Qui-Gon Jinn stood before the council members and passively eyed each and every master assembled. He let his eyes drift lazily from one member to the next until he reached the last one, Master Plo Koon. There he let his stare linger longer than with the others. He just wanted Master Plo Koon to know he had no fear of him whatsoever.
"Surely I mean no respect to any master seated before me, but I must question all of you why you feel you can condem or ask why I have broken the bond with Xanatos. I was never aware that the council became so vehemently involved in an action taken by a master when it came to his padawan unless an accusation of abuse had been leveled against them. Is that the case here?"
Mace did not like that the council had hauled Jinn before them for such a humiliating and in Mace's opinion libelous accusation but it had been done and he wanted to explain it to Qui-Gon.
"While it can not be called abuse Master Jinn, a council member has accused you of wantonly casting a worthy padawan aside because of your emotional envolvement of the other padawan who if medically does not improve may be asked to set aside his apprenticeship so you may have a padawan that can be trained."
"Excuse me Master Windu have I heard you correctly? You mean even if I do not have Xani as a padawan, you the council would expect me to give up Obi-Wan to take a new padawan?"
Eeth Koth who was in a sense in Jinn's corner and wanted him to fully explain what was going on so that maybe more of the masters would agree with Jinn.
"Master Jinn I am sure you are aware that there will be at least fifteen initiates hoping to find masters within the next two weeks. We expect every master without a padawan to at least consider the option to accept an apprentice this quarter. The temple hates to lose good potential padawans to the Agricorps just because of the lack of masters to train them."
"To be honest I did not know it was time for another "choosing". I have a padawan, so concern for the next set of intiiates were not my main priority."
"Then do you mean to lead us to believe that Obi-Wan will be substantially healed enough in the next two weeks that he can take his place as your true apprentice and be able to be sent on missions. That is what we need at this moment Jinn, qualified masters for the various missions not filled."
"Wow wait a minute Master Koth. You are laying a lot on a boy's head that has been without the force and the use of his legs. You know very well that Obi-Wan could not possibly be ready to take on a mission in two weeks."
Master Plo Koon wanted to try to tear down Jinn's defenses as soon as he could so he launched him with his opinion.
"So you opted to keep an invalid by your side when you had a more than competent padawan, soon-to be-knight that could have gone on a mission that we have tried to find a master/padawan team to take for two weeks. Is that not selfish of you Master Jinn? Even more so is it not selfish of your favored padawan to expect you to stay at the temple and baby him until he recovers, if he ever does?"
Obi-Wan's face grew scarlet in color from the condemantion he had just suffered by Plo Koon's less than thoughtful comments directed at him. Everyone in the council chambers could see Obi-Wan's stress as his face grew redder and redder with shame. It was Jinn though that could feel his distress and he tried to send waves of comfort to the boy. But with Obi-Wan's inability to feel the force, little of the comfort got too him. He at least knew his master had attempted to calm him.
Obi-Wan looked up with his eyes of azure and tried to smile but it was at best a half hearted attempt to let his master know he could handle the criticism and so Qui-Gon continued.
Qui-Gon was not without a touch of rosy cheeks as he started to speak again.
"I will recant to the council exactly what is going on here. I know Master Plo Koon will not have to listen as closely as the rest of you masters because he has had his nose stuck in my business long enough to know every little detail nasty or other wise of my private life between my padawans."
Mace covered his mouth with his hand to hide the smile that instantly formed on his face.
Yoda twitched his ears and shook his head. He then pounded his stick on the chamber floor.
"Enough it is Master Jinn. Dishonor a council master here in front of his piers and in this room you will not. Tell your side you will and have done with it."
Jinn knew his master would have to condem him for what he said. No matter how loved Jinn was by his former master, Yoda could not let his remarks go without some kind of reprimand.
"Very well Master Yoda. I have committed no abuse or misdeeds to my former padawan Xanatos Crion. I decided because of the disagreements between the two padawans and between Padawan Crion and I thatI must decide which I should keep. The differences Xanatos and I had were not conducive to his training or to my teaching. He had almost reached his knighthood. Obi-Wan on the other hand is fifteen years old and in need of at least ten years of training before he can achieve kighthood. He has stood by my side while he has been apprenticed too me and I will not abandon him even if he is as Master Plo Koon sees him, an invalid. He will recover. You allude to the fact that I let my emotions rule me. Yes I do if you mean I feel compassion for Obi-Wan. If that is a fault of a Jedi to feel compassion then the council masters should go over the Jedi mantra and look to the force to help you for I can not. I can make no excuses because I feel compassion and loyalty."
Master Jinn stopped for a moment and shifted his weight from one foot to another and then continued.
"Obi-Wan is my responsibility. Because he has been injured does not diminish or do away with that responsibility that was gifted to me by the force itself and sanctioned by you very masters who sit in judgment of me today. If anything it should increase it. As my older former padawan liked to remind me, he has been on his own for two years and is a man. In that I agree. I do not always agree with some of things he does that is all. He is more than worthy to be a knight I have no wish to keep him from that . But I will not forfieit my right to Obi-Wan and his quest for his knighthood. For I think he is as worthy as Xanatos to one day become a Jedi knight.I plan to see he gets that chance."
Obi-Wan could not believe his ears. It was truly welcome to hear his master defend him so staunchly.
The speech seemed endless but all the masters had no words to speak after it. They knew that Master Jinn had stated his case and quite well too.
It was very unusual to see Master Yoda smile in the council chambers but that was exactly what he did when Jinn finished. Mace thought if it had not been out of place, he would have applauded his friend's speech.
The other masters whispered their mutual respect for Master Jinn as he made his way back to his spot beside Obi-Wan. He was finished and that was all he would say for now and the council knew better than to ask more from him.
After the whispers died down, the council chambers swelled with eerie silence.
Finally it was Master Gallia who broke the silence.
"I for one think things have been successfully explained concerning Padawan Xanatos. It has never been the council's desire to interfere with a master and his padawan unless it is absolutely necessary. I see not reason for that interfernece in Master Jinn's case. As far as I am concerned he has explained his decision to saisfaction."
Every single master nodded his agreement except for the one lone hold out, Master Plo Koon. He huffed and puffed his disagreement which carried no weight at all.
"Very well, I will concede that we can not interfere between he and Xanatos, but there are things that need decided where it comes to Padawan Kenobi.. He needs to answer to the blatant unsubstantiated accusations against Xanatos and then there is a question of how long he needs for this recovery of his."
Plo Koon was not going to give up so easily where Kenobi was concerned.
Master Eeth Koth spoke up.
"I think we all agree that Obi-Wan's situation has not been addressed yet Master Plo Koon. Could you wait until he stands before us to start your critism of him?"
"Enough" The voice of Yoda's thundered through the chambers. For such a small being he could make his voice sound "large".
"Time it is to speak with Padawan Kenobi. Have not all day I do to settle squabbles between master and apprentices. Obi-Wan up you will come before us please."
Jinn put his arm over Obi-Wan's shoulders and squeezed, to encourage the scared padawan forward. Obi-Wan looked up at his master and another weak smile appeared.
Obi-Wan timidly rolled himself forward in front of the council masters that would decide his future…………..
To keep from fumbling nervously with his hands, Obi-Wan placed them in his lap clamped them together and tried to keep them still. He waited for Master Yoda or which ever master planned to start the questioning.
"Know why you are here Padawan Kenobi?"
Master Yoda had lowered his voice by at least an octive.He had no desire to scare the boy. Obi-Wan was his grand padawan [his padawan's padawan] and he was strong enough in the force to feel the fear Obi-Wan had at being there before these masters.
"I know I am here for the council masters to assess my capabilities of continuing my apprenticeship under Master Jinn."
"Think you are able to do that?"
"I can not fully, no."
Obi-Wan did not know what Master Yoda wanted. He wasn't ready to take on the full responsibility of his apprenticeship, but he thought with time and more improvement, he could.
Plo Koon had settled in with his arms propped up on the table and his chin rested on his balled up hands. He was bored with all this.
"Why don't you ask him the important things first Master Yoda. Ask him if he thinks it is in the Jedi code to lie on another padawan?"
The room grew silent again. Master Yoda hoped not to start with the troublesome part about Obi-Wan's lies, that was too be brought up before the council. Even the masters who usually sided with Yoda had a hard time accepting the fact that Obi-Wan tried to destroy Xani's future by telling lies he picked from thin air.
"Get to that we will."
Master Yoda tried to stall out to most egregious of Obi-Wan's problems.
Mater Billaba had serious concerns.
"I think we should address the issue now Master Yoda. If true, I am truly disappointed in the padawan. Even without his memory of his Jedi training unless something lurks inside him that is from the dark side, Padawan Kenobi should not have tried to sabatage Padawan Crion's chance at knighthood."
Qui-Gon coughed and sputtered as he tried to get out words to defend Obi-Wan. He thought they were just plan crazy to think his padawan hovered on the side of the dark.
Yoda with a stern stare and a thrown up hand waved off Master Jinn. It was his way of telling his former apprentice to remain silent.
Master Koth agreed with Master Billaba and he said so.
"I want to give the boy every chance to explain this away Master Yoda, but I too am concerned over this episode of lying the boy has done."
That was two of the masters Yoda hoped to vote his way. Now they questioned Obi-Wan as vehemently as Master Plo Koon had done.
"Very well, so be it. Patience none of you have learned. Explain to the council you will Padawan Kenobi. Believe what you said about Crion you did or said for the evilness of it, Umph?"
Now Obi-Wan had never really thought of why he said it about Xanatos killing the informers and the prisoners.. He knew it could have been plausible but if he truly believed Xanatos could have done such a thing, Obi-wan was not as sure about.
He lingered a few more moments thinking through what he was gong to say.
"Has the boy lost his ability to speak. Master Yoda has already said we do not have all day child."
Plo Koon just wanted to be mean to Obi and he hoped he had instilled more fear in the boy so he would have trouble answering.
Obi-wan's first thought was to turn that chair around and head straight into the arms of his master. Yes he was a teenager but without the force it was hard to go up against these masters before him that held his life in their hands. So easy, Obi-Wan thought, if he could just get to his master and let him protect him.
The apprentice knew he couldn't do that. It was just a fleeting thought. Force or no force he had to answer the question put forth to him and he would have to do it as honestly as he could.
"I don't think I ever thought that by saying what I did would interrrupt Xanatos' training or knighthood. I did not say it to actually be believed, I wanted to hurt someone."
Master Koth looked at the boy with a certain amount of compassion.'
"Explain young one what you mean hurt?"
"Oh no Master Koth not pyhsically hurt anyone, my ego was bruised because I thought..well.. I saw how efficient and good Xanatos was at his place as padawan to Master Jinn, I wanted to be that way, but I had no memory and no Jedi powers. I was ….I was jealous of the attention my master gave to his other padawan."
