Qui-Gon left the turmoil riddled apartment for the serenity and sanctity of he and his former master's favorite garden. After he meditated for over an hour, he leaned back on his heels, looked up, and found Master Mace Windu looking down at him in quiet reflection.
"Were you looking for me?" Jinn looked up at is friend with a questioning gaze.
"Yes I was by your apartment and I commed you. I didn't get an answer to either so I thought I would look here. I know you and Master Yoda come here often when there are things you need to think on."
"So many things to think on Mace. How long have you been here?"
"About fifteen minutes or so. I didn't want to interrupt."
"Well I am glad you are here. I was going to seek you out after I meditated anyway. You have saved me a trip."
"What do you want of me?"
"Well first, I wished you had told me about telling Plo Koon Obi-Wan wanted to speak to the council. A warning so I could have headed off trouble would have been nice."
Mace's smile turned to a frown. He was afraid something would happen while Plo Koon was at last-meal.
"I take it things did not go well. I had hoped to let you know, but the chancellor came by and demanded to speak with a couple of council members. I am the one who got stuck in a an afternoon meeting of being chewed out for not finding the serial killer down in the lower levels. I guess neither you nor I have had a good day."
"No my day went as badly as yours evidently did. Well Master Plo Koon could have enough to burn Obi-Wan when he goes before the council. The boy was not exactly on his best behavior this evening. No I have seen him a lot more serene than he was tonight."
"That bad uhn? Well if there is any good news to all of this, it is that Master Yoda will return tomorrow sometime. We can't schedule a meeting with Obi-Wan before then anyway."
"Well I guess I should be thankful for that much."
"Were is Xanatos?"
"Oh he went over to visit Master Plo Koon. I guess he is milking the sympathy he can get from Master Plo Koon. You know he has to live with a demented padawan and a master who supposedly permits Obi-Wan to do what he wants?"
The words spoken about Xani shocked Mace. It was the first time he could remember that Qui had ever said anything negative about his older padawan.
"He said that?"
Mace knew that Jinn was upset over Xani spending time with Plo Koon. He was also surprised to know Xani wanted to go back after he spent the first part of the evening with Plo Koon already.
"You may have to curb your padawan's desire to seek another master's advice Qui. That is not good and will not look good before the council. I mean you already have Obi-Wan to deal with and if the council truly believes you are neglecting Xani for Obi then there could be problems trying to keep either of your padawans by your side."
Qui-Gon's legs were growing stiff from the prolonged kneeling position. He got up and faced Mace.
"The council could do that, take both of them away from me?"
"You know the council when it comes to padawans'. There first concern is protecting the young. Yes I think they would not hestiate to take one or both from you."
Qui-Gon was as downtrodden as anyone could be right now. The thought of losing both of his padawans whirled in his mind. He was developing a fierce headache and could not for the life of him think with clear thoughts.
"Well I will should go home and check on Obi-Wan. You certainly have given me extra things to think on Master Windu. I am not sure whether I should thank you or ring your neck."
Qui tried to lightened the atmosphere. He did not want his friend to know how badly he was shaken by the news he gave him.
"I am sorry Qui to be a bearer of bad news. I just want you to be more prepared for this meeting between Obi and the council. I only wished I could have let you know that Plo Koon had knowledge of Obi-Wan's request."
"No matter my friend, I will find a way to keep both padawans. I just need to rid myself of this headache so I can think more clearly that's all. Stop by in the morning for tea, maybe I will have resolved some of this mess by then."
Mace patted Jinn on the shoulder.
"I'll stop by. The best thing you could do right now is go home and get some well deserved rest. You will be able to think better with a rested mind."
When Qui-Gon returned home Xani was still out.
Jinn went into Obi-Wan's room . Without a word he wheeled the startled boy to the fresher and began to help with his bath. Everything was done with precise care as usual. The only difference, there was no pleasantries exchanged between the two as there normally was. Jinn helped Obi-Wan as if it were just a chore that must be done. Finished with the necessary things needed for bed, Jinn helped Obi-Wan back in his chair, wheeled him to the common room where his hospital bed was, and started to put him in his bed.
"May I sit by the window a while longer in my chair?"
The boy who sounded like an adult earlier in the day had reverted back to sounding like nothing more than a small child that begged to be allowed to stay up longer. Jinn's heart broke when he heard the small quivering voice of Obi-Wans', but still he would not bend to it.
He answered him with the same curt voice as he had used while they were in the fresher.
"Very well. I have to shower and have some tea. Call me when you need help to get into bed."
Nothing more, Obi-Wan hoped his master would broach the subject of what happened at last-meal. He wanted to apologize but the stubborn streak in him wouldn't allow him to start the conversation. He almost wanted to beg for his master's forgiveness.
Jinn showered and put on a crisp fresh pair of sleep pants. He went to the kitchen and returned to the common room. He had to go through where Obi-Wan sat to get to his bedroom.
He paused only a moment to see Obi-Wan still staring aimlessly out the window. Qui wanted to say something but instead he took his tea and went to his room, leaving Obi-Wan with his thoughts whirling maddeningly through his head.
Jinn finished his tea and tried to get interested in a book he had been reading earlier in the week. A very soft knock was heard by the master.
"Come in."
There before Jinn sat Obi-Wan in his hover chair.
"Is there something you want Obi-Wan?"
Qui-Gon tried to make his voice sound calm yet indifferent. He did not want his padawan to know how excited he was that Obi-Wan had decided to come in his room, he hoped to talk..
"I called to you once to let you know I was ready for bed, but I don't think you could hear me."
Jinn fought to hide his disappointment and he was careful not to show that disappointment by his facial expression. Obi-Wan only wanted to go to bed, not talk as Master Jinn thought. Obi edged his way closer to the bed almost beside it where his master sat.
"Well if that is all you want I think I can help you now. I must have been engrossed in this book and did not here you."
The words between the two were cordial but nothing was said that would help the matter between them.
