"What?" I asked, slowly and drawn out. My eyes search her face, but it betrayed nothing. She was staring at me, her sole attention focused on me and nothing else. Though Ron might find this flattering, to me it was bloody unnerving.
For a few moments before, right after her little sigh I saw everything, every little line on Herm's face, every worry and I could see the exhaustion that was plaguing her. And then, all of a sudden it was gone -- as if someone had just turned off the lights, Herm turned off her emotions to the outside world.
In the past she had been unreadable, but she wasn't beyond making her feelings known. You could always tell when she approved or disapproved without her ever saying something but there were always times where she hid herself, when she didn't want to be read. This time was different though. I don't think she was doing it deliberately though...
When Herm had learned to hide her feelings so adeptly, he didn't know and it shocked him to find out that there were aspects of Hermione he didn't know about. She, who was one of his best friends! Did this happen over night? Was it always there or did she develop it? Why didn't I see it before? His mind was going in twelve different directions at once and each leading to the same conclusion: He didn't know his friend as well as he thought he did.
Glancing over to the door that led to the kitchen, he briefly wondered if Ron knew about this aspect of his life. Almost as soon as that thought came to him, he dismissed it. He would have mentioned it to me, Harry rationalized.
He swallowed hard as Hermione's deliberate laying of the truth. "Everything's just been so screwed up lately...especially with Draco being caught like that..." -- yes, he thought it was deliberate. After so many years of being with the Ministry and with the War, he couldn't believe that Hermione could be so careless and she was anything but.
"I'm so sorry Harry," Hermione tried soulfully. "I hadn't meant to tell you like this..."
"Tell me what?!" Harry exclaimed loudly, not following. Immediately he looked over to the kitchen area and lowered his voice as he demanded, "What are you talking about?!" First she drops the bomb with telling him she knew Malfoy had been caught, then this roundabout thing about telling him something that he still had no clue about.
Hermione breathed in deeply. "I've been with the Ministry of Magic for a long time, yes?"
Still confused, Harry nodded. "From the end of the seventh year."
"Nine years is a long time to devote one's time, Harry. You can't have been that naive to think that in nine years I could have stayed in the same position without advancing."
"Well," he stammered, not really have considered that idea. He supposed he should have known Hermione would have been promoted and he remembered times where the three of them had celebrated a promotion, but most of the time he really hadn't thought about it.
"I may not have been living the glorious life fighting Lord Voldemort like you and Ron were, but still contributed," Hermione continued.
"Of course," Harry quickly agreed. "We always knew you were doing something, just not what it was exactly."
"Do you know what my job title is?" Hermione asked curiously.
"No..." Harry reddened at not knowing a piece of information that in all respects should have known.
Hermione waved it away as if it was nothing. "No matter. Currently I am being known as the Head Operative in Charge of Covert Operations, but that just means I plan and I supervise the different missions the Ministry had going, with the exception of Dumbledore's little operation," she explained. Dumbledore had always been an exception in the Wizarding world and so exempt.
Harry stayed silent, content with letting Hermione tell her tale. There was nothing he could add, nothing he could contribute that wouldn't just hinder her.
"About four years ago I was let into the secret of the Grey Dragon. I was shocked to say the very least to learn who it truly was," Hermione laughed weakly. "Probably what you felt when Dumbledore explained the truth to you today. From that moment on I was designated as Draco's "handler". He reported directly either to me or to Dumbledore."
Hermione paused and Harry took the initiative to interrupt her with a question that was plaguing him. "Why you?" It didn't make sense to him. Why Hermione of all people? There were a lot more qualified people in the Ministry -- not to say Herm would have made a bad job of it, but what made Hermione so special? During their Hogwarts days, she and Malfoy weren't exactly buddy-buddy.
And there was the fact that Dumbledore had made it clear that Malfoy had went to him for help and not the Ministry of Magic. The line between Dumbledore and the Ministry was great -- for years Dumbledore had worked outside of the Ministry's scope, though he did abide by their rules. There would be no reason for his Dumbledore to let the Ministry into one of his ventures.
Hermione gave him a ghastly smile, chilling Harry to the bone. Never had he seen that type of grin on Hermione before, making him wonder if he really knew this woman who he'd called friend.
"We are not idiots," Hermione retorted. "Do you really think Dumbledore could have kept this from us?"
Harry didn't answer, only shrugged, neither confirming or denying. But the truth was that he did. Dumbledore have done so and many times before so it surprised that something like the Gregon that was so case-sensitive would have been found out by an outside party.
