Chapter 14: Perverted Reptile's Plan
*A few minutes later, Samus has managed to calm everyone down. She took Fox's blaster away from him so he wouldn't shoot holes into Yoshi and Kirby. She helped pull Link and Zelda out from under Shyla. Nana seems to have won the argument with Gannondorf...but he sits in a corner thinking of more ways to convince her to become a villain. Peach finally stopped whipping Toad. Samus sits in her chair at the cockpit, and begins to relax as the chaos is over...for now.*
Samus: I think we all need a break.
Pikachu: I cannot rest at a time like this! I must find this books' secret!
*Pikachu pulls out a large dictionary and begins to scan it anxiously.*
Samus: Whatever...I'm getting me some sleep.
*Samus leans back in her chair and begins to doze off. The other mascots begin to relax aswell.*
C.Falcon: Um...hello? Anyone? I am still tied to this chair! Armored muffin was trying to untie me, but she stopped. Hello? Anyone!? Help me...please?
*Everyone had dozed off so Falcon's cries for help went unheard…well all but Shyla and Yoshi were sleep, and the anxious Pikachu reading the dictionary. Shyla whispers to Yoshi and Yoshi whispers back. A smile appears on Shyla's face. The two dinosaurs dash into the backroom, and throw the restrained Falcon out of the room, leaving him lying on the floor, still tied to the chair. Falcon begins to yell for help again. Pikachu is too entertained by the dictionary to even realize that Falcon is there. Falcon's yells wake Fox up. He simply walks up to Falcon, kicks him a few times hoping he would shut up, and goes back to where he was to sleep again. A few minutes later, a tapping on the cockpit window awakens Samus. She opens her eyes to find a little man in a black suit with a camera in his hand standing on the cockpit window, smiling at her. She sits forward in surprise and anger.*
Samus: Who are you?! Are you some kind of stalker?!
Man: ...Say "Fuzzy Pickles"!
Samus: Fuzzy...Pickles?
*Snap*
Samus: Hey! Is this some kind of joke?! I did not want my picture taken!
Man: Toodles!
*The little man spins around and floats into the air, disappearing from which he came.*
Samus: I better take off before something else weird like that happens in this town.
*Samus pushes the "launch" button in the cockpit. The ship then takes off into the air and out of Onett. Samus sits back in her chair again, this time, holding a pen and a notepad with several names scratched out. She scratches off "Ness" on the notepad and holds her head in disgust as she reads the next name on the list, "Bowser". She did not want to deal with him and she knew that no one else wanted too aswell. Everyone knows how perverted Bowser is, especially after the incident with Peach a month ago. If he can't have Peach then another female Nintendo mascot would do. Samus wouldn't mind blasting Bowser off of the face of Nintendo, but then Mario wouldn't have a villain to beat on in every one of his games. Everyone is still asleep or occupied. Samus flies the ship to Bowser's Castle. The ship hovers above the castle and Samus presses the "Communicator" button. A transparent video window appears on the cockpit glass revealing Bowser sitting in his chair, looking bored.*
Bowser: Peach...I shall have my time with you again. This time, I will thrust in a few more areas I didn't get to explore before.
Troopa: *Ahem*
Bowser: What is it?!
Troopa: Sir, Samus Aran is communicating with you through a video window.
Bowser: Samus...I wonder what she could have to offer me...
Samus: More than what you could ever handle.
Bowser: You...wouldn't happen to know where Peach is, would you?
Samus: N-O-Y-B
Bowser: And what does that stand for?
Samus: None of Your Business.
Bowser: Very amusing...of course, I'd rather be amused by Peach.
Samus: Pervert, go and get a life beyond Peach. She is nothing but a Royal Hussy.
Bowser: Yes...but I will make her MY royal hussy. She shall entertain me for all eternity.
Samus: ENOUGH ABOUT PEACH! I am here to ask you if you would come with the rest of the mascots to convince Miyamoto to get HAL to change the new strict rules in the Super Smash Brothers Melee Tournament.
Bowser: Hmmm...I have to think about it...
Samus: We don't have forever. Either you come or you don't.
Bowser: Well...DK is here too...but he is lost. If you help me find him I may consider going. There is no need to get all of the other mascots. He shouldn't be that hard to find.
Samus: So why haven't you found him yet?
Bowser: Because I haven't gotten off of my lazy arse yet. I don't have much inspiration without Peach.
Samus: Whatever.
*Zip*
Troopa: Sir, are you really going to help her? And DK isn't lost; he is over there eating bananas.
Bowser: I KNOW THAT! This is just apart of my plan to get Peach.
Troopa: Sorry, sir. I should have known better than to question your intelligence.
*Samus creeps out of her ship, trying not to disturb anyone. She hops out of the ship and walks into Bowser's castle. The castle seems empty as she walks down the long corridors full of fearsome looking statues. Samus sees a shadow come from around a corner. She quickly takes aim with her Cannon, until the shadow is recognized as Bowser and his Troopa servant.*
Samus: Did you find DK?
Bowser: No, but it seems that he found you!
Samus: What?