Obi-Wan put his hand out and smoothed the crisp cotton comforter Jinn had on top of his bed. The patterns of green and blue on white made little swirls all over the cover and Obi-Wan sat for a few seconds tracing those swirls,his mind far away and deep in thought.
Jinn got up and put his hands on the back hand grips of Obi-Wan's hover chair. He lingered a moment to let the boy continue to trace the patterns of his bedspread. The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin dropped.
"I remember doing this for what seemed like hours last year. Remember master?"
Jinn realized the boy had just remembered part of his past again but he didn't draw attention to it. He felt for some reason Obi-Wan wanted to talk and he was not going to stop him. Obi-Wan needed this time to tell his master whatever he felt like. Jinn had a deep down to the core feeling that this could very well be Obi-Wan's breaking point. He felt his padawan had something he needed to get off his chest and he would allow him to continue uninterrupted.
With a smile to his apprentice, Jinn let him know he did remember that time.
"You mean when you had the tavarian flu and I let you sleep with me when you were so ill? Yes Obi-Wan I remember that quite well.That comforter had to be sent to the cleaners more than once that week."
"Yea sorry about that. By the time I realized I had to throw up it was already there."
Obi smiled with remembrance.
"When I started to feel better I got so bored in here I just sat and traced the patterns. I could have gone to my room where there was more to do, but even after I felt better, I still felt safer being in your rooom even if you weren't here with me."
Jinn's heart ached to have those times back.
"Yes little one I remember that time well and now so do you."
Obi-Wan instantly got his meaning to that sentence. He was remembering his past right there and did not realize it. The most important part of that little piece of memory was that Obi-Wan remembered how much Master Qui-Gon Jinn loved him, back when he was so very ill. //The same must be true, now,// thought the little padawan.
Obi-Wan dropped his head and the tears that had been coming and going all day rushed out. The stream of tears dripped on the swirled patterns of the spread. Obi-Wan tried to wipe them away but each one wiped by his tunic sleeve was replaced by even more. They refused too stop. Qui-Gon went to the front of the chair and knelt down in front of Obi-Wan. He gently caught a couple of the tears with his big callused thumb but even he could not handle all the tears that were falling. The hitching and catching of Obi-Wan's voice told the master Obi had lost all control of his emotions. He seemed almost inconsolable.
Jinn picked the boy up out of the chair as easily and tenderly as he would pick a babe up from a crèche cradle. He placed Obi-Wan on the bed as the boy's body trembled from the sobs being torn from his body. He settled against the headboard, half sitting half laying, Obi-Wan rested against his chest. The child turned his tear stained face into the massive chest of his master, buried it deeply in the oversized sleep shirt of Qui-Gon's, and cried uncontrollably. Jinn smoothed his hair and whispered calming words in his ear. He rocked his apprentice back and forth, wrapped in the safety of his arms just as he did when Obi-Wan lived in the crèche and would become ill when he was only two or three years old. Obi seemed to crave his master's loving attention.
A conversation between master and apprentice was not needed right now. Jinn pulled the blue green spread with swirls over the two and Obi-Wan cried until there no more tears to cry. The trembling and shaking was harder to stop. Nevertheless not long after the tears ceased, Obi gained control of the spasm of emotions that seized him.
There was no need for either padawan or master to say they were sorry. It seemed they both understood that neither had anything to be truly sorry for. Without another word being uttered by either the master or apprentice, both fell into a dreamless, uninterrupted, and well needed sleep………………..
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Last night marked the first time Master Jinn had ever fallen asleep without knowing his padawan was safely at home. He had no real concern for Xani because he knew he stayed within the confines of the temple that evening and he was with a council master, Plo Koon.
Jinn eased Obi-Wan off his legs and got up to walk the sleep out of them. They were numb from holding Obi-Wan all night long in his arms.
He went to the kitchen to fix tea and found Xanatos already up and had the tea made.
"Here master, I fixed your tea for you."
"Thank you Xani. I could use it. I slept like a rock."
"Why did you put Obi-Wan in his own room? Was he getting on your nerves?"
Jinn felt uneasy about telling Xani that Obi-Wan had stayed in his room last night. He did not know the reason for the uneasiness but it was there. Still the master would not lie to his padawan.
"No I didn't put Obi-Wan in his room."
It was quite clear to Xani where Obi-wan had been last night and he didn't give his master time to finish what he was trying to say.
"Oh the precious little rat wormed his way into your room someway. Master you are so gullible. I suppose he's told you how sorry he was and that it wouldn't ever happen again. R_I_G_H_T."
"Xani why are you so negative when it comes to Obi-Wan?"
Jinn held his temper. He really had no desire to argue with anyone this day. It started out too good and he wanted it to continue that way.
"Because Master I have stood by and watched Obi-Wan turn you inside out with the emotional turmoil he makes between the two of you. He showed no compassion for you last night when he made you look like a bumbling idiot of a master who could not control a child. Like you told me he's fifteen, how can you let him rule you."
"I don't think I do. I think we both have been under a lot of pressure for a lot of reasons. We have reached common ground on this and I think you should be happy for your old master. Although things are not all corrrectd between us, I think there is more of a chance now that they can be."
"Oh I see Obi-Wan can change his mind and disrupt our lives anytime he wants. Master Plo Koon is right when he said…."
Xani knew he had spoken out of line. He should have never let his master know that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had been a topic of conversation between he and Plo Koon the night before.
Jinn looked down at his padawan. He stuck his hands in the large sleeves of his robes and gripped each of his arms. He tried not to show what he really felt, betrayed.
"Oh I see. Is that what kept you at Master Plo Koon's so long. You had a long discussion about Obi-Wan and your master. Is that customary Padawan Crion? You go to a council master and whine about your own master."
Jinn was not handling this situation exactly as he wanted too. He wanted to remain indifferent, to sound callous, but his words spoke volumes for what he thought, He was beyond anger. The only thing that held him together at all was the force which he reached for and held onto.