Obi-Wan blushed again over his confession of his jealousy, but he had to tell the truth.
Plo Koon planted that silly looking smirk on his face he would get when he thought things were going his way. He decided to ask Obi-Wan a question.
"So did you think that was a standard Jedi trait, this jealously you had of Padawan Crion?"
Obi-Wan began to like this master less and less the more he opened his mouth.
"Of course not Master Plo Koon, but as you so fondly liked to remind the council, I was not a true Jedi at the time. I had no memory of my training and use of the force. Xanatos said I was a normal every day child, with normal everday problems. Except he had that all wrong. I was a normal child put in an extraordinary situation. I was thrown into the middle of a temple full of force users and I had none, or none that could be accessed."
Master Windu hoped that the boy had a point the wanted to make because for the life of him he did not know where Obi-Wan was going with this little speech of his. He prodded him on.
"Go on child we are listening. You said you are normal, normal how?"
"Don't you see masters, I really was like the child you meet on the street in Coruscant. I was not the Jedi I was before. I thought like a typical fifteen year old boy. My master likes to remind me or well he did that teenagers my age without Jedi training or the force are extremely difficult to deal with. I make no excuse for myself but if I was not a Jedi, should I be held to their standards at the time I did what I did? Now I see things more clearly. I have some of my memory back and master hopes to work with me on my force abilities in a few days. I want to be given a chance to prove myself. I will relearn to walk and my memory has started to return more and more with each passing day."
Qui-Gon could not figure out where the boy was gong with his statements. To admit to not being a Jedi might just be to play into the hands of Plo Koon or any other masters who wanted to find a reason not to keep his apprentice in the Jedi order.
Mace thought he knew now what the boy was trying to tell them so he wanted him too continue.
"Have you just admitted that you are no longer a Jedi. Then we the council members would have to deny you continuance of your apprenticeship. Am I not correct in what I have just said?"
Thoughts and ideas went around in Obi-Wan's head like a merry-go-round. The only problem was they were going so fast that he could not decide which to pick and choose to express himself to the council. In plain simple words, he knew what he wanted to say, just not how to say it.
Beads of sweat formed on his forehead. He rubbed his sweaty palms together. Jinn could tell his apprentice had just about reached the point of "over the edge" with his nervousness. He walked up and looked pleadingly at Master Yoda.
Yoda seemed to know what Jinn wanted and nodded his head to give the O.K. for Jinn to calm his padawan. Jinn bent down and put his arm around Obi-Wan's shoulders.
"Don't say what's in here." [Qui-Gon pointed to Obi-Wan's head with his long index finger] "Say what's in here."[ He took his right hand and pressed it lightly against his padawan's heart.] And most of all, have no fear Obi-Wan."
Jinn stopped long enough to get very close to Obi-Wan's ear before he started again.
"Like I said, have no fear for with or without the Jedi I swear by all that I am , we will remain together……………………...
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I think by the next post Obi-Wan has put things together enough to say what he wants to say. The kid makes a lot of sense to me in the next one. Just thought this was a good place to stop!!! No, IT IS NOT A CLIFF HANGER. It's an attention getter!!! LOL
Don't think I was offended by you saying something about the cliff hangers, on the contrary, this story is for you the readers and I will do anything to make it more enjoyable for you. I love the comments on it. Say what you will!! Thanks for the feedback. I'm posting early so Gus and I can go up to the lake. See ya tomorrow.
I think we could all stand in line to get a crack at Plo Koon about now.I'm afraid he is not any more endearing in this post.
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Obi-Wan gathered all his strength and courage and started in with the council.He would do as his master, he would speak not from his mind but from his heart. It just seemed right.
" I have been on both sides of the fence when it comes to the force. I have had it and hope too again soon. I also have been on the outside looking in. I have had to deal with every emotion known to a child without the force. I think with the experience of both, I will make a far better apprentice than one who has only lived with the force and has never dealt with the true outside world. You here at the temple hand pick your children from every planet in the galaxy. In a sense the Jedi shun the normal for the exceptional. Master Jinn didn't do that. You bring them here to train them in the Jedi ways; the ones gifted enough in the force to be granted the honor of serving the JedI. Have you ever had a "normal" child here; one without the force and tried to teach them. I can answer that, no…… well that is not exactly true. You have now, me. Master Jinn has had to teach me without the use of the force."
Obi-Wan hesitated as if in thought before he really let the council have it.
"Master Jinn has taken me, a force inept child , and taught a great many things that a Jedi padawan knows, for it just came naturally to them because they carried the force within them."
"To be a good Jedi you must feel compassion. To feel compassion I think you have to be shown compassion. A Jedi padawan knows it is his duty to feel compassion, I learned it the hard way. I can give that compassion freely because it was shown to me by my master when I was at my lowest, dealing with all my obstacles before me."
Obi-Wan waited to see if the council knew what he meant.
Then he continued.
"Jedi padawans have the strength that is needed to become a Jedi. It was there, given to him by the very force that caused the temple to choose him. I got that strength because it was shown and shared by Master Jinn. I have that strength because I have felt it. Like an emotion it is a powerful thing. Master Jinn has given me all the strength I need and in return I plan to give him that strength back by doing what is necessary to fight my way back into my apprenticeship."
"Most important in all things needed to be a Jedi is love. All crèchings experience it. They are wrapped in the love of the force but I think sometimes not by a personal touch, a one-on-one situation. I have experienced both kinds of love. I have been wrapped in the loving coccoon of the force and soon hope to be that way again once the force is given back to me. But I had something equally or more important. I was embraced by the love of my master. Although I cannot remember all of it, I know I had and still have the love of my master to wrap myself in body and soul. I have more than these padawans today, I have everything. Until a Jedi hopeful has been loved as I have by my master, they can not appreciate the giving and receiving of it. I think that once I have my memory back and my legs I will make for a better apprentice, for I will have learned true compassion, love, and strength for I have just not been taught it or given it by the force as all Jedi have. I have lived it; all of it with the loving guidance of my master………"
Plo Koon still set with his chin rested on his hands. He had not listened very well to what the little padawan said. The others, they were different. They had perked their ears and straightened up in their seats. Each and everyone listened to the winded statement of Obi-Wan Kenobi. His master was humbled from the remarks made by his apprentice. He had held to every word.He knew that whatever the outcome was in this meeting he would never be more proud of his padawan than what he was right now.
Mace nodded his agreement to Obi-Wan's little speech. He too was surprised the boy had it in him to speak such eloquent words. Not because they were in such a perfected form, they were eloquent in what they said not how they were presented. Plo Koon was the first to speak.
"Well he has finished his little speech can he still tell us why he did what he did to Xanatos? I don't think he fully explained that."
Adi looked like Plo Koon as if he were insane.
"I think he did. I don't think you listened. He did it for one of the oldest emotions there is today. He did because he was jealous. Not jealous from a Jedi's point of view, because we should habor no jealousies. He was jealous as would be any child experiencing sibling rivalry. He dealt with that emotion the same way as a great many normal children do without the help of the force to guide him in his feelings, Obi-Wan was jealous of Padawan Crion. The dark has not touched him, jealously and its bittersweet misery has."
A couple of masters nodded their agreement. Plo Koon sat back in his chair and rolled his eyes, Before he spoke again.
"Well even if you fall that garbage he has just fed you then you still have to deal with his incompetence. We need Master Jinn to fulfill missions. He should be seeking out a padawan in a couple of weeks, not playing nursemaid to this "pup" who will never reach his potential as a Jedi ever again."
While the other masters had gleaned enough from Obi-Wan's speech to at least question whether he should be allowed to try to continue his apprenticeship, Plo Koon had gathered nothing. Words of compassion, love and even strength went right over his head into the open air around him. Jinn felt that Master Plo Koon was incapable of love, had no strength and had never exhibited compassion except where Xanatos was concerned and then the master believed Plo Koon had an self-serving motive; something that would benefit him in the long run.
Master Gallia spoke with her calm silky voice.
"No matter how well you have proven your point Padawan Kenobi for our concerns of why you made the accusations against Xanatos, how can you justify to us why you should continue to stay here at the temple and prevent your master from going on missions or quite possibly take a padawan in two weeks."
She really hoped Obi could bolster his reasons even more.
Obi-Wan let out the breath of air he had held. He looked down in his lap and watched himself intertwine his fingers. He had lost his battle, he thought.
"If what I have just said has convinced of nothing but that I am not gripped by the hand of the dark side, then nothing else I could say to you would keep you from your decision you must make. I am here before you to decide what will happen to the rest of my life. As far as I know when I was a Jedi apprentice, I was true to my calling. You will not wait for two weeks to reassess my progress in favor of taking my entire life from me. Is that "your" Jedi compassion Masters?"
Jinn stepped back up.
He is right masters. I know it can be done. Give me the two weeks to introduce the force back into Obi-Wan's life and to let Master Darue see what he can accomplish with him in therapy. If in that two weeks you are not satisfied with his improvements we will not ask more of the council."
Master Plo Koon in his most smug voice addressed Master Jinn again.
"Do you really stand before this council to tell us that if after two weeks we do not see the improvement to keep Obi-Wan Kenobi within these Jedi walls, you will give him up and take another padawan. Amazing."
"No Master Plo Koon I did not say that at all. If in two weeks Obi-Wan has not progressed to the council master's satification I will not take another padawan, but Obi-Wan and I will not beg for more time from the council"
Mace had a very bad feeling about his friend's statement and he wanted it clarified.
"Then please tell us Master Jinn just what are you trying to say?"
"If you are not convinced in the next two weeks at the time of the next "choosing" then you may bandish Obi-Wan from the Jedi order."
Obi-Wan sat in his chair and listened intently to what his master said. When he mentioned banishment, Obi-Wan quickly turned his head to the side and tilted it up so he could see his master's face clearly. Several masters gasped their astonishment at Jinn's proclamation.
"If you allow us to bandish him you will still not at least look over the padawan hopefuls?"
Master Eeth Koth was curious as to were Master Jinn was going with his statements.
"No because if Obi-Wan Kenobi is sent from this temple, I will go with him."………..
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Qui-Gon Jinn's last comment brought even more shocked gasps from the masters assembled. They never even thought that the one master who had truly dedicated his life to the Jedi in every way would just as easily turn his back on it in favor of keeping a mere boy who possibly would never be a Jedi.
"So sure you are. Can say that without hesitation?"
Yoda seemed perplexed by his former padawan's decision. He wanted Jinn to personally confirm it to him and him alone.
Jinn walked up to Master Yoda and knelt in the most humble fashion.
"I mean no disrespect to you, the force or the Jedi themselves, but yes Master Yoda. I can not be derelict in my duty. Obi-Wan in a sense is my obligation, but just as equally I have grown to love him like a son. I know we ask parents to give their children up all the time to be trained in the way of the force, but they have the force to fall back on. Parents are not a necessary thing for those wrapped in the protection of the force. If Obi-Wan can never regain his force then what does he have in this life master, nothing. No I will not do that to him. He means too much too me?"
