Damn you, school! It completely turned my attention away from this. The long awaited return shall be waited for no more!

Chapter 13: A Little Trip to Onett

Samus: Hmm...I guess I didn't notice that Pikachu was sleeping.

Peach: Aw...it's so cute.

Kirby: Hmph!

Yoshi: You know...Pikachu is about five times as cute as Kirby hehehe .

Kirby: Grr...CUTE MY ARSE! You will have to fight that rodent in the Super Smash Brothers Melee tournament.

Peach: Yeah...but I just want to hug and squeeze it right now.

*Kirby looks disgusted by Peach's words. Pikachu begins to wake up, and Peach grabs him, hugs him, and squeezes him until an electric shock fries her.*

Kirby: Heh...do you think it's so cute now?

Pikachu: Pika!

Peach: Eh...I should have remembered that he doesn't like being hugged and squeezed too tight! That was my fault.

*Pikachu hops into Peach's arms and makes a little noise as if he were sorry that he fried her to a crisp. Peach hugs him again but not too tight.*

Peach: Mario, I want a Pikachu for my birthday!

Mario: Where am-a I suppose to get-a one?

Peach: I don't know, just get me one!

Samus: Next stop, Onett! Who is coming?

Kirby: I'll go...just to get away from those two.

Zelda: Onett can't be a bad town...I'll go. Coming, Link?

*Link nods*

Samus: YOU! You have been a waste of space. Do something useful.

Gdorf: Me?

Samus: Yes you. Come with us...and don't destroy anything!

Popo: If you don't mind, Nana and I would like to go.

Samus: Well come on. We are here now.

Peach: Hey, wait! Pikachu and I will come.

Kirby: In that case, I'll stay here.

Yoshi: Guess I'll stay too. Perfect opportunity to tease Kirby beyond imagination...if Falcon doesn't piss him off first

Samus: Well, let's go!

*Samus, Link, Zelda, Peach, Pikachu, Popo and Nana, and Gannondorf hop out of the ship to find themselves in the peaceful surroundings of Onett. Quite a colorful town, this Onett is. Children playing, birds singing, the local police bullying people around...and what a town Onett is! Who would not like it?!*

Gdorf: ...disgusting...

Nana: I agree.

Zelda: What? What is so disgusting about such a peaceful town?

Nana: I want action. There definitely won't be a need for an assassin here.

Gdorf: Peaceful...yuck. This is torture to me!

Peach: Well I like this place! I'm glad this will be an arena in the Super Smash Brothers Melee tournament. Such a nice place to have a fight, don't you agree?

Pikachu: Pika!

Peach: I knew you would!

Nana: Such a place may destroy my will to fight. I want a darker atmosphere.

Gdorf: Nana...have you ever considered becoming a villain?

Nana: No, why?

Gdorf: Well, you seem like the perfect villain! You have a dark atmosphere about you.

Samus: A pink parka doesn't usually give off that "dark atmosphere".

Gdorf: Well...she could work on that. Maybe a black parka would fit the situation a little better?

Nana: Hm...well I do look good in black.

Samus: Enough talk, we should find Ness immediately.

Zelda: Where could he be?

Samus: The town isn't that big so it shouldn't be that hard to find him.

*Everyone walks from where Samus' ship is parked (damn, I still want a ship to park) and into the street, looking for Ness*

Link: ...!

Zelda: What is it, Link?

Link: !!!

Popo: Whoa! He can't talk?

Zelda: Yes he can! It's just that...I believe he doesn't want to talk.

Link: !!!!!

Samus: Something must be wrong, if he is this excited.

*Link begins to jump about, not knowing how to express what he wants everyone to know. Just then, an idea pops up into his head. He points down the other end of the street, signifying that a large truck is heading towards them at full speed. Shocked, everyone jumps off the road as soon as possible. Even though they all tried to get away, the force of the speeding truck sends everyone flying into the wall of a nearby house.*

Samus: You could have pointed a little earlier, Link.

*Link shrugs*

Gdorf: I always knew Link was slow. He can't talk either.

Zelda: He is not slow and he CAN talk!

Peach: Toad? TOAD! No, he is still on the ship. I was so preoccupied with Pikachu that I completely forgot about him.

Pikachu: Pi...ka?

Peach: No, it's not your fault. Toad will get his whipping when we return.

Samus: What do you need Toad for?

Peach: Well someone has to get the number on the back of that truck!

Samus: Can't you get it?

Peach: No! I am a princess. I have people to do things for me.

Popo: Well it doesn't matter; the truck went through the tunnel already.

Pikachu: Cha!

Peach: What is it, Pikachu?

Pikachu: Pika!

Zelda: A bus station. Maybe, just maybe, Ness is in there.

Samus: Well let's check.

*The group, drawing much attention, walks towards the bus station. You don't see people like this everyday in Onett...or not until the Super Smash Brothers Melee Tournament. The doors of the Bus station flung open, and the unfamiliar characters walked into the station. Heads turned towards them.*

Samus: Anyone see him?