"It's not like you think master. Master Plo Koon just brought up the fact that Obi-Wan has asked for an audience in front of the council to have his bond broken with you. Master Plo Koon said that after he tells the council what he witnessed from Obi-Wan, his dismissal would be almost assured."
"Almost assured that Obi-Wan will be dismissed just as you are almost assured by Master Plo Koon that you will be knighted. How convenient for Master Plo Koon and for you."
"Master I don't think you are being far to Master Plo Koon. For sith's sake master, he saved my life."
"Yes and he wants to take Obi-Wan's. Should I be thankful for that?"
"I think once Obi-Wan is sent away you might be glad, master. Don't you see without Obi-Wan you and I can go on missions together. Only it will not be master and padawan, it will be master and knight. We can travel the galaxies as equals; spreading the goodwill of the Jedi, just you and I."
"Sounds selfish of you Xani. I am not sure I can be that selfish. You want me to abandon Obi-Wan in favor of traveling the worlds with you? I should have no other thought about the boy?"
Jinn had gotten Xani to open up and he kept leading him down the road to betray his own feelings about Obi-Wan. He wanted to know all of what Xanatos had planned for him since he had no say in the matter when Xani was dreaming up this ridiculous scheme of his.
"Where you going to ask me if I wanted to do this, or were you just going to have your council friend just demand you and I go on a mission together."
"Of course not master. For all I know, I suspect Plo Koon would like to go on missions with me, but I would rather the master be you."
"Should I feel flattered?"
Now there was no denying it. Xani could hear the scarsacm and growing anger in his master's voice
"Master you have it all wrong. Master Plo Koon has nothing but the utmost respect for you. He said with Obi-Wan out of the picture you could go on your diplomatic missions, something you were really good at. He said that once Obi-Wan was gone for awhile you would not miss him at all. You would have your freedom, no major responsibility trying to raise a child with as many obstacles as Obi-Wan has to conquer. Then if he recovers he can come back and do something at the temple. Master Plo Koon thinks he will never reach abilities needed to be an apprentice but he said there is work that can be done at the temple that would keep the boy busy."
"Seems you and Master Plo Koon have Obi-wan and my life mapped out down to every little detail. There is quite possibly one or two things you forgot."
Qui-Gon couldn't stop staring at Xanatos. He wondered if he ever knew this man who stood before him. Xanatos now, was not the Padawan Xani he raised to almost knighthood. Jinn somehow realized Xanatos had turned into an entirely different person. No, he didn't know "this" Padawan Crion at all and didn't think he wanted too.
Xani had gotten excited telling his master of his plans. He got so wrapped up in it he imagined that his master was truly considering it.
"What have I forgotten master?"
"You forgot to ask Obi-Wan or me if that is what we want, your map of our lives. It could be that either he or I have other plans."
Now it was Xani's turn to be angry. He hopped up from his chair. He realized his master did not like any of his ideas.
"Maybe you will be able not to do as I had hoped., but you can forget about your Obi-Wan. Master Plo Koon has more than assured me the kid is out of the Jedi. Even if he asks not to see the council, Plo Koon plans to pull him before them, humiliate him, and then have him thrown out of the Jedi order, put in that home where he can draw pretty pictures and water color to his heart's desire."
"Has being around Plo Koon done this to you Xani? I have never known you to be so cruel? I could never even fathom that you could carry such hatred in your heart. Is this the way you want us to end our relationship?"
That should have given Xanatos a clue as to what was about too happen, but it didn't.
"I don't want our relationship to end master. I never want it too end. You won't ever see my things my way. You are letting Obi-Wan drag you down. You even mentioned once leaving the order for him. I can't allow that master. You are too important too me."
"You can't allow. Who are you too allow anything Xanatos? You are not the master here, I am. I will care for Obi-Wan as long as need be."
Qui-Gon refused to utter the nickname Xani again, for this was not his "Xani".
Xanatos walked up to his master and looked at him eye to eye.
"Then I would suggest you pack your bags master. Because by the end of the week Obi-Wan Kenobi will no longer be a Jedi and Master Plo Koon is going to insist that your bond be broken as well, whether you follow the boy to the rehab center or not. Let me assure you master,The bond will be broken before Obi-Wan is shipped away. Master Plo Koon has promised me as much."
Xanatos left the stunned master in the small kitchen. He left the apartment to go talk too, of course, Plo Koon.
Being a true Jedi as Master Jinn was, he fell to his knees right in the middle of the kitchen and reached for the force to help him release all his anger out of his very soul. He mediated with his head bowed for about five minutes as he allowed his own tears to slip soundlessly down his bearded cheeks. He sucked in a deep breath, protectively raised his shields and held them there as tightly as he could, as he concentrated very hard. He summoned the force to assist him with the task before him. He already knew that task was right. The force itself demanded it of the broken hearted master.
Xani walked down the hall quite pleased with himself. He whistled a little tune as he walked to Master Plo Koon's.
Suddenly and without any warning the padawan dropped to his knees and grabbed each side of his head. The pain was excruciating. He knew instantly what it was. Just as suddenly as the pain hit, Jinn's aura in his mind was replaced by hollow emptiness. Xani had been shielding from his master, but there was always a place in his mind where his master's aura dwelled, but not any more. Master Qui-Gon Jinn had broken the training bond he had with Padawan Xanatos Crion……………………………
It was quite possibly the hardest thing Qui-Gon Jinn had ever done. He intentionally broke the bond he had shared with Xanatos Crion, his oldest padawan. The bond was not a strong one because it had been broken before when Xani went off to fight a civil war on his home world.
Qui-Gon got up from his kneeling position just as he heard Obi-Wan call to him. His youngest padawan was just awaking and Jinn went to help him out of bed.
The master shook off a feeling of sadness. It was always sad to break a bond which was usually broken when a padawan reached knighthood. He had to break the bond with Xanatos because after listening to him he realized he was totally against Obi-Wan being his apprentice any longer and that he might actually harm the boy to keep him from staying at the temple. Jinn was sure Xanatos must have been influenced by Master Plo Koon.
