for his master was replaced with overwhelming hopelessness and defeat.
"How could you have done this too me? If the force is as strong as you say it is then I needed it to help me regain my memory. Why? Didn't you want me to be your apprentice? Or did you decide you only needed Xanatos by our side. Is he your favorite my master; has it been always that way, he before I? Is that why you did this too ?"
Obi-Wan was starting to feel the affects of the force dampener. He knew something was missing in both his mind and his heart. What he did not know that the bond he and his master had now was being tamped down. That was one of the worse side effects of the force band, the interference with the bond. The bond on Obi's side felt dormant, missing.. Even though the padawan was not aware of the bond, he felt the effects of lonely emptiness from losing it.
"Listen Obi-Wan you must understand. I plan to help you get over this. Then the band can be removed."
There was a hitch in Obi-Wan's voice, tears streamed down his face, and then a sob tore from the padawan's throat.
"I don't think you want me to be your padawan any longer or you wouldn't have done this. I feel so empty. You and Xanatos had me believing I was just jealous of him. I don't need my memory or the force to know you favor him over me. Why my master, why do this too me.?"
Qui-Gon reached out to Obi-Wan and tried to embrace him. Obi-Wan, now unable to control the tears that flowed, turned and ran to the fresher.
Xanatos could tell immediately when his master walked out of the bedroom that things had not gone well between master and apprentice. The look of dejection was clearly evident in the way Master Jinn hung his head and the slow shuffle in his walk.
"I thought I should give him time to be alone, so I came out here. I really had no choice. The boy has locked himself in the fresher. The last person he wants to talk too right now is me and I really can't blame him."
"Master, Obi-Wan does not realize you really are trying to help him because he is confused, but you have to keep thinking you did was for the best."
"Best!! Xani I put a force band on him. Do you know how empty and lonely he must feel right now and I can't be there to help him. He won't let me."
"He will turn to you once again master. Just give it some time."
"That's about all I can do. I wonder how long he plans stay in there and pout. I mean I know I could make him feel more comfortable if he would just come too me."
"He will master. I mean he has to eat sometime."
"I don't know about that. You didn't see him when he thought I had betrayed him with the force bacelet. He thinks I favor you over him."
"We do share a lot. I think you have been able to keep it from him quite well."
Qui-Gon had just sat down at the table where Xanatos was eating again. He was not sure which padawan ate the most, Xani or Obi-Wan.
"What do you me padawan? What do I hide well.?"
"Master there is not a person at the temple that does not know we share so much more than you and Obi-Wan ever will. Now be truthful, have you ever had the closeness with him that you and I share? Your feelings for him could never mirror those you have for me."
Xanatos spoke with a certain cockiness that Jinn had never heard from his older padawan before.
Jinn dropped his head in his hands while his elbows rested on the table. He thought back of how he handled Xani then back to the rigors of Jedi training he had put Obi-Wan through. He realized that he had been harder on Obi-Wan. Well he didn't just realize it for he knew it all along. He also knew why he was harder on Obi-Wan, but that would be his secret. He would never divulge his reasoning for treating the two differently.
"We do share a closeness but that does not mean I care more for you than he. You two are equal in my eyes and in my heart."
"O. K. Who am I too argue. I am comfortable in my station in life. It is Obi-Wan who must deal with feeling less than equal too me. He must realize that master's care for their padawans to different degrees."
Xani was not going to let it go about him being the chosen one between he and Obi.
"Listen Xani I really can't deal with this now. I don't think you are hearing anything I say about the two of you. Let's just figure out what we are going to do about you. We need to investigate some more tomorrow, although dragging Obi-Wan with us will be difficult."
"What ever you say. I will only say one last thing if I may.
"What is that?"
The master could only listen in stone silence and shock and Xanatos voiced his last opinion on who was the favored apprentice.
"When it comes to who is the favored padawan you can gage it by one thing; "actions speak louder than words"………………"
#############
Obi-Wan never came out for dinner. The next morning left Qui-Gon feeling just as miserable as he did the night before. He was sure Obi-Wan was suffering as much as he was, but since his youngest padawan was not speaking to him, he couldn't verify that with any certainty. Jinn had to make Obi-Wan come out of the room. The boy barely touched his breakfast. He seemed resigned to doing what Master Jinn told him, but he had lost even the desire to argue with his master.
Qui-Gon had made an appointment to meet with someone who said he knew what happened to the prisoners on Telos. Of course Master Jinn thought he knew what happened to them. Xanatos had told him last night that they were shipped off world to a prison on Naboo. But the council would need proof and witnesses. He wished he could stay there at Lord Crion's castle and talk with Obi-Wan, however was it was imperative to meet with this man before he left to do work on Naboo.