"Always able to hold so much love within your heart my padawan. Someday it could be your down fall. Today though it will not. Suggest I do the council grants Master Jinn his two weeks."
All masters but one agreed and then he didn't actually vote no. Master Plo Koon abstained from voting. Jinn thought it was because he did not want to openly cross Master Yoda when he was determined about something, but that was only speculation. He did not care what his reason was. He had Obi-Wan to do with what he could for two weeks.
I think that will be enough time to prove to the council that the boy is capable of coming back from his obstacles. Obi-Wan and I are in for a greuling fourteen days. I hope he meant what he said. I hope he has the strength it will take to pull this one off
Master Jinn accompanied his padawan out of the council chambers. He knew they had both done the best they could. They had been given a reprieve, no matter how short and Qui-Gon planned to make it work.
He thought that with the determination Obi-Wan had just spoke of, things would go well for them.
What Master Jinn overlooked was that his life seemed to be governed by " Murphy's Law", Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.
Obi-Wan left with his master. His own thoughts raged through his mind. He was pleased that the council had given them two weeks, but he wondered if his master had any hidden animosity because he was forced to give up one padawan for the other. Obi-Wan hoped his master would not regret which apprentice he had to cut lose and which one he kept.
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That evening both master and apprentice set in the common room and went over their agenda for the following days. Obi-Wan was overwhelmed by how much Master Jinn had planned for them to do. Not that he was afraid to have all that work, it was just that the boy did not want to fail his master. Maybe Master Jinn would not say Obi-Wan failed if he could not accomplish all that was before them, but Obi-Wan would think he had failed if he let his master down again.
"I hope you don't think this is too much Obi. You look a little stunned by the list I just showed you."
"Well no master it is just I hope I can do it all."
"You will padawan. Have faith in yourself, I do. I think we had better get you to bed. We have a long day ahead of us."
"Master when will we start to work on my force abilities."
Obi-Wan raised his arm and reminded his master of the force bracelet he still wore.
Jinn winched with the thought of how the bracelet had gotten on. Obi-Wan was not in a favorable mood that day and it had hurt the master to have to put that contraption on his padawan. He too would be glad when he could remove it.
"I thought I would let you focus on your therapy with Master Healer Darue for a couple of days before we attempt to do anything with that bracelet. Then if he agrees that your have progressed well with your motor skils we will try to take the bracelet off. But you must understand Obi-Wan if it causes you too much confusion when the bracelet is off, we have to put it back on for a few days. I just want to warn you so you won't get your hopes up and have them dashed down again."
Obi-Wan was a little upset when he thought that he might have to put the bracelet back on, once it was off. However he shook his head and silently nodded his agreement to what his master said. He did not like the idea but he would agree to it.
Maybe things will go well and my master won't have to put it back on me
Obi hid his right hand and crossed his fingers. He knew that probably wasn't Jedi behavior to rely on crossed fingers for luck but hey he wasn't a full Jedi yet and didn't have the force. He would have to use his own means of luck to get through this until the force was given back to him and he learned how to use it.
#####3 days later in the late afternoon.#####
His master had not been kidding when he told Obi-Wan had his work cut out for him. Every muscle in his body hurt. While his master busied himself in the kitchen making tea Obi-Wan sat and tried to focus on not being so miserable. It didn't work. If he had the ability to walk he would not be able too.
Master Darue had worked the padawan into a state of total exhaustion. Even his master voiced his concern that maybe the work load he had given the Obi-Wan was too much. You could see the tiredness in Obi-Wan's drawn facial features. He truly did not think he could lift his hand to use to fork to eat. His arm muscles from using the parallel bars seized up in spasms of pain. His legs felt like they were going to fall off. He did not think he could take another step if his life depended on it. Then Obi-Wan thought with a frown that it did.
He had to work that hard if he ever wanted to be ready in the scant two weeks the council had given him to prove himself capable enough to continue his apprenticeship with his master.
####
It was in the evening after last-meal before Obi-Wan finally rested enough to start his homework. That was still a requirement he had even though he worked so hard on his therapy, the class work could not be ignored.
With a knock at the door, Master Jinn let in a padawan with a sealed letter in his hand.
"I have been given the errand of delivering these invitations Master Jinn. This one is for you."
Qui-Gon thanked the boy and saw him out. His hands shook because he realized by the bold print what he had. It was an invitation to Xanatos Crion's knighting ceremony.
Most everyone would stop by and greet the new knight but for the the private ceremony when the braid was cut, only a few were invited. Of course all the council masters would attend. This invitation was for him and him alone....
That in its self was unusual because usually if a master was invited the name of his padawan was placed on the card as a common courtesy to that master.
I guess Xanatos doesn't feel like being courteous when it comes to Obi-Wan and I.
His padawan broke his thoughts.
"What is it master?"
Obi-Wan was always a nosy child. That was something his master had to correct continually when Obi-Wan was trulty his apprentice and things had not changed.
"I believe this letter was addressed to me padawan."
Obi-Wan was not sure if his master was joking or if he had just handed down a reprimand to him. Obi could not tell. There seemed to be a hesitation in Qui-Gon's almost curt voice that sometimes indicated his master was not in a good mood. Kenobi thought he should just let it drop because they were both tired and he didn't want his master angry with him.
When the conversation started Master Jinn was not really angry at Obi-Wan when he asked what the note was about. But after he saw that his padawan was not going to push the issue as to who sent the letter, Qui-Gon offered no information. If Obi-Wan was satisfied to let the matter drop for now so was he. He did not want to upset Obi.
That was not the real reason. Qui-Gon wanted to have time to himself to think through things that happened between he and Xanatos. He was sad that he would not be the one to cut Xanatos' braid after they had spent ten years or more together. It was a great honor bestowed on a master to cut his apprentice's braid.
Qui-Gon regretted that he had that honor taken away. There in the middle of his common room he stood with his thoughts. Just who took it away. Was it Xanatos, Obi-Wan, or he, himself that caused some much friction between master and apprentice that he had to forfeit his right to cut Xanatos' braid.
With a deep sigh of regret and a shrug of his shoulders, the master laid the envelope on his desk.
"I am going to shower and ready myself for bed."
Qui-Gon's voice oozed with hurt and rejection.
Obi-Wan even looked up from his books because his master sounded so solemn.
"I should be finished with this homework by the time you are finished and I will also get ready for some well deserved sleep."
As soon as Qui-Gon left and Obi-Wan heard the shower come on, he rolled himself to his master's desk. He had to know what brought his master so much distress.
He hesitated at first. Obi-Wan drew his hand away after he touched the envelope. His eyes darted first to the fresher door then back to his master's desk where the envelope laid. He chewed on his lower lip as he thought through what he was about to do.
Padawan Kenobi knew he should not snoop in his master's personal notes. It was then that his right hand seemed to develop a mind of its own. Obi-Wan watched as his hand quickly reached out, snatched the note up, and pulled it from its envelope.
//Too late now to turn back.// thought Obi-Wan.
He read what it said.
//My master has been invited to Padawan Crion's knighting. How sweet of "Xani". I bet I won't be allowed to go. //
Obi-Wan slipped the note back in the envelope, placed it exactly where he picked it up from, and looked at the fresher door again before he moved away from the desk as quietly as his "antique" hover chair would allow..
I wonder why Master just didn't tell me what it was. It's not like I don't know "Xani" is to be knighted. I would have expected him to invite our master, so why keep it from me.
Obi-Wan looked at the envelope that laid on the desk a crossed the room. It was as if he expected to learn something just by looking at it, then an idea came to him.
Maybe my master does have regrets. Maybe he is upset with me because I have prevented him from what should have been his duty; too cut Xanatos' padawan braid.
His friend Bant said it is the most honored and intimate occasion between master and apprentice.
Obi-Wan heard the shower stop and knew his master would be out shortly to help him.
Maybe my master was angry with me tonight after he received his invitation. He probably wanted to be the one to cut Xani's braid. And now he resents me for not being able too…………….
Qui-Gon helped Obi-Wan that night as usual. The only difference, Obi's master seemed more distant than he usually was. He did not ask about Obi-Wan's therapy session and he didn't do the nightly ritual of joking and kidding with his apprentice. It had become the norm in the last few days to be very vocal and upbeat, but not tonight.
####
The next day brought the same distant master Obi-Wan encountered the night before. He was sure it had to do with that invitation that had come to his master the last night, however he could not put everything together.
While in his therapy with Master Darue, Obi-Wan tried in his typical teenage fashion to piece together the reasons for why his master was so down.
The only thing Obi-Wan could think of was that his master must have regrets because of keeping him over Xanatos.
It must have really upset my master that he will not be the master to participate in the braid cutting.
Obi-Wan fell for the fourth time that day. Master Darue looked up in time to see the final fall before he came over and stopped the session.
"Are you not feeling well Padawan. This is so unlike to fall so many times. I think we should call it a day. It would do no good to injure yourself and not be able to practice at all."
"I'm sorry I just lost my concentration for a minute, that's all."
"Well you must have lost it several times before. That makes the fourth time you have fallen. I think you should just rest today."
"I don't have a day to rest. We are down to ten days now. I have to keep going."
Obi-Wan did not mean to sound like he was yelling at the master healer, but his voice did raise and if anyone was around they might mistakenly assume Obi-Wan held yelled at his instructor.
As Obi-Wan's luck would have it his master had just come into the gym area where his apprentice had his practice sessions. He heard his padawan as he spoke to Master Healer Darue in what he thought was a less than courteous tone.
Master Jinn's voice echoed thunderingily through the hollowness of the empty gym.
"Padawan Kenobi apologize immediately to Master Darue for your conduct."
Obi-Wan let a low guttural moan. He had not meant for his voice to become so loud or disrespectful. He was caught up in the heat of the moment and his desire to succeed. It was so like his master to choose the worst time to come in. He witnessed his padawan's moment of uncontrolled excitement.
"It's alright Qui-Gon. I don't think the child meant to be rude. I suggested he take today off. He seems a little tired or off synch."
"That is no reason for a Jedi padawan to exhibit such display of discourtesy. Even without the force it only takes common respect for one's piers to be polite. Surely you can master that without the force Obi-Wan."
The padawan's cheeks glowed ruby red. He had been shot down by his master right in front of someone else. To Obi-Wan, his master's words were a humiliating reminder that he had so much to learn, he was a Jedi without the force. The master himself had alluded to the fact that his padawan could not even do what normal teens could, speak with respect and carry himself with dignity. The only thing Obi-Wan could do was hang his head.