//Surely Xanatos did not build up this hatred for Obi-Wan all be himself. He must have had help to build that much venomous feelings toward my padawan. But I could not let it go on.//
His thoughts of what he had done had to be put back on the back burner. Obi-Wan needed him now and that was the most important thing in his life and he was going to see to it this time that he and obi-Wan did not mess up. They would find a way to stay together.
Xanatos became more alert, shook the feeling of emptiness off and got up from the middle of one of the halls in the temple. He was passed by a couple of young padawans who glared at him with confusion for being on his hands and knees in the middle of a hall.
The shock of breaking the bond was one that Xani had not expected as he had the last time it was broken. The emptiness in his mind was unwelcome at the moment but the resentment for his master would soon overtake that emptiness and fill his mind with hatred and visions of revenge. He would see to it that his master paid for this embarrassment, for that is what it would be when the council and the rest of the temple found out what Jinn had down.
Having a bond broken by a master in the way Jinn did it normally brought shame on that padawan. It was not a good thing at all.
//This had better interfere with my knighthood. No I don't think Master Plo Koon will let it. I will go tell him now what's happened.//
Qui-Gon straightened his tunic before he entered his bedroom where Obi-Wan had slept.
"Hi master. I didn't even hear you when you got up."
"Well I had to wake my legs up from where you slept on them all night. Ready for some break-fast and some conversation?"
Qui-Gon knew he had to once and for all settle things between them. It was even more important now that they did so because of what he had done. He had committed himself to what he planned to do. He in a sense had chosen Obi-Wan Kenobi over Xanatos Crion. He could not let Xani tear down any progress Obi-Wan might make any longer. He just hoped all this was for nothing. He hoped that Obi-Wan did want them together.
Jinn lifted the boy up out of bed with ease. Obi-Wan's arms around his master remained there a little longer than necessary before Obi-Wan released his grip on his master. There was a need for physical contact and Qui-Gon allowed the boy to hug him as long as Obi-Wan felt necessary.
"I have had a lot of memories in bits and pieces come to me this morning. That is why I took so long getting up. I laid here and went over each and every little memory I had of my past."
"That's excellent. Now if only if we can get you back in your rehab program and get your legs moving as they should. You know I think with things coming back to you so quickly it will be only a couple of more days before I can take the force bracelet off of you. Then I will be able to help you learn to manipulate the force in a correct Jedi manner. Things are looking up for us Obi."
"Yes well I only hope I have not added to the problems with what I said last night and asking for an audience before the council. Will that be to hard to fix master?"
Jinn could hear the concern in his apprentice's voice. He too had concerns about the meeting in front of the council, but he would not let Obi-Wan know that. He wanted the day to go well for his apprentice even if it had been awful for him; not because of Obi-Wan but because of what he had to do to Xanatos.
"No, don't worry about it Obi-Wan. Let me take care of everything. Besides Master Yoda will be back today and he will be on our side I am sure. You worry about getting better and let me take care of the matter with the council."
Qui-Gon did not think it was the time to tell Obi-Wan about Xanatos. He wanted to talk to Xanatos before he talked to Obi. It might have seemed like a cowardly way to have broken the bond but when Xani walked out, Jinn knew at that very moment what he must do, and he did it. He knew he would also tell Xanatos that he would have to pack his things to move. Qui-Gon did not want him around Obi-Wan anymore than was necessary.
Master Plo Koon was livid in his condemnation of Jinn when he heard that Qui-Gon had broken his training bond with Xanatos. A master is allowed at any time to break the bond. It would have been better if Qui-Gon had told Xani first but because he didn't, did not mean it would not carry any weight against Master Jinn if Plo Koon did haul him up before the council. The council themselves would question Jinn's judgment, but when all was said and done, they would not sanction the master for it. No, he had a better idea. He would champion Xanatos' cause in front of the council. Master Jinn should not have any qualms about allowing Xanatos to become a knight.
//Surely Master Jinn and Xani's relationship hasn't deteriorated that far yet//.
Master Plo Koon knew well that Jinn could use Xanatos as a pawn. If he tried to have Obi-Wan put out of the temple then Jinn could try to put forth his objection to allow Xani his knighthood. The knife had a double edged blade where blackmail was concerned, but Master Koon would almost bet his life that Jinn would not lower himself to do anything unJedi-like. Jinn would not deny Xani his knighthood just because Plo Koon would battle to have Obi-Wan thrown out of the temple; the very temple that had been his home since he was two years old.
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Master Yoda stepped off the little rickety ship that had brought him to his beloved temple. Now Master Yoda being a Jedi for over eight hundred years and attuned with the force for just as many, was well aware that there were problems within the temple. He could feel them through the force. He also could feel along the thin thread of a bond that he and Qui-Gon still shared that the problems centered around his most beloved former padawan, Qui-Gon Jinn.
Trouble he finds no matter were he goes. Up to me he probably thinks to solve it I will.
Master Yoda knew deep in his heart that if Qui-Gon needed him he would be there for him as it always was and as it should be. The fondness for his last padawan only increased with years.
Master Yoda had a padawan put his valise in his quarters and went to seek Qui-Gon. He was curious as to what was going on at the temple that would create such rumbling through the force. Something almost evil had occurred to someone inside the temple walls and Master Yoda planned to get to the bottom of this. Of course he did not think the evilness had anything to do directly with Qui-Gon, but he got the feeling that Jinn was linked in some way to the evilness. He let the training bond he still shared with Qui-Gon steer him in the right direction to Master Jinn. He found him quickly.
"Know I do trouble of some kind you have found. Much disturbance in the force behind these walls. Get to the bottom of this I will. Tell me now what need of me you have."Leave it to Master Yoda to be abrupt and to the point. Qui-Gon affectionately smiled at his old master.
"Why Master Yoda don't you have a hello for me before you start your inquisition? Why would you think I am in trouble and need your help?"
