Swept. That was how she felt. Swept. Swept away, lost, without purpose, whatever you wanted to call it, but it's true. It's funny really, she thought. Here I am, saying I have no purpose. I, of all people, feel as if I have no purpose. If it was so damned pitiful she would have laughed, would have ten years ago. Back... back until HE found her, nurtured her and helped her see things clearly for the first time in what seemed like ages. For that alone she owed it to him.
For so long she, and so many others, were as she felt now, lost and without a cause. They only felt desolate and despair, knowing that there was no way out, no way to escape except for that last, final leap, but they were all too chicken to do it. That was what made them different from the others, bonded them together. While They would have sought release from it all, they stuck it out, too afraid to do the noble thing but more terrified of what they would see on the other side or what wasn't there. Their only thought on survival, nothing more. He changed all that. Gave them purpose, gave them something to do, gave them back the hope that was pulled out of them so long ago.
Now...after all that's happened over such a short period of time, she knew she would have to act. They wanted to her to stay here, twiddling her thumbs while they tortured and hurt him and wait for the infamous Harry Potter to come and save their butts. Fat chance, she thought, glancing to the other side of the room. He was so peaceful, his face relaxed and without the wrinkles that had plagued him so.
It's quiet, she realized, so accustomed to hearing the screams and the shrieks of the men and women being tortured on the island. It was as if they knew who was in their presence the last few days and it was for His benefit that it was so blissfully silent.
It sickened her to see him like that -- thrown in a heap against the wall, his face bruised, the clothes on his body bloodied. Though you could hardly tell that the blood had seeped through his black clothing, the puddle surrounding him was a give away that he was soaked.
At first she had tried to deny it, that it wasn't happening. He had promised that he would never get caught and if he did that there would be hope. Thinking back, she could remember his silky voice telling her that nothing could ever go wrong. He planned everything to the tiniest detail, always with a contingency plan -- it was how he worked. And he spoke with such conviction, one could not help being lured into his world, his mind and seduced by his voice. When people heard him speak, they could help but be persuaded by him. But in truth it was no more him than any other person. The only reason why he got people to follow him was the fact that he never gave up, never thought they could ever lose. It was that fervor that convinced the most people that they could actually succeed. There was never any doubt in his mind.
And they loved that, the people. Here was a person willing to risk his life so they could have somewhat of a normal life. He gave them hope that they too could rise up and defy a being that had been revered in terror for so long. That was how everything began.
Sure there was Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived as the Wizarding community so fondly dubbed him, but to them he was nothing but an image. As a child he defeated You-Know-Who with the love of his mother and as a young adult he triumphed over the Dark Lord year after year. But to those who knew him, went to school with him saw nothing within him that made him special. He was a boy, just as they were. Though he might have tried to hide the fact that everyone -- well nearly everyone -- thought of him as a savior, they all knew that he secretly loved it. Who wouldn't?
And even though they had known him, been in contact with them, Potter never took the time of day to even acknowledge they existed. Of course they were Slytherins, but one would think the great Harry Potter wouldn't fall so easy with hearsay and stereotypes. But he did, just like the rest of them. They are all fools! she snared, remembering the scorn, the dirty looks. Couldn't they see?
The sad thing was that they didn't and what was worst was that they never tried.
That perhaps laid the groundwork for him to rise up. He took what had been under the mighty Gryffindors' -- and Dumbledore's, or so they thought -- thumb. He knew what it was like to be judged on a daily basis and found lacking. He understood, he saw.
She hadn't known that she loved him at first. Sure, she did her part, played the ditzy and none too bright girlfriend because they were expected to be together, but she never expected for her to feel anything that was anything but two people who had common goals in life. Then, slowly, it crept upon her, undermining her abilities -- and at the same time shocking her a great deal. She never really had friends, never had any close relationship with anybody and when it suddenly happened they had became friends, she almost didn't recognize it. To finally have it scared her the most because no matter how strong he was and how much he believed that everything was going to be okay, she still had silent doubts. She could never bear it if she had to lose him. To her they were friends, colleagues and partners, but somehow, later on, their somber relationship grew to be more. She had never had siblings and neither did he so none of them knew what it was like to feel like they belonged. Together they felt that their somewhat skewed made sense. She cared and loved him like a brother and in many ways he was more her family than any of her relatives. So there was no chance -- none -- that she was going to entrust the person that matters the most to her to Potter and his idiot friend. Glancing over to the body, the slow up and down movement of his chest, she whispered, "No chance at all."