He offered no other explanation. He didn't think his master wanted to hear anything out of him right now. Obi-Wan knew nothing he did was intentional and he felt he did not deserve the reprimand, but he would not argue with his master.
Let master think what he will. I know I never meant to be disrespectful to Master Darue.
Master Jinn's booming voice startled Obi-Wan out of his thoughts.
"I am waiting Obi-Wan Kenobi. I expect an aplogy to come from you right about now in order to keep yourself from further punishment."
Obi-Wan knew all too well that the three-name calling meant he was in more trouble than he bargained for.
"I'm sorry Master Darue. I did not mean to sound rude or to be so loud. I just wanted to improve my walking ability and I didn't want to stop for today."
Darue excepted Obi-Wan's apology before he turned to Jinn.
"I think the boy needs some rest today Qui-Gon. He does seem to be tired or preoccupied. I don't want him to hurt himself."
Obi-Wan looked pleadingily at the healer with his sad blue puppy-dog eyes. But as soon as he did, he knew it would do no good. The healer planned to tell his master how many times he had fallen that day.
He's going to tell my master how often I have messed up .
"Obi-Wan has fallen four times already and I don't want him to hurt himself. I suggested we call it a day."
"Well if he has fallen that many times then maybe he should go home. You may just rest yourself out of the temple Obi-Wan, if you keep making mistakes and not concentrating."
"In Obi-Wan's defense, I think he is exhausted.I don't think he let his mind wander or did not focus."
"Now you would like to tell me how to handle "this" padawan, Master Darue. If the boy is tired then in less than two weeks he can take an entire vacation, but now he needs to be hard at work if he expects to remain a Jedi"
Even the healer could tell that Jinn was not himself today.
"What is it Obi-Wan are you all that tired or has your mind wandered and you did not focus on the task at hand. Try to remember that Jedi do not lie."
Why is my master being so cruel?
Obi-Wan had no control of his shields and Jinn picked that moment to invade the boy's thoughts.
"I don't think I am cruel, I am being factual. Do you have complaints because of that, Padawan Kenobi? Now would you please answer the question. Are you tired or are you not concentrating today?"
Jinn glared down at Obi-Wan with blazing disappointment in his eyes.
Obi-Wan tried to make his mind go blank so he would not have any more thoughts he did not want his master to eavesdrop on.
"No master, I am not that tired. I guess…well I might have let my mind wander a bit today. I am sorry."
"Well at least when you are confronted, you can be truthful. Nevertheless, don't be sorry, just don't do anything to be sorry for. Apologies have a way of not meaning anything when you have to continually repeat them. Now I suggest you go back to our apartment and meditate on your actions and try to focus on the force that you so sorely lack in. I have a meeting with the council."
"I don't sorely "lack" in the force as you put it master. So far you have been unwilling or too busy to help me regain it."
Obi-Wan threw up his arm that the force band was on. It was another painful reminder to his master that he had put the dreaded force band on his apprentice, but as yet had found the time to take it off.
Neither the master or the apprentice spoke again.
Obi-Wan rolled himself out of the training gym just as fast as he could.The tears threatened to fall and he did not want his master or Healer Darue to see them.
He kept going over the events of last night. Had Xanatos' invitation made his master so angry that he had to take it out on Obi-Wan. Now it seemed they were back to square one in their relationship and Obi-Wan knew that was not a good thing.
Jinn turned to go after he saw Obi-Wan out.
"Master Jinn I don't think it is very conducive to treat Obi-Wan in such a manner. You should never reprimand your padawan in front of others. You have been a master long enough to know that."
Darue words were laced with the anger and pity he felt because of Obi-Wan.
" Master Darue, I hope not to make the same mistakes with this padawan as I did with the last. I am not going to coddle the boy. He needs to know where he stands. He has ten days to complete his tasks. If he keeps playing around it will not get done. I will not tolerate Obi-Wan's lack of determination or concentration."
" Until today Obi-Wan had put forth alot of effort toward his thearpy sessions. Maybe you are being too hard on him Qui."
Darue tried to use his long standing friendship with Qui-Gon to reason with him.
"And what if I am not hard enough. No Master Darue, I coddled Xanatos and look where that got me. I won't make the same mistakes with Obi-Wan. I certainly don't want to be known at the temple as the only master to have failed two padawans in consecutive order."
#############
By the time Qui-Gon got back to their home, Obi-Wan had regained his composure. He was busy at work with his academic studies. While he showed an outward appearance of composure he still was upset. However he would not say anything to his master because he did not want a repeat of their argument earlier in the day.
Master Jinn had lost his feelings of anger toward Obi-Wan. He knew he was too hard on his apprentice..
//I was more than hard on him. I acted like a master out of control. My padawan probably wonders what has gotten into me. I just wished Xanatos had not gone through his knighting ceremony until after our fourteen-day trial was up. It would have made things easier. I find it hard to deal with Obi-Wan and his need for rapid improvement of his skills and my failure of my last padawan. I was not even angry with Obi-Wan this afternoon. I was angry with the circumstance and he just happen to be there. Maybe I did take what Obi-Wan said out of context. He just might not have meant to sound rude to Master Darue.//
Master Jinn could not get it through his thick head that he did not fail his former padawan. Xani had failed his master as well as himself. Between the worry of failing his last apprentice and the more worrisome thought that he could fail Obi-Wan if the boy did not improve sufficiently, it was getting exceedingly hard for the master of perfection, Qui-Gon Jinn to balance his life.
Now it would be up to Master Jinn to take the first step to correct this latest rift between he and Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon knew what he must do. He would have to admit to his apprentice that today it was the master and not the apprentice who was in the wrong.?
Qui-Gon walked over to his desk, sat down on the edge of it and picked up the envelope that contained Xanatos knighting invitation.
After looking at the note again, Jinn let his eye drift slowly from the note in his hands to the miserable looking face of his padawan.
"Do you know what this is?"
Obi-Wan did not have to think twice. If he learned one thing while regaining his Jedi skills, he knew that he could not lie.
His words stumbled from his mouth as he told his master what he had done last night.
Qui-Gon sat very quietly as he balanced himself on the desk with his long legs stuck out and crossed.
"So you invaded my privacy."
It was a statement but Obi-Wan did not hear any anger in the words."
"A little like you did this afternoon master when you went into to mind to see what I thought."
Jinn stared at his padawan and hesitated at what seemed like an eternity to his apprentice.
Obi-Wan thought he saw a small smile start to spread a cross his master's face. He then thought it must be his imagination.
"Touché Padawan. I think on that count we are equal. We are both guilty of invading the other's privacy. I have no reprimand for what you did by reading this, just a warning, do not do it again."
There it was again. Just as before, another statement and still no anger to back the words up; certainly not like the afternoon's conversation he and his master had.
"I won't let my thoughts drift from my task at hand master. I won't aplogize for it again. I just won't let it happen anymore."
"I know Obi. I was a little out of sorts today and may have jumped to the wrong conclusions when I came in to your thearpy session. I guess my thoughts were other places as well."
Qui-Gon looked again at the invitation in his hand before he tossed it back on the desk.
"Well master I guess we are even. We both invaded the other's privacy and we both are guilty of letting our thoughts wander instead of focusing on the present, as Master Yoda so fondly likes to say."
Now the smile that Obi-Wan thought he saw creeping on his master's face radiated even a crossed their slightly lop-sided training bond.[Obi needed his force abilities to even up that bond.]
"Very well padawan. I say we call a truce, have last-meal, and then meditate together. I have a feeling with your problems to deal with and the knighting of Padawan Crion, we will have more than we know what to deal with. We will look to the force to help us conquer our challenges"…..
Obi-Wan set nervously on his bed, as he tried to focus on his studies. It was extremely hard to do. His master attended the knighting ceremony for Xanatos. Obi-Wan was as sure as he could be that his master did not regret the choice he made when he defended Obi and cut Xani out of his life, but he had just a touch of worry in the back of his mind.
He shook it off and waited for his master who had promised he would not be long.
###############
Master Yoda stood by Qui-Gon to lend him his moral support. He knew his former padawan needed it this night. The worst part of the ceremony was about to begin.
Master Plo Koon stood in front of the group of Jedi assembled as Master Plo Koon cut Xanatos Crion's braid. The now knight Xani turned and looked squarely into the sea-blue eyes of his master. There was no love in that look. If anything there was anger for his master not being the one to cut the braid as he had always hoped.
The Jedi group disassembled and went to the buffet tables to grab some food. Jinn felt obligated to go over and congratulate his former apprentice.
"Well you made it, congratulations."
"Thank You Qui-Gon."
Xanatos intentionally left off the master as if to hurt his former master. He succeeded. Qui-Gon had never heard Xani call him just "Qui-Gon" before.
"Thank you for honoring the invitation and not bringing Obi-Wan."
"Knight Xanatos if you plan to start on Obi-Wan then let's not begin this conversation. I do not want this special night for you to be marred by an argument between us."
"Now relax Qui-Gon, I meant no disrespect to your Obi. I just thought I would feel better with him not here and I do appreciate your consideration for me by not bringing him here. That is all."
"Very well. I don't think I will stay for any refreshments. I left Obi-Wan alone with his homework."
"Well now we have to have one drink to toast my knighting, even if you won't stay and have something to eat."
Jinn hesitated and then agreed to one drink with his former padawan.
Master Plo Koon made his cirlce in the crowd and excepted the congratulations that should have been Jinn's by rights. He was in a jovial mood for the grump of a master that he was. He hoped now to join Xani on his missions and make a name for himself in the Jedi order; thus toppling Master Yoda's head position on the council.
Qui-Gon had a drink with Xanatos to toast his knighting. After he waited what he thought was long enough time, he tried to excuse himself.
"Wait Qui-Gon I would like to say one last thing if I may have just a moment more of your time."
"Very well. Then I really do have to leave. It is starting to get late."
"Yes well it it is almost 9:00 in the evening. The party has just started. However let me say one thing and I will give you your leave."
Xanatos waited and looked at his master until he was sure he had his attention. Jinn watched his former padawan with a certain curiosity.
"If something should happen and Obi-Wan has to leave the Jedi temple, I would be more than honored to come back and start my first missions as a knight with you. I know Master Plo Koon has offered to oversee me for a year, but I have the feeling that the council would not object to my true master taking over my supervision for a year."
Jinn could not believe Xanatos had the nerve to ask such a thing. They parted on less friendly terms and Jinn thought he had made it clear that if Obi-Wan was sent from the temple, he would follow.
"Xanatos I appreciate your offer, but I have made it clear, if Obi goes so will I."
" I had hoped you had thought that ridiculous statement over and withdrew it by now. Master the Jedi is your life. You can't throw it away for that kid."
"I think I should leave now Knight Crion. Good luck with your missions ahead. As for what you said ,I have no answer for it. You know where I stand. We have no need to finish this conversation."