"Mock me you will not Master Jinn. Too the point you will be now. What trouble have you found yourself in this time?"………………….
PEACE ewen
"Were you looking for me?" Jinn looked up at is friend with a questioning gaze.
"Yes I was by your apartment and I commed you. I didn't get an answer to either so I thought I would look here. I know you and Master Yoda come here often when there are things you need to think on."
"So many things to think on Mace. How long have you been here?"
"About fifteen minutes or so. I didn't want to interrupt."
"Well I am glad you are here. I was going to seek you out after I meditated anyway. You have saved me a trip."
"What do you want of me?"
"Well first, I wished you had told me about telling Plo Koon Obi-Wan wanted to speak to the council. A warning so I could have headed off trouble would have been nice."
Mace's smile turned to a frown. He was afraid something would happen while Plo Koon was at last-meal.
"I take it things did not go well. I had hoped to let you know, but the chancellor came by and demanded to speak with a couple of council members. I am the one who got stuck in a an afternoon meeting of being chewed out for not finding the serial killer down in the lower levels. I guess neither you nor I have had a good day."
"No my day went as badly as yours evidently did. Well Master Plo Koon could have enough to burn Obi-Wan when he goes before the council. The boy was not exactly on his best behavior this evening. No I have seen him a lot more serene than he was tonight."
"That bad uhn? Well if there is any good news to all of this, it is that Master Yoda will return tomorrow sometime. We can't schedule a meeting with Obi-Wan before then anyway."
"Well I guess I should be thankful for that much."
"Were is Xanatos?"
"Oh he went over to visit Master Plo Koon. I guess he is milking the sympathy he can get from Master Plo Koon. You know he has to live with a demented padawan and a master who supposedly permits Obi-Wan to do what he wants?"
The words spoken about Xani shocked Mace. It was the first time he could remember that Qui had ever said anything negative about his older padawan.
"He said that?"
Mace knew that Jinn was upset over Xani spending time with Plo Koon. He was also surprised to know Xani wanted to go back after he spent the first part of the evening with Plo Koon already.
"You may have to curb your padawan's desire to seek another master's advice Qui. That is not good and will not look good before the council. I mean you already have Obi-Wan to deal with and if the council truly believes you are neglecting Xani for Obi then there could be problems trying to keep either of your padawans by your side."
Qui-Gon's legs were growing stiff from the prolonged kneeling position. He got up and faced Mace.
"The council could do that, take both of them away from me?"
"You know the council when it comes to padawans'. There first concern is protecting the young. Yes I think they would not hestiate to take one or both from you."
Qui-Gon was as downtrodden as anyone could be right now. The thought of losing both of his padawans whirled in his mind. He was developing a fierce headache and could not for the life of him think with clear thoughts.
"Well I will should go home and check on Obi-Wan. You certainly have given me extra things to think on Master Windu. I am not sure whether I should thank you or ring your neck."
Qui tried to lightened the atmosphere. He did not want his friend to know how badly he was shaken by the news he gave him.
"I am sorry Qui to be a bearer of bad news. I just want you to be more prepared for this meeting between Obi and the council. I only wished I could have let you know that Plo Koon had knowledge of Obi-Wan's request."
"No matter my friend, I will find a way to keep both padawans. I just need to rid myself of this headache so I can think more clearly that's all. Stop by in the morning for tea, maybe I will have resolved some of this mess by then."
Mace patted Jinn on the shoulder.
"I'll stop by. The best thing you could do right now is go home and get some well deserved rest. You will be able to think better with a rested mind."
When Qui-Gon returned home Xani was still out.
Jinn went into Obi-Wan's room . Without a word he wheeled the startled boy to the fresher and began to help with his bath. Everything was done with precise care as usual. The only difference, there was no pleasantries exchanged between the two as there normally was. Jinn helped Obi-Wan as if it were just a chore that must be done. Finished with the necessary things needed for bed, Jinn helped Obi-Wan back in his chair, wheeled him to the common room where his hospital bed was, and started to put him in his bed.
"May I sit by the window a while longer in my chair?"
The boy who sounded like an adult earlier in the day had reverted back to sounding like nothing more than a small child that begged to be allowed to stay up longer. Jinn's heart broke when he heard the small quivering voice of Obi-Wans', but still he would not bend to it.
He answered him with the same curt voice as he had used while they were in the fresher.
"Very well. I have to shower and have some tea. Call me when you need help to get into bed."
Nothing more, Obi-Wan hoped his master would broach the subject of what happened at last-meal. He wanted to apologize but the stubborn streak in him wouldn't allow him to start the conversation. He almost wanted to beg for his master's forgiveness.
Jinn showered and put on a crisp fresh pair of sleep pants. He went to the kitchen and returned to the common room. He had to go through where Obi-Wan sat to get to his bedroom.
He paused only a moment to see Obi-Wan still staring aimlessly out the window. Qui wanted to say something but instead he took his tea and went to his room, leaving Obi-Wan with his thoughts whirling maddeningly through his head.
Jinn finished his tea and tried to get interested in a book he had been reading earlier in the week. A very soft knock was heard by the master.
"Come in."
There before Jinn sat Obi-Wan in his hover chair.
"Is there something you want Obi-Wan?"
Qui-Gon tried to make his voice sound calm yet indifferent. He did not want his padawan to know how excited he was that Obi-Wan had decided to come in his room, he hoped to talk..
"I called to you once to let you know I was ready for bed, but I don't think you could hear me."
Jinn fought to hide his disappointment and he was careful not to show that disappointment by his facial expression. Obi-Wan only wanted to go to bed, not talk as Master Jinn thought. Obi edged his way closer to the bed almost beside it where his master sat.
"Well if that is all you want I think I can help you now. I must have been engrossed in this book and did not here you."
The words between the two were cordial but nothing was said that would help the matter between them.
Obi-Wan put his hand out and smoothed the crisp cotton comforter Jinn had on top of his bed. The patterns of green and blue on white made little swirls all over the cover and Obi-Wan sat for a few seconds tracing those swirls,his mind far away and deep in thought.
