This was inspired by Ice Age and Taking Care of Reno (by Desha). I don't know when exactly it's supposed to be happening, maybe sometime during the game before the Meteor incident or after in some parallel dimension where Rufus and Tseng or still alive. ^_^ he he, or like some (or most) authors, I'm completely ignoring the fact that the two are dead.^_~

Disclaimer: I don't own 'nyone. ^_~

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"DAMMIT RENO!" Reno chuckled to himself as his female co-worker stormed into the room in her bathrobe, her short blonde hair scattered messily around her face and her brown eyes shining.

"WHAT THE HELL'D YOU DO WITH MY CLOTHES!?" Elena screamed again at the red-haired Turk. "Why Elena, what makes you think I took them?" the accused Reno asked innocently, thoroughly enjoying her distress. "What makes me think you didn't?" She seethed. "I'm not the only one in this house you know"

"Are you implying that maybe Rude or Tseng took them?"

"It's a possibility"

"You're an even bigger jackass than I thought"

"Shaddap! Look who's talking Little-Miss-Big-Mouth!" That sent the two into a whole new wave of insults, bringing up past incidents that had nothing to do with the given situation, just anything that might infuriate the other.

"Dammit, can't you two be quiet for 5 MINUTES?" grunted Rude upon entering the small living room.

"Of course, haven't you heard us sleep?"

"…"

"Hey, Rude…nice outfit." Rude frowned and looked down, followed by Elena. Rude stared. Elena gaped. Reno laughed/sniggered.

"P-P-P-PERVERT!!!!"

"RENO!!!!!"

***

Tseng gritted his teeth and pulled the pillow harder over his head. It still didn't block out the loud curses, crashes and screams of "Pervert!" from the other rooms. 'Two weeks. All I ask for is two weeks. What did I do to deserve this?' The black-haired Turk pulled the pillow down harder and curled into a ball, but it wouldn't do any good. Deciding that his morning was ruined anyway, Tseng growled and crawled out of bed, not even bothering to change.

He ducked as a vase flew overhead and hit the wall behind him, shattering into pieces and flying glass everywhere.

Put lightly, the room looked like a stampede had run through it.

The curtains were in tatters, furniture was tipped over and broken, broken lamps and other glass pieces were scattered around the floor, the door was wide open; letting in the snow and cold and there was a substance that looked suspiciously like food on the walls. There was also a very large hole over the fireplace. In the midst of all this; Reno, Elena, and Rude had taken cover behind various large objects and were hurling anything they could get their hands on (In Rude's case, Elena's clothing, which Reno thought would be amusing to put on him while he was asleep). Reno, of course, was the only one who seemed to be enjoying the whole war, and only laughed harder at Elena's death threats and Rude's promises of intense pain.

A little vein in Tseng's forehead twitched, his stomach rumbled, and he felt the beginnings of a migraine. "Elena! Rude! RENOOOOOO!" he roared. The three stopped in mid-throw, Elena kicked Rude, who dropped her bra he'd been planning to throw next at Reno.

"I am not in the mood for such behavior from you this early in the morning" 'or anytime for that matter' he added mentally, "and I'm appalled at the manner of which you three are conducting yourselves. You are TURKS, and such manners will not be tolerated. Now clean this stuff up and make some breakfast."

"Um, sir?"

"Yes Elena?"

"Um, Reno kind of used the food for ammunition" She declined from telling him about the suspicious looking container they had hid in the back of the fridge that only Reno had touched after putting on three layers of rubber gloves.

The vein over Tseng's eye twitched violently and Reno grabbed Elena's arm whispering, "Just clean up and shut up."

***

Three and a half hours later, the four Turks sat around the table in the kitchen, three of them looking considerably sleepier than when they'd woken up that morning. The cabin had resumed its tidy state and looked even better than before the fight (except for the lack of furniture that they'd had when they'd first rented the cabin). Tseng had calmed down a bit and the vein on his forehead had vanished. Now it was just the matter of food.

"It was Reno who threw the food, it should be Reno to get it"

"Who was it who stated throwing things in the first place?!"

"…"

"Whose the one who decided to go through my dresser and put my clothes on Rude?!"

"…!"

"Whose the one who suggested coming here in the first place?!"

"Who pissed off Rufus?!

"Who was it who turned on the fire alarm?!"
"Who was it who was smoking with the windows closed?!"

"Who was it who burned the hole through the desk while TRYING to clean it?!

"No one told you to puke over it!"

"No one told you to use anything given to you by Hojo!"

"No one told me I wasn't supposed to!"

"You were supposed to know that yourself!"

"Where not!"

"Where too!"

"Where not!"

"Where too!"

"Where NOT!"

"Where TOO!"

"…"

"EVERYBODY SHUT UP!" Elena jumped and sat down, but glared at Reno who glared back. Tseng looked ready to kill. "Elena, you go get the food-"

"But sir!"

"Not 'buts'! Rude will go with you"

"…"

"Reno will stay here and try not to get into trouble"

"Shut up Reno" Elena snapped at the smug look on Reno's face.

"Why Elena-"

"Shove it Reno." She stood up and stomped out of the room, making sure to slam the door behind her. Tseng raised his eyebrow, "She PMSing or what?" The red-haired Turk shook with laughter while Rude shook his bald head and stood up. Tseng followed suit and walked out behind him, but not before sticking his head in to glare at Reno. "I'm going to take a nap, think you can survive a few hours without tearing the house apart?"

"Of course" Reno answered, still shaking with laughter at his boss' earlier remark. Tseng rolled his eyes and walked out toward his room, passing Elena and Rude just as they were getting ready to leave. "Bring back some aspirin too, okay?"

"And some booze!" Reno hollered. Tseng smacked his head.

Very short chapter 1, I know, I promise the next one to be longer.