"Have it your way Master. I certainly did not mean to cause you stress, but the offer stands if you ever should change your mind."
Jinn quickly wheeled around and left the hall…………………TBC
PEACE ewen
"Surely I mean no respect to any master seated before me, but I must question all of you why you feel you can condem or ask why I have broken the bond with Xanatos. I was never aware that the council became so vehemently involved in an action taken by a master when it came to his padawan unless an accusation of abuse had been leveled against them. Is that the case here?"
Mace did not like that the council had hauled Jinn before them for such a humiliating and in Mace's opinion libelous accusation but it had been done and he wanted to explain it to Qui-Gon.
"While it can not be called abuse Master Jinn, a council member has accused you of wantonly casting a worthy padawan aside because of your emotional envolvement of the other padawan who if medically does not improve may be asked to set aside his apprenticeship so you may have a padawan that can be trained."
"Excuse me Master Windu have I heard you correctly? You mean even if I do not have Xani as a padawan, you the council would expect me to give up Obi-Wan to take a new padawan?"
Eeth Koth who was in a sense in Jinn's corner and wanted him to fully explain what was going on so that maybe more of the masters would agree with Jinn.
"Master Jinn I am sure you are aware that there will be at least fifteen initiates hoping to find masters within the next two weeks. We expect every master without a padawan to at least consider the option to accept an apprentice this quarter. The temple hates to lose good potential padawans to the Agricorps just because of the lack of masters to train them."
"To be honest I did not know it was time for another "choosing". I have a padawan, so concern for the next set of intiiates were not my main priority."
"Then do you mean to lead us to believe that Obi-Wan will be substantially healed enough in the next two weeks that he can take his place as your true apprentice and be able to be sent on missions. That is what we need at this moment Jinn, qualified masters for the various missions not filled."
"Wow wait a minute Master Koth. You are laying a lot on a boy's head that has been without the force and the use of his legs. You know very well that Obi-Wan could not possibly be ready to take on a mission in two weeks."
Master Plo Koon wanted to try to tear down Jinn's defenses as soon as he could so he launched him with his opinion.
"So you opted to keep an invalid by your side when you had a more than competent padawan, soon-to be-knight that could have gone on a mission that we have tried to find a master/padawan team to take for two weeks. Is that not selfish of you Master Jinn? Even more so is it not selfish of your favored padawan to expect you to stay at the temple and baby him until he recovers, if he ever does?"
Obi-Wan's face grew scarlet in color from the condemantion he had just suffered by Plo Koon's less than thoughtful comments directed at him. Everyone in the council chambers could see Obi-Wan's stress as his face grew redder and redder with shame. It was Jinn though that could feel his distress and he tried to send waves of comfort to the boy. But with Obi-Wan's inability to feel the force, little of the comfort got too him. He at least knew his master had attempted to calm him.
Obi-Wan looked up with his eyes of azure and tried to smile but it was at best a half hearted attempt to let his master know he could handle the criticism and so Qui-Gon continued.
Qui-Gon was not without a touch of rosy cheeks as he started to speak again.
"I will recant to the council exactly what is going on here. I know Master Plo Koon will not have to listen as closely as the rest of you masters because he has had his nose stuck in my business long enough to know every little detail nasty or other wise of my private life between my padawans."
Mace covered his mouth with his hand to hide the smile that instantly formed on his face.
Yoda twitched his ears and shook his head. He then pounded his stick on the chamber floor.
"Enough it is Master Jinn. Dishonor a council master here in front of his piers and in this room you will not. Tell your side you will and have done with it."
Jinn knew his master would have to condem him for what he said. No matter how loved Jinn was by his former master, Yoda could not let his remarks go without some kind of reprimand.
"Very well Master Yoda. I have committed no abuse or misdeeds to my former padawan Xanatos Crion. I decided because of the disagreements between the two padawans and between Padawan Crion and I thatI must decide which I should keep. The differences Xanatos and I had were not conducive to his training or to my teaching. He had almost reached his knighthood. Obi-Wan on the other hand is fifteen years old and in need of at least ten years of training before he can achieve kighthood. He has stood by my side while he has been apprenticed too me and I will not abandon him even if he is as Master Plo Koon sees him, an invalid. He will recover. You allude to the fact that I let my emotions rule me. Yes I do if you mean I feel compassion for Obi-Wan. If that is a fault of a Jedi to feel compassion then the council masters should go over the Jedi mantra and look to the force to help you for I can not. I can make no excuses because I feel compassion and loyalty."
Master Jinn stopped for a moment and shifted his weight from one foot to another and then continued.
"Obi-Wan is my responsibility. Because he has been injured does not diminish or do away with that responsibility that was gifted to me by the force itself and sanctioned by you very masters who sit in judgment of me today. If anything it should increase it. As my older former padawan liked to remind me, he has been on his own for two years and is a man. In that I agree. I do not always agree with some of things he does that is all. He is more than worthy to be a knight I have no wish to keep him from that . But I will not forfieit my right to Obi-Wan and his quest for his knighthood. For I think he is as worthy as Xanatos to one day become a Jedi knight.I plan to see he gets that chance."
Obi-Wan could not believe his ears. It was truly welcome to hear his master defend him so staunchly.
The speech seemed endless but all the masters had no words to speak after it. They knew that Master Jinn had stated his case and quite well too.
It was very unusual to see Master Yoda smile in the council chambers but that was exactly what he did when Jinn finished. Mace thought if it had not been out of place, he would have applauded his friend's speech.
The other masters whispered their mutual respect for Master Jinn as he made his way back to his spot beside Obi-Wan. He was finished and that was all he would say for now and the council knew better than to ask more from him.
After the whispers died down, the council chambers swelled with eerie silence.
Finally it was Master Gallia who broke the silence.
"I for one think things have been successfully explained concerning Padawan Xanatos. It has never been the council's desire to interfere with a master and his padawan unless it is absolutely necessary. I see not reason for that interfernece in Master Jinn's case. As far as I am concerned he has explained his decision to saisfaction."
Every single master nodded his agreement except for the one lone hold out, Master Plo Koon. He huffed and puffed his disagreement which carried no weight at all.
"Very well, I will concede that we can not interfere between he and Xanatos, but there are things that need decided where it comes to Padawan Kenobi.. He needs to answer to the blatant unsubstantiated accusations against Xanatos and then there is a question of how long he needs for this recovery of his."
Plo Koon was not going to give up so easily where Kenobi was concerned.
Master Eeth Koth spoke up.
"I think we all agree that Obi-Wan's situation has not been addressed yet Master Plo Koon. Could you wait until he stands before us to start your critism of him?"
"Enough" The voice of Yoda's thundered through the chambers. For such a small being he could make his voice sound "large".
"Time it is to speak with Padawan Kenobi. Have not all day I do to settle squabbles between master and apprentices. Obi-Wan up you will come before us please."
Jinn put his arm over Obi-Wan's shoulders and squeezed, to encourage the scared padawan forward. Obi-Wan looked up at his master and another weak smile appeared.
Obi-Wan timidly rolled himself forward in front of the council masters that would decide his future…………..
To keep from fumbling nervously with his hands, Obi-Wan placed them in his lap clamped them together and tried to keep them still. He waited for Master Yoda or which ever master planned to start the questioning.
"Know why you are here Padawan Kenobi?"
Master Yoda had lowered his voice by at least an octive.He had no desire to scare the boy. Obi-Wan was his grand padawan [his padawan's padawan] and he was strong enough in the force to feel the fear Obi-Wan had at being there before these masters.
"I know I am here for the council masters to assess my capabilities of continuing my apprenticeship under Master Jinn."
"Think you are able to do that?"
"I can not fully, no."
Obi-Wan did not know what Master Yoda wanted. He wasn't ready to take on the full responsibility of his apprenticeship, but he thought with time and more improvement, he could.
Plo Koon had settled in with his arms propped up on the table and his chin rested on his balled up hands. He was bored with all this.
"Why don't you ask him the important things first Master Yoda. Ask him if he thinks it is in the Jedi code to lie on another padawan?"
The room grew silent again. Master Yoda hoped not to start with the troublesome part about Obi-Wan's lies, that was too be brought up before the council. Even the masters who usually sided with Yoda had a hard time accepting the fact that Obi-Wan tried to destroy Xani's future by telling lies he picked from thin air.
"Get to that we will."
Master Yoda tried to stall out to most egregious of Obi-Wan's problems.
Mater Billaba had serious concerns.
"I think we should address the issue now Master Yoda. If true, I am truly disappointed in the padawan. Even without his memory of his Jedi training unless something lurks inside him that is from the dark side, Padawan Kenobi should not have tried to sabatage Padawan Crion's chance at knighthood."
Qui-Gon coughed and sputtered as he tried to get out words to defend Obi-Wan. He thought they were just plan crazy to think his padawan hovered on the side of the dark.
Yoda with a stern stare and a thrown up hand waved off Master Jinn. It was his way of telling his former apprentice to remain silent.
Master Koth agreed with Master Billaba and he said so.
"I want to give the boy every chance to explain this away Master Yoda, but I too am concerned over this episode of lying the boy has done."
That was two of the masters Yoda hoped to vote his way. Now they questioned Obi-Wan as vehemently as Master Plo Koon had done.
"Very well, so be it. Patience none of you have learned. Explain to the council you will Padawan Kenobi. Believe what you said about Crion you did or said for the evilness of it, Umph?"
Now Obi-Wan had never really thought of why he said it about Xanatos killing the informers and the prisoners.. He knew it could have been plausible but if he truly believed Xanatos could have done such a thing, Obi-wan was not as sure about.
He lingered a few more moments thinking through what he was gong to say.
"Has the boy lost his ability to speak. Master Yoda has already said we do not have all day child."
Plo Koon just wanted to be mean to Obi and he hoped he had instilled more fear in the boy so he would have trouble answering.
Obi-wan's first thought was to turn that chair around and head straight into the arms of his master. Yes he was a teenager but without the force it was hard to go up against these masters before him that held his life in their hands. So easy, Obi-Wan thought, if he could just get to his master and let him protect him.
The apprentice knew he couldn't do that. It was just a fleeting thought. Force or no force he had to answer the question put forth to him and he would have to do it as honestly as he could.
"I don't think I ever thought that by saying what I did would interrrupt Xanatos' training or knighthood. I did not say it to actually be believed, I wanted to hurt someone."
Master Koth looked at the boy with a certain amount of compassion.'
"Explain young one what you mean hurt?"
"Oh no Master Koth not pyhsically hurt anyone, my ego was bruised because I thought..well.. I saw how efficient and good Xanatos was at his place as padawan to Master Jinn, I wanted to be that way, but I had no memory and no Jedi powers. I was ….I was jealous of the attention my master gave to his other padawan."
Obi-Wan blushed again over his confession of his jealousy, but he had to tell the truth.