Zelda: Is that Ness over there?

Ness: Stupid machine! *Kick*

Samus: Ness? Ness!

Ness: Hey...why are you all here?

Zelda: We wanted to ask you something.

Ness: Sure...right after I deal with this damn ATM machine. *Kick*

Gdorf: You have money? You don't seem like one with money.

Ness: Well I might not have any money if this damn machine doesn't give it to me! *Kick* Yes! That worked!

Gdorf: Where'd you get the money?

Ness: My dad. He pays me by the monster.

Samus: What?

Ness: See, that's how things work in Earthbound. The more monsters I kill, the more money I get from my dad. Their strength will determine the amount of money I get. *Smile*

Peach: I see no monsters...just crazy drivers.

Ness: This is more of a safe area...just your occasional wild dog or snake.

Samus: What we wanted to ask you was if you would come with us to help convince Miyamoto to get HAL to change some of the new strict rules.

Ness: Sure...as long as that Lakitu arsewhole doesn't have anything to do with this.

Zelda: We'll put word in about Lakitu with Miyamoto... *Smile*

Pikachu: Pikachu!

Peach: *sigh* I wish he could talk so I'd understand him better...

Ness: You want him to talk?

Peach: Yeah... *sigh*

Ness: You know, my friend Jeff is in town. He's quite a genius. I'm sure he could make a device that could get Pikachu talking in no time!

Peach: Really?!

Pikachu: Pika!

Ness: Yeah, let's go now.

*After a little walking to Ness' house, the group settles down in his living room. His Mother, baffled, offers the group some tea as Jeff goes to work in Ness' room on a device that can make the Pokemon talk. Ness seals his sister's room shut, so she won't interfere.*

Zelda: Wow...is your sister that bad? Did you have to seal her up in her room?

Ness: She's not a bad kid...she is just big on business. She would probably try to sell you something, or store some of your items for you.

*An explosion erupts from Ness' room.*

Samus: The hell?

Jeff: MY LATEST INVENTION IS COMPLETE!

Peach: Yay! Hurry up and show us!

Jeff: I call this...instant hooked on Phonics...for Pokemon!

Zelda: eh?

*Jeff reveals a gray, metal collar. Nothing seems too special about it...*

Jeff: Put this on Pikachu...and in seconds, he will talk! But you must keep the collar on him if you want him to talk.

*Peach snatches the collar from Jeff's hands and carefully places it on Pikachu's neck. The pokemon begins to sweat, as he does not know what the collar is for. He begins to feel sudden vibrations in his throat...almost to an unbearable point, when it stops.*

Peach: You could have made the collar a little...classier...if you can call what you have made classy. Pink with diamonds would be very classy. Don't you agree, Pikachu?

Jeff: Look lady! I made the device, now YOU decor-

Pikachu: Actually, I would prefer this gray over pink with diamonds.

Peach: Eek! He spoke! It worked!

Jeff: Naturally, it would work.

Pikachu: I spoke? No more pika, pika? FREEDOM AT LAST!

Ness: Now that that's settled we can leave. Bye mom! Don't forget to unseal Sis' room!

*The group leaves Ness' house and heads back to the area of town where Samus' ship was parked (you know what I want) which has now drawn much attention. People have gathered around it, and some people are even tapping on it to see if it's alive. Ness runs down to the crowd and tells them that the spaceship isn't real and that it's just being used in a movie set. The crowd sure enough believed him, and all went back to what they were doing before. The group hops into the ship...Yoshi is chasing Kirby around the ship, teasing him...like he had planned.*

Kirby: SHUT UP!

Yoshi: You know Pikachu defeats you in all aspects, not just cuteness.

Kirby: No! SHUT UP!

Fox: Haha! This has turned into quite an entertaining show.

Samus: How long have they been doing that?

Fox: Guess, wench! Haha!

Samus: *sigh* I don't have time for this. Every time I leave the ship, chaos breaks loose. Falcon! FALCON!

C.Falcon: Um...back here, armored muffin!

*Samus enters the backroom of her ship...to find Captain Falcon tied to a chair.*

Samus: What happened!?

C.Falcon: Well...I accidentally got Kirby mad at me again. Of course, he beat me around with the hammer a bit before he tied me up, though.

Samus: Ugh, Falcon!

*Samus begins to untie Falcon from the chair, but before she can finish, she hears shouts coming from the front.*

Fox: OUCH! FAWKERS! THAT WAS MY DAMN TAIL!

*Fox pulls out his blaster, and starts letting off rounds at Yoshi and Kirby, who are running around the ship trying to get away from him. One of the fired shots hits Shyla's foot. She hops in pain and tips over on top of Zelda and Link, who are now trying to lug the big-arse dinosaur off of themselves. Gannondorf and Nana begin to argue over if she should be a villain or not. Peach begins to whip Toad, as she stated she would earlier. Samus begins to moan.*

Samus: Why do I have to deal with this?