"Dumbledore was very good at keep it a secret," Hermione began again, deciding to keep how the Ministry found about Draco Malfoy as a spy for Dumbledore for another time. She wasn't exactly sure if it was hers to tell Harry. "And for years we didn't know about him, but his existence got to selected circles." Thinking back, she added, "About the same time as the stories of the Grey Dragon leaked out to the public."
Not a coincidence, Harry thought, storing the information for later. Now was the not the time to dwell on every little thing Hermione told him, especially when she was giving him subtle clues with every breath.
"When we found out the truth, we hounded Dumbledore for information and we demanded to be part of the operation. He finally agreed and we work in tandem, but for years we didn't do much, only gathering information that Draco had passed onto us. But as to your earlier question there's a simple answer -- Draco wanted me. He asked for me specifically. But I don't really know why --" She paused, her voice catching. Adverting her eyes for a moment, she clear her throat and tired again. "Just that he did."
Harry didn't miss the slip but stored it away as he did with the earlier clue Hermione had hinted. He sat silently, regarding her. She was calmly relaxing, as if nothing could bother her. How she could be so collected while he was so nonplused was beyond him.
How could she have kept this from us? Harry wondered, hurt at this betrayal. For years Hermione had kept her secrets to herself, not once confiding in one of them -- and Ron was her husband! In the past she would have came to them first, above all else, now... What happened to us? Did things between us have gotten so bad that she would willingly keep things from us? Hurt, Harry looked away.
Hermione grabbed Harry, forcing him to look at her. She could see the emotions warring on his face -- betrayal, hurt, shock -- they were all very clear and evident. In a lot of ways he was still the righteous little boy she once knew, so very easy to take offense at the slightest hint of gray. And he had always been so expressive, unable to hide his emotions. As he grew older, he had gotten more and more adapt at hiding his emotions, a trait that served him well in his line of work. Still Hermione knew Harry from way back when and she still knew what to look for on his face.
Although she felt a slight ache in her chest at his reaction to the truth, she understood that he had a right to be. It was one of the reasons why she put of telling either of them for so long. But as she understood what Harry was feeling, she could only hope that he understood why she had done as she had done.
She quickly cast her eyes to the kitchen door. Ron, she thought with a sigh. Even after so many years of loving him, his name still made her heart flutter, making her feel like a schoolgirl with her first crush. It was incredibly clich\'e9, she knew, but it was how she felt. Every glimpse of the man made her pause, her breathing suddenly labored and a hard knot at her throat. It was silly, it was irrational, but love is silly and it is irrational and even though it makes her feel so insignificant, she wouldn't trade it for anything. Her life was so much more with Ron in it and she knew that the moment Ron doesn't walk away from one of his little missions from Dumbledore she wouldn't want to keep on living. There would be no purpose. Hell, she had only taken the Ministry job at Ron's insistence and the only reason why she had worked so hard at her job was the hope that when Voldemort was gone, they would all be free.
"Harry," she murmured. "I'm sorry if this was a surprise for you, but I'm not going to apologize for keeping my work from you and Ron."
Harry's head snapped back to Hermione, his eyes searching hers but Hermione refused to be intimidated. Instead of cowering, she looked straight into Harry's eyes, trying to convey that she was telling the truth. "I did what I had to do and I still believe it was the right thing. Telling you or Ron might have jeopardized everything we had worked for -- everything that Draco had worked for. This was his life -- he would have been devastated for all of it to fall on him if word had gotten out that we had accidentally let the cat out of the bag."
"It's a bit too late now, isn't it?" Harry questioned sarcastically. Whether Hermione like it or not, the truth had gotten out and now Malfoy was captured.
He tried to understand what Hermione had told him and the reasons why she felt she had to keep the truth from her best friend and husband. But neither he or Ron would have let something of that magnitude out on accident and that Hermione thought they could... It just made him feel sick. He didn't know what to think any more.
"I couldn't take the chance Harry," Hermione spoke strongly. "I know you -- or Ron wouldn't tell, but if I did there's always a chance that someone would find out from one of you."
"You didn't tell either of us and they still found out," Harry argued.
Hermione sighed. "I know. I know." She swallowed hard and stood up. "That's why I wanted to talk to you, before you go. No one has ever made it to Malos Island and no one has ever made it out of Malos Manor alive."
"Don't you think we know?" Harry retorted, a bit annoyed at Hermione for stating the obvious. But with one look to her face showed him that she was seriously worried. "Hey, don't worry," he reassured. "We aren't exactly just somebody." They were the Boy Who Lived and Ronald Weasley, his best friend. They were know for being able to do things normal people wouldn't be able to do. The stories about them almost rivals the ones about the Grey Dragon.