"I know you might not want too Obi-Wan, but you will have to accompany Xani and I. I have an important meeting and I must keep it."
"Whatever you say my master."
The venomous hatred for his master could be heard in the acid tone of Obi-Wan's voice.
Jinn thought the boy should be corrected, but he just did not have the heart say anything negative to his padawan right now. He knew how much Obi-Wan must be suffering. His mission had to go on no matter. That brought a twinge of guilt when Qui-Gon thought of how the mission was to clear Xanatos' name. He again had to put Xanatos' welfare before Obi-Wan's, but it was not intentional. It did not diminish what he felt for his younger padawan.
Jinn stood waiting in abandoned store for the person he was scheduled to meet. Xani watched for him to come but so far no one appeared. Obi-Wan found an old chair and sat down in it. He seemed worn out from losing the force.
A man, Ral' who said he had information for Jinn started to come in but backed off when he saw Xanatos. He took off down a back street of the store.
"I will go get him master. I think we must have spooked him because there were three of us. He knows me and once I have spoken with him he will return to talk with you. You will have the proof of my innocence shortly."
Xani left and Jinn waited for well over a half of hour before his pad wan returned empty handed.
"Sorry master, I lost track of him and I never found him. We must have really scared him off. He probably thought we were setting some kind of trap."
"Well we will return back to your father's home and maybe he will contact us again."
Jinn motioned for the silent Obi-Wan to follow them. He tried to put his arm around his padawan, as they walked back home, but Obi shook the master's arm off of him. He did not even want Master Jinn to touch him right now.
Qui-Gon noticed that Obi-Wan ate a little more at last-meal, however he spoke not one word at the table as they ate.
One of the castle guards came with a note for Jinn.
He opened it and read it.
The note said that the man Jinn was to have met was killed because of what he knew and that no one on the planet would tell him anything. He was instructed to go back home because the Jedi were not wanted there.
Jinn showed the note to Xanatos who seemed just as confused as he did.
The master and older apprentice sat and discussed the death of their informer and what it meant. Obi-Wan listened to everything.
Jinn went to the other room to use the commlink. That left the two padawans in the kitchen alone.
"Seems funny, you go after the man who can supposedly clear you and he winds up dead. Maybe he could have proved your guilt instead of your innocence?"
Obi-Wan had been thinking about what had happened that day. The man ended up dead and Xanatos was missing for a half of an hour. It was enough reason to break his self induced silence.
Xanatos looked at Obi-Wan and rolled his eyes.
"Either you really hate me or you are just plan nuts Kenobi. Trying to spread vicious rumors on me are you? Well you can say what you want to me, but if you voice something like that to our master, he will surely get rid of you. I don't believe it would be wise to attempt to voice your accusation; that I killed him because he knew the truth about me. Master Jinn knows the truth and you, little one will not advance your chance of becoming a knight by belittling me. If they send you away you might not ever get you mind back. You, right now are of no use to Master Jinn or the Jedi. You are just a pathetic little normal teenager that is bringing my master more trouble than you are worth."
Obi-Wan knew he was right His master probably wouldn't believe what he suspected; that Xanatos killed the informer. Obi-Wan did not know if he believed it himself. It was just a thought in passing and Obi-Wan wondered if he just thought it because he was jealous of Xanatos. Xanatos was everything Obi-Wan was sure he wanted to be. If only he could remember things then maybe his master would be more excepting of him and he would be allowed to have his force abilities back.
Xanatos smiled evilly. He decided that maybe he really should tell his master himself what Obi-Wan thought. Bring it right up for Obi-Wan to deny or confirm. That really would shake the little padawan too the core.
"I know let's tell Master Jinn your theory of what happened to the informer shall we? Let's just see what he thinks of it."
Jinn was just returning from the common room and his spirits perked up over hearing Obi -Wan's voice coming from the kitchen.
Well Xani has managed to get Obi-Wan too talk. Let it to my older padawan to succeed where I couldn't.
Qui-Gon went to the sink and leaned against the counter. He picked up a left over dinner roll and popped in his mouth. He was feeling better knowing Obi-Wan had broken his silence.
"Well I see you two have managed to strike of a conversation, anything interesting?"
"Oh I think you might find what Obi-Wan has too say quite interesting Master. Care too tell him Obi or should I?"
Obi-Wan shot the other padawan a dirty look but remained silent. He knew his master was only going to be angry over what he had just said to Xanatos. How could he not? Obi was talking about master's precious one.