Jinn got up and put his hands on the back hand grips of Obi-Wan's hover chair. He lingered a moment to let the boy continue to trace the patterns of his bedspread. The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin dropped.
"I remember doing this for what seemed like hours last year. Remember master?"
Jinn realized the boy had just remembered part of his past again but he didn't draw attention to it. He felt for some reason Obi-Wan wanted to talk and he was not going to stop him. Obi-Wan needed this time to tell his master whatever he felt like. Jinn had a deep down to the core feeling that this could very well be Obi-Wan's breaking point. He felt his padawan had something he needed to get off his chest and he would allow him to continue uninterrupted.
With a smile to his apprentice, Jinn let him know he did remember that time.
"You mean when you had the tavarian flu and I let you sleep with me when you were so ill? Yes Obi-Wan I remember that quite well.That comforter had to be sent to the cleaners more than once that week."
"Yea sorry about that. By the time I realized I had to throw up it was already there."
Obi smiled with remembrance.
"When I started to feel better I got so bored in here I just sat and traced the patterns. I could have gone to my room where there was more to do, but even after I felt better, I still felt safer being in your rooom even if you weren't here with me."
Jinn's heart ached to have those times back.
"Yes little one I remember that time well and now so do you."
Obi-Wan instantly got his meaning to that sentence. He was remembering his past right there and did not realize it. The most important part of that little piece of memory was that Obi-Wan remembered how much Master Qui-Gon Jinn loved him, back when he was so very ill. //The same must be true, now,// thought the little padawan.
Obi-Wan dropped his head and the tears that had been coming and going all day rushed out. The stream of tears dripped on the swirled patterns of the spread. Obi-Wan tried to wipe them away but each one wiped by his tunic sleeve was replaced by even more. They refused too stop. Qui-Gon went to the front of the chair and knelt down in front of Obi-Wan. He gently caught a couple of the tears with his big callused thumb but even he could not handle all the tears that were falling. The hitching and catching of Obi-Wan's voice told the master Obi had lost all control of his emotions. He seemed almost inconsolable.
Jinn picked the boy up out of the chair as easily and tenderly as he would pick a babe up from a crèche cradle. He placed Obi-Wan on the bed as the boy's body trembled from the sobs being torn from his body. He settled against the headboard, half sitting half laying, Obi-Wan rested against his chest. The child turned his tear stained face into the massive chest of his master, buried it deeply in the oversized sleep shirt of Qui-Gon's, and cried uncontrollably. Jinn smoothed his hair and whispered calming words in his ear. He rocked his apprentice back and forth, wrapped in the safety of his arms just as he did when Obi-Wan lived in the crèche and would become ill when he was only two or three years old. Obi seemed to crave his master's loving attention.
A conversation between master and apprentice was not needed right now. Jinn pulled the blue green spread with swirls over the two and Obi-Wan cried until there no more tears to cry. The trembling and shaking was harder to stop. Nevertheless not long after the tears ceased, Obi gained control of the spasm of emotions that seized him.
There was no need for either padawan or master to say they were sorry. It seemed they both understood that neither had anything to be truly sorry for. Without another word being uttered by either the master or apprentice, both fell into a dreamless, uninterrupted, and well needed sleep………………..
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Last night marked the first time Master Jinn had ever fallen asleep without knowing his padawan was safely at home. He had no real concern for Xani because he knew he stayed within the confines of the temple that evening and he was with a council master, Plo Koon.
Jinn eased Obi-Wan off his legs and got up to walk the sleep out of them. They were numb from holding Obi-Wan all night long in his arms.
He went to the kitchen to fix tea and found Xanatos already up and had the tea made.
"Here master, I fixed your tea for you."
"Thank you Xani. I could use it. I slept like a rock."
"Why did you put Obi-Wan in his own room? Was he getting on your nerves?"
Jinn felt uneasy about telling Xani that Obi-Wan had stayed in his room last night. He did not know the reason for the uneasiness but it was there. Still the master would not lie to his padawan.
"No I didn't put Obi-Wan in his room."
It was quite clear to Xani where Obi-wan had been last night and he didn't give his master time to finish what he was trying to say.
"Oh the precious little rat wormed his way into your room someway. Master you are so gullible. I suppose he's told you how sorry he was and that it wouldn't ever happen again. R_I_G_H_T."
"Xani why are you so negative when it comes to Obi-Wan?"
Jinn held his temper. He really had no desire to argue with anyone this day. It started out too good and he wanted it to continue that way.
"Because Master I have stood by and watched Obi-Wan turn you inside out with the emotional turmoil he makes between the two of you. He showed no compassion for you last night when he made you look like a bumbling idiot of a master who could not control a child. Like you told me he's fifteen, how can you let him rule you."
"I don't think I do. I think we both have been under a lot of pressure for a lot of reasons. We have reached common ground on this and I think you should be happy for your old master. Although things are not all corrrectd between us, I think there is more of a chance now that they can be."
"Oh I see Obi-Wan can change his mind and disrupt our lives anytime he wants. Master Plo Koon is right when he said…."
Xani knew he had spoken out of line. He should have never let his master know that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had been a topic of conversation between he and Plo Koon the night before.
Jinn looked down at his padawan. He stuck his hands in the large sleeves of his robes and gripped each of his arms. He tried not to show what he really felt, betrayed.
"Oh I see. Is that what kept you at Master Plo Koon's so long. You had a long discussion about Obi-Wan and your master. Is that customary Padawan Crion? You go to a council master and whine about your own master."
Jinn was not handling this situation exactly as he wanted too. He wanted to remain indifferent, to sound callous, but his words spoke volumes for what he thought, He was beyond anger. The only thing that held him together at all was the force which he reached for and held onto.
"It's not like you think master. Master Plo Koon just brought up the fact that Obi-Wan has asked for an audience in front of the council to have his bond broken with you. Master Plo Koon said that after he tells the council what he witnessed from Obi-Wan, his dismissal would be almost assured."