"Harry!" Hermione cried, pulling her friend into a big hug.
"Hey, Hermione," Harry greeted quietly as she released him. "Where's Ron?" he asked, taking a look around the flat. It had been a while since he last visited, but the place still looked the same.
"In the kitchen, cooking," she answered distractedly. Taking a look at her old friend, Hermione noted the subtle differences in Harry's appearance. The boy that was once her friend and childhood companion had grown up and was apparent. The lines near his eyes were clear, as were the bags under them, revealing that he was sleeping. You could feel the fatigue radiating off him and that alarmed her. How was he going to do what ever he was going to tonight if he wasn't at his best?
Hermione Granger Weasley was no fool. She graduated top of her class and grabbed an illustrious job within the Ministry. Though her and her husband's paths diverged long ago, she held no illusions that what Ron was doing in the War was anything but safe. He had chosen -- as Harry -- to go under Headmaster Dumbledore's guidance and whatever that had him going out late at night and back at all times of the day couldn't be good.
She respected Ron's decision and he did hers. But that didn't stop her from worrying. She remembered the things what they had gone through back when they were still at Hogwarts. She knew firsthand that threat that Voldemort posed, both from first hand experience and from detailed reports they had gotten from their operatives.
Rising in the Ministry was not hard. She worked hard, dedicated herself and she succeeded. It also helped that the War was taking so many lives and that there was a shortage of good women and men to work behind the scenes. She helped plan, helped think up of ways to thwart the Dark Lord and his plots to purify the world. And because of her dedication, she kept on rising and rising. There was very little that she wasn't privy to now.
So she knew what Ron did, even though he didn't talk about it. She knew the dangers involved and she knew, somewhat, what the men in her life were feeling.
Ron was the love of her life and she knew she was his. They had each other to rely on, but Harry... Harry had nobody.
For a while he had Aislynn and it seemed as if things were looking up. Harry was in love, this time reciprocated, the Dark hadn't made a move in months with no major deaths. Everything seemed to be great and they relished the uneventfulness of their lives. After so many years of things happening every other second, disrupting their lives, a little of nothing was greatly welcomed.
But then she died... The damn bitch! Hermione thought, wanting to snarl out loud. Even the thought of her made her skin crawl. She hadn't found out about it for years afterward, but when she did, it blew away all the misconceptions she had about the woman. It was clear that Ron didn't know about it -- he still spoke of her fondly while Hermione had to resist the urge to yell and bare teeth like a savage at the mention of her name.
Harry was a bit harder to tell though. Whether or not he knew was never in the reports, and speculation was all she had to go on. After the funeral, Harry seemed to retreat into himself and refused to mention Aislynn at all. It was as if he denied her existence.
The hard part was that his silence could be interpreted in several different ways, each in opposite directions. Just when Hermione thought she figured out if Harry knew the truth, something would pop up to contradict it.
Hermione let out a soft sigh as she pulled the man who was just in his embrace into the flat she and Ron lived in. Nearly five years they had lived in the medium, one bedroom, one bath flat and still they haven't moved into a house. Almost immediately, as the thought seized her, nagging her on the reason why she and Ron haven't taken the next step yet, she closed her mind, shutting the thought out. Now was not the time to think about it.
She looked back at her friend and motioned him to sit. When Harry made no move to, she reached out and pulled his unresisting body down to the sofa. "So," she began, with no real direction in mind other than to put him at ease. "What have you been up to?"
Harry shrugged, still silent.
It scared her that after all they had been through together, that they couldn't talk to each other, but it seemed as if everything was like that these days. Everybody was hiding something, everybody wasn't talking, everybody knew something but never the people who needed to know. It frustrated her that everything seemed to run in a damn circle, no beginning and no end. It's been so long, she can't even remember a time when the threat of Voldemort didn't loom over their heads.
She needed to open him up and to get him talking. This could be her last chance to talk to Harry alone, before he and Ron went. "What's Dumbledore got you into? Ron's been telling me you and he need to leave tonight."
Harry's eyes narrowed and it pained Hermione to see it. She could see it in his eyes. He was going to lie to her. "Nothing special," Harry responded evasively. "What..." Harry paused, his voice catching on his throat. "What exactly did Ron tell you?"