Qui looked at both of his padawans and waited to be told something?
"Well what is it Obi?"
"Oh I don't think he wants to repeat what he told me so I will tell you master. He thinks I was missing too long today when I was searching for the elusive informer, Ral'. He thinks that just maybe I killed him to silence him. I guess he also thinks I am guilty of killing the prisoners so I killed Ral' too silence him. Like his theory do you?"
Qui-Gon tried very hard not to relay his disappointment in Obi-Wan but the glaring look he shot the younger padawan gave him away. He struggled with every ounce of Jedi control he had not to light into the boy and reprimand him severely for his thoughts. Obi-Wan looked up to see Xanatos break into an almost smile as he waited for Obi-Wan to explain himself to their master.
"Obi-Wan, is that what you think? Did you tell Xanatos you think he is guilty of killing Ral'?"
Qui-Gon waited for what seemed like an eternity and still Obi-Wan refused to answer him or even look up at his master. He hung his head, staring at the plate in front of him.
"I am waiting for an answer padawan. And I expect one."
Jinn still tried to rein in his anger and not let Obi-Wan see how perturbed he was with him right now. It wasn't working.
Obi-Wan whispered his reply.
"It was just a thought that crossed my mind master."
Qui-Gon let out a sigh. Still he tried not to let Obi-Wan see how angry he was. His voice cracked under the pressure of trying to remain calm.
"Is that what you think or was it just said to hurt Xani?"
He still could not imagine where Obi-Wan would have come up with such an absurd idea."
Xani interjected his own views.
"Well master I have been teasing him about such a tale. I think he might be a little upset with me. For that I am sorry."
A whisper came from Obi-Wan.
"Sure you are."
Qui-Gon uncrossed his arms and stepped toward Obi-Wan. His nostrils flared as he tried to stay under control. His breathing increased from the rolling emotions he tried to keep from showing.
"Excuse me young man. Would you care to repeat that last comment you made loud enough for me too hear it."
Jinn heard it very well. He was just confronting Obi-Wan the only way he knew how. He had come back in the kitchen happy to know Xani had gotten Obi-Wan to talk and instead found a fiasco with Obi-Wan throwing unwarranted accusations at Xani.
"I think you heard me master. Now if you will excuse me I want to go to my room. I am very tired. I guess from having my force abilities taken away."
Obi-Wan intentionally reminded the master what he had done too him hopefully to get him off the conversation they were engaged in. It worked like a charm.
Jinn stepped back as if he had been slapped by the younger padawan. Guilt overtook the master at what he had done too Obi-Wan. He instantly decided this conversation would not be worth continuing, especially with Obi-Wan being so confused right now.
"I think you are right Obi. It would be best if you went to your room and got some rest. Maybe you will be able to think more clearly in the morning."
Obi-Wan got up and started to leave. He mumbled something under his breath that neither the other apprentice or the master could here.
Jinn very lightly took the boy's arms and spun him around to face him. Now Jinn was letting his emotions rule him.
"Excuse me young man. I did not quite hear what you said. Repeat it please."
Obi-Wan had no choice. He lifted his face to meet the face of his masters'. He looked squarely in the deep blue pools of his masters' eyes.
"I said, thanks to you, I won't be thinking any more clearly in the morning than what I think now………………………………........"
The last sentence spoken by Obi-Wan before he left the kitchen leaving his master in a dumbfounded daze. Deep down he knew those words were not true, but Obi-Wan had managed before, as he had now, too hurt the big man deeply, not by his actions but his cutting words.
He looked over to see Xanatos intently watching him to see what he was going to do next.
"I think it is best if I just leave him alone for now."
"That is what you said last night when he threw a temper tantrum Master. How long do you plan to let him get away with his insolent behavior?"
Xani you know he is not thinking clearly. His mind was wiped clean of his past, or had you forgotten?"
"No master I have not forgotten. I think you forget he is in training to be a Jedi. If that training is too hard on him then maybe he would benefit staying in a foster home and doing what regular teenagers do. Maybe the stress of performing his Jedi obligations is getting to him. A setting in a more natural atmosphere might be easier on him and with the stress off of him maybe he would remember his past and his training."
"Well you have certainly given me something to think about. Maybe you are right. Obi just might do better living with the retired master and not under what he thinks is an expectancy to be a Jedi, at least temporarily. I think I will call Mace and discuss it with him. That is after all what he wanted me to do in the first place."