Plo Koon planted that silly looking smirk on his face he would get when he thought things were going his way. He decided to ask Obi-Wan a question.
"So did you think that was a standard Jedi trait, this jealously you had of Padawan Crion?"
Obi-Wan began to like this master less and less the more he opened his mouth.
"Of course not Master Plo Koon, but as you so fondly liked to remind the council, I was not a true Jedi at the time. I had no memory of my training and use of the force. Xanatos said I was a normal every day child, with normal everday problems. Except he had that all wrong. I was a normal child put in an extraordinary situation. I was thrown into the middle of a temple full of force users and I had none, or none that could be accessed."
Master Windu hoped that the boy had a point the wanted to make because for the life of him he did not know where Obi-Wan was going with this little speech of his. He prodded him on.
"Go on child we are listening. You said you are normal, normal how?"
"Don't you see masters, I really was like the child you meet on the street in Coruscant. I was not the Jedi I was before. I thought like a typical fifteen year old boy. My master likes to remind me or well he did that teenagers my age without Jedi training or the force are extremely difficult to deal with. I make no excuse for myself but if I was not a Jedi, should I be held to their standards at the time I did what I did? Now I see things more clearly. I have some of my memory back and master hopes to work with me on my force abilities in a few days. I want to be given a chance to prove myself. I will relearn to walk and my memory has started to return more and more with each passing day."
Qui-Gon could not figure out where the boy was gong with his statements. To admit to not being a Jedi might just be to play into the hands of Plo Koon or any other masters who wanted to find a reason not to keep his apprentice in the Jedi order.
Mace thought he knew now what the boy was trying to tell them so he wanted him too continue.
"Have you just admitted that you are no longer a Jedi. Then we the council members would have to deny you continuance of your apprenticeship. Am I not correct in what I have just said?"
Thoughts and ideas went around in Obi-Wan's head like a merry-go-round. The only problem was they were going so fast that he could not decide which to pick and choose to express himself to the council. In plain simple words, he knew what he wanted to say, just not how to say it.
Beads of sweat formed on his forehead. He rubbed his sweaty palms together. Jinn could tell his apprentice had just about reached the point of "over the edge" with his nervousness. He walked up and looked pleadingly at Master Yoda.
Yoda seemed to know what Jinn wanted and nodded his head to give the O.K. for Jinn to calm his padawan. Jinn bent down and put his arm around Obi-Wan's shoulders.
"Don't say what's in here." [Qui-Gon pointed to Obi-Wan's head with his long index finger] "Say what's in here."[ He took his right hand and pressed it lightly against his padawan's heart.] And most of all, have no fear Obi-Wan."
Jinn stopped long enough to get very close to Obi-Wan's ear before he started again.
"Like I said, have no fear for with or without the Jedi I swear by all that I am , we will remain together……………………...
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I think by the next post Obi-Wan has put things together enough to say what he wants to say. The kid makes a lot of sense to me in the next one. Just thought this was a good place to stop!!! No, IT IS NOT A CLIFF HANGER. It's an attention getter!!! LOL
Don't think I was offended by you saying something about the cliff hangers, on the contrary, this story is for you the readers and I will do anything to make it more enjoyable for you. I love the comments on it. Say what you will!! Thanks for the feedback. I'm posting early so Gus and I can go up to the lake. See ya tomorrow.
I think we could all stand in line to get a crack at Plo Koon about now.I'm afraid he is not any more endearing in this post.
######################
Obi-Wan gathered all his strength and courage and started in with the council.He would do as his master, he would speak not from his mind but from his heart. It just seemed right.
" I have been on both sides of the fence when it comes to the force. I have had it and hope too again soon. I also have been on the outside looking in. I have had to deal with every emotion known to a child without the force. I think with the experience of both, I will make a far better apprentice than one who has only lived with the force and has never dealt with the true outside world. You here at the temple hand pick your children from every planet in the galaxy. In a sense the Jedi shun the normal for the exceptional. Master Jinn didn't do that. You bring them here to train them in the Jedi ways; the ones gifted enough in the force to be granted the honor of serving the JedI. Have you ever had a "normal" child here; one without the force and tried to teach them. I can answer that, no…… well that is not exactly true. You have now, me. Master Jinn has had to teach me without the use of the force."
Obi-Wan hesitated as if in thought before he really let the council have it.
"Master Jinn has taken me, a force inept child , and taught a great many things that a Jedi padawan knows, for it just came naturally to them because they carried the force within them."
"To be a good Jedi you must feel compassion. To feel compassion I think you have to be shown compassion. A Jedi padawan knows it is his duty to feel compassion, I learned it the hard way. I can give that compassion freely because it was shown to me by my master when I was at my lowest, dealing with all my obstacles before me."
Obi-Wan waited to see if the council knew what he meant.
Then he continued.
"Jedi padawans have the strength that is needed to become a Jedi. It was there, given to him by the very force that caused the temple to choose him. I got that strength because it was shown and shared by Master Jinn. I have that strength because I have felt it. Like an emotion it is a powerful thing. Master Jinn has given me all the strength I need and in return I plan to give him that strength back by doing what is necessary to fight my way back into my apprenticeship."
"Most important in all things needed to be a Jedi is love. All crèchings experience it. They are wrapped in the love of the force but I think sometimes not by a personal touch, a one-on-one situation. I have experienced both kinds of love. I have been wrapped in the loving coccoon of the force and soon hope to be that way again once the force is given back to me. But I had something equally or more important. I was embraced by the love of my master. Although I cannot remember all of it, I know I had and still have the love of my master to wrap myself in body and soul. I have more than these padawans today, I have everything. Until a Jedi hopeful has been loved as I have by my master, they can not appreciate the giving and receiving of it. I think that once I have my memory back and my legs I will make for a better apprentice, for I will have learned true compassion, love, and strength for I have just not been taught it or given it by the force as all Jedi have. I have lived it; all of it with the loving guidance of my master………"
Plo Koon still set with his chin rested on his hands. He had not listened very well to what the little padawan said. The others, they were different. They had perked their ears and straightened up in their seats. Each and everyone listened to the winded statement of Obi-Wan Kenobi. His master was humbled from the remarks made by his apprentice. He had held to every word.He knew that whatever the outcome was in this meeting he would never be more proud of his padawan than what he was right now.
Mace nodded his agreement to Obi-Wan's little speech. He too was surprised the boy had it in him to speak such eloquent words. Not because they were in such a perfected form, they were eloquent in what they said not how they were presented. Plo Koon was the first to speak.
"Well he has finished his little speech can he still tell us why he did what he did to Xanatos? I don't think he fully explained that."
Adi looked like Plo Koon as if he were insane.
"I think he did. I don't think you listened. He did it for one of the oldest emotions there is today. He did because he was jealous. Not jealous from a Jedi's point of view, because we should habor no jealousies. He was jealous as would be any child experiencing sibling rivalry. He dealt with that emotion the same way as a great many normal children do without the help of the force to guide him in his feelings, Obi-Wan was jealous of Padawan Crion. The dark has not touched him, jealously and its bittersweet misery has."
A couple of masters nodded their agreement. Plo Koon sat back in his chair and rolled his eyes, Before he spoke again.
"Well even if you fall that garbage he has just fed you then you still have to deal with his incompetence. We need Master Jinn to fulfill missions. He should be seeking out a padawan in a couple of weeks, not playing nursemaid to this "pup" who will never reach his potential as a Jedi ever again."
While the other masters had gleaned enough from Obi-Wan's speech to at least question whether he should be allowed to try to continue his apprenticeship, Plo Koon had gathered nothing. Words of compassion, love and even strength went right over his head into the open air around him. Jinn felt that Master Plo Koon was incapable of love, had no strength and had never exhibited compassion except where Xanatos was concerned and then the master believed Plo Koon had an self-serving motive; something that would benefit him in the long run.
Master Gallia spoke with her calm silky voice.
"No matter how well you have proven your point Padawan Kenobi for our concerns of why you made the accusations against Xanatos, how can you justify to us why you should continue to stay here at the temple and prevent your master from going on missions or quite possibly take a padawan in two weeks."
She really hoped Obi could bolster his reasons even more.
Obi-Wan let out the breath of air he had held. He looked down in his lap and watched himself intertwine his fingers. He had lost his battle, he thought.
"If what I have just said has convinced of nothing but that I am not gripped by the hand of the dark side, then nothing else I could say to you would keep you from your decision you must make. I am here before you to decide what will happen to the rest of my life. As far as I know when I was a Jedi apprentice, I was true to my calling. You will not wait for two weeks to reassess my progress in favor of taking my entire life from me. Is that "your" Jedi compassion Masters?"
Jinn stepped back up.
He is right masters. I know it can be done. Give me the two weeks to introduce the force back into Obi-Wan's life and to let Master Darue see what he can accomplish with him in therapy. If in that two weeks you are not satisfied with his improvements we will not ask more of the council."
Master Plo Koon in his most smug voice addressed Master Jinn again.
"Do you really stand before this council to tell us that if after two weeks we do not see the improvement to keep Obi-Wan Kenobi within these Jedi walls, you will give him up and take another padawan. Amazing."
"No Master Plo Koon I did not say that at all. If in two weeks Obi-Wan has not progressed to the council master's satification I will not take another padawan, but Obi-Wan and I will not beg for more time from the council"
Mace had a very bad feeling about his friend's statement and he wanted it clarified.
"Then please tell us Master Jinn just what are you trying to say?"
"If you are not convinced in the next two weeks at the time of the next "choosing" then you may bandish Obi-Wan from the Jedi order."
Obi-Wan sat in his chair and listened intently to what his master said. When he mentioned banishment, Obi-Wan quickly turned his head to the side and tilted it up so he could see his master's face clearly. Several masters gasped their astonishment at Jinn's proclamation.
"If you allow us to bandish him you will still not at least look over the padawan hopefuls?"
Master Eeth Koth was curious as to were Master Jinn was going with his statements.
"No because if Obi-Wan Kenobi is sent from this temple, I will go with him."………..
###############
Qui-Gon Jinn's last comment brought even more shocked gasps from the masters assembled. They never even thought that the one master who had truly dedicated his life to the Jedi in every way would just as easily turn his back on it in favor of keeping a mere boy who possibly would never be a Jedi.
"So sure you are. Can say that without hesitation?"
Yoda seemed perplexed by his former padawan's decision. He wanted Jinn to personally confirm it to him and him alone.
Jinn walked up to Master Yoda and knelt in the most humble fashion.
"I mean no disrespect to you, the force or the Jedi themselves, but yes Master Yoda. I can not be derelict in my duty. Obi-Wan in a sense is my obligation, but just as equally I have grown to love him like a son. I know we ask parents to give their children up all the time to be trained in the way of the force, but they have the force to fall back on. Parents are not a necessary thing for those wrapped in the protection of the force. If Obi-Wan can never regain his force then what does he have in this life master, nothing. No I will not do that to him. He means too much too me?"