Hermione leaned in closer and glanced at the door separating the sitting room and the kitchen. She could hear the clanging of the pots and the makings of Ron's little puttering. "Nothing. He's told me nothing." She fixed Harry with a hard gaze. "That's why you are going to tell me everything."
Harry started, his eyes wide as he stared at Hermione, but she didn't relent. "Nine years, nearly ten," she argued softly, just out of range of the kitchen. "You and Ron have been doing this for nine years and I have stood by and took everything you had to throw at me. I've waited for you and he, stood in the sidelines because you refused my help and expertise and waited for word to come back that you have been killed or captured because of your foolishness. This is not a game -- No, don't talk," Hermione interrupted, raising a hand to keep Harry from speaking. "Listen to what I have to say and then you can speak. I know you are probably thinking that you don't consider this a game and I know you don't. Even if you did you would have abandoned that long ago. I have waited for you, shed tears for you and I have ached for your return every time you've gone out for another of Dumbledore's little missions. Now I want you to tell me what it is you and Ron are going to do tonight." Hermione ended her little speech with a little puff. Looking at Harry she could see he was a tad bit shocked and just a little dumbfounded.
Regaining himself quickly and with such an ease that amazed Hermione, Harry turned his eyes onto her and Hermione felt herself hold her breath. He was alert now, wary and cautious, wondering what had brought the little tirade. This was who Harry Potter was, a strong, passionate man, but not to a fault. You could see his eyes calculating every move, every word and it struck her how much Harry resembled another great and powerful man, one who was just as passionate and just as guileful.
Now was the real test -- would he tell or would he evade? What does he take me for? Hermione questioned, wondering if what he said was true. Does he really not see me? Does he really believe I could be such a fool? She stilled, waiting for the answer, both in anticipation and dread. Scared that if she moved, she would ruin everything she had built up that night, she sat motionless.
After what seemed like hours of she sitting still and Harry contemplating his answer, Harry finally slumped back into the seat and sighed. Rubbing his face, he peeked out through his fingers. "It's a rescue mission."
Hermione let out her breath in a rush, letting her knew she had been holding it in the first place. Up until then, she didn't really know how much four little words could mean to her. She was so relieved that she missed a part of what Harry was saying.
"...the Gregon, right? Well he exists. I know it seems mind-boggling but it's true. The Grey Dragon is real and every story we've heard is true as well. The bad news is that he's been captured and we need to get him out. He's one of us and he had information we need. That's what tonight's all about, Herm, that's all. It's really a routine assignment and we'll be back in tomorrow," Harry tried to ease. "I'm sorry for keeping all this from you," he apologized profusely. "But you know how Ron doesn't like to worry you... And their was the secrecy issue..." Harry drifted off, not being able to think of any more excuses.
She tried to give him a big smile -- to show she wasn't mad or upset, but it ended up just as a little weak one instead. Resting a hand on Harry's arm, she soothed, "It's okay really. I understand -- well, most of it. It's just that --" she broke off and jump up onto her feet.
Walking around the room, she paced and stopped right in front of Harry and turned to face him. "It's just that I couldn't take it any more. You and Ron have been working for Dumbledore and have been working on all these things that you refuse to talk about, shutting me out completely and I...I just didn't like it. It made me feel as if you and Ron were harboring this big secret, that I could never be apart of it."
Harry got up and walked over to where Hermione was standing and this time it was he who enveloped her in a hug. He had never meant to make her feel that way and he was sure Ron would never deliberately hurt his wife that way. He pulled away and looked into Hermione's eyes. "I'm sorry."
Hermione moved away from Harry and after a moment turned back. "I know you are," she sighed. Letting go a big breath, she tried to explain, deciding that this was the moment to come clean. "Everything's just been so screwed up lately...especially with Draco being caught like that..."
A/N: This took a lot longer than I thought it would but I think I have to face it... One week is now going to be two. There are too many things in my life right now and a 2 week (but hopefully it doesn't take that long) period would give me a lot of room.
WildfireFriendship: I wanna read about a 12 year old Draco too... I'm sorry I didn't get to it yet, but it's coming...
Rerisu: Making Draco just sudden appear as a spy is too easy. Besides, what I like is the story behind it all, why he does what he does. To me no one does anything without reason, even the choice of doing nothing is not without reason. I hope I make sense...
Amaiko: Like I told WildfireFriendship, you'll have to wait a little longer. But be assured, it's in the next few chapters...
We'll that's about it. As always, thanks to Red Dragon Order who is probably my most fastest beta reader.