The next morning Jinn cautiously watched his younger padawan sleep. The boy seemed to be in a world of slumbering bliss as he slept. That would not be the case when he awoke later in the morning. Qui-Gon worried that there might be hard feelings between his two padawans. He just hoped that the two could get along after Obi-Wan felt so blatantly betrayed by the other padawan.
Jinn had all night to think about what Xanatos had said about Obi-Wan going to a foster home. He also discussed with Mace and he agreed with Xani. Qui-Gon felt it was just about settled. As soon as they finished their search for proof of Xani's once here on Telos he would return to Coruscant and hand Obi-Wan over to the retired Jedi master who had agreed to provide him a home
Qui-Gon had been sitting in the common room sipping his morning tea while he waited for his padawans to wake up. He was surprised when the door to their little apartment opened and Xanatos came walking in."
"My, aren't you up early. Where have you been? I thought you were still asleep as Obi-Wan is."
"Oh it was such a beautiful morning I thought I would jog around my father's courtyard. He will be home tomorrow you know."
Xani was trying to change the subject about his whereabouts. It went unnoticed by Jinn.
"That's good. I guess I should wake Obi-Wan up. We have one more man to see today. I made the appointment with him before I got that threatening note. Maybe he will still be willing to see us. I am sure that Ral's death did not have anything to do with you, although I am not sure what they meant by saying no one else would talk to us. I wonder who is threatening them?"
"Well I assure you master I can't imagine who it is. I mean we have been here less than a week and you say you have been giving mind suggestions to people so they would forget about you talking with them. I suppose that was done because of me?"
Yes, I did not want you to find out. Of course Obi-Wan told you part of why I was really here and I had to tell you the rest."
"I am glad I know. I can help you. Did you find out anything from the others?"
"No, nothing. We will just have to see if we can meet with this… this"
"You mean with Darrow?"
"Yes, I had forgotten his name. I must be getting senile in my old age."
Xani laughed at having to supply the name of the man that had to meet to his forgetful master.
"I don't think that is your problem master. You just have so much on your mind"
Jinn stopped smiling and a frown appeared on his face.
"Yes you are right. I do have a lot too think about. One thing though, I have thought through what you said last night about Obi-Wan and have decided a course of action."
What is that?"
Xani thought it might have something to do with him. It did not.
"I have decided that once we have proven you innocence sufficiently here, I will hand Obi-Wan over to the retired Jedi. I think that will be best. I have already told Mace and he agreed with me. He is going to notify the council of my decision and have everything ready for Obi-Wan's transition when we return. Now all I have to do is deal with him while we are here."
"I think you have made a good decision master. Good for you and even better for Obi-Wan."
I hope so my padawan. I hope Obi-Wan does not think I am just getting rid of him in favor of keeping you."
"You can't think that master. I will only be a padawan a few months now. Well I mean once we have proven me not guilty of any wrongdoing then I can become a knight. I plan to make you very proud of me master. I plan to be the best knight next to what you were, ever."
Jinn smiled with that comment.
"You don't have to try so hard Xanatos. I am already proud of you. When you helped bring the men to justice when your father was almost overthrown from his government, you were as efficient as any great knight could have been. I think that was reason enough to make you a knight. I wasn't happy with the council stalling your knight hood."
A dark look crossed the knight's face. He knew he was not favored by Master Yoda. Yoda had a certain endearment toward Obi-Wan but certainly not toward Xanatos. They had never really gotten along. They both had been civil to each other because of Master Jinn.
"Yes, but very soon the council will not be able to ignore my knighthood. I will be a knight and a great one. That is my promise to you Master Jinn."
"I know my Xani. Now I think we should get Obi-Wan out of bed. As bad as I hate to have to deal with the boy this morning, with all the other things I must deal with, we'll be late if I don't have him get up."
On the other side of the bedroom door the younger padawan ran back to his bed and covered up. He pretended to be asleep. His entire body trembled with the anger seething in him.
He did not want his master to know he had been eavesdropping and had heard all the plans his master had for him; including sending him away.
Qui-Gon noticed to silent treatment he was getting from Obi-Wan. He assumed it was because of what happened the night before. He had no intentions of asking the boy right now what his problem was. They were waiting on Darrow, another of Xanatos' comrades during the civil war on Telos. He hoped to get the proof he needed from this Darrow fellow and then they could return to Coruscant.
"Well padawans I don't think Darrow is going to show up. We might as well go back to the castle. I don't really have nay one else to contact. We may have to go back to Coruscant and let the council deal with all of this. If they keep coming to a dead end as we do then they may just let Xani become a knight. They are themselves having certain hesitancy about believing what was told."
Xanatos seemed pleased. Even though they had not proven his innocence, he would be glad to get back to the temple.