"Always able to hold so much love within your heart my padawan. Someday it could be your down fall. Today though it will not. Suggest I do the council grants Master Jinn his two weeks."
All masters but one agreed and then he didn't actually vote no. Master Plo Koon abstained from voting. Jinn thought it was because he did not want to openly cross Master Yoda when he was determined about something, but that was only speculation. He did not care what his reason was. He had Obi-Wan to do with what he could for two weeks.
I think that will be enough time to prove to the council that the boy is capable of coming back from his obstacles. Obi-Wan and I are in for a greuling fourteen days. I hope he meant what he said. I hope he has the strength it will take to pull this one off
Master Jinn accompanied his padawan out of the council chambers. He knew they had both done the best they could. They had been given a reprieve, no matter how short and Qui-Gon planned to make it work.
He thought that with the determination Obi-Wan had just spoke of, things would go well for them.
What Master Jinn overlooked was that his life seemed to be governed by " Murphy's Law", Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.
Obi-Wan left with his master. His own thoughts raged through his mind. He was pleased that the council had given them two weeks, but he wondered if his master had any hidden animosity because he was forced to give up one padawan for the other. Obi-Wan hoped his master would not regret which apprentice he had to cut lose and which one he kept.
######
That evening both master and apprentice set in the common room and went over their agenda for the following days. Obi-Wan was overwhelmed by how much Master Jinn had planned for them to do. Not that he was afraid to have all that work, it was just that the boy did not want to fail his master. Maybe Master Jinn would not say Obi-Wan failed if he could not accomplish all that was before them, but Obi-Wan would think he had failed if he let his master down again.
"I hope you don't think this is too much Obi. You look a little stunned by the list I just showed you."
"Well no master it is just I hope I can do it all."
"You will padawan. Have faith in yourself, I do. I think we had better get you to bed. We have a long day ahead of us."
"Master when will we start to work on my force abilities."
Obi-Wan raised his arm and reminded his master of the force bracelet he still wore.
Jinn winched with the thought of how the bracelet had gotten on. Obi-Wan was not in a favorable mood that day and it had hurt the master to have to put that contraption on his padawan. He too would be glad when he could remove it.
"I thought I would let you focus on your therapy with Master Healer Darue for a couple of days before we attempt to do anything with that bracelet. Then if he agrees that your have progressed well with your motor skils we will try to take the bracelet off. But you must understand Obi-Wan if it causes you too much confusion when the bracelet is off, we have to put it back on for a few days. I just want to warn you so you won't get your hopes up and have them dashed down again."
Obi-Wan was a little upset when he thought that he might have to put the bracelet back on, once it was off. However he shook his head and silently nodded his agreement to what his master said. He did not like the idea but he would agree to it.
Maybe things will go well and my master won't have to put it back on me
Obi hid his right hand and crossed his fingers. He knew that probably wasn't Jedi behavior to rely on crossed fingers for luck but hey he wasn't a full Jedi yet and didn't have the force. He would have to use his own means of luck to get through this until the force was given back to him and he learned how to use it.
#####3 days later in the late afternoon.#####
His master had not been kidding when he told Obi-Wan had his work cut out for him. Every muscle in his body hurt. While his master busied himself in the kitchen making tea Obi-Wan sat and tried to focus on not being so miserable. It didn't work. If he had the ability to walk he would not be able too.
Master Darue had worked the padawan into a state of total exhaustion. Even his master voiced his concern that maybe the work load he had given the Obi-Wan was too much. You could see the tiredness in Obi-Wan's drawn facial features. He truly did not think he could lift his hand to use to fork to eat. His arm muscles from using the parallel bars seized up in spasms of pain. His legs felt like they were going to fall off. He did not think he could take another step if his life depended on it. Then Obi-Wan thought with a frown that it did.
He had to work that hard if he ever wanted to be ready in the scant two weeks the council had given him to prove himself capable enough to continue his apprenticeship with his master.
####
It was in the evening after last-meal before Obi-Wan finally rested enough to start his homework. That was still a requirement he had even though he worked so hard on his therapy, the class work could not be ignored.
With a knock at the door, Master Jinn let in a padawan with a sealed letter in his hand.
"I have been given the errand of delivering these invitations Master Jinn. This one is for you."
Qui-Gon thanked the boy and saw him out. His hands shook because he realized by the bold print what he had. It was an invitation to Xanatos Crion's knighting ceremony.
Most everyone would stop by and greet the new knight but for the the private ceremony when the braid was cut, only a few were invited. Of course all the council masters would attend. This invitation was for him and him alone....
That in its self was unusual because usually if a master was invited the name of his padawan was placed on the card as a common courtesy to that master.
I guess Xanatos doesn't feel like being courteous when it comes to Obi-Wan and I.
His padawan broke his thoughts.
"What is it master?"
Obi-Wan was always a nosy child. That was something his master had to correct continually when Obi-Wan was trulty his apprentice and things had not changed.
"I believe this letter was addressed to me padawan."
Obi-Wan was not sure if his master was joking or if he had just handed down a reprimand to him. Obi could not tell. There seemed to be a hesitation in Qui-Gon's almost curt voice that sometimes indicated his master was not in a good mood. Kenobi thought he should just let it drop because they were both tired and he didn't want his master angry with him.
When the conversation started Master Jinn was not really angry at Obi-Wan when he asked what the note was about. But after he saw that his padawan was not going to push the issue as to who sent the letter, Qui-Gon offered no information. If Obi-Wan was satisfied to let the matter drop for now so was he. He did not want to upset Obi.
That was not the real reason. Qui-Gon wanted to have time to himself to think through things that happened between he and Xanatos. He was sad that he would not be the one to cut Xanatos' braid after they had spent ten years or more together. It was a great honor bestowed on a master to cut his apprentice's braid.
Qui-Gon regretted that he had that honor taken away. There in the middle of his common room he stood with his thoughts. Just who took it away. Was it Xanatos, Obi-Wan, or he, himself that caused some much friction between master and apprentice that he had to forfeit his right to cut Xanatos' braid.
With a deep sigh of regret and a shrug of his shoulders, the master laid the envelope on his desk.
"I am going to shower and ready myself for bed."
Qui-Gon's voice oozed with hurt and rejection.
Obi-Wan even looked up from his books because his master sounded so solemn.
"I should be finished with this homework by the time you are finished and I will also get ready for some well deserved sleep."
As soon as Qui-Gon left and Obi-Wan heard the shower come on, he rolled himself to his master's desk. He had to know what brought his master so much distress.
He hesitated at first. Obi-Wan drew his hand away after he touched the envelope. His eyes darted first to the fresher door then back to his master's desk where the envelope laid. He chewed on his lower lip as he thought through what he was about to do.
Padawan Kenobi knew he should not snoop in his master's personal notes. It was then that his right hand seemed to develop a mind of its own. Obi-Wan watched as his hand quickly reached out, snatched the note up, and pulled it from its envelope.
//Too late now to turn back.// thought Obi-Wan.
He read what it said.
//My master has been invited to Padawan Crion's knighting. How sweet of "Xani". I bet I won't be allowed to go. //
Obi-Wan slipped the note back in the envelope, placed it exactly where he picked it up from, and looked at the fresher door again before he moved away from the desk as quietly as his "antique" hover chair would allow..
I wonder why Master just didn't tell me what it was. It's not like I don't know "Xani" is to be knighted. I would have expected him to invite our master, so why keep it from me.
Obi-Wan looked at the envelope that laid on the desk a crossed the room. It was as if he expected to learn something just by looking at it, then an idea came to him.
Maybe my master does have regrets. Maybe he is upset with me because I have prevented him from what should have been his duty; too cut Xanatos' padawan braid.
His friend Bant said it is the most honored and intimate occasion between master and apprentice.
Obi-Wan heard the shower stop and knew his master would be out shortly to help him.
Maybe my master was angry with me tonight after he received his invitation. He probably wanted to be the one to cut Xani's braid. And now he resents me for not being able too…………….
Qui-Gon helped Obi-Wan that night as usual. The only difference, Obi's master seemed more distant than he usually was. He did not ask about Obi-Wan's therapy session and he didn't do the nightly ritual of joking and kidding with his apprentice. It had become the norm in the last few days to be very vocal and upbeat, but not tonight.
####
The next day brought the same distant master Obi-Wan encountered the night before. He was sure it had to do with that invitation that had come to his master the last night, however he could not put everything together.
While in his therapy with Master Darue, Obi-Wan tried in his typical teenage fashion to piece together the reasons for why his master was so down.
The only thing Obi-Wan could think of was that his master must have regrets because of keeping him over Xanatos.
It must have really upset my master that he will not be the master to participate in the braid cutting.
Obi-Wan fell for the fourth time that day. Master Darue looked up in time to see the final fall before he came over and stopped the session.
"Are you not feeling well Padawan. This is so unlike to fall so many times. I think we should call it a day. It would do no good to injure yourself and not be able to practice at all."
"I'm sorry I just lost my concentration for a minute, that's all."
"Well you must have lost it several times before. That makes the fourth time you have fallen. I think you should just rest today."
"I don't have a day to rest. We are down to ten days now. I have to keep going."
Obi-Wan did not mean to sound like he was yelling at the master healer, but his voice did raise and if anyone was around they might mistakenly assume Obi-Wan held yelled at his instructor.
As Obi-Wan's luck would have it his master had just come into the gym area where his apprentice had his practice sessions. He heard his padawan as he spoke to Master Healer Darue in what he thought was a less than courteous tone.
Master Jinn's voice echoed thunderingily through the hollowness of the empty gym.
"Padawan Kenobi apologize immediately to Master Darue for your conduct."
Obi-Wan let a low guttural moan. He had not meant for his voice to become so loud or disrespectful. He was caught up in the heat of the moment and his desire to succeed. It was so like his master to choose the worst time to come in. He witnessed his padawan's moment of uncontrolled excitement.
"It's alright Qui-Gon. I don't think the child meant to be rude. I suggested he take today off. He seems a little tired or off synch."
"That is no reason for a Jedi padawan to exhibit such display of discourtesy. Even without the force it only takes common respect for one's piers to be polite. Surely you can master that without the force Obi-Wan."
The padawan's cheeks glowed ruby red. He had been shot down by his master right in front of someone else. To Obi-Wan, his master's words were a humiliating reminder that he had so much to learn, he was a Jedi without the force. The master himself had alluded to the fact that his padawan could not even do what normal teens could, speak with respect and carry himself with dignity. The only thing Obi-Wan could do was hang his head.
He offered no other explanation. He didn't think his master wanted to hear anything out of him right now. Obi-Wan knew nothing he did was intentional and he felt he did not deserve the reprimand, but he would not argue with his master.