"Almost assured that Obi-Wan will be dismissed just as you are almost assured by Master Plo Koon that you will be knighted. How convenient for Master Plo Koon and for you."
"Master I don't think you are being far to Master Plo Koon. For sith's sake master, he saved my life."
"Yes and he wants to take Obi-Wan's. Should I be thankful for that?"
"I think once Obi-Wan is sent away you might be glad, master. Don't you see without Obi-Wan you and I can go on missions together. Only it will not be master and padawan, it will be master and knight. We can travel the galaxies as equals; spreading the goodwill of the Jedi, just you and I."
"Sounds selfish of you Xani. I am not sure I can be that selfish. You want me to abandon Obi-Wan in favor of traveling the worlds with you? I should have no other thought about the boy?"
Jinn had gotten Xani to open up and he kept leading him down the road to betray his own feelings about Obi-Wan. He wanted to know all of what Xanatos had planned for him since he had no say in the matter when Xani was dreaming up this ridiculous scheme of his.
"Where you going to ask me if I wanted to do this, or were you just going to have your council friend just demand you and I go on a mission together."
"Of course not master. For all I know, I suspect Plo Koon would like to go on missions with me, but I would rather the master be you."
"Should I feel flattered?"
Now there was no denying it. Xani could hear the scarsacm and growing anger in his master's voice
"Master you have it all wrong. Master Plo Koon has nothing but the utmost respect for you. He said with Obi-Wan out of the picture you could go on your diplomatic missions, something you were really good at. He said that once Obi-Wan was gone for awhile you would not miss him at all. You would have your freedom, no major responsibility trying to raise a child with as many obstacles as Obi-Wan has to conquer. Then if he recovers he can come back and do something at the temple. Master Plo Koon thinks he will never reach abilities needed to be an apprentice but he said there is work that can be done at the temple that would keep the boy busy."
"Seems you and Master Plo Koon have Obi-wan and my life mapped out down to every little detail. There is quite possibly one or two things you forgot."
Qui-Gon couldn't stop staring at Xanatos. He wondered if he ever knew this man who stood before him. Xanatos now, was not the Padawan Xani he raised to almost knighthood. Jinn somehow realized Xanatos had turned into an entirely different person. No, he didn't know "this" Padawan Crion at all and didn't think he wanted too.
Xani had gotten excited telling his master of his plans. He got so wrapped up in it he imagined that his master was truly considering it.
"What have I forgotten master?"
"You forgot to ask Obi-Wan or me if that is what we want, your map of our lives. It could be that either he or I have other plans."
Now it was Xani's turn to be angry. He hopped up from his chair. He realized his master did not like any of his ideas.
"Maybe you will be able not to do as I had hoped., but you can forget about your Obi-Wan. Master Plo Koon has more than assured me the kid is out of the Jedi. Even if he asks not to see the council, Plo Koon plans to pull him before them, humiliate him, and then have him thrown out of the Jedi order, put in that home where he can draw pretty pictures and water color to his heart's desire."
"Has being around Plo Koon done this to you Xani? I have never known you to be so cruel? I could never even fathom that you could carry such hatred in your heart. Is this the way you want us to end our relationship?"
That should have given Xanatos a clue as to what was about too happen, but it didn't.
"I don't want our relationship to end master. I never want it too end. You won't ever see my things my way. You are letting Obi-Wan drag you down. You even mentioned once leaving the order for him. I can't allow that master. You are too important too me."
"You can't allow. Who are you too allow anything Xanatos? You are not the master here, I am. I will care for Obi-Wan as long as need be."
Qui-Gon refused to utter the nickname Xani again, for this was not his "Xani".
Xanatos walked up to his master and looked at him eye to eye.
"Then I would suggest you pack your bags master. Because by the end of the week Obi-Wan Kenobi will no longer be a Jedi and Master Plo Koon is going to insist that your bond be broken as well, whether you follow the boy to the rehab center or not. Let me assure you master,The bond will be broken before Obi-Wan is shipped away. Master Plo Koon has promised me as much."
Xanatos left the stunned master in the small kitchen. He left the apartment to go talk too, of course, Plo Koon.
Being a true Jedi as Master Jinn was, he fell to his knees right in the middle of the kitchen and reached for the force to help him release all his anger out of his very soul. He mediated with his head bowed for about five minutes as he allowed his own tears to slip soundlessly down his bearded cheeks. He sucked in a deep breath, protectively raised his shields and held them there as tightly as he could, as he concentrated very hard. He summoned the force to assist him with the task before him. He already knew that task was right. The force itself demanded it of the broken hearted master.
Xani walked down the hall quite pleased with himself. He whistled a little tune as he walked to Master Plo Koon's.
Suddenly and without any warning the padawan dropped to his knees and grabbed each side of his head. The pain was excruciating. He knew instantly what it was. Just as suddenly as the pain hit, Jinn's aura in his mind was replaced by hollow emptiness. Xani had been shielding from his master, but there was always a place in his mind where his master's aura dwelled, but not any more. Master Qui-Gon Jinn had broken the training bond he had with Padawan Xanatos Crion……………………………
It was quite possibly the hardest thing Qui-Gon Jinn had ever done. He intentionally broke the bond he had shared with Xanatos Crion, his oldest padawan. The bond was not a strong one because it had been broken before when Xani went off to fight a civil war on his home world.
Qui-Gon got up from his kneeling position just as he heard Obi-Wan call to him. His youngest padawan was just awaking and Jinn went to help him out of bed.
The master shook off a feeling of sadness. It was always sad to break a bond which was usually broken when a padawan reached knighthood. He had to break the bond with Xanatos because after listening to him he realized he was totally against Obi-Wan being his apprentice any longer and that he might actually harm the boy to keep him from staying at the temple. Jinn was sure Xanatos must have been influenced by Master Plo Koon.