*DK jumps out of the shadows with a barrel in hands. He slams the barrel into Samus, knocking her unconscious.*
Bowser: Bring her to the throne room...this plan of action is complete.
Troopa: What is next, sir?
Bowser: You'll see soon.
*A blank video window appears in the cockpit of Samus ship, waiting to be answered. The video window beeps several times, going unanswered. The beep wakes Captain Falcon, who is still tied to the chair. He begins to yell for Samus to tell her that the video window needs answering, not realizing that she is gone. Fox is awakened by Falcon's yelling again. He goes over to kick Falcon some more when he hears the beeping of the video window.*
C.Falcon: I was trying to get armored muffin to answer it but she must be gone!
Fox: Is this what has been bothering you? If I answer it will you shut the hell up and let me sleep?
C.Falcon: Yes, please answer it. I have a feeling that it is important.
*Fox walks over to the video window and pushes on the "Answer" button. An image appears with Bowser holding his arm around a chained Samus. Samus is awake.*
Bowser: Ah...I knew someone would be on her ship. Oh, it's you...
Fox: You pervert fawker! What business do you have?
Bowser: I know Peach is on that ship...
*Samus starts to shake her head trying to signify to Fox not to let Bowser know that Peach is on the ship but he ignores her.*
Fox: Yeah, the tramp is on this ship.
Bowser: I will offer you a trade. You give me Peach in exchange for Samus.
Fox: Hmm...a wench, or a tramp?
Bowser: You don't seem to be taking me seriously. I shouldn't have expected alcoholic lowlife animal scum such as yourself to take this seriously.
Fox: Fawker, we have some unfinished business to settle.
Bowser: That, we do.
Samus: Bastard! Free me!
Bowser: No, you are my perfect ticket for getting Peach.
Samus: I will get revenge! I will start by slapping your mother for giving birth to you.
*Slap*
Bowser: Shut up about my mother, byatch!
Samus: You slap like a preschooler.
Bowser: Do you want me to rape you or something?
Samus: Spare me that torture. Hell is probably more enjoyable.
*After much struggling, Captain Falcon has managed to untie himself from the chair. He runs over to the video window, knocking Fox to the side.*
Fox: Fawker! I was in the middle of something!
C.Falcon: ARMORED MUFFIN!
Bowser: Ah, someone who cares. Give me Peach, or I will rape the hell out of Samus and hang her raped body infront of my castle for all to see.
C.Falcon: YOU BASTARD!
Bowser: Well, bye. I hope to see Peach soon, or I will have to settle for Samus to take my sexual frustrations out on.
*The video window closes with a laughing Bowser and a pissed Samus. Along with an equally pissed Captain Falcon on the other side.*
*A few minutes later, Samus has managed to calm everyone down. She took Fox's blaster away from him so he wouldn't shoot holes into Yoshi and Kirby. She helped pull Link and Zelda out from under Shyla. Nana seems to have won the argument with Gannondorf...but he sits in a corner thinking of more ways to convince her to become a villain. Peach finally stopped whipping Toad. Samus sits in her chair at the cockpit, and begins to relax as the chaos is over...for now.*
Samus: I think we all need a break.
Pikachu: I cannot rest at a time like this! I must find this books' secret!
*Pikachu pulls out a large dictionary and begins to scan it anxiously.*
Samus: Whatever...I'm getting me some sleep.
*Samus leans back in her chair and begins to doze off. The other mascots begin to relax aswell.*
C.Falcon: Um...hello? Anyone? I am still tied to this chair! Armored muffin was trying to untie me, but she stopped. Hello? Anyone!? Help me...please?
*Everyone had dozed off so Falcon's cries for help went unheard…well all but Shyla and Yoshi were sleep, and the anxious Pikachu reading the dictionary. Shyla whispers to Yoshi and Yoshi whispers back. A smile appears on Shyla's face. The two dinosaurs dash into the backroom, and throw the restrained Falcon out of the room, leaving him lying on the floor, still tied to the chair. Falcon begins to yell for help again. Pikachu is too entertained by the dictionary to even realize that Falcon is there. Falcon's yells wake Fox up. He simply walks up to Falcon, kicks him a few times hoping he would shut up, and goes back to where he was to sleep again. A few minutes later, a tapping on the cockpit window awakens Samus. She opens her eyes to find a little man in a black suit with a camera in his hand standing on the cockpit window, smiling at her. She sits forward in surprise and anger.*
Samus: Who are you?! Are you some kind of stalker?!
Man: ...Say "Fuzzy Pickles"!
Samus: Fuzzy...Pickles?
*Snap*
Samus: Hey! Is this some kind of joke?! I did not want my picture taken!
Man: Toodles!
*The little man spins around and floats into the air, disappearing from which he came.*
Samus: I better take off before something else weird like that happens in this town.