Hermione sighed. "I know. That's why Dumbledore would trust you to rescue Draco and why I'm hoping you'll get out of this alive."
Harry pursed his lips. "Yesterday I got the feeling that Dumbledore regarded Malfoy fondly..."
Hermione nodded. "More than fondly. Dumbledore has probably been the only constant thing in Draco's life. They've connected in many ways and I know that Draco feels the same way for Dumbledore."
Harry's eyes widened as he contemplated how that sounded and almost as quickly as he came to his conclusion, he dismissed it, chastising himself for even thinking about it. "How?" Harry asked hoarsely.
"How what?"
"How does Draco feel for Dumbledore?"
Puzzled, Hermione shrugged. "I don't know... we haven't really talked about it but I got the feeling that he looks up to Dumbledore -- like a father," Hermione answered, oblivious to the torment inside of Harry.
He didn't know why, but the thought of Draco and Dumbledore... He shuddered at the thought, wondering what had possessed him to think of the two of them together. Determined to put the thought away from his mind, he tried to think about other things. A deep clash ringing from the kitchen brought his head up, reminding him of Ron who was just in the next room over. Abruptly, a question came to his mind and he wondered how Hermione was going to tell Ron.
"I'm not," Hermione answered firmly, startling Harry. He had not realized that he had spoken out loud. Halting Harry's protestations she calmly explained that she didn't want to ruin what she and Ron had, not when this could be his last night on this world. "Wouldn't it be better if Ron died happy and thinking there was nothing wrong than for him to die carelessly wondering why his wife had vexed him? Besides," Hermione reconciled, "If you two do make it out safe then we won't have anything to worry about and I'll tell him then."
Harry opened his mouth to speak more but at that moment, Ron chose to pop out of the kitchen.
With a big grin on his face he announced that dinner was done and it was time to eat. As they piled to the dining room table, no one noticed Ron's lingering gaze on Hermione nor the raggedness of his person.
Running her hand through her hair, she stalked the grounds, making her rounds. She did this every night ever since she had been posted here on the island. Draco had gotten some strings pulled to get her here -- an ace in the hole, he had called it. Remembering his voice with a bittersweet smile, she tried to decided whether or not to do as they had told her.
When it came to Draco and his advisors, she was up there at the top as his most trusted confidante, but she wasn't the only one. For the most part he relied on nobody but himself, but he still had people whom he knew could be trusted. People who were just as dedicated and would do anything for the cause. They manage the trivial things that didn't need Draco's constant attention.
Who are they, she fumed, to tell me what I can and cannot do? It wasn't right. I have dedicated my life to taking You-Know-Who down! I have sworn my allegiance to Draco, and Draco only. If they think that gives them the right to tell me what to do... She couldn't continue the thought, red spots appearing in her vision, an indication as to how upset she was getting.
Grabbing the sides of her cloak and pulling them so they covered her body more tightly, she trudged on the dirt path towards the pair of guards on the lookout for intruders. They've got no right! she thought furiously, repeating herself. Enraged she tried to think of the different ways she could kill them, harm them and hurt them. The possibilities were endless. One little well placed remark to You-Know-Who... she thought speculatively. And a little planting of evidence... It would be so easy, she relished. Licking her lips at the thought, she closing her eyes in pleasure. Reluctantly, she opened her eyes again, disappointment gleaming in her eyes. She knew that if Draco got out -- and he will if she has anything to do with it -- he would rely on them to pass the information on. They would be the ones continuing his work and he would need as many of them as he could get. It was too bad really. She was looking forward at hurting one of them. Sighing, she thought wistfully, I could always hope one of them is a traitor.
Her eyes hardened as she thought about the subject that was plaguing her: how You-Know-Who had found out about Draco in the first place. Though that it always had been a real possibility that one of them could let something slip and get caught, that it would be Draco Malfoy, the leader of their movement who would be the one who was caught... They had never really thought it possible.
They had planned for it, Draco insisting upon it even through their objections. He hadn't been that deluded to think that he could be infallible and had relentlessly drilled into their head that no one was perfect and soon or later they would mess up. And when they did, they would have a plan for it because they had the foresight to think ahead.
He had been so commendable, so powerful. He knew how to plan and he knew how to bide his time which had made him a great leader. While the Wizarding world had the Grey Dragon to look to, they had Draco. Why anyone would want to betray him was a mystery to her.