//Surely Xanatos did not build up this hatred for Obi-Wan all be himself. He must have had help to build that much venomous feelings toward my padawan. But I could not let it go on.//
His thoughts of what he had done had to be put back on the back burner. Obi-Wan needed him now and that was the most important thing in his life and he was going to see to it this time that he and obi-Wan did not mess up. They would find a way to stay together.
Xanatos became more alert, shook the feeling of emptiness off and got up from the middle of one of the halls in the temple. He was passed by a couple of young padawans who glared at him with confusion for being on his hands and knees in the middle of a hall.
The shock of breaking the bond was one that Xani had not expected as he had the last time it was broken. The emptiness in his mind was unwelcome at the moment but the resentment for his master would soon overtake that emptiness and fill his mind with hatred and visions of revenge. He would see to it that his master paid for this embarrassment, for that is what it would be when the council and the rest of the temple found out what Jinn had down.
Having a bond broken by a master in the way Jinn did it normally brought shame on that padawan. It was not a good thing at all.
//This had better interfere with my knighthood. No I don't think Master Plo Koon will let it. I will go tell him now what's happened.//
Qui-Gon straightened his tunic before he entered his bedroom where Obi-Wan had slept.
"Hi master. I didn't even hear you when you got up."
"Well I had to wake my legs up from where you slept on them all night. Ready for some break-fast and some conversation?"
Qui-Gon knew he had to once and for all settle things between them. It was even more important now that they did so because of what he had done. He had committed himself to what he planned to do. He in a sense had chosen Obi-Wan Kenobi over Xanatos Crion. He could not let Xani tear down any progress Obi-Wan might make any longer. He just hoped all this was for nothing. He hoped that Obi-Wan did want them together.
Jinn lifted the boy up out of bed with ease. Obi-Wan's arms around his master remained there a little longer than necessary before Obi-Wan released his grip on his master. There was a need for physical contact and Qui-Gon allowed the boy to hug him as long as Obi-Wan felt necessary.
"I have had a lot of memories in bits and pieces come to me this morning. That is why I took so long getting up. I laid here and went over each and every little memory I had of my past."
"That's excellent. Now if only if we can get you back in your rehab program and get your legs moving as they should. You know I think with things coming back to you so quickly it will be only a couple of more days before I can take the force bracelet off of you. Then I will be able to help you learn to manipulate the force in a correct Jedi manner. Things are looking up for us Obi."
"Yes well I only hope I have not added to the problems with what I said last night and asking for an audience before the council. Will that be to hard to fix master?"
Jinn could hear the concern in his apprentice's voice. He too had concerns about the meeting in front of the council, but he would not let Obi-Wan know that. He wanted the day to go well for his apprentice even if it had been awful for him; not because of Obi-Wan but because of what he had to do to Xanatos.
"No, don't worry about it Obi-Wan. Let me take care of everything. Besides Master Yoda will be back today and he will be on our side I am sure. You worry about getting better and let me take care of the matter with the council."
Qui-Gon did not think it was the time to tell Obi-Wan about Xanatos. He wanted to talk to Xanatos before he talked to Obi. It might have seemed like a cowardly way to have broken the bond but when Xani walked out, Jinn knew at that very moment what he must do, and he did it. He knew he would also tell Xanatos that he would have to pack his things to move. Qui-Gon did not want him around Obi-Wan anymore than was necessary.
Master Plo Koon was livid in his condemnation of Jinn when he heard that Qui-Gon had broken his training bond with Xanatos. A master is allowed at any time to break the bond. It would have been better if Qui-Gon had told Xani first but because he didn't, did not mean it would not carry any weight against Master Jinn if Plo Koon did haul him up before the council. The council themselves would question Jinn's judgment, but when all was said and done, they would not sanction the master for it. No, he had a better idea. He would champion Xanatos' cause in front of the council. Master Jinn should not have any qualms about allowing Xanatos to become a knight.
//Surely Master Jinn and Xani's relationship hasn't deteriorated that far yet//.
Master Plo Koon knew well that Jinn could use Xanatos as a pawn. If he tried to have Obi-Wan put out of the temple then Jinn could try to put forth his objection to allow Xani his knighthood. The knife had a double edged blade where blackmail was concerned, but Master Koon would almost bet his life that Jinn would not lower himself to do anything unJedi-like. Jinn would not deny Xani his knighthood just because Plo Koon would battle to have Obi-Wan thrown out of the temple; the very temple that had been his home since he was two years old.
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Master Yoda stepped off the little rickety ship that had brought him to his beloved temple. Now Master Yoda being a Jedi for over eight hundred years and attuned with the force for just as many, was well aware that there were problems within the temple. He could feel them through the force. He also could feel along the thin thread of a bond that he and Qui-Gon still shared that the problems centered around his most beloved former padawan, Qui-Gon Jinn.
Trouble he finds no matter were he goes. Up to me he probably thinks to solve it I will.
Master Yoda knew deep in his heart that if Qui-Gon needed him he would be there for him as it always was and as it should be. The fondness for his last padawan only increased with years.
Master Yoda had a padawan put his valise in his quarters and went to seek Qui-Gon. He was curious as to what was going on at the temple that would create such rumbling through the force. Something almost evil had occurred to someone inside the temple walls and Master Yoda planned to get to the bottom of this. Of course he did not think the evilness had anything to do directly with Qui-Gon, but he got the feeling that Jinn was linked in some way to the evilness. He let the training bond he still shared with Qui-Gon steer him in the right direction to Master Jinn. He found him quickly.
"Know I do trouble of some kind you have found. Much disturbance in the force behind these walls. Get to the bottom of this I will. Tell me now what need of me you have."Leave it to Master Yoda to be abrupt and to the point. Qui-Gon affectionately smiled at his old master.
"Why Master Yoda don't you have a hello for me before you start your inquisition? Why would you think I am in trouble and need your help?"
"Mock me you will not Master Jinn. Too the point you will be now. What trouble have you found yourself in this time?"………………….
PEACE ewen