*Samus pushes the "launch" button in the cockpit. The ship then takes off into the air and out of Onett. Samus sits back in her chair again, this time, holding a pen and a notepad with several names scratched out. She scratches off "Ness" on the notepad and holds her head in disgust as she reads the next name on the list, "Bowser". She did not want to deal with him and she knew that no one else wanted too aswell. Everyone knows how perverted Bowser is, especially after the incident with Peach a month ago. If he can't have Peach then another female Nintendo mascot would do. Samus wouldn't mind blasting Bowser off of the face of Nintendo, but then Mario wouldn't have a villain to beat on in every one of his games. Everyone is still asleep or occupied. Samus flies the ship to Bowser's Castle. The ship hovers above the castle and Samus presses the "Communicator" button. A transparent video window appears on the cockpit glass revealing Bowser sitting in his chair, looking bored.*
Bowser: Peach...I shall have my time with you again. This time, I will thrust in a few more areas I didn't get to explore before.
Troopa: *Ahem*
Bowser: What is it?!
Troopa: Sir, Samus Aran is communicating with you through a video window.
Bowser: Samus...I wonder what she could have to offer me...
Samus: More than what you could ever handle.
Bowser: You...wouldn't happen to know where Peach is, would you?
Samus: N-O-Y-B
Bowser: And what does that stand for?
Samus: None of Your Business.
Bowser: Very amusing...of course, I'd rather be amused by Peach.
Samus: Pervert, go and get a life beyond Peach. She is nothing but a Royal Hussy.
Bowser: Yes...but I will make her MY royal hussy. She shall entertain me for all eternity.
Samus: ENOUGH ABOUT PEACH! I am here to ask you if you would come with the rest of the mascots to convince Miyamoto to get HAL to change the new strict rules in the Super Smash Brothers Melee Tournament.
Bowser: Hmmm...I have to think about it...
Samus: We don't have forever. Either you come or you don't.
Bowser: Well...DK is here too...but he is lost. If you help me find him I may consider going. There is no need to get all of the other mascots. He shouldn't be that hard to find.
Samus: So why haven't you found him yet?
Bowser: Because I haven't gotten off of my lazy arse yet. I don't have much inspiration without Peach.
Samus: Whatever.
*Zip*
Troopa: Sir, are you really going to help her? And DK isn't lost; he is over there eating bananas.
Bowser: I KNOW THAT! This is just apart of my plan to get Peach.
Troopa: Sorry, sir. I should have known better than to question your intelligence.
*Samus creeps out of her ship, trying not to disturb anyone. She hops out of the ship and walks into Bowser's castle. The castle seems empty as she walks down the long corridors full of fearsome looking statues. Samus sees a shadow come from around a corner. She quickly takes aim with her Cannon, until the shadow is recognized as Bowser and his Troopa servant.*
Samus: Did you find DK?
Bowser: No, but it seems that he found you!
Samus: What?
*DK jumps out of the shadows with a barrel in hands. He slams the barrel into Samus, knocking her unconscious.*
Bowser: Bring her to the throne room...this plan of action is complete.
Troopa: What is next, sir?
Bowser: You'll see soon.
*A blank video window appears in the cockpit of Samus ship, waiting to be answered. The video window beeps several times, going unanswered. The beep wakes Captain Falcon, who is still tied to the chair. He begins to yell for Samus to tell her that the video window needs answering, not realizing that she is gone. Fox is awakened by Falcon's yelling again. He goes over to kick Falcon some more when he hears the beeping of the video window.*
C.Falcon: I was trying to get armored muffin to answer it but she must be gone!
Fox: Is this what has been bothering you? If I answer it will you shut the hell up and let me sleep?
C.Falcon: Yes, please answer it. I have a feeling that it is important.
*Fox walks over to the video window and pushes on the "Answer" button. An image appears with Bowser holding his arm around a chained Samus. Samus is awake.*
Bowser: Ah...I knew someone would be on her ship. Oh, it's you...
Fox: You pervert fawker! What business do you have?
Bowser: I know Peach is on that ship...
*Samus starts to shake her head trying to signify to Fox not to let Bowser know that Peach is on the ship but he ignores her.*
Fox: Yeah, the tramp is on this ship.
Bowser: I will offer you a trade. You give me Peach in exchange for Samus.
Fox: Hmm...a wench, or a tramp?
Bowser: You don't seem to be taking me seriously. I shouldn't have expected alcoholic lowlife animal scum such as yourself to take this seriously.
Fox: Fawker, we have some unfinished business to settle.
Bowser: That, we do.
Samus: Bastard! Free me!
Bowser: No, you are my perfect ticket for getting Peach.
Samus: I will get revenge! I will start by slapping your mother for giving birth to you.
*Slap*
Bowser: Shut up about my mother, byatch!
Samus: You slap like a preschooler.
Bowser: Do you want me to rape you or something?
Samus: Spare me that torture. Hell is probably more enjoyable.
*After much struggling, Captain Falcon has managed to untie himself from the chair. He runs over to the video window, knocking Fox to the side.*
Fox: Fawker! I was in the middle of something!
C.Falcon: ARMORED MUFFIN!
Bowser: Ah, someone who cares. Give me Peach, or I will rape the hell out of Samus and hang her raped body infront of my castle for all to see.
C.Falcon: YOU BASTARD!
Bowser: Well, bye. I hope to see Peach soon, or I will have to settle for Samus to take my sexual frustrations out on.
*The video window closes with a laughing Bowser and a pissed Samus. Along with an equally pissed Captain Falcon on the other side.*