Mentally she ran through the list of potential people who would lack the backbone to turn Draco in. Sadly she had found too many people. Too many people in their organization were afraid of death, afraid of torture and most of all, afraid of You-Know-Who. Most of those who hadn't been with them for that long were still not dedicated enough to die for their cause.
Putting her thoughts on hold for a moment as she neared the duo of guards, braced herself, putting her persona on as one would put on a shirt. She walked straight up to them, regarding them with a disdainful eye. Her mouth settled as a sarcastic quirk as the two wizards tried to act as if they detected her appearance, even though they had not. How they had missed her was beyond her. She had been walking down the path for a good five minutes, long enough for them to spot her. They were young, she observed, and judging from the way they trembled it was clear that they were afraid of her. Good, she thought with a satisfied smirk. They should be.
"Have you seen anything?" she roughly asked.
They shook their heads no. The taller one of the two shifted his feet and ventured a audible reply. "No...no ma'am. No one."
Raising an eyebrow, she looked at the two of them incredulously. "No one?" They nodded. "What about animals? There could be animagi."
Stricken, the two tried to recall if they had seen any animal. "No...I...I...don't...don't think so," the other stuttered.
She was not amused. If she had really cared if there had been animagi or people sneaking onto the island she would have been incensed at the stupidity of the two guards.
"You don't think?"
"No ma'am. There was nothing."
They sounded more confident this time and if she wasn't in a hurry to leave she would have pursued it further. "Fine." She nodded to the two of them, both looking relieved at being let off the hook this one time. "And this time?" They looked at her expectantly. "Don't worry so much about your girls -- worry about your lives because the next time I find you not fulfilling your duty..." She left the rest unsaid, just walking away, content that she had made her point.
One look at her watch told her it was ten 'til eight and she continued on her rounds, her mind back on the "favor" Draco's most trusted associates had asked of her. They knew how she felt about the matter. They had no business involving Dumbledore's prize team in the rescue of one of their own. They should be doing it themselves -- after all, they were the ones who had the most to lose if the potion wears off.
And then they had the audacity to ask her to lead the two men through the island to the Manor. She was the only one on the island and she being so close to Draco, they said, made her the obvious choice as well as the only choice. She had to help them, they argued, Draco would have wanted it.
Ugh! she cried in frustration. She wanted to be the one who rescues Draco. She wanted to exclude the Weasel and the Boy Who Lived. Yet they wanted her to help them rescue him.
She didn't know whether or not to do as they said. They were right about one thing and that was that Draco would have wanted her to help the two of them. For some reason he had always had the utmost respect for the pair, but then again it could have been his admiration for the old man that clouded his feelings. They were, after all, Dumbledore's treasured team.
She hadn't known about the rescue that Dumbledore had concocted until that day -- she never really dealt with him personally. It was always someone else or Draco that he had communicated through.
When they had planned for if Draco had gotten caught all those years ago was nothing much. He always said that if he got caught, he would be taken care of and that he would be rescued -- just not by them. It wasn't much of plan, but Draco insisted on it and since they never really believed that he could be captured, they didn't give it much thought.
She had been planning Draco's rescue ever since he had been transferred over to the island and now that the two outsiders were going to but in, it was going to mess up her plan to get Draco out.
Yet, she could just leave them on the island unsupervised. They could end up causing more troubles for her that way. The dilemma was making her head spin and as she wandered the island, thinking of the different reason why she should and why she shouldn't guide Potter and Weasley. With every reason, she thought of the different scenarios that could happen if that were to take place, but her mind kept going to back to what if she wasn't there to guide the two. It would most likely endanger Draco himself, endanger her as well as endanger their whole operation. If they were caught they would be a danger to their side of the movement, in turn hurting her side of it. It could cripple everything they had worked for nearly a decade.
Her mind still undecided and her eyes unseeing as she tried to make up her mind. Once look at the sky told her she better make it up soon. Potter and Weasley were due to arrive in the next hour.
A/N: A bit longer this time... Hopefully this time I'll be able to upload the HTML version...
WildfireFriendship: About the first section... I'm not sure who the person in the first section is either, but I have a thought. :)
SoulSister: Thanks! I'm glad you think so, but I can assure you, I'm only okay.
Amaiko: :) Hopefully this slightly longer chapter makes up for the wait.
Dak: Well, we're getting there.
Let's give thanks to my beta, the beta who made me posting this today happen. I sent it to her this afternoon and within one hour she returned it. Isn't she quick? Next chapter is due when the next chapter is up.