"Sounds like an idea to me master."
"I guess you are in a hurry to get back to the temple master."
Obi-Wan finally decided to speak. As usual though Jinn knew there was some ominous meaning behind the words he did manage to get out of his mouth.
Jinn had just about reached his breaking point.
He kept coming up empty while investigating Xani and Obi-wan was just continually a thorn in his side. With a little guilt Jinn thought how he would welcome a few free minutes away from his younger padawan.
Of course at that moment he did not think how hard it would be away from the light of his life. For that was how Jinn thought of Obi. He was proud of Xani, but Obi-Wan Kenobi had brought him so much happiness to the big master. His only problem had been he never really told his younger padawan how he felt about him.. He had no wish to spoil him as he had done Xani so Qui-Gon tried to keep Obi-Wan an "arm's length" away from him when it came to being emotionally attached to the younger padawan.
"You know Obi-Wan, I am really tired of your negativity. If you have nothing good to say then just don't open your mouth."
Jinn was surprised that he could even be so cross with his confused padawan, but the day was wearing on his nerves.
"Then I guess I should not say anything. I was just thinking maybe Xani got to this Darrow guy before he could speak with you."
Obi-Wan raised his hand to his neck and pretended he was slitting his throat as he drew his extended his index finger a crossed his throat as if it were a knife.
"That does it padawan. You will go home and mediate on you viciousness. That is all I can call your statements and actions lately. This is totally not like you."
Obi-Wan actually jumped when his master started yelled at him. Ever since he had returned with his memory gone, his master had always before tried to talk calmly and even reserved. It startled the boy to hear Qui-Gon yell so loudly, especially at him directly.
Obi-Wan intended to show his master he could be as obstinate as his master was.
"Is that what you call it master, viciousness? I think I am just being honest and you don't like it. Well don't worry I know you plan to get rid of me. I won't be in your hair much longer. Is that how you deal with things you don't like to deal with, my master, just get rid of it as you plan to rid yourself of me?"
"I think he has been listening to our conversations master. I told you, he was getting by with too much lately. Now he has resorted to eavesdropping. That's not a new Jedi trait is it Obi-Wan? Maybe one I should know about it since I am a fellow padawan also."
"That's enough Xani. I don't want to "air our dirty laundry" on a street corner. Let's just get back to the castle."
After he spoke to Xanatos, the master turned his attentions to Obi-Wan.
"You and I young man have a few things to discuss once we are back at Lord Crion's castle."
"I don't have anything to say to you Master Jinn. Let's just get back to Coruscant so you can pawn me off on some old master who probably sits and brews nasty tasting tea all day."
Jinn did not know that Obi-Wan even had it in him to talk in such a disrespectful manner.
"Obi-Wan you had your memories erased, not your intelligence. I don't know what has gotten into you, but it will stop now. I don't plan to discuss this with you on the street, but once we are home my young one……"
" Don't call me "your" anything. You don't want me. You haven't even mentioned why you are sending me away."
"I am not sending you away Obi-Wan. I will talk to you later. Now go let's just get back."
Jinn truly could not see Obi-Wan's point of view. He did not look at placing Obi-Wan in foster home as sending him away. He honestly thought that a foster home was the place his padawan should be temporarily.
Qui-Gon roughly took Obi-Wan by his arm and had to drag the reluctant boy home with him. Obi-Wan said no more. Nevertheless he was just as angry with his master as his master was with him.
Xanatos kept quiet. He knew Master Jinn would think he had overstepped his boundaries if he said any more negative things about the little padawan.
Qui-Gon did not think twice about the man, Darrow, who missed their appointment. Right now he had an out-of-control padawan too deal with.
Qui-Gon was yelling for Obi-Wan to stop in the common room to talk with him, but the command went unheeded by Obi. He continued into his bedroom and slammed the door. Jinn heard the lock on the door click.
"Evidently he actually thinks that a mere lock is going to stop me from going in there."
Xanatos was not sure if his master was talking to him or just saying his thoughts out loud. He did not respond to the comment.
Even before Jinn got the entire sentence out, he could here things being thrown around the room. Qui-Gon was afraid that Obi-Wan would destroy Lord Crion's guest room so he had no choice but to follow the boy into his bedroom and stop him from throwing whatever he was throwing.
Xanatos sat down in the common room, stretched out his long legs, put his hands behind his head, and chuckled ever so quietly too himself..
If nothing else, this evening should prove to be interesting. I have never seen Master so angry at anyone in all my life. I would say "little" Obi-Wan is in for it now……….
PEACE ewen