Let master think what he will. I know I never meant to be disrespectful to Master Darue.
Master Jinn's booming voice startled Obi-Wan out of his thoughts.
"I am waiting Obi-Wan Kenobi. I expect an aplogy to come from you right about now in order to keep yourself from further punishment."
Obi-Wan knew all too well that the three-name calling meant he was in more trouble than he bargained for.
"I'm sorry Master Darue. I did not mean to sound rude or to be so loud. I just wanted to improve my walking ability and I didn't want to stop for today."
Darue excepted Obi-Wan's apology before he turned to Jinn.
"I think the boy needs some rest today Qui-Gon. He does seem to be tired or preoccupied. I don't want him to hurt himself."
Obi-Wan looked pleadingily at the healer with his sad blue puppy-dog eyes. But as soon as he did, he knew it would do no good. The healer planned to tell his master how many times he had fallen that day.
He's going to tell my master how often I have messed up .
"Obi-Wan has fallen four times already and I don't want him to hurt himself. I suggested we call it a day."
"Well if he has fallen that many times then maybe he should go home. You may just rest yourself out of the temple Obi-Wan, if you keep making mistakes and not concentrating."
"In Obi-Wan's defense, I think he is exhausted.I don't think he let his mind wander or did not focus."
"Now you would like to tell me how to handle "this" padawan, Master Darue. If the boy is tired then in less than two weeks he can take an entire vacation, but now he needs to be hard at work if he expects to remain a Jedi"
Even the healer could tell that Jinn was not himself today.
"What is it Obi-Wan are you all that tired or has your mind wandered and you did not focus on the task at hand. Try to remember that Jedi do not lie."
Why is my master being so cruel?
Obi-Wan had no control of his shields and Jinn picked that moment to invade the boy's thoughts.
"I don't think I am cruel, I am being factual. Do you have complaints because of that, Padawan Kenobi? Now would you please answer the question. Are you tired or are you not concentrating today?"
Jinn glared down at Obi-Wan with blazing disappointment in his eyes.
Obi-Wan tried to make his mind go blank so he would not have any more thoughts he did not want his master to eavesdrop on.
"No master, I am not that tired. I guess…well I might have let my mind wander a bit today. I am sorry."
"Well at least when you are confronted, you can be truthful. Nevertheless, don't be sorry, just don't do anything to be sorry for. Apologies have a way of not meaning anything when you have to continually repeat them. Now I suggest you go back to our apartment and meditate on your actions and try to focus on the force that you so sorely lack in. I have a meeting with the council."
"I don't sorely "lack" in the force as you put it master. So far you have been unwilling or too busy to help me regain it."
Obi-Wan threw up his arm that the force band was on. It was another painful reminder to his master that he had put the dreaded force band on his apprentice, but as yet had found the time to take it off.
Neither the master or the apprentice spoke again.
Obi-Wan rolled himself out of the training gym just as fast as he could.The tears threatened to fall and he did not want his master or Healer Darue to see them.
He kept going over the events of last night. Had Xanatos' invitation made his master so angry that he had to take it out on Obi-Wan. Now it seemed they were back to square one in their relationship and Obi-Wan knew that was not a good thing.
Jinn turned to go after he saw Obi-Wan out.
"Master Jinn I don't think it is very conducive to treat Obi-Wan in such a manner. You should never reprimand your padawan in front of others. You have been a master long enough to know that."
Darue words were laced with the anger and pity he felt because of Obi-Wan.
" Master Darue, I hope not to make the same mistakes with this padawan as I did with the last. I am not going to coddle the boy. He needs to know where he stands. He has ten days to complete his tasks. If he keeps playing around it will not get done. I will not tolerate Obi-Wan's lack of determination or concentration."
" Until today Obi-Wan had put forth alot of effort toward his thearpy sessions. Maybe you are being too hard on him Qui."
Darue tried to use his long standing friendship with Qui-Gon to reason with him.
"And what if I am not hard enough. No Master Darue, I coddled Xanatos and look where that got me. I won't make the same mistakes with Obi-Wan. I certainly don't want to be known at the temple as the only master to have failed two padawans in consecutive order."
#############
By the time Qui-Gon got back to their home, Obi-Wan had regained his composure. He was busy at work with his academic studies. While he showed an outward appearance of composure he still was upset. However he would not say anything to his master because he did not want a repeat of their argument earlier in the day.
Master Jinn had lost his feelings of anger toward Obi-Wan. He knew he was too hard on his apprentice..
//I was more than hard on him. I acted like a master out of control. My padawan probably wonders what has gotten into me. I just wished Xanatos had not gone through his knighting ceremony until after our fourteen-day trial was up. It would have made things easier. I find it hard to deal with Obi-Wan and his need for rapid improvement of his skills and my failure of my last padawan. I was not even angry with Obi-Wan this afternoon. I was angry with the circumstance and he just happen to be there. Maybe I did take what Obi-Wan said out of context. He just might not have meant to sound rude to Master Darue.//
Master Jinn could not get it through his thick head that he did not fail his former padawan. Xani had failed his master as well as himself. Between the worry of failing his last apprentice and the more worrisome thought that he could fail Obi-Wan if the boy did not improve sufficiently, it was getting exceedingly hard for the master of perfection, Qui-Gon Jinn to balance his life.
Now it would be up to Master Jinn to take the first step to correct this latest rift between he and Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon knew what he must do. He would have to admit to his apprentice that today it was the master and not the apprentice who was in the wrong.?
Qui-Gon walked over to his desk, sat down on the edge of it and picked up the envelope that contained Xanatos knighting invitation.
After looking at the note again, Jinn let his eye drift slowly from the note in his hands to the miserable looking face of his padawan.
"Do you know what this is?"
Obi-Wan did not have to think twice. If he learned one thing while regaining his Jedi skills, he knew that he could not lie.
His words stumbled from his mouth as he told his master what he had done last night.
Qui-Gon sat very quietly as he balanced himself on the desk with his long legs stuck out and crossed.
"So you invaded my privacy."
It was a statement but Obi-Wan did not hear any anger in the words."
"A little like you did this afternoon master when you went into to mind to see what I thought."
Jinn stared at his padawan and hesitated at what seemed like an eternity to his apprentice.
Obi-Wan thought he saw a small smile start to spread a cross his master's face. He then thought it must be his imagination.
"Touché Padawan. I think on that count we are equal. We are both guilty of invading the other's privacy. I have no reprimand for what you did by reading this, just a warning, do not do it again."
There it was again. Just as before, another statement and still no anger to back the words up; certainly not like the afternoon's conversation he and his master had.
"I won't let my thoughts drift from my task at hand master. I won't aplogize for it again. I just won't let it happen anymore."
"I know Obi. I was a little out of sorts today and may have jumped to the wrong conclusions when I came in to your thearpy session. I guess my thoughts were other places as well."
Qui-Gon looked again at the invitation in his hand before he tossed it back on the desk.
"Well master I guess we are even. We both invaded the other's privacy and we both are guilty of letting our thoughts wander instead of focusing on the present, as Master Yoda so fondly likes to say."
Now the smile that Obi-Wan thought he saw creeping on his master's face radiated even a crossed their slightly lop-sided training bond.[Obi needed his force abilities to even up that bond.]
"Very well padawan. I say we call a truce, have last-meal, and then meditate together. I have a feeling with your problems to deal with and the knighting of Padawan Crion, we will have more than we know what to deal with. We will look to the force to help us conquer our challenges"…..
Obi-Wan set nervously on his bed, as he tried to focus on his studies. It was extremely hard to do. His master attended the knighting ceremony for Xanatos. Obi-Wan was as sure as he could be that his master did not regret the choice he made when he defended Obi and cut Xani out of his life, but he had just a touch of worry in the back of his mind.
He shook it off and waited for his master who had promised he would not be long.
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Master Yoda stood by Qui-Gon to lend him his moral support. He knew his former padawan needed it this night. The worst part of the ceremony was about to begin.
Master Plo Koon stood in front of the group of Jedi assembled as Master Plo Koon cut Xanatos Crion's braid. The now knight Xani turned and looked squarely into the sea-blue eyes of his master. There was no love in that look. If anything there was anger for his master not being the one to cut the braid as he had always hoped.
The Jedi group disassembled and went to the buffet tables to grab some food. Jinn felt obligated to go over and congratulate his former apprentice.
"Well you made it, congratulations."
"Thank You Qui-Gon."
Xanatos intentionally left off the master as if to hurt his former master. He succeeded. Qui-Gon had never heard Xani call him just "Qui-Gon" before.
"Thank you for honoring the invitation and not bringing Obi-Wan."
"Knight Xanatos if you plan to start on Obi-Wan then let's not begin this conversation. I do not want this special night for you to be marred by an argument between us."
"Now relax Qui-Gon, I meant no disrespect to your Obi. I just thought I would feel better with him not here and I do appreciate your consideration for me by not bringing him here. That is all."
"Very well. I don't think I will stay for any refreshments. I left Obi-Wan alone with his homework."
"Well now we have to have one drink to toast my knighting, even if you won't stay and have something to eat."
Jinn hesitated and then agreed to one drink with his former padawan.
Master Plo Koon made his cirlce in the crowd and excepted the congratulations that should have been Jinn's by rights. He was in a jovial mood for the grump of a master that he was. He hoped now to join Xani on his missions and make a name for himself in the Jedi order; thus toppling Master Yoda's head position on the council.
Qui-Gon had a drink with Xanatos to toast his knighting. After he waited what he thought was long enough time, he tried to excuse himself.
"Wait Qui-Gon I would like to say one last thing if I may have just a moment more of your time."
"Very well. Then I really do have to leave. It is starting to get late."
"Yes well it it is almost 9:00 in the evening. The party has just started. However let me say one thing and I will give you your leave."
Xanatos waited and looked at his master until he was sure he had his attention. Jinn watched his former padawan with a certain curiosity.
"If something should happen and Obi-Wan has to leave the Jedi temple, I would be more than honored to come back and start my first missions as a knight with you. I know Master Plo Koon has offered to oversee me for a year, but I have the feeling that the council would not object to my true master taking over my supervision for a year."
Jinn could not believe Xanatos had the nerve to ask such a thing. They parted on less friendly terms and Jinn thought he had made it clear that if Obi-Wan was sent from the temple, he would follow.
"Xanatos I appreciate your offer, but I have made it clear, if Obi goes so will I."
" I had hoped you had thought that ridiculous statement over and withdrew it by now. Master the Jedi is your life. You can't throw it away for that kid."
"I think I should leave now Knight Crion. Good luck with your missions ahead. As for what you said ,I have no answer for it. You know where I stand. We have no need to finish this conversation."
"Have it your way Master. I certainly did not mean to cause you stress, but the offer stands if you ever should change your mind."
Jinn quickly wheeled around and left the hall…………………TBC
